For a minute, I sensed something a little desperate in his voice, but quickly the hard-faced Reilly I knew too well met my concerned stare.
“There are some things that need to be taken care of at the summer house up there anyway.”
The last thing I really wanted was to head out of town with Reilly, but my job was hardly on solid ground with this transition.
“Of course. I’ll make travel arrangements.”
“Good. No need for a hotel. We’ll stay at the summer house.”
I nodded and stood to leave.
“And a coffee, please.”
“Sure.”
In the office’s little kitchenette, I prepped a fresh brew and brought him a cup. When I set his mug down, his hand grazed mine. I froze.
“Thank you…for everything.” He looked up at me with those gray eyes that I’d grown to dread.
“You’re welcome,” I answered quietly.
He moved his hand away, and I left without another word.
Reilly had left the office earlier than usual, allowing me to do the same. Maya had insisted I make dinner with her and Cameron tonight. I was curious what her big announcement could be. I took the empty seat next to Eli. I hadn’t seen him since his sleepover with Taylor last night and was surprised that he was solo again so soon.
“Where’s the boy?”
“He’s on a flight to Dubai. Photographing cityscapes.” He sighed, and a faraway look touched his eyes. “Probably getting screwed by some beautiful sheik.”
“You’re letting your imagination run away a bit, I think.”
He twirled his straw around in his drink. “Maybe I am. Would help if he stayed in town long enough to make me believe he cared.”
“Have you told him how you feel?”
I was one to talk. I’d fully admitted to myself that I loved Darren but couldn’t get the words out. Not that any of that mattered now. I shoved the feeling back down, but every time I imagined Darren’s gorgeous face, it reared back up again, dominating the forefront of my mind. The amazing things he’d said to me the last time we were together. The way he seemed completely overwhelmed by our connection in the same way I did.
I loved Darren. And I hated that I did.
Eli shook his head, and a lock of his black bangs swept into his eyes. “I’m sticking with passive-aggressive and hoping he sees the error of his ways.”
“You’re not happy, Eli. You need to either tell him you need a commitment or move on. I don’t like seeing you this way.”
He shot me a sidelong glance. “You giving relationship advice now?”
“I’m not an expert, but I’m your friend. I want to see you happy. You deserve that.”
“Thanks. Unfortunately, he’s the only one I want right now. I just don’t know how happy that’s going to make me in the long run.”
I took the glass of wine the waiter delivered graciously.
“I know the feeling,” I muttered and took a healthy gulp that I nearly choked on.
Darren took that moment to drop into the only empty seat at the table. Of course Cam and Maya would invite him. He was family and Cam’s best friend.
And as long as I was friends with Maya, I’d have to tolerate being in his presence from time to time. The thought was unbearable. One look at him, and I was a tornado of memories and regret, of remembered passion and fresh shame for giving him so much of myself. A known player. A man who’d never let a woman tie him down. I swallowed hard and let the waiter take my dinner order. I wouldn’t be able to get anything down. I’d been sustaining myself on coffee all day and still had no interest in food. Not when I was sitting this close to Darren.
Leaving wasn’t an option. I couldn’t do that to Maya. I didn’t want to be rude, but avoiding Darren’s stare was becoming a losing occupation. I retrieved my phone from my purse and quietly loaded up new messages in my e-mail. I scanned through everything. Then a text came in from an unknown number. New York.
You’re beautiful.
I frowned and texted back.
Who is this?
I waited, wondering if I should be engaging in text messages from an unknown number. Maybe this person was a total creep. Or a wrong number.
The guy at the table who can’t take his eyes off of you.
I reread the text when the meaning dawned on me. I glanced up quickly, just as Darren lifted his gaze from his phone. I averted my eyes quickly, not at all ready for extended eye contact with the man who’d had me in tears all morning. I hesitated over what to say next. If anything. He hadn’t reached out to me all day, but maybe this was why.
New number?
His reply came quickly.
Got it this morning. Time for a fresh start.
I went back to my e-mail and tried to focus on the mental checklist I was making for tomorrow’s trip. Another text came in.
Give me another chance. Please.
Just then, Maya spoke up. “Okay, everyone. Thank you all so much for coming. We lured you here with the promise of a big announcement. So without further ado, Cameron and I wanted to share with you that we’re having a”—she grinned broadly and looked to Cameron—“boy.”
The smile that spread across Cameron’s face was pure joy.
Darren whooped, Eli and Olivia clapped, and I gave Maya a hug so tight she could probably scarcely breathe.
“Congratulations, Maya. I’m so incredibly happy for you both.”
As I said the words, fresh tears hit my eyes. Out of nowhere. Damn. I was letting my personal problems leak all over Maya’s beautiful news.
“Are you okay?” She held my hand, her expression tight with concern.
“Yes. I’m sorry. It’s nothing.” I wiped stupidly at my eyes, hating myself. “I’m going to get some air. I’ll be right back.”
I left the table quickly and walked a few paces past the entrance of the restaurant where no one was lingering or smoking. The night air felt cool on my skin and stung my tired eyes. Tomorrow would be better. I hadn’t had twenty-four hours to get Darren even a little bit out of my system. No wonder I was a wreck.
“Vanessa.”
I heard his voice, and my heart twisted painfully in my chest. I felt it in my gut where I’d lodged all my anger toward him. Then in my eyes where I’d tried to cry it all out. I closed my eyes, praying that he’d leave me be.
“Vanessa, look at me.”
His voice was barely a whisper and his tender touch on my cheek sent a fresh wave of almost tears to my eyes.
“Why are you doing this to me?” I didn’t recognize my own voice. It wasn’t strong and angry the way I wanted it to be.
One look into his brown eyes, seeing my own hurt reflected there, gutted me.
“Because I can’t help you’re the one I want. You’re trying to come up with any reason to derail us. But I won’t let you. I want this to work, damn it.”
“I’m afraid it won’t. I’m in so deep with you already. I’m falling for you, and I can’t seem to stop it unless I believe the worst.”
He came closer. I was trapped between his body and the building.
“You’re falling, Vanessa. I’ve fallen too. I’m in deep. You had every right to be pissed at me over those texts. I never promised to be perfect because I’m far from it. But I promise to be loyal. You need to believe that.”
“You’ve been with so many other women. Why would you change anything for me?”
“Every day you give me another reason. You’re real. You don’t play stupid games. You call me out on my shit. You may want me, but you don’t need me.”
“That’s not true.” I did need Darren. So much it frightened me.
“I know I don’t deserve someone like you. But that doesn’t change the way I want you.”
I weakened against the building. “What do you expect me to do?”
“I expect you to kick me to the fucking curb the way you did this morning. But I can’t give up that easily. Despite what you may think, I’ve been loyal to y
ou. I can’t even look at other women, let alone consider being with them. The way I feel when I’m with you…” He closed his eyes a moment before opening them again. “I want to be a better man. You make me want to be a better man. Someone who deserves someone like you. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can.”
My walls broke down more with every word. I couldn’t deny wanting to give him another chance. “I don’t want to be your dirty little secret.”
“You aren’t. I can’t promise that my past won’t come back to haunt me at times, and it may hurt you. For that, I’m sorry, because I can’t change my past and the choices I’ve already made. But I’ll deal with those situations as they arise. I made my bed. I knew one day that mixing leisure with work was going to catch up with me. I think Cameron knew it all along too. Now that he knows the worst of it, I feel like I can deal with everyone else.”
“You told him?”
“Kind of.”
“What about Raina?”
“I talked to her this morning after I left your apartment. She knows I’m seeing someone. And everyone else is going to be texting the wrong number for a while. Doesn’t solve everything, but hopefully it means that nothing like this morning ever happens again. I don’t think I could live with myself if I saw that look on your face again.”
I swallowed, reliving that terrible moment for about the hundredth time today. “I was devastated.”
“I know you were. I hate myself for putting you through that.”
“You have to know that I always want to give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“I know.” His eyes glittered under the streetlights. “Hey, want to go inside and I can announce to the whole restaurant that you’re my girlfriend? That you decided to forgive my douchebag behavior because you can’t deny how crazy I am for you?”
I laughed despite a little part of me wanting to stay mad. “Don’t do that.”
He slid his finger down my nose. “Either that or I could just tattoo your name on my ass.”
The heavy weight that I’d walked around with all day slowly began to lift and I smiled. “You’re crazy.”
“You make me that way, Vanessa,” he whispered.
Then he kissed me—a soft soulful kiss, like the first note of a slow song. The world went still save the wild beating of my heart. It was just us. I wrapped my arms around him, rose on my toes as he embraced me. The kiss deepened until, breathless, we broke apart.
We weren’t exactly making a scene, but another few minutes and we easily could be. He feathered his lips over mine, restraint evident in his features.
“Come home with me.”
I would have said yes in an instant. Because I couldn’t manage to say no to Darren. But I also was in no position to say no to my employer.
“I can’t. I’m traveling tomorrow. I won’t be back for a couple days.”
His dark eyebrows knit together. “Where are you going?”
“I have to go to the Hamptons. My boss’s grandmother died unexpectedly, but we still have to work. So he’s bringing me with him.”
He rested his forehead against mine. “This isn’t going to be easy, is it?”
“Nothing worth fighting for ever is.”
“I’ll always fight for you.”
Chapter Fourteen
VANESSA
A driver picked us up at the jet way in East Hampton. I was even less thrilled about taking this trip than I was yesterday. We were scheduled to go to London next month, Hong Kong the month after, so travel with Reilly was going to be a part of my future. Like it or not.
Unfortunately, Darren was the only one on my mind. Every minute of the day I carried a bit of him around with me in my thoughts. The way I melted into his arms last night. The way he could make me laugh and send a long hard day away after a few minutes in his presence.
The town car brought us to Reilly’s summer cottage, which was far from rustic. We pulled up the long driveway to an expansive home with cedar shingles. Inside, tones of seaside blue and earthy browns set the tone of the decor against bright whites—trim, furniture, and linen. Top to bottom, the place was reminiscent of the few glossy VIP publications I’d seen from time to time that celebrated the homes and social lives of the elite society that could use “summer” as a verb. For the rest of us, summer meant a few trips to the beach, sunning on someone’s rooftop deck, or trying to stay cool in the unbearable city heat. Reilly and his family lived in a different world.
He dropped his keys onto the table in the foyer and shrugged off his suit coat. “I’ll be leaving for the service in an hour. I’ll be in my office in the meantime if you need me. There are several bedrooms. Pick whichever one suits you.” He gestured to the stairs.
“Thank you.”
He disappeared into the ground floor office, closing the pocket doors behind him.
I brought my bag upstairs and poked around. To think this place was just sitting here, waiting for summer. Every room was perfection, like an unmade bed that was begging to be jumped on. I found the master and briefly admired its view of the ocean. Figuring I’d leave that room to Reilly, I picked a room two doors down that featured a less impressive view, but one that still put my apartment view of my neighbor’s fire escape to shame.
A light rain had begun, and gray fog hovered over the rocky ocean waters. Perfect day for a funeral, though the patrons of said event might disagree.
I opened my laptop and worked through the afternoon. I started to get hungry for dinner and meandered downstairs. As I did, the front door opened and the sound of rain filled the large foyer, soft behind the loud noises of people’s voices.
I followed the noise and found Reilly, smiling ear to ear, beside three others. One I recognized immediately as his ex-wife, Cheryl. The others were men his age, dressed in suits.
“Vanessa. You’re here.” Reilly turned his broad smile to me, a sight so rare I was immediately caught off guard. “Bring us some wine. The cellar is that way, through the kitchen.” He pointed behind me.
I moved quickly in that direction. Cheryl’s footsteps clicked on the marble floors. I paused at the stairway as she approached. She moved easily in her tall heels, her body outlined in a tight black paneled dress.
She smiled when our eyes met. “Come on. I’ll help.”
Together we perused the dozens of bottles lining the cellar wall. I lifted out a bottle that looked dusty enough to be good, but truthfully, I had no idea what was what. “How about this?”
She wrinkled her nose and motioned for me to put it back.
“No, no. Let me see if I can find something special for today to honor David’s nonna.” She scanned the rows of wines, pulling out a bottle here and there. “It’s been ages since I’ve been down here. Oh, here. Lafite. He’s drunk enough to let us drink this one, I think. Let’s try it out.”
She led us to the nearby bar and took two delicate bulbous glasses off a rack behind.
“So…Vanessa.”
The way she said my name gave me pause. Maybe she didn’t remember me.
“We’ve met before. Briefly at the company party last year.”
She laughed softly and popped the cork from the pricey bottle. “Trust me, I’d remember a beautiful young woman working long hours next to my husband.”
I swallowed. “Ex.”
She smiled, with no hint of malice in it, and lifted her glass. “Cheers to that, darling.”
I clinked glasses with her, feeling a little guilty as I did. What it would be like to be free of a man like Reilly, to be able to start over, to start fresh? She had done it. Of course, she was starting over with the benefit of a fair portion of their wealth in her bank account. Rich people problems.
I took a sip of the wine. It was so smooth. Wine would never be the same for me after this. “This is exceptional.”
“David only ever wants the best.” Swallowing another mouthful of the delicious nectar, she stared at me over the rim of her glass.
Funny that Reilly
so rarely spoke of her. She was stunning. Of average height, but full and thin in all the right places. Dirty-blond locks curved into a long bob at her shoulders. Her dark blue eyes seemed to see right through me—a feature that no doubt came in handy when maneuvering the intense social waters of New York’s mega-rich.
“I guess we should go up.” I stood awkwardly, hoping we could get back upstairs soon, though Reilly seemed like he’d already had one too many. I’d never really seen him drunk before, and I wasn’t really sure how we, or I, were going to deal with that.
Cheryl spun her wine glass by the base. “I’m not in a rush. This is a happy accident anyway. I wanted a chance to get to know you a little better.”
“Oh… I’m just his assistant.”
“You’re the one he left me for. I suppose I’m curious, that’s all.”
I coughed and set my glass down, peering at her with wide eyes. “What?”
She lifted her eyebrows, looking genuinely amused.
“Maybe I should have worded that differently.” She sighed and looked wistful for a moment. “I suppose technically I left him, but David would be furious if the world knew that. That was part of the agreement after all. Sometimes reputation management is more important than money. Thank God for that. So let the record state that we parted amicably, and mutually. Between us, I told him I wanted to move on.” She shrugged and paused to sip again at her wine. “I didn’t have anyone else exactly, but I’d had enough being married to a shadow, you know? He was either gone or perpetually unhappy. What’s the point in having all this money if you’re miserable all the time?”
Better to be rich and miserable than poor and miserable, I thought, but I kept it to myself. None of that explained why the hell she thought Reilly would leave her for me.
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you two. I still don’t understand what any of that has to do with me, though.”
Into the Fire (Bridge Book 2) Page 15