She looked confused for a minute before it sunk in, “Seriously that was that Xavier, damn he’s even hotter in person.”
“He’s a dick,” said Mags.
I laughed, Xavier is a dick.
“So is Seth available?” Cin asked, Mags glared and I shrugged.
“I dunno, don’t really care what Seth does or who he does,” I said.
“Bullshit, Dev,” Mags cried, “don’t even try and pull that shit. I know better, you still love that man, you’ve been in love with him since you were 13 fucking years old.”
There was a knock on the door. “Cin, can you let Jules in?”
“Why doesn’t she just come on in like the rest of us?” Cin muttered but took off to answer the door.
“Because she has more respect than the rest of you,” I yelled in her direction she just left.
“Fuck you!” she yelled back.
“Hey, who’s the guy sitting on the porch?” Jules asked when she made it to the kitchen.
Mags and I both looked at each other, confusion clearly shown on both our faces.
“What guy?” we asked at the same time.
“I don’t know, he was just sitting on the swing on the front porch, kinda creeped me out actually,” said Jules.
“Oh you mean Eli?” Cin said walking back into the kitchen. “He was pissed at me the last time we had one of these things, he said I drank too much and shouldn’t have driven home. So ‘to ensure my safety’ he said he was coming with me tonight. I, of course told him no, it’s a girls’ night, but he insisted and said he’d sit out on the porch all night if need be, so that’s where he is.”
I looked at my cousin in disbelief, she wouldn’t would she? Then again this was Cin and she most definitely would.
I ran out of the kitchen and threw open the front door, “Eli Griffin, get your ass inside my house now.”
“Hey Dev, how are you?” Eli asked and got up from the swing.
I reached out and gave him a hug, “I’m doing good, what the hell were you thinking? Were you really going to sit out here all night?”
He hugged me back then shrugged, “Yea, if need be, that damn girl needs a keeper.”
I laughed, and walked arm in arm with Eli into the house; both Mags and Jules were in the living room, and both obviously checking Eli out.
“Eli, this is Mags and Jules,” I said gesturing to each of them. “This is my cousin Eli and the unfortunate soul who has to claim Cin as a sister.”
“I heard that bitch,” Cin yelled from the kitchen.
Eli chuckled, “Where’s Drake, I saw his car, but didn’t think he would be inside.”
“He took Jaks to the park, he should be back soon though, he said he wanted payment in food for getting Jaks out of my hair so I could clean. I think he only volunteered so he could finagle a meal out of me though,” I said and walked over to my stereo. “So what is it tonight guys?”
“Chevelle,” Jules said.
“Saving Abel,” said Mags
“Ozzy!” Cin yelled.
We all groaned, Cin has an obsession with Ozzy Osborne.
“Do I get a choice?” asked Eli and at my nod said, “Flogging Molly.”
“I like the way your mind works Eli, Flogging Molly it is,” with that I found my Drunken Lullabies CD and cranked my stereo up.
Eli walked over to me and draped his arm around my shoulders, “So Seth huh?”
I mentally cursed both Cin and my brother, “Yea Seth.”
“How did he take it?” he asked.
“Better than I expected, nothing was broken, and no one got punched.”
Eli nodded, “So I heard, you know if you need anything just let me know.” At my nod, he said, “I’m going to go check on my lush of a sister.”
“So what are you going to do about Seth?” asked Mags.
“I’m going to let him get to know his son, figure out how were going to work out custody and go on with my life,” I said.
Mags gave me a dubious look but left it at that, and for that I was grateful.
¯¯¯
Sam and I sat in the recording studio that Xavier had built in his backyard, Xavier was laying down some killer lyrics to one of the songs Sam and I had done the tracks for back in LA. No one had heard from Alex since he left, and no one has spoken of him. I loved Alex like a brother, but something was wrong, he hadn’t been himself in a while. I know what we were all thinking but none of us have given a voice to the possible problem yet.
There was a knock at the door; I waved Sam off who was sitting at the mixing board working with Xavier. I walked into the small entrance and looked out the glass paned window, and a smile broke over my face, Jaks stood there smiling back at me.
I quickly opened the door. “Hey there, buddy,” I said kneeling down to his level. “Who brought you?”
“Unca Ake,” he chimed I tried to keep the disappointment off my face.
“There you are Taz,” said Drake coming out the back door. “Damn kid’s quick.”
I laughed, and reached over and gave my son a hug and a kiss on top his head.
“That he is,” I said.
“So what are you two up to?” I asked.
“Decided to save my nephew from yet another girls’ night,” Drake said.
I raised my eyebrow at this. “Dev has a girls’ night?” I asked a little shocked. “The same Dev I know, the one who hates most women?”
“The one and only, they get together every other Sunday with Jules from the shop, our cousin Cin and the pain in the ass Mags.”
I laughed; Drake and Mags had been at each other’s throats since they met.
“How long has this been going on?” I asked while I scooped Jaks up and walked into the studio with Drake a step behind.
“A little over a year or so, since Cin moved back to town,” he shrugged. “Damn, nice set up you guys’ have here.”
“Xavier had it built shortly after he bought the place, first time we’ve used it though.”
Jaks was instantly drawn to all the flashing lights and buttons, making all of us laugh. Sam held out his arms and Jaks instantly wiggled his way towards Sam and the sound board.
“Keep a good hand on him Sam,” Drake said. “He’s wily like his dad.”
Sam smiled, “I have experience wrestling people away from the board; I got to keep Seth’s his hands off the shiny buttons too.”
“Oh, come on man, I know what I’m doing,” I responded getting me snorts in chorus.
“Xavier’s sounding good,” Drake said.
“Yea, he definitely is,” Sam said, he looked over at me and gave me a grin. We both knew this could be the best CD we’d done yet.
Drake picked up a lyric sheet then looked over at me, “Your words[V4] ?”
“Yea, how’d you know?” I asked.
He shrugged, “Depressing as hell, that’s how.”
I snorted.
“It messed you up just as bad as it did her, huh?” Drake asked.
Luckily I was interrupted by another knock on the door, so I took off to answer it while thinking about what he said. Did my leaving mess up Devi? She never spoke of it, I know I had told her I had missed her, but she had just shrugged it off. On the other side, she hadn’t taken another lover since I was gone, yea but she was a single mom working a demanding job, my inner voice said.
“Hey Max, what’s up?” I asked when I opened the door.
“Nothing, just bored thought I would come see what trouble you guys were causing,” he said.
“Come on in, nothing much happening but getting some work done.”
“Sweet, I always like listening to you guys.”
I headed back into the studio, I noticed Xavier, Drake and Jaks were in the sound proof room we used for recording, and Sam was fiddling with the tracks on one of the songs from our first CD. Sam removed the vocals and guitar and had just the bass track playing, a few seconds into it, Jaks squealed “DADDDYYYY!”
I stopped, ther
e was no way he had seen me yet, and I was nowhere near the window that faced into the other room. Sam looked up and smirked at me.
“What the fuck?” I asked.
Max and Drake both laughed.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked shocked while Jaks clapped still calling out daddy over and over, both Drake and Max looked smug, Xavier looked confused, and Sam looked thrilled.
Max clapped me on the shoulder, “You didn’t know she talked to Jaks about you?”
“She said she did, but how does he know that’s me playing?”
“Dev had me play around with your first CD, also a couple of your demos and I made a special CD for Jaks, it’s nothing but your bass stuff,” Drake said. “She played the demo stuff to him while she was pregnant, then she played the first CD stuff when he was a newborn, hell he still has a CD player in his room and he listens to you play.”
“So he knows my stuff?” I asked.
“I don’t know if he knows your stuff specifically, never tested it against it being you playing or any bass line,” Drake said with a shrug.
I stood there stunned staring at Jaks while he ran around the studio looking at everything, for a 2 year old he did pretty well about not touching the instruments, guess that would be Drake’s influence. I didn’t know what to think about what Devi had done, she had wanted Jaks to know who I was, and she went through a lot of trouble to make sure he had something of me with him.
“She told me she had a picture of me in his room and that she talked about me to him, but never about this,” I said still in awe.
“Doesn’t surprise me,” said Sam. “She always understood what your music meant to you, also that it would be something you would want passed to your child.”
I knew Sam was right, Devi had always gotten me. She’d always known how much I loved music, just like I had understood her love of art, then as she got older her love and passion about tattooing. Hell, I was the first person she’d given a tattoo. Her mentor had insisted she used something from flash, but she had refused. Instead she had drawn up a bass that looked exactly like my first bass then had a banner wrapped around the neck that had the notes of my favorite song. It was gorgeous and exactly me, she wouldn’t let me see it for the first time until she had the stencil on my arm, and was getting ready to start. I was shocked by how much thought she had put into it. Her mentor had been shocked by her quality of work from the beginning, but I never doubted her abilities. She had practiced and practiced for months, on top of going to school, I knew she was ready.
“I have to fix this,” I said, thinking back to this morning and how quickly things had gotten screwed up.
“Well, with any luck she’s had a few margaritas by now, bitched about you to the girls, so maybe she’s calm enough to listen,” Drake said.
I snorted, “Yea sure, if she even answers the door.”
“Ah, but she has too, she has your car keys and you have the kid,” Sam said with a smile.
Chapter Sixteen
We were all all sitting outside on my back deck laughing at the stories Eli was telling us about some of Cin’s more outrageous antics. We were on our fifth pitcher of margaritas and I had a good buzz going.
“So my door was thrown open and this naked guy was shoved into my room and his clothes were tossed in after him, one of his shoes hitting him in the head, looking completely confused,” Eli was saying. “Then my door was slammed and I heard Cin say ‘hi daddy’ in her sugary sweet voice that always seemed to fool my parents. The guy just stood there staring at the door completely baffled about what happened. I went back to playing with my guitar and a few minutes later Cin comes back in and starts whisper yelling at the guy about how he’s not dressed yet, shoving clothes at him,” he trailed off looking at my back door, I glanced up and saw Drake standing there grinning.
“And your parents were worried about us corrupting her?” he asked shaking his head. “Dev, if you ever would of tried that stunt, I would of beaten your ass.”
He stepped out onto the deck walking up to Eli and doing their manly fist bump thing.
“Hey Eli,” Drake said. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Babysitting,” he said giving a meaningful glance at Cin.
Drake laughed.
“Hey Devi,” Seth said, I hadn’t noticed him standing there holding Jaks until he spoke.
“Hi Seth,” I said looking past Seth I could see Max, Sam and Xavier. “Uhm, I don’t think you all know each other, this is Cin and Eli, Drake and my cousins and this is Jules, she’s our shop tech,” I said. “This is Seth, Sam and Xavier, you all know Max and Mags.”
Seth sat a squirming Jaks down who then took off towards Eli. “Hey,” Eli nodded in their direction before snatching Jaks up and tickling him. Jules gave a shy wave, and Cin eyed them like they were covered in chocolate.
Everyone made their way on to the deck, Seth’s eyes still on me; I was doing my best of ignoring him. “There’s beer in the fridge and new pitcher of margaritas on the counter,” I said.
“I’ll get the beers,” Xavier said and made his way back into the kitchen.
“Hey Mags,” Seth said.
“Hey Seth, I was wondering if I would see you while you’re in town,” Mags said then with a wink at me, “Looking good Sam.”
I laughed as my brother growled, god that man had it bad, and Mags loved to play with him.
“So, what have you boys been up too?” Mags asked giving me a worried glance, guess I wasn’t hiding my emotions as well as I thought.
“Working in the studio,” Sam said. “We decided to take a break and come and get Seth’s car.”
“The keys are by the door,” I replied still not looking at Seth. Everyone shot me a look, guess that sounded rude, but I didn’t know what else to say with everyone here feeling the tension between Seth and me.
Eli, Drake and Sam started talking music, Cin started flirting with Xavier. Mags, Max and Jules started talking about the latest gossip at the shop.
“Can we talk?” Seth asked.
“Sure,” I said glancing over at Jaks who was curled up in Eli’s lap almost asleep, both Drake and Eli caught my look.
“He’s fine,” Drake said. “We played hard at the park, and grabbed dinner before heading over to Xavier’s; he’s going to pass out soon and be out for the night.”
I nodded and got up leading Seth into the house. We walked into the living room where I went to my stereo looking through the CD’s.
“Why won’t you look at me, Devi?” Seth asked, he was a lot closer than I realized.
I looked at him over my shoulder, “The CD is almost through, looking for something else to play.”
“Leave it, look at me, and let’s talk about this morning,” he said.
I stood and looked at him, “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes there is, and you know it,” he growled. “I didn’t mean what I said this morning, Sam and Drake came over telling me the guys wanted to talk. I made a guess and I was right, they wanted to talk about what my plans were. I said what I said because I knew what Alex wanted me to do, give you money and walk away,” he explained. “That has never been my plan, Devi, you have to know that, I want the three of us to be a family.”
I looked away blinking back tears, god that’s what I wanted too, the three of us as a family, but I knew it couldn’t happen. I looked back at Seth, and I knew he could see it in my eyes that it wasn’t going to happen, a look of defeat I had never seen before in his eyes caused the tears to finally spill over.
“I can’t Seth,” I said simply.
“Why?”
“I can’t go through it again Seth. I can’t watch you walk away again and survive,” I said my vision blurry.
“What about Jaks?” he asked. “Doesn’t he deserve us to be a family?”
“Jaks deserves us to get along, it would be best for all of us if we stayed friends, and that’s it, Seth”
“That’s bullshit Devi
!”
“No, that’s reality Seth,” I bit out.
“Fine, for now,” he growled out. “What are we going to do about Jaks?”
“While you’re in town, you can see him whenever you want. Pick him up from daycare, spend Saturdays with him, I only ask that you let me have Sundays since it’s my only day off.”
“And when I’m not in town, when I’m on tour?”
My Misery Muse Page 9