Someone to Kiss

by Scotty Cade

  DANE WAS shaken out of his reverie this time by the wheels of the plane touching down. He looked at his watch in shock and couldn’t believe they were already landing. Time to put aside his memories and step into his new, much emptier, life.

  Chapter Three

  CARTER WAS numb as he slid in behind the wheel of his car. He simply stared straight ahead through the windshield. He was raw with emotion and doing his best to hold it together, but it was impossible. He slammed his fist on the dashboard in a rage, but the anger was quickly replaced with profound sadness.

  He felt empty, alone, and abandoned. He knew it wasn’t Dane’s fault. But he’d promised, dammit. Carter wanted so badly to blame someone. To blame Dane. But he knew he couldn’t. Neither could he stop the feelings that consumed him. The fact that he could still smell Dane’s cologne lingering in the air and mixing with the scent of the leather upholstery only made him feel worse.

  And when he got home, pulled into his driveway, and put the car in park, he cursed himself, wishing his office was open so he’d have something to do to take his mind off of Dane. Now all he could do was busy himself taking down the Christmas decorations and then bounce around his empty house and think about the one that got away.

  Carter was taping the last box closed when his phone rang. Dane.

  “Hey there,” Carter said. “Was your flight okay?”

  “Yeah. I miss you already,” Dane said.

  “I miss you too. It’s so odd knowing you’re not coming over tonight.”

  “Carter, I—”

  “Come on, Dane, let’s not do this.”

  “Do what? Can’t I tell you how I’m feeling?”

  “Of course, but it’s not going to change anything.”

  “Don’t you think I know that,” Dane protested. “But it makes me feel closer to you.”

  Carter had no resolve left. He sighed. “Dane. My heart is breaking, and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  “I feel the same way.”

  “Then let’s not do this today. Okay? The wounds are still too fresh for me. I need a couple of days to get used to you being gone.”

  Dane sighed. “Okay. I’ll give it a little time, but I’m not giving up.”

  “Dane,” Carter said.

  “I’m not giving up,” Dane repeated.

  “Bye, Dane.”

  “Bye.”

  Carter ended the call and leaned back in his chair, the box he’d been working on forgotten at his feet. He closed his eyes, fighting tears. How could it have ended like this? The beginning had been so full of promise. He could still hear the happiness in Dane’s voice when they’d arranged their first evening out together. “It’s a date,” he’d said…

  WAS IT a date? Carter hoped it was, and he was nervous as hell about it. But what if it wasn’t? At the very least, he just might make a new friend, but he’d seen the growing erection in Dane’s pants during his examination, and that was sort of a calling card, so to speak.

  Carter hadn’t been on a date in, well… he couldn’t remember when, and despite a last-minute six-year-old patient who thought he was a Power Ranger and needed eight stiches on the back of his head, he was determined to be on time for this one. Despite working as fast as he could and fighting the Augusta Street traffic to get home and the downtown traffic to get to Dane’s, he was running a few minutes behind schedule. It took all he had not to speed down Church Street, but if he caught every traffic light, green, he might just make it on time. Damn! I hope I remembered to tell Dane to dress casual.

  Since he’d dropped Dane off at his apartment yesterday afternoon, Carter had thought about little else but the green-eyed, blond-haired Texan. In his dreams last night, he’d seen Dane McCormick as a cowboy, riding tall and sure on the back of a chestnut-colored horse, in tight jeans and a Stetson hat. But that image had changed this morning when he’d picked Dane up and, well… he was all GQ and corporate in his navy blue suit and highly polished lace-up dress shoes.

  Cowboy or not, Dane was gorgeous, and it had taken all the willpower Carter possessed not to cross doctor-patient lines and ask Dane out on the spot. Besides circumventing professional lines, which was something Carter would never do, what was the worst that could have happened? Dane could have said he was straight and declined. Or maybe Carter could have taken a fist to the jaw. Big deal. He could hold his own in that department, but after he’d seen that growing erection, he’d figured Dane was, at the very least, interested.

  It was bad enough he’d insisted on taking Dane home and then called him later that night to check on him. That could be seen as blurring the lines, but he was genuinely concerned for Dane’s well-being, and the fact that Dane seemed to be touched by the extra attention had elated Carter.

  Now the real test came. Dinner. A few very short or exceptionally long hours to confirm if the man was gay or straight and to see if they had anything in common besides an initial attraction. But there was one thing that nagged at Carter. Dane had said he traveled a lot. That’s wasn’t good as far as Carter was concerned. Been there done that! Long distance never works. But he tried not to jump the gun and get ahead of himself. This was just a date, not a marriage proposal.

  Besides he may not even like you. You can sometimes come off as a bit ditsy and scatterbrained. But you’re a damn good doctor. Carter had sailed through college and medical school, graduating at the top of his class. His internship and residency, the latter in emergency medicine, had gone well, but in the ER at Greenville Memorial, he’d seen it all and realized being a god or savior wasn’t his calling. That’s when he’d decided he wanted to help simple people with simple medicine and opened his own urgent care clinic on Augusta Street.

  IT WAS one minute after seven when Carter laid his finger on the doorbell, took a deep breath, and pressed the button.

  Moments later Dane opened the door, and Carter was left speechless with his mouth surely gaping. Dane was in a dark green vintage Henley that hugged his body in all the right places and made his eyes look as green as spring in merry old Ireland. Faded jeans and those same worn buckskin cowboy boots finished off the outfit. Damn, he’s hot!

  “Hey there. Come on in,” Dane said, offering his hand. Apparently noticing Carter staring at his shirt, he continued. “Is this outfit too laid-back? If so I can change. But I went online, and the Lazy Goat’s website said the dress code was casual.” Dane looked down at his jeans. “So I went casual.”

  Carter accepted Dane’s hand and shook it. He loved a man who had a tight, strong grip in a handshake. “No. No. You look great. It’s good to see you, Dane.”

  Dane stepped back and motioned Carter inside.

  As Carter passed Dane, he caught a hint of a spicy cologne on the air. Damn, he even smells good. “Good to see you as well,” he muttered. “Great color on you, by the way.”

  Dane blushed and grinned shyly. “Thanks. How about something to drink?”

  “Sure. What are you having?”

  “A beer,” Dane said. “But I have chardonnay chilling and a pinot noir breathing. The choice is totally yours.”

  “Since I’ll probably have wine at dinner,” Carter said, “I think I’ll take a beer.”

  “You got it.” Dane twisted the top off of a beer. “Would you like a glass?”

  “Bottle is fine. Thanks.”

  “What time is our reservation again?” Dane asked.

  “Eight o’clock.”

  “Perfect. I’m excited. I’ve been wanting to try that place,” Dane said. “Shall we sit on the terrace?”

  “Sure.”

  When they walked onto Dane’s terrace, Carter took in the view. “Man. Look at those mountains. I know you’ve only been here a couple of weeks, but I swear fall in Greenville is almost as pretty as spring.”

  “I would imagine you’re probably right,” Dane said. “But the view of the Blue Ridge Mountains is what sold me on this place. And it never gets old.”

  “They are spectacular.” Carter smile
d, still staring into the distance. “Did you have a good day?”

  “It was a great day actually. Worked out all the kinks in the lease, and it’s now it’s in the hands of our attorneys, waiting to be signed.”

  Carter held up his beer to toast. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks. Now the fun work starts,” Dane said.

  “You mean the build-out?”

  Dane smiled. “You remembered.”

  “Of course I remembered. One of the things about being a doctor is you have to be a good listener. To what your patients are saying and, more importantly, what they’re not saying.”

  Dane nodded. “You know, I never thought of it that way, but that makes a lot of sense. Hey. While we’re on this subject, I’ve been wondering—why did you decide on an urgent care clinic instead of a private practice?”

  Carter considered the question. “Well. An independent urgent care is pretty much like a private practice, only a little smaller. And usually with only one doctor, a physician’s assistant, a nurse, and a receptionist. Less overhead and no partners to answer to.”

  “That makes sense,” Dane said. “And why Greenville? Are you originally from here?”

  “Sort of,” Carter said. “My mother was from here, but I was raised in a small town in Vermont, near my dad’s family.”

  Dane gasped. “Yankee country?”

  Carter laughed out loud. He knew at that very moment he was definitely smitten with one Dane McCormick. “But I spent a lot of summers here, if that counts.”

  “Interesting,” Dane said stifling a laugh. “So you set out to practice in Greenville?”

  “Not really,” Carter said. “I had this stupid idea that I wanted to be an ER doctor, and there was an opening for an ER resident in Greenville, so it just sort of happened.”

  “I see.”

  “But before that,” Carter went on. “I knew I wouldn’t practice in Vermont. Too much family there. Too many skiers. Too many tree huggers. Not a good combination. Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good cause, but lordy, those people can take a passion, try to make it your passion, and then ask you to squeeze every last drop out of it.”

  Dane howled with laughter.

  Carter continued. “Anyway, I thought about San Francisco, Atlanta, and Chicago, but why not Greenville? It was ample in size—not too big, not too small—and had a lot to offer in the way of my profession.”

  “I think you made a good choice,” Dane agreed. “I can’t see you living in any of those places.”

  “As a matter of fact, when I was trying to decide what to do with my life and where to settle, study after study kept bringing up the South. Greenville in particular cropped up as the fastest growing little town in America, with a revitalized downtown and big business moving in. And to me that equaled a lot of corporate travelers. And what happens when people travel on a regular basis and get off and on airplanes?”

  “They get sick,” Dane agreed.

  Carter nodded and took another sip of his beer.

  “So has that sector turned out to be the biggest part of your business?”

  “Absolutely,” Carter said. “With the exception of a few kids with runny noses, various cuts and scrapes, and the occasional broken bone, people like you are my core business.”

  “Happy I can help,” Dane said holding up his beer bottle. “You said you did your residency here?”

  Carter nodded. “Greenville Memorial.”

  “Downtown, right?”

  “Near enough. Grove Road to be exact.”

  “I read somewhere that they are one of the leading trauma centers in the nation,” Dane recalled.

  “They are. I saw shit I’ll never forget,” Carter said quietly as he stared off toward the mountain range. “I saw just enough to know an ER doctor was not going to be in my future.” He looked back at Dane. “So that’s exactly why I chose urgent care.”

  “Well. I for one am glad you did.”

  “Hear, hear.” Carter winked and then looked at his watch. “We’d better get a move on or we’re gonna be late.”

  Carter jolted upright in his chair. He had almost drifted off, riding the sweet wave of memory. No, he told himself. Stop this. You’ll only hurt worse if you keep this up.

  With a heavy sigh, he went back to his self-imposed chores. Maybe if he wore himself out and then capped it off with a drink or three… or several… he’d have half a chance at getting some sleep tonight.

  THE NEXT week seemed a little easier. Dane called first thing in the morning, at lunchtime, and then again right before bed. But Carter began staring at his phone in between, willing Dane to call or finally calling Dane himself, desperate to hear his voice. To feel close to him.

  When the end of the week finally came, though, the conviction was growing on Carter that this had to stop. He and Dane were still acting like they were in some sort of relationship, and the longer they communicated on a regular basis, the harder it was going to be to actually let go. That reality was a hard pill to swallow. Dane had become Carter’s long-distance lifeline. I need to end this now, before it’s too much to bear.

  New Year’s Eve came, and Carter had to make a decision. Dane would never break it off completely, so he’d have to be the one to do it. Just before midnight, Carter’s phone rang.

  “Happy almost New Year,” Dane said in a voice that sounded cheerful but forced.

  Carter sighed. “Hi, Dane.”

  “What’s wrong?” Dane asked, apparently picking up the sadness in Carter’s voice.

  Carter cleared his throat. “I can’t do this any longer. We can’t go on like this. It’s just too hard. We need to give it up, Dane.”

  Silence filled the other end of the line.

  “Dane?”

  “I’m here.”

  “This is gonna feel like it’s killing us both, but we have to do it. We have to.”

  “I know,” Dane said. “But letting go of you is so hard.”

  “I know.” Carter’s voice cracked. “But if this—if we’re meant to be, this is not goodbye.”

  “Oh God, I want that so much,”

  “So do I. But you know as well as I do we can’t go on like this for another year—or maybe even longer.”

  Dane didn’t answer, and the silence dragged out between them.

  “Happy New Year, Dane,” Carter said finally, struggling to get the words out around the lump in his throat. “I wish you all the best the next year has to offer.”

  “It won’t be anything without you. I… I lov—”

  “Don’t say it, Dane. I can’t bear to hear that right now. Please.”

  “Then I guess all that’s left to say is Happy New Year, Carter.”

  The phone went dead.

  Carter looked at the blank screen and then tossed the damn thing across the room. He jumped when it hit the wall and shattered. He buried his face in his hands but held back the tears that threatened to escape. After a few minutes he stood, straightened his shoulders, and went to the fridge. He popped open a bottle of bubbly and drank the entire bottle in front of the open refrigerator door. He grabbed a second and carried it and a glass into the living room, where he sat on the couch, poured a drink, and sipped in a more civilized manner.

  The wrecked remnants of his cell phone caught his eye, and he didn’t miss the irony as he thought about his shattered love life. For the first time in many years, Carter couldn’t wait for the year to end. Three more minutes and the year, as well as his relationship, was going to be over.

  WHEN DANE ended the call, he sat back on the couch and brought the bottle of champagne he’d planned to toast Carter over the phone with up to his lips and took a swig. Hearing Carter’s voice brought him back to their second date. Dane could almost see the thick rib eyes sitting on the counter and smell the casserole—his mother’s cheesy potato recipe—in the oven. He’d opened a bottle of cabernet and was having a glass while he waited for his dinner date…

  TOTALLY ENJOYING the view from h
is terrace, Dane remembered the Realtor calling the place a penthouse when he’d pitched it to him. Yeah, it was on the top floor, but in his eyes this nine-hundred-square-foot condo with one bedroom and one-and-a-half baths was no penthouse. It was more of a matchbox on the top of a building. But it was all he needed. He worked most of the time and was hardly ever home—and it damn sure beat the extended-stay hotels he’d frequented in the past. But after last night, things might begin to change. He was hopeful he might have reason to work a little less and be home a little more. With that in mind, for the first time since he’d been in Greenville, Dane had left work early, grocery shopped, and made it home long before nine o’clock. He attributed the break with his workaholic habits all to Carter.

  Dane had had a great time with Carter the night before, and he’d thought of little else all day. The jolt he’d experienced when their hands touched for more than a simple handshake was front and center in his mind. And from that moment on, the entire evening had become full of promise and the anticipation of where things between them might go.

  He glanced at his watch. Almost six forty-five. His gaze turned once again to the view. He was never here at this hour, so he savored every minute of the low-hanging sun reflecting off the mountains in the far distance.

  He was brought back to reality when his doorbell rang. Dane jumped to his feet and looked at his watch again as he made his way to the door. Seven fifteen. Where had the time gone?

  Dane opened the door to a gorgeous doctor holding out his hands, a bottle of red wine in one and a bottle of white in the other. “I didn’t know what you were cooking, so I brought both.”

  Dane smiled. “You didn’t have to bring either. I have plenty.”

  “I would never show up to a handsome man’s condo empty-handed,” Carter said. “My mother would kill me.”

  “Okay, okay,” Dane said. “Being from Texas, I get it.”