A Fighting Chance

by Annalisa Nicole

  “I would never know the woman I love today, or have my two precious kids, if I hadn’t listened and believed in what my heart was telling me. My love for Willow was never easy, and it tore me apart to allow myself to fall in love with her with the possibility that I could lose her to cancer. But I believed and I held on tight and I never let go. There was no guarantee when I met her that I would have the rest of my life with her. In this world, there are no guarantees at all in anything. I could lose everything I have today; my company, my house, my cars, everything and I couldn’t care less, as long as I have my family.”

  He stops talking and lets out a sob. One very familiar to the one Max let out last night. His hand goes to his heart and he squeezes my hand.

  “I lost my dad last night. Aside from losing my first wife, this is the hardest fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t do it on my own. I can’t make it through this without my family. I rely on Willow and Abbey and Aaron, and my brothers and sisters to help get me through this. We all need to rely on each other to get each other, and my mother, through this. You can’t shut down on us. You can’t push the people away from you that matter the most to you. We all want to help you though this hell you’re living in. Don’t shut us out anymore.”

  He stands up, grabs both sides of my head, leans down and kisses the top of my head, then walks out the door. Then, right then, another layer chipped away.

  Max

  Standing outside the cabin with Willow, I say a silent prayer and hope I’m doing the right thing. Chloe’s built a wall so high and so thick around her to protect herself that this is the only way I can think to get to her. To get to what I know is still there. It just has to still be there. I need to tear it all down before it can all be rebuilt. I think she has this distorted thinking that all the people in her life have this easy ride while she was dealt shit. I know what’s happened to her is horrible, but she needs to be hit hard with the reality of the truth. Not one of these people has had it easy. She needs to know and she needs to realize that yes, this world is a cruel son of a bitch, but we take that bitch by the horns and we get the fuck back up.

  “You’re a good man for doing this, you know that, right?” Willow says, placing her hand on my shoulder.

  “I just hope I’m doing the right thing,” I reply.

  “You are. I know you are. I think this is the only way to reach her.”

  “How are Abbey and Aaron?” I ask changing the subject.

  Her entire face lights up, and the sweetest smile forms on her lips the instant their names are mentioned. “They’re wonderful and the absolute pride and joy of my life,” she says.

  “How are you?” she asks.

  “Me? I’m fine,” I lie. My world has been turned upside down. The woman I love is a million miles away lost in her own head, and the man that unknowingly helped guide me through a shitty childhood just died. If life throws me another sucker punch, I may be the one needing help soon.

  “I saw you come into the house last night. How are you doing with Samuel’s passing? How did you come to know the Wellingtons?” she asks ever so softly.

  “Asher and I go way back. Let’s just say my debt to him can never be fulfilled. And Samuel…was…is more of a father to me than my biological dad will ever be.”

  I hear a car coming up the dirt drive. The second group I invited up here to talk to Chloe is right on time. Amelia and Kyle step out of their car. Amelia opens the back door and unhooks a sleeping Noah from his car seat. My namesake, Noah Maxwell Peters, Kyle and Amelia named their son after me. After everything that happened with the rescue of Amelia and Chloe, Kyle and Amelia found it in their hearts to include me. They both said that without me there would never be a Noah. Damn those are some humble words to swallow.

  The three of them walk up to Willow and I. Amelia plops Noah in my arms, who is now wide awake, and asks, “How’s it going in there?”

  I haven’t spent much time with kids, especially ones this little, but he seems to fit perfectly in my arms and it seems almost natural to hold him. He just feels right, like he belongs there. This September, Noah will be turning two. I always said I never wanted kids. I never trusted myself with such a huge responsibility of raising a child. What if I turn out to be just like my dad? But for the first time holding Noah, I get this feeling that this is something I want. I don’t need to worry about becoming my dad, because I have the strength of Samuel always on my side. He will always be watching out for me, guiding me through my doubts.

  “Do you think they’re alright in there?” Willow asks. Just then the door opens. Asher looks terrible. He looks like he hasn’t slept. I hated to ask them all now, so soon after their dad’s passing to do this, but I was afraid to wait any longer. Without a word, Willow walks to her husband and wraps her arms around him. He holds on to his wife like she’s the air that he needs to take his next breath. I want that for myself. With Chloe. He releases his wife and holds out his hand for me to shake. He pulls my hand in and gives both Noah and I a hug. With a clap on the back and a kiss on his nephew’s cheek, Asher takes his wife’s hand and heads to their car. My heart screams out in pain for them. The loss of Samuel is a loss to everyone he came into contact with. He was just that kind of man that had a positive influence on everyone who knew him. No doubt they have hard times ahead of them dealing with all the funeral arrangements. I wish there was more I could do right now, but I need to be here with Chloe, to help fix what I broke.

  “You two are up,” I say to Amelia and Kyle. Amelia heads back to their car and takes out a few brown paper bags with groceries in it.

  “You’ll be alright out here by yourself with Noah?” she asks hefting the bags in her arms.

  “Sure we will. Won’t we bud? We’ll just play some hide and go seek and maybe we’ll take a short walk down to the creek and look for frogs. You’d like that wouldn’t you, Noah?” I say to Noah with a bounce making him giggle.

  Amelia and Kyle head inside holding each other’s hand. I put Noah down and chase him around the front yard for a few minutes, then scoop him up and put him on my shoulders. We walk down to the creek to search for those frogs, just like I promised.

  Chapter 8

  Chloe

  Asher left, and I can hear several people quietly talking just outside the front door. I simply had no words to say to Asher. I have never seen such a devastated man before. I knew about his first wife, Olivia, but I guess because I’ve only ever seen him as he is now, happy with a perfect wife and two gorgeous kids and a successful business, that I didn’t stop and think about the pain he must have gone through back then. I never really thought about his company and just how much work it had to have taken to became so successful. He didn’t inherit a thriving business and have a walk on roll. He built what he has on his own. He made himself what he is today through hard work and determination. He too was dealt some shitty cards along the way, but look at his life today.

  I curl back in bed, facing the wall. I hear Max’s soothing voice outside and let it wash over me. Just as I’m about to fall asleep, the door opens. I know it’s not Max. But my wonder twin powers sense Kyle as he enters the room. I barely held it together listening to Asher. I don’t know if I can take what Kyle has to say to me. I hear him take a seat in the chair that Asher sat in. I hear another person moving around in the kitchen and the rustle of bags, and things being placed on the shelves.

  “Chloe, I know you can hear me. I need to say some things to you, but I need you to really hear me. You and I both know we had an amazing childhood. We grew up with two loving parents who gave us everything we ever wanted. They would have hung the moon if we asked them to. We never wanted for anything. We had our dreams all layed out in front of us and knew what we wanted to do by the time we were seven. Going to college and medical school together wasn’t an option to us, it was a given. The day we graduated was one of the happiest days of my life. Mom and Dad gave us each our matching necklaces with the caduceus charm. I’ve never t
aken it off, ever since that day.”

  I reach for my own necklace and play with the charm between my fingers. That was one of the happiest days of my life too. I remember the picture mom took of us. We had big goofy smiles on our face and we were holding up the charms to each other. Both Kyle and I have that picture on display in our houses. I’ve never taken mine off either. Becoming a doctor with Kyle was all I ever wanted in life. My life was so simple and carefree until that one day. One blink of an eye. One moment in time, and I became a marked, damaged soul. Sounds crazy, but it could never be more true.

  “The day you went missing was the worst day of my life. I never believed the police when they said you left on your own. I knew you were upset about losing our patient and her baby. I was too. But I knew you’d never leave me without saying something to me. I always felt your heart and I swore I heard you talking to me at night when it was quiet. I used to wish the day was over so I could climb into bed and listen for your voice in the silence. So I could hear you talking to me, telling me that you were alright. God I swore they were real, that I could really hear you talking to me. My whole world fell apart, I felt like I was a lost half of a whole. Then mom and dad got divorced, and I didn’t think things could get any worse. My life seemed useless. How could I live as half of a human being?”

  A glass shatters in the kitchen after Amelia hears what Kyle said. Tears stream down my face as I hear just how much my kidnapping destroyed him. I only ever thought of myself and how terrible it was for me to be kidnapped. I never really stopped and thought about how it affected Kyle, my twin. He really is the other half of my soul. It really was me talking to him. I knew he could hear me. I just knew our wonder twin powers were real.

  “The day I met Amelia was a beacon in my dreary existence. She literally crashed into my world just when I didn’t think I could take anymore.”

  A quiet sob escapes Amelia as Kyle continues to talk. I’m so thankful for Amelia. Without her, I would never have been rescued and I would never have met Max.

  “I fell in love with Amelia, I think at first sight. She was everything I had ever dreamed of and nothing like I felt I deserved. She was my saving grace in a time when I felt like giving up. And just when I thought life had something good to offer me, she was taken from me as well. But, I didn’t crawl in a corner and shut everyone out. I didn’t give up. I was fucking mad, and I wasn’t going to stand for this to happen to me again. I wasn’t going to let the universe take someone else away from me that I loved. I fought back even harder. I need you to do that, Chloe. I need you to fight back. I need you to come back to me. I feel you slipping away. I feel that other half of my heart slipping from my fingers again. I love you, Chloe. As much as you don’t want to hear this, Max loves you too. We all do. I want my twin back. I want all of her, not this hollow, wasting away to almost nothing, ghost.”

  Yet another layer chipped away.

  Kyle stands and places his hand on my shoulder. He gives it a squeeze and kisses my hair. I hear Amelia walking over to the bed.

  “I made you a sandwich,” she says sniffling. “I’m just going to leave it here for you. I’ve told you this before. I don’t claim to know what you went through all those years. I only had a little taste of it. You saved my life. I owe you my world. I have a son because of you. You didn’t hesitate for one second when he held a gun to my head. You have nothing to be sorry for in taking his life. Do you hear me? Nothing. Believe me when I say, I know it upsets you. But if you hadn’t done what you did, he wouldn’t have wasted another second. He would have shot me in the head and killed me. Chloe, you’re my hero. And for that, I am eternally grateful to you and to Max. I need you to come back to me, to us. I love you, Chloe.”

  I hear them both walk to the door and close it behind them. I turn around and look at that sandwich, and even if I had an appetite and wanted to eat it, I don’t think it would be possible with the huge lump in my throat. I sure as hell hope there aren’t any more Wellingtons lined up to talk to me. I don’t know how much more I can take.

  I curl back in bed and stare at the sandwich glaring back at me. About thirty minutes of wrestling with myself about eating it or not eating it, the front door opens and Max comes back in. I dart my eyes away from the food and watch him move around in the kitchen as he makes his own sandwich. He really is nice to look at. He sits down at the table, facing me and never breaks eye contact as he eats. My mouth waters and damn it, I want to eat my sandwich, too. He finishes his sandwich, walks his plate to the sink, and then climbs into bed behind me. He wraps his arms securely around me and sighs.

  “Are you going to eat it, or fucking stare at it all afternoon?” he asks.

  Slowly his arm gets heavy on my waist and his breathing becomes heavy with a slight snore. Ever so gently, so I don’t disturb him, I grab the sandwich and take a bite. Oh my God. Food never tasted as good as this sandwich does right now. Max gives me a squeeze and I feel his smile on the back of my neck. Bastard.

  It’s only mid-day and I’m not quite sure what Max has in store for me for the rest of the day. He still has me wrapped securely in his arms, and I’m not sure if it’s so he makes sure I don’t go anywhere, or if he’s afraid if he lets go of me he’ll crumble into a million pieces. Max’s demeanor has totally changed. The lines in his forehead and the pain in his eyes tell me this is more than just about me. He’s devastated by Samuel’s death. He’s an emotional train wreck, and sleep is just what he needs right now. Being in Max’s arms is safe, it’s always been safe. I close my eyes and let his steady breathing lull me into my own peaceful sleep. One that’s void of demons and voices.

  I hear quiet garbled voices, and at first I start to panic that it’s him, but as I come fully awake, I recognize that it’s Max’s voice. But there’s also a woman’s voice. I don’t feel Max’s weight on me, and as I fully open my eyes and focus on Max sitting at the table with his hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. Sitting across from him is my therapist, Fiona. Max’s eyes instantly find mine and he smiles.

  “I’ll just be outside and leave you two ladies to talk,” he says, gets up and heads out the door.

  If I didn’t think he was the sweetest man on earth for all the trouble he’s going through just for me, and if I wasn’t falling back in love with him again, I think I would kill him right now. Oh, who am I kidding? I never fell out of love with him. As much as I want to fight this, and still think that this is a waste of time on everyone’s part, I sigh and haul my ass out of bed and sit at the table with her. I take a drink of coffee from Max’s cup and damn, does that taste good, too.

  Fiona and I have an hour long conversation, and I have to say I don’t remember quite why I stopped seeing her in the first place. But I can tell you it was a monumental mistake to stop. She has a way of getting in my head and pulling out the doubts and the voices that no one else can hear. She addresses each one and rationally tells me just why they are all wrong, and just what I should do with each one of them. She has a way of taking something so dark, and turning it around in a way that seems a little more manageable. She told me to take it one day at a time, to not worry about tomorrow. To look at the clock and just get myself to midnight, to not worry about what comes after that. Don’t borrow another days problems before they even happen. I can do that. I can deal with twenty-four hours at a time. Fiona leaves and I feel better about myself than I have in a long time.

  Another layer chipped away.

  Max

  For the first time since this whole thing began, I think it actually might work. I think little by little she’s starting to see the bigger picture. She’s allowing the people who love her back in. And with any amount of luck she’ll let me back in, too.

  Little does she know, but she’s only half way done with the people who I’ve lined up to talk to her. She also doesn’t know that every time I climb in bed with her, I drape my arms over her so she can feel the heavy weight of my arms on her and know that I won’t let anything get to her while sh
e sleeps. Whatever it is that haunts her in her dreams has to get through me first. She always did sleep sound in my arms, and now is no different.

  While her therapist is in the house with her, I need something to do with my hands. I have a small garage and a small shed on the property where I store all my tools and supplies. It’s been months since I’ve been in here. I unlock the padlock to the shed and swing open the two large wooden doors. Dust and dirt fly in the air as they bang into the side of the building. I’m hit with the smell of fresh cut pine, and I never realized just how much I’ve missed all of this. I enjoyed building this log cabin and all the furniture in it. I run my hand on the table saw with a smile. I grab a block of wood and some whittling tools and sit in an old chair in the corner of the shed. I don’t know what I intend on making, but my hands fly across the wood knowing just what they want me to make.

  After an hour I stop and look at what I’ve made. It’s a heart. Covering the entire surface is intricate scroll work. There are sweeping arcs and deep curves. Like the heart, I too have deep marks, and I’m not perfect, by a long shot. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love Chloe.

  I lock up the shed and head back to the house. I heard Fiona’s car leaving a few minutes ago. Chloe is sitting at the table lost in her own thoughts, good thoughts I hope.