by Gloria Foxx
I was slick with moist heat set free only moments ago as Dominic established a rhythm, gliding in and out with long effortless strokes.
“Mmmm. That’s nice.” I was no longer drifting. Instead, I was here, in the moment, feeling everything. I gazed into Dominic’s eyes as the tension began to spiral within me. Like an impending storm, you know it’s coming. You can feel it. The air is charged.
My consciousness focused on him as he picked up speed. He was pounding into me. I could hear our bodies smacking together and I was with him for every stroke. I could feel him inside of me, stretching, leaving and stretching again, sliding in and out over and over. The pressure was building. It was relentless, advancing.
His thrusts were powerful, I was rising up to meet him, striving, reaching, pursuing something that seemed elusive. It was close, yet far away. It was within my grasp, but not quite.
“C’mon baby.”
Dominic dropped my legs, bracing himself on his elbows by my shoulders. He leaned down and kissed me, consuming my mouth. I could taste myself on his lips. It was strange, but not bad. Dominic smelled like me.
I wrapped my newly freed legs around his thighs, just below his butt, helping to pull me closer to him, flexing to bring us together, relaxing as we moved apart. I strained toward him with every thrust, nearing the edge.
This time there was no balancing act, no treading the edge of the abyss. I felt the edge approaching. I was on the verge and before I knew it, I was flying over it, crashing into myself, crashing into Dominic. My body went rigid, tensed for the onslaught. My internal muscles were contracting and releasing as he continued on, taking me to the limit, pushing me out into the fringes of myself.
Moisture squeezed from me. I could feel it. I could hear it has Dominic slammed onward, straining to join me. My muscles continued to clench around him, bringing him with me.
“Ahhh. Abbi! Ahh My God!”
Dominic surged over the edge too, pushing to the limits of my depths, joining me. I could feel him pulsing inside of me, throbbing. He was rigid too, straining with the effort of his last couple of strokes, before collapsing on top of me. He was heavy though comforting, binding me so I didn’t drift off or dissolve into the mist.
Reality came back slowly. First the pressure within me lessened as Dominic returned to normal, slipping from me. My breath came back, although it was hard to breathe with him on top of me. He was dead weight, but I could hear the reassuring sound of his breathing in my ear, feel the puffs of moist breath against my neck.
Dominic stirred then, rolling to his side and bringing me with him, our legs tangled. I settled into the crook of his arm, nuzzling his neck. He tipped his chin down to kiss me. It was an intimate and soul-searching kiss full of wonder and enchantment.
“Wow. That was incredible. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t experienced it myself,” he said.
“It was even better than this afternoon.”
“Better? That’s all you have to say? It was more than better. It was unbelievably amazing. Say it. Say, ‘Dominic you’re incredible.’”
I laughed and I could feel his laughter rumbling through his chest. “It was incredible.”
“That’s not right.” He was stern, but teasing so I said it
“Dominic, you’re incredible.”
We basked in the aftermath, hands stroking and toying with each other’s bodies, his sliding up under my shirt, tugging at my bra. “I can’t believe I didn’t get you naked. I love your breasts.”
“I didn’t get you naked either, but I’d like to. I like to feel your skin.”
We peeled each other’s shirts off, shifting to free our arms. He unhooked my bra, drawing it off and tossing it aside. As we settled back down, I thought about the part I didn’t tell him earlier.
“Um Dominic?”
“Yeah.” He sounded lethargic like he was drifting off to sleep.
“I didn’t tell you everything before. I wasn’t done. Are you listening?”
“Yeah.”
I forged ahead thinking it would be easier if he was dozing off. “Aunt Jane called my mom a whore long before she was raped and murdered. Actually, she called her a Jezebel, but I later learned they meant the same thing.”
“Because your mom wasn’t married to your dad?” He was paying attention.
“Nothing quite so simple. My mom and dad weren’t married, true. But they didn’t even know each other.”
“What do you mean? How are you here if they didn’t know each other?”
“My father attacked and raped my mother when she was in college. She was walking back to her room after dark when he attacked. The police never caught him and she never knew him or found out who he was.”
“That’s terrible. I feel for her and I can’t begin to understand how your aunt thought it might be her fault.”
“Aunt Jane and her friends, for all their piety, were always thrilled with salacious gossip. They liked nothing more than to judge, tearing down others with rumor and innuendo rather than fact,” I said. I’d always known that was true, but now I knew more.
“Whatever caused it, Aunt Jane’s twisted outlook prompted her to lash out and place blame where none existed. Mom was beautiful and in Aunt Jane’s ugly mind, her beauty meant it was her fault she was attacked. Then when she was raped and murdered, barely more than a handful of years later, Aunt Jane felt doubly justified in placing blame with my mother. Maybe she took a risk being out alone, but even that doesn’t make it her fault.”
“Exactly. You know, in a way I’m glad it happened so you could be with me now.”
Dominic was so sweet. I tell him I was fathered by a rapist and he doesn’t even blink. “Mom always told me she chose me. I imagine they didn’t have the morning after pill back then so her options were wait to see if she was pregnant and if so, abortion, adoption or a baby. She chose me.”
“I’m happy she did. Come here.”
We snuggled together and I felt cherished for the first time since losing my mom.
“You’ve been through a lot in only 18 years, but you can trust me. I won’t hurt you or leave you.”
I shook my head. “No. You can’t promise that. We don’t really know,” I said, denying the possibility of forever.
“I know!” He was emphatic. “I promise I won’t hurt you.” Life is good I thought as we drifted off to sleep together.
Chapter 22
Dominic was a natural at St. Joe’s. He wasn’t afraid of the tough raggedy men and women who slept on the street. He was compassionate and cheerful with the families who had lost their homes. If the smells bothered him, he never said anything and when people didn’t want to be bothered, he left them alone. Who knew such a great guy even existed, let alone was here with me.
I’m happy. The world is bright and shiny. I have to thank Joey for leading me into that bathroom so many weeks ago. Without Joey, I wouldn’t have met Dominic. He was a balm, helping to heal me, giving me confidence, and making me whole. Gone are the ugly glasses and baggy clothes. We seem to connect and share interests. I’m not sure what I do for him, but I’m pretty now. We talk easily and laugh often. All I can do is hope that I continue to be exactly what he needs.
After preparing and serving several hundred meals, we rushed back to his place to clean up for dinner with his family.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I asked. “Meeting family is usually a big thing. Just because I’m alone doesn’t mean you should bring me home to your parents.”
“I want to bring you home. We’ve known each other for weeks. I really like you and want to share my life with you. You’re coming with me and that’s final. It’ll be great. My parents are awesome.”
Dominic wore tan Dockers with a light blue shirt, navy jacket and docksiders. I wore a simple maroon dress with an exposed shiny silver zipper up the back. I added a cream colored sweater, just so it wasn’t too dressy. We looked great together.
The drive to his parents took only fif
teen minutes. They lived close, probably only thirty minutes in traffic. Their home was palatial compared to Aunt Jane’s small neighborhood house. I wondered why Dominic’s parents didn’t pay his way. It sure looks like they could.
We pulled into the drive, following the big loop past the front of the house and stopping just past the front door. We parked behind two other cars already there.
“Looks like my older brother Dave and family were here first. He’s a chronic overachiever you know. The other car is Uncle Frank and Aunt Pat. C’mon let’s go before everyone else arrives.”
There were butterflies in my stomach and I thought I might be sick, until Dominic grabbed my hand. The heat from his palm was warm and encouraging. I could do this. Heck. I’ve met people before, although usually I didn’t care so much about what they thought about me.
Dominic’s mom came bustling down the hall from the kitchen as soon as we opened the door. Her shiny eyes slid past me right to Dominic. “Oh honey. I’m so glad you’re home. Why don’t you visit more often? You know I miss you.” They hugged, Dominic picking his mother up off the floor in a bear hug.
“You know why. Now, meet my friend Abbi.” I smiled at his mom, holding my hand out. She had on a tailored dress much like mine, pumps and a frilly white apron making her otherwise fashionable dress look old fashioned and motherly. Ignoring my hand, she swept me into a hug. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve been hugged by a mom. Tears welled in my eyes at the reception.
“Oh Abbi. When I heard you were spending Thanksgiving in the dorms, I wouldn’t hear of it. Of course Dominic had to bring you home for dinner.”
“Thank you ma’am. I really appreciate it.”
“None of that ma’am business. It makes me feel old. Please call me Claire. Dominic?” she turned from me to give Dominic directions, apparently used to orchestrating the people around her. “Your dad is out getting ice. Can you go downstairs and bring up the wine while I introduce Abbi to everyone?
“Sure mom.” He winked at me. “See how she can be? Watch yourself. Before you know it she’ll have you doing her bidding and you’ll like it, without understanding when or how it happened.”
Claire took me off to meet everyone. I was happy to do this woman’s bidding. She was poised, friendly, gracious and pretty, just like I remember my mother. As Dominic predicted, when introductions were over I had a baby in my arms, keeping her occupied while her mother, Sarah, Dave’s wife, helped with dinner. I offered to help but Claire would have none of it, insisting that I was a guest.
I thought back to the greetings while I rocked the baby. Dominic’s brother Dave took my hand when we met, looking past me and saying, “Good choice Dom,” as he pulled me into a hug. His wife Sarah was sweet and welcomed me to the family. Uncle Frank and Aunt Pat teased me about setting a wedding date and Claire scolded them insisting that they try not to scare me away.
“Your father’s back with the ice,” said Claire. I looked about, unable to tell how she knew, but she was right. He came in a door off the kitchen and I recognized him immediately. Dominic’s father was Dr. Walsh. I already knew and liked him. This day was getting better and better.
When Dominic tried to introduce us, Dr. Walsh said, “Abbi and I are acquainted. We have a close friend in common.”
“Who?” said Dominic suspiciously. There seemed to be tension between him and his father.
“You know Father Jack? He’s at the Catholic Church in Paddock Creek. We went to high school together and have stayed in touch over the years. He introduced us.”
“Oh,” said Dominic, mollified. I wondered at the tension between them, but quickly forgot when Claire interrupted my thoughts.
“It’s almost time for dinner. Everyone please take a dish into the dining room. Dominic can you let Pat and Frank know we’re ready? Nate, can you carry the turkey?”
Everyone was on the move. I took the baby back to Sarah thinking Nate must be Dr. Walsh’s name. I never knew, or maybe I didn’t remember.
Dinner was riotous, with twelve people, including kids all at one table. Everyone talked, laughed and thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the company of family. They prayed before eating and took a moment to think about why they were thankful. It was a quiet moment and I was glad we didn’t go around the table giving thanks aloud. That can be so uncomfortable, especially because I was thankful for Dominic right now and I didn’t want to say that in front of his entire family.
Chapter 23
After dinner, I offered to help with dishes, but Claire declined and Sarah said, “You’re a guest. There will be plenty of time for dishes at our next family meal.”
“Hush now Sarah. This is the first time Dominic has brought a girl home. You don’t want to scare her away with talk of dishes.” Claire made me chuckle. As if dishes would scare me away from such a friendly family.
With nothing left to do, Dominic and I went for a walk. The air was crisp and cold, the sunlight fading. I didn’t have gloves so Dominic shared his. He wore the right and I the left, with our bare hands tucked together in the warmth of his jacket pocket.
We walked in silence enjoying the cold November evening, although I had to tell him. “I didn’t know Father Jack and your dad were friends.”
“Old friends I suppose, although we’re not that close because I’ve only met him a few times that I can remember. How do you know Father Jack?”
Dominic was so easy to talk to. He was interested in me, my life, my history and he made it so easy to share because he asked questions, the right questions.
“I was doing poorly in school after my mom died. The teachers insisted that Aunt Jane find me a therapist to talk to. Well, she was having none of that ‘mushy-minded therapy business,’ her words, not mine. She said I could talk to the priest and no one else, and I wasn’t allowed to ‘air our dirty laundry’ in public, meaning I couldn’t share Aunt Jane’s opinion of my mother and myself, even with Father Jack.
“We became close friends over the years. I stopped by after school on Tuesdays, until I was fifteen. Then Father Jack brought me to Dr. Walsh, I mean your dad. I didn’t want to go, but Father Jack said he’d done all he could for me and now that I was older I should see a real doctor. I thought he didn’t want to be burdened with me anymore, but he drove me here every Tuesday so we still had plenty of time together and we stayed friends.
“During the summer I’d go over to the church a couple times a week. Sometimes we talked, other times I helped him with chores, mostly weeding the vegetable garden. We were fast friends. When it came time for college, I was afraid of leaving both Father Jack and Dr. Walsh. That’s why I ended up here.”
“I figured as much. Dad has a lucrative practice helping bored middle-aged housewives with too much time and money on their hands. He claims that his ‘volunteer’ patients keep him sharp so I’m not surprised he would take you on. He prefers patients who aren’t particularly damaged, patients he can really help.”
“He’s helped me a lot in the past few years. Father Jack was a sympathetic ear and he helped me through the grief, but he wasn’t equipped to deal with my self-esteem issues or the voices Aunt Jane planted in my mind. She undermined my confidence and you dad helped with that.”
“Like me, dad believes in helping people work through their problems so they no longer need regular therapy. While we realize that’s not possible with everyone, a lot of psychologists believe in long-term therapy, constantly treating, always maintaining, never fixing much of anything.”
We were back at his parent’s house before we knew it. Dominic hugged me and we kissed on the porch like we were back in high school before going in to say good bye.
“Dominic. I need to speak with you for a moment.” It was his dad in the den to the right of the front entrance. Dominic stepped in and his dad said, “Close the door please.”
I almost wandered into the house wearing my coat, but at the last minute I thought to hang it back in the closet. I couldn’t hear anythi
ng through the door to Dr. Walsh’s den, but when I opened the closet I heard, “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” Were they talking about me?
As I looked for the hanger I had used previously, Dominic said, “You can’t tell me who I should or should not see. She’s not my patient so there’s no conflict of interest for me.”
“But she’s my patient and you’re my son so there’s a conflict of interest for me. Besides, I’m afraid that you’re attracted to her because she needs help, not because you’re really interested and I don’t think she’s ready for a serious relationship yet.”
I thought about meeting Dominic when he rescued me from Joey. I nearly fainted. Could Dr. Walsh be right? Was Dominic interested because I was needy? It didn’t seem like it, but I didn’t really know him all that well yet.
“I’m attracted to her because she’s beautiful and funny and in spite all the difficulty, heartache and uncertainty in her life, she’s managed to survive, coping virtually on her own. She’s strong and resilient, and getting stronger by the day.”
“She told me seeing you has helped her. I had no idea that it was you, but that’s dangerous providing counsel to people you’re close to. You should know better than that. You’re going to get hurt.”
“I gave her advice as a friend, the same advice I would give any of my friends. The kind of advice I would give to a friend even if I weren’t studying psychology.”
“That’s exactly what I mean. Dominic. You shouldn’t be giving her any advice. She needs professional help, not friendly advice. You have to stop seeing this girl before it get’s serious and affects your career and your life.”
I couldn’t listen to anymore. Before it gets serious? It was already serious. I closed the closet door quietly, kicked off my shoes and headed down the hall to the kitchen without making a sound.
What would Dominic do? I didn’t want him to piss off his father, but I didn’t want to break up with him either. We had to talk about this, but I wasn’t going to bring it up. I didn’t want him to know that I was eavesdropping. Besides, Dominic would pick me. He said there was something unique and momentous between us. He had to pick me.