My cheeks warmed. The city was still asleep, the morning still quiet, and I was being hurtled toward an orgasm that felt bigger than my body. But it was the dark hunger in his eyes that pulled me out of my own pleasure and made me bold.
I reached for his cock. He exhaled in a rush before thrusting into my touch. That promise of the pleasure I could give him was all I needed to keep going.
While he rubbed me toward my release, I brought him with me, circling him and stroking him from root to tip.
His flesh was throbbing, hot to the touch. We were completely focused on one another, making everything I was feeling even more intense.
I was seconds from coming and sensed he was too. I fantasized about putting him inside me bare and coming together that way.
Not yet…
I closed my eyes with that thought and tensed everywhere. I soared, completely enveloped by the intense pleasure.
My entire body felt racked by the violence of coming so hard so quickly. I caught his tense expression as my hips undulated on the wave of my fading orgasm. His fingers, slick from my arousal, came around mine, adding pressure and strength to the strokes I’d faltered on with my own release.
Only a few seconds went by before he flipped us, so I straddled him and his back was flat on the bed.
His grip tightened and sped up. “Fuck, baby, just like that.”
Strain marked his features, and his lips fell open. As his torso curled up, his cock jerked in my grasp.
His release spilled over my fingers and onto the sharply cut ridges of his abdomen.
“Wow.” With a shaky exhale, he relaxed back, eyes to the ceiling.
I smiled, sticky and equally sated. The satisfaction of inspiring that face on him landed like a cherry on the hot fudge sundae of an orgasm he’d given me.
“That officially made my day.” He grinned lazily.
I laughed and leaned down, kissing the sweet lips of that man who was winning me over, one mind-bending orgasm at a time.
I stiffened when I thought of the time. Damn it. I had to be on my way soon. I scooted off the bed.
“My shower was not built for two. You’re messier, so you can go first.”
I visited the bathroom, cleaned myself up a little, and turned the shower on to warm up for a bit. When I emerged, Darren hadn’t moved.
“It’s all yours. I’ll get some coffee going for us.”
“Thanks, red.”
I rolled my eyes. Was he ever going to give up on that moniker? Maybe the feistier side of me wanted to rile every time he said, but then I thought about what he’d said in the ocean our first night together. That I was vibrant in his mind. I’d always remember those words because I felt the same way. Darren lit up my life like no one else.
I went to the kitchen and poured a measured portion of coffee grounds into a flimsy filter. I hummed to myself, an old tune that my mom used to sing when she was in a happy mood.
The shower door shut with a thud, and I checked the time on the microwave, making sure I wasn’t going to be late for work.
I set the coffeemaker to brew and poked around the refrigerator for anything I could make. I didn’t have a lot of time, but the sexually satisfied female in me wanted to make my man some breakfast all the same. Before I could patch together a plan with the sparse contents of my kitchen, a quiet bell rang.
I glanced around. Darren’s phone was set on the coffee table. I picked it up with a plan to take it to him. Instead, I froze in place when I saw the message lighting up the screen.
Contained in the message was a selfie of a woman lying in bed, barely clothed. The sender, “Ellie,” was a beautiful brown-haired woman with bedroom eyes and enough cleavage to make me jealous. Another message quickly came in above it.
Ellie: Woke up missing you this morning. Call me soon xx
The words slammed right into me. Anger swiftly replaced all the warm fuzzy feelings I’d been enjoying seconds earlier. My jaw locked tight, and I swiped the screen. “Ellie” had texted him several times last night, inviting him to meet up at her place. His only response was that he had plans. I couldn’t stop myself from scrolling down for more. Two other texts from single-named girls that had gone unanswered. Then one that made my empty stomach roil.
Raina: Just want you to know, I have no regrets about what we did. I had an amazing time, and I know we could again. Casual and discreet. Cameron never needs to know.
The soft shuffle of Darren’s bare feet across my wood floor was barely audible over the blood pounding in my ears. I looked up, not recognizing the person in front of me. He wasn’t the man I’d slept with last night. He couldn’t possibly be the same man I was falling hopelessly in love with. How could I have been so stupid?
He frowned as I handed his phone to him, my hands shaking badly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Who is Ellie?” No amount of composure could keep the heartbreak out of my voice.
He studied the phone for a moment and then looked up, an expressionless look frozen on his face. “No one. Just a girl I used to hang out with.”
“And…Raina? Don’t you work with her?”
His jaw tightened. “Were you… Did you go through my phone?”
What I’d done wasn’t right, but I’d done it. Something inside me went cold. I moved around him, went to the bedroom, and started shuffling through clothes for work. I had no idea what I was doing, but it beat carrying out the total breakdown I wanted to have right in front of the man who was inspiring it.
“Vanessa. Baby, talk to me.”
I whipped around. “I’m not your baby. I’m not your red. I’m nothing but another name in a long line of women who obviously know you better than I do.”
“Those women mean nothing to me.”
He tossed his phone on the bed and came closer to me. Heat and anger and all the love I resented feeling for him vibrated between us.
“Nothing. Do you understand? They aren’t you.” He cupped my cheeks. His eyes said more…said things I wish he’d say out loud.
I couldn’t tell him I loved him. Not now, when I couldn’t possibly mean as much to him as he did to me. I couldn’t look any more pathetic, but I could hold onto that small piece of dignity.
“I don’t fit in your world.” I closed my eyes. “I shouldn’t have looked at your phone. That was private. I saw a message come from one of those girls, and I couldn’t stop myself. I felt…possessive, which was stupid. I obviously have no place feeling that way.”
His touch fell away. “I wish you hadn’t seen it, but in a way I’m glad you did because now I have to face something that I was hoping like hell I could avoid.”
I waited for him to tell me something terrible. As if I could feel any more insignificant or broken, I waited for the words that would surely end whatever this was between us.
“I have a colorful past. You know this. I’ve been with other women. Never anything serious. But nonetheless, some of these women I’ve been intimate with—”
“Don’t… Just…stop talking.” I winced and retreated a few feet away. “All my instincts told me this was going to happen, but whatever you do to women, Darren, you’re damn good at. Because I’m just as hopeless as the rest of them. The only difference is that I’m not going to do ‘casual and discreet’ with someone I care this much about.”
“I would never ask you to.”
“Then I suppose we’re at an impasse.” I shrugged like I didn’t care, but inside I was dying a slow death. All I could see was a future without Darren, and it was bleak. I barely knew the man, but somehow he was so far under my skin I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t have a day pass without wishing he were in it. Even as I fought for those moments, incredible moments like last night, not having any of them was an unbearable thought.
He came close again. I wrapped my arms around myself, as if that could protect me from his next words.
“You’re the only one I want to be with.”
“If that’s true,
why haven’t you told anyone?”
He exhaled sharply. “It’s complicated. I have clients. Not everyone obviously, but a lot of these people are clients who come to the gym.”
“Well, are you running a gym or a fucking escort service, Darren? I mean, why don’t you charge them for the extras while you’re at it?”
“You’re getting too emotional about this.”
I laughed because if I didn’t, I was going to break down.
“Yes, I am. For the record, this is what it looks like to care about someone you don’t want to share with the rest of the world. Take a good look, and maybe one of these days you’ll meet someone who makes you want to see only that face. Not a thousand women with bedroom eyes and cute names like Ellie.”
He grabbed his phone from the bed with a curse. “Do you want me to call her right now and explain to her in detail what my relationship with you means to me?”
“Don’t bother. You’re officially back on the market.”
I tried to move past him, but he blocked me. In the small room and with his large frame, it didn’t take much.
“Like hell I am.”
“Just go.”
“I’m not going to cheat on you, Vanessa.” He placed his hands on my arms.
The possessive touch gave weight to his words, but how could I believe him?
“That’s reassuring,” I said, unable to meet his imploring gaze. “Let me go. I need to get ready for work.”
“Let’s talk about this.”
“I don’t have time to talk to you, Darren,” I snapped. “Now, get out.”
I twisted out of his grasp, went to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I listened for him. As if I could hear his regret, his love, anything at all that might take some of this pain away. All I could hear was my heart beating angrily in my chest. All I could feel were painful wet tears stinging my eyes.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pushed off the door and turned the shower on. I stepped in and my tears disappeared, disguised under the spray of the water.
DARREN
I texted Cameron, letting him know we needed to talk. He was still at home so I walked in the direction of the brownstone he now shared with his bride. Maybe having Maya as a witness would help.
Because nothing could possibly be worse right now. I was a fucking idiot, and Maya was right. Vanessa didn’t deserve to deal with this shit. And I certainly didn’t deserve her heart. Even as I sensed her becoming mine a little more each time we were together, this morning was a classic reason why she’d been right to be guarded. But I wasn’t letting her go without a fight.
I cursed to myself as I walked, sometimes out loud, earning a few odd stares from strangers on the street. I didn’t give a shit. This morning had been amazing and a total goddamn disaster.
For all my wanting to give her the perfect night, this was where I’d landed.
I didn’t bother knocking but walked right into the apartment.
Cameron was sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand. Maya was on the couch with a book. I looked between the two of them before taking a chair across from Cam.
“I fucked Raina.”
His jaw was tense, and his gaze seemed fixed on the coffee cup in front of him. “I know.”
“She told you?”
Maya looked up from her book for a second.
“She figured it’d be better for me to hear it from her first.” Cam’s words were slow and deliberate.
I got the strong sense that he was harnessing a good amount of anger toward me. “And?”
He took a deep breath. “And she was right. Kept me from putting my fist through a wall. Not sure if she could have kept me from putting it to your face if you’d been there.”
I nodded. “I deserve that.”
“Now I need to address it with Raina.”
I drummed my fingers on the table, trying to guess how horrible that was going to be. “Maybe you should let me—”
“No way.”
“I wish we could just drop this. Pretend like nothing happened.”
“That’s obviously not working out.” Maya rose and sat down beside us at the table. “Raina had her hands all over you, so she obviously thinks whatever happened can happen again.”
“I’ll explain that I met someone. It’ll be good practice.” I stared down at my hands. They turned into balled fists when I remembered Vanessa’s devastated look when she’d read those text messages. “I’ve made a real mess of things. With Raina. And now with Vanessa…”
I shook my head and shoved my hands through my hair with a heavy sigh. I had to fix this somehow. But I had a lot of damage to repair to even come close.
“Did you tell her?” Maya’s voice was calm, infused with concern that gave me a little hope.
“I was going to. We had…” I sighed again. “We got sidetracked. I was going to try to explain things to her, but I didn’t. She saw some texts from Raina and others this morning.”
“And…”
“And I’m pretty sure she never wants to see me again. Can’t say I blame her.”
The silence that fell over the table was loud with all the things I knew they wanted to say. Didn’t matter. I was the master of my own self-loathing right now.
“I think I’m in love with her,” I muttered quietly.
When I looked up, Cameron’s eyes were wide. Maya’s were softer.
Cam blew out an audible breath. “Wow. I guess I never expected to hear that come out of your mouth.”
I stared blankly at the table. “No one’s more surprised than I am. But when am I ever going to find a girl like her again?”
“You should know, since you’ve sampled about half the available women in New York.”
“What are you going to do?” Maya asked.
“I have no idea. I don’t think she’ll see me again.”
Another minute passed before Maya spoke. “Okay. I have a plan.”
I raised my eyebrows and waited for any hope she could give me.
“Cam and I have an announcement to make, and we wanted to bring everyone together for it anyway. Let me coordinate a dinner for tonight. I’ll invite Vanessa and you, of course. I can’t guarantee anything, but at least it gets you in the same room with her.”
“She usually works late. How do we know she’ll even show?”
“We’ll do it close to her office so she won’t have an excuse.”
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. I need a chance to make this right.”
She stood again. “Don’t make me regret it.”
I nodded. Maya was giving me a chance I didn’t deserve.
Chapter Thirteen
VANESSA
I arrived at the office of Reilly Donovan Capital with three minutes to spare. I was usually early to work. Despite the hellish morning I’d had, I was grateful to at least be on time this morning. I wasn’t sure I could deal with Reilly’s wrath if I hadn’t been. I smoothed my hands down my black pants and straightened my blouse so the wide scoop centered on my chest.
The door was dark and imposing, its facade made of an ornately carved wood that seemed to belong in an older structure, like an early bank. I pushed it open and entered the reception area. Maroon walls were decorated sparsely with gold-leaf-framed artwork. Even the paintings seemed dark.
I approached one of two desks that faced one another. A woman my age, maybe a little older, lifted her head. She had big brown eyes, and her dark hair was short and curled against her scalp.
“Hi, you must be Vanessa.” She rose and shook my hand.
“That’s me.” I lifted my shoulders, unable to shake the first-day jitters, even knowing I’d be providing much of the same support to David as I had before. Her friendly countenance was a reassuring start.
“I’m Adriana, Bill Donovan’s assistant. They’re on a call right now, but I can show you around and give you the lay of the land.”
“That would be great.”
She spent the next ten minutes guiding me through the various rooms. The conference room was occupied for their call, but both David and Bill’s offices were as lavish as one would expect—dark polished surfaces, expensive liquors nearby, and views to the street below. If I had a million dollars or more to invest, perhaps all of those details and the scary bank door would give me a measure of comfort.
Near the entryway, Adriana guided us back to our desks. Mine was already nearly obscured with stacks of paperwork. My head started spinning as I began mentally organizing it all.
“Looks like I’d better get to work.”
She nodded. “I’ll let you get situated, and we can go over whatever questions you have. I have a system, but since we’re starting new with this venture, I’d like to get your input too so we can stay efficient.”
“Sounds great.”
I powered on my computer and started sorting through the paperwork on my desk. I threw myself into every task, for once welcoming the distraction of the thousand things I needed to do today. My appetite had vanished, so I worked through lunch, not pausing until Reilly called me into his office hours later.
“In my office now, please.”
I scrambled for my notebook. Something was definitely wrong. I closed the door to his office and settled into a chair across from his desk. “Is everything okay?”
He slumped into his swivel chair. “My grandmother passed away a few days ago.”
Only then did I notice the tired look in his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“I have to go up to the Hamptons for her funeral.”
“Of course. I’ll hold things down here. Whatever you need.”
He shook his head and fumbled through the papers on his desk, seeming distracted. “No. I need you there with me.”
Into the Fire (Bridge Book 2) Page 14