“Morning buddy,” I said quietly, “you hungry?”
He looked and nodded, not much of a morning person like his mother.
I carefully untangled myself from Devi, covered her up and kissed her forehead. “Come on, let’s go find breakfast.”
I padded into the kitchen and found a box of cereal, “Will this work?”
Once again, I just got a head nod while he climbed into his booster seat; I fixed us both a bowl of cereal, and started the coffee pot. We sat there eating in silence when I heard the front door open then footsteps heading this direction. I looked up and Drake and Sam stood in the doorway.
“Long night?” Sam asked.
Jaks grunted and went back to his cereal; I had to fight not to laugh at my son, so like his mom in the mornings. You didn’t dare try and talk to Devi before she had her coffee.
“Kinda,” I said then got up to put my bowl in the sink and fix myself a cup of coffee. I heard Sam and Drake chuckle at my answer and threw a glare over my shoulder.
“So what brings here too damn early in the morning?” I asked though I had a feeling I really didn’t want to know.
Sam just gave me a look, and I knew my suspicions were right. “The guys want to know what you’re going to do,” he finally said.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I’ve had 48 hours to get used to the idea, I haven’t thought much beyond what’s going to come next.”
“That’s what I told them you’d say. I also told them to give you some time to figure everything out, but you know how they are.”
“Yea I know, throw money at my obligation and leave it at that,” I said then noticed Devi standing behind Sam, and I knew she hadn’t heard anything but what I just said. Fuck. “Devi, that’s not what I meant.”
She spun around and then I heard a door slam. “Fuck!” I yelled and glared at Sam.
“Give her a little time to cool off, you know she won’t listen until she’s ready,” said Drake. “If you need me too I will talk to her.”
“No, I’ll do it, but would you mind hanging out with Jaks? I need to go deal with Xavier and Alex, and then hopefully get her to listen,” I said, hearing my car start and squeal away from the house. “Sam, can I get a ride?”
Chapter Fourteen
I sat in Seth’s car looking over White Rock Lake, looking for some answers in the choppy waters, none came, of course. I can’t believe what an idiot I was, I knew he would end up leaving me and I had thought I would be able to handle the fall out of that, but I never expected him to also leave Jaks behind, and that’s what hurt most. Be honest, my inner voice said, so ok last night and this morning I started getting ideas of the three of us as a family. I knew it would be difficult, but if we wanted it enough I knew we could make it work, but it looks like the only one who wanted an ‘us’ was me, and that made my chest hurt more. The thought that hurt the most was that Seth thought he could throw money at his “obligation” and make it all right, just like my parents did. Well if he thought of Jaks as an obligation then he can just leave, we don’t need him, we were doing just fine without him, we can do it again.
I needed someone to talk to, but I couldn’t talk to Drake, he was there during Seth’s plan on handling his obligation and he hadn’t said a damn word. So with that thought, I pulled out my cell and called Mags.
“You slept with him,” Mags answered.
“How do you do that?” I replied wiping the tears from my eyes.
“Seth has been in town for what 72 hours, of course you’ve slept with him.”
That made me smile then I remembered why I’d called, “Yea I slept with him, and instead of enjoying the morning afterglow curled up on my couch drinking coffee and watching Jaks play on the floor, I am sipping a Latte from Starbucks sitting in Seth’s car out at White Rock.”
“Ah damn, what did the idiot do this time?”
“Uhm stood in my kitchen and told Sam and Drake that Jaks was an obligation, and you throw money at your obligations to take care of them.”
“Oh my god, he’s such a fuckwit sometimes, hold on did you say he said this to Sam and Drake?”
“Yea.”
“Honey, was he still breathing when you left?”
“Yea,” I said confused, “why?”
“Think about it, do you really see Drake standing there when someone referred to Jaks as an obligation without blood being shed. I mean I don’t typically like your brother’s hair trigger temper, but when it is in regards to you and Jaks it’s quite useful. I can’t see Sam letting Seth get away with that either, can you?”
I sat there quietly for a minute, “Shit, but it’s what he said Mags, I heard him.”
“I believe you, but maybe there was more to it, not that you shouldn’t be pissed, but knowing you, you grabbed the first set of keys you found and took off, instead of fighting about it, eventually working it out and having terrific post fight sex.”
I laughed, “Mags, is there anything other than sex on your brain?” I asked already knowing the answer is no, she’s worse than a pubescent boy.
“Uhm no, especially with a fine male specimen like Seth to have post-fight sex with.”
“Mags, he referred to Jaks as an obligation, what if that’s how he really feels?”
“Then sweetie you tell him to pack his bags and go the hell away, you two were doing fine without him,” she said echoing my own thoughts.
“Yea that’s what I thought.”
“So how was the sex?” she asked.
I giggled.
“Damn that good, huh?”
“He’s, uhm, added to his body jewelry.”
“What do you mean he’s…ah fuck.”
“Yea basically, he had a Jacobs’s Ladder done, sex with him had always been fantastic, but last night it was earth shattering. I don’t know if that’s from the piercing or just my lack of sex for the past 3 years.”
“Probably both, I still can’t understand how you went so long, I can’t make it a week without a good bout of sweaty dirty sex.”
I rolled my eyes, that’s Mags for ya, every conversation turns to sex.
“Hey I need to let you go, I left Jaks at the house with Seth and Drake. I need to call and make sure he’s ok,” I said. “You still coming over tonight?”
“Of course, I never miss margarita night, your place right?” she asked.
“Yep, see you tonight,” I said then hit the end button then called my brother.
“Hey Drake, how’s Jaks?”
“He’s good, I am at your house with him. Seth had to go take care of band business.”
“Ah, ok, well I am heading back there now, margarita nights at my place tonight. I got to get home and start getting things ready,” I said giving him fair warning.
“Really,” he said, “Who’s all coming tonight?”
I had to roll my eyes, Drake and Mags have been circling each other for years, flirting, fighting, and bitching about each other.
“The usual, Mags, Jules, Cin, and me.”
“I might have to stop by, make sure you four don’t get into any trouble.”
“Yea, that’s exactly why you’re going to crash a girls’ night,” I said. “Bye Drake, see you in a few.”
“Hey Dev, give him a chance to explain, it’s not what it sounded like,” he said.
I grunted and hung up the phone, then took off towards my house where in a few hours 3 women would descend wanting to know all the details of last night.
¯¯¯
I walked into Xavier’s with Sam and looked around, everyone was still upstairs asleep. I headed to the back room and decided to work out some of the bass riffs playing through my head. I walked over and picked up my vintage ’69 Gibson bass, one of my first purchases after we signed the record deal a beautiful 4 string done in rich Pelham blue. I turned on my amp and started to work out my riff, Sam picked up his ’53 Les Paul and started putting harmony to my bass riff. I loved working with Sam neither of us had to say anything;
we just knew what adjustments to make, about 30 minutes later Xavier wandered into the room.
“Damn, that’s sick guys,” he said.
Sam and I just kept playing. I needed to work out some demons before dealing with 2 numbskulls in my band, if I dealt with them now, Sam would probably have to drag me off them again. Xavier knew better than to expect an answer from us when we’re writing, we both zone out. A few minutes later, Alex walked in glared at me then plopped down on the couch, and picked up the Xbox controller.
About 15 minutes later I put my bass down, and looked over at Sam he was still in his zone working out a new solo lead.
“So what did you guys think was so important to send Sam and Drake over to Devi’s at 8am?” I asked.
Xavier looked over at Alex then ran his hands through his blonde hair, just as I figured Alex had talked Xavier into this. Alex just continued ignoring me and playing his Xbox.
“Well?” I said.
Alex paused the game and glared at me.
“Are you quitting?” Alex asked.
“Haven’t thought about it,” I said honestly. I hadn’t really thought about any of this yet.
“Well if you are, let us know now, we don’t have time for you to soul search,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his words.
“Ya know what Alex, fuck you, I’ve been in town 72 hours, found out I have a kid, that I have a family, I didn’t know about. I am trying to work this out in my head still, trying to get to know my kid.”
“A family now, huh that was fast work. Guess I got my answer then,” Alex said then slammed the controller down.
I flinched, “I don’t know what I have, I know what I want, and that’s a family with Devi and Jaks,” I said quietly.
“Well while you figure your shit out, we’re over here dealing with a record label that’s breathing down our god damn necks wanting the album they already paid us for,” he yelled.
“I’ve been here working, when was the last time you picked up a god damn drumstick Alex? Or what about you X, have you come up with anything lately? No, you two fucking idiots are too busy running around clubbing, drinking and hooking up with one night stands,” venom dripping from my words. “Sam and I have enough written for two fucking albums, and what we do already have fucking recorded I wrote the lyrics for and Sam lead you through the god damn songs over and over basically writing your rhythm for you.”
“Calm down Seth,” Xavier said.
“No, fuck you both, Sam and I have carried the two of you since the beginning. I have an issue that hasn’t once affected the band and yet I am being railed on, when the truth of the matter is we came back to Texas hoping you two would pull your shit together, but that’s not happening is it?” I snarled.
“Seth!” Sam barked.
“What Sam, you afraid of them knowing the truth, that you and I got yanked into the fucking studio head’s office getting our asses ripped because these two couldn’t manage to show so we could get tracks laid down?” I yelled. “Or better yet, him pulling the funding for the album if these two didn’t get out of LA and get there shit together.”
“You’re fucking lying,” snarled Alex.
“Is that true Sam?” asked Xavier.
Sam blew out a breath and glared at me. “Yes it’s true,” he said simply.
Alex glared at all of us then stormed out of the room, and the front door slammed.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Xavier whispered.
“What were we supposed to say X?” I asked.
“I don’t know, the fucking truth would have been nice.”
“We were hoping by bringing you back home, back to the people we were around when we first started that would help you two ground yourselves,” Sam said. “We hoped we wouldn’t have to say anything, and this is definitely not how we planned to go about it,“ Sam glared at me.
“How much trouble are we in?” Xavier asked.
“If we get them a finished album in four months, then none, if not they will probably drop us and ask us to cover the cost of the album and anything they paid to us for the album,” I said.
Xavier blew out a breath, “Alright, then guess we should get busy, Seth do you have any new lyrics or anything I could use as a jumping off point? I know you two have tracks laid down I’m going to go listen to them and see what I can get down today.”
“Yea I have some new stuff, it’s in my bag over there,” I said pointing at where I dropped my messenger bag earlier.
He went over and pulled out what he thought was my journal and started flipping through it. “What’s this man?”
I looked over at the page he was looking at and taped to the page was a picture of Devi with a newborn Jaks in her arms. She was wearing one of those ugly hospital gowns, her hair plastered to her head with sweat and a beautiful smile making her glow, looking down at a very tiny, very angry Jaks.
“Something Devi gave me,” I said.
Sam glanced over and started chuckling, “Damn, that boy was even born looking just like you Seth.”
I reached down and traced the tiny bundle feeling a wave of regret at all I had missed.
“Yea I guess he did, I wouldn’t know,” I said lost in the what if’s. Just then my cell chirped letting me know I had a text.
DRAKE: She’s home, she’s safe, she’s upset, give her a little time.
I let out a sigh; this was going to be a long fucking day.
Chapter Fifteen
“DEVLIN SHAYE,” Mags bellowed from the front door.
“MARGERET CLAIRE,” I yelled back.
“Where is he?” she asked when she rounded into the kitchen in a huff.
“Who,” I asked not sure who she meant.
“Well I guess I should’ve said they?” she said.
I gave her a blank look, and she sighed dramatically.
“Seth and Drake’s cars are both parked outside your house,” she said annoyed at my lack of mind reading.
“Oh that,” I shrugged. “Drake took Jaks to the park, and I took Seth’s car this morning, he hasn’t come back for it.”
In an attempt to end the conversation I flipped the switch of my blender, fixing the first of hopefully many batches of margaritas.
Mags reached around me and turned the blender back off, “You still haven’t talked to him?“
“Nope,” I switched the blender back on and turned to look at Mags.
We stood there staring at each other, neither of us willing to give in. Mags always wanted to talk everything out, whereas when I made a decision I stuck with it, only she didn’t know I had made a decision about Seth. I flipped off the blender still staring at her, she finally made a humph of defeat, “Fine, don’t talk about it.”
“Don’t talk about what?” Cin asked walking into the kitchen.
“Dev is being stubborn,” said Mags.
“Isn’t she always?” remarked Cin. “So who’s hot car is outside?”
“Seth’s,” I said.
“Ooo is the hottie here?” Cin asked. “I wouldn’t mind seeing him again, ya know get to know him a little better.”
I glared at my cousin.
“How is it you don’t know him Cin?” Mags asked hopping onto my counter and sticking her finger into the pitcher of margaritas and licking it off. “I mean with you two being related and all, you would think at some point you would have met him?”
“Ok that’s gross Mags,” Cin said and Mags just shrugged, “and I never met him because my parents thought Drake and Dev were bad influences on me and Eli.”
I had to laugh at this, if anyone was a bad influence on anyone in this room it was Cin.
“Hey, I was a good girl until you corrupted me or so my parents think,” she smirked.
“Drake tried to keep all his friends away from Cin, he was afraid she would try and seduce them all,” I said pointing at Cin, “which by the way he wasn’t wrong about.”
“Hey Drake had hot friends, hell, he still does. I met Xavier and Alex la
st night, damn where had he been hiding those two?”
“LA,” I said.
My Misery Muse Page 8