The Hot Corner
Page 15
“He wants me.”
“Well, of course he does.”
I shook my head. “I don’t mean in that way, although that’s true, too. He wants to start over, I guess. Try it again. Go out and see what we are now. He said he’s never had a relationship since me.”
“And do you want to start over?”
“I don’t know. A part of me does and another part of me is afraid to trust him again. He’s been with a lot of women, Mom. A lot of beautiful, perfect women I couldn’t even remotely compare to.”
“Now you just stop that train of thought right now, missy. You’re just as beautiful, if not more so. And as you pointed out, he hasn’t committed to any of those women. You’re the one he dated for two years. You’re the one he wants to date now. That should tell you something.”
“Maybe he’s mixing up the past and the present, just like I am.”
“Maybe he is. Maybe you both need to take some time and get to know who you are now, together and apart. Then you’ll see if you want to move ahead.”
“But how can I? I still don’t know if . . .” I closed my eyes. “I’m starting to wonder if I got it wrong seven years ago.”
She was silent.
“Mom?”
“What did I tell you at the time, honey?”
“You said Brad loved me, and he wouldn’t do what I accused him of doing, and I needed to ask him what really happened. But I couldn’t because I didn’t want to hear him say it again, that he loved someone else. That he loved Bailey.”
“Well, can you ask him now?”
That was the million-dollar question. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to know the answer. Either it’s true and he’s a jerk and then I shouldn’t be with him now, or it’s not true and I robbed us of seven years of our life together. He may never forgive me for that, and I don’t know if I’m ready to risk him knowing.”
“You’re many things, Dani, but I never thought a coward was one of them.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I gasped. “Mom!”
“It was understandable for you to run back then. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. You’d just suffered your first heartbreak, you were young and immature. You’re none of those things now. There’s no excuse for you not to face what happened. You both need to if you’re going to move forward. Do you want to move forward with him?”
I squinted and wiped the tears away. “I don’t know. I don’t think it matters.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t think I’m capable of stopping myself from being with him. He gets to me like nobody else ever has.”
“I know. I always loved how you two could push each other’s buttons. I have to admit, I’ve missed my little firecracker.”
I frowned and pulled at a loose thread on the cheap sofa. “What are you talking about?”
“You know what I mean. You’ve always been quick to fire, with a temper like mine. I haven’t seen that in ages. You’ve become very controlled. It used to drive me nuts, the way that ex-fiancé of yours talked down to you and you let him. That meek thing wasn’t the girl I raised.”
“I wasn’t meek.”
“You let him parade you around like a show pony without saying a word. What would you call it?”
“Damn, why don’t you tell me what you really think? I’m a meek coward. Anything else you’d like to get off your chest?” I was sorry I’d called her. So much for the sweet comfort and gentle guidance I’d been seeking.
“You’re neither, deep down inside. I just want to see the real you again, baby. I love you and I want you to be happy. You haven’t been in a long time.”
My shoulders slumped. “Why does everybody keep saying that? I haven’t been unhappy. I’ve been content.”
“You’ve been bored. Tell me that isn’t true.”
I wanted to, but she was right. “So?”
“So are you bored now?”
I sighed. “No. Honestly, the last thing I could ever be around him is bored.”
“Good.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side? What kind of mother are you?”
She laughed. “I am on your side, baby. This is the first time since college that you’ve called me to vent about a boy. And it’s the same boy, which means he matters. Do you love him?”
“No. I don’t know him. I did love him. I loved him so much it shattered me when it ended.”
“And you’re afraid he could shatter you again.”
I shivered. “I know he could.”
“Good. That’s the kind of relationship I want for you, honey. One that matters so much it would wreck you if it ended.”
“I don’t know if I could survive it again.”
“You can and you will. You’re made of strong stock, Danielle. You’re my daughter.”
“I don’t feel that strong, not when I’m around him and he’s tempting me.”
Mom snickered. “Well, giving in to temptation can be lots of fun. Do you want him?”
“Physically, yes. But I don’t want the player he’s been since we broke up. But I tell myself that and then I’m around him and I forget myself.”
“It’s about time you forgot yourself!”
“Mom.” I threw my hands up.
“Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you that you should do what feels right. You have to stop looking for the old Brad or judging the one you think you know, and get to know who he is now. And show him who you are, too.”
“Apparently now I’m controlled and cowardly.”
“No, that’s who you were with Jason. When Brad says something you don’t like, what do you do?”
“Yell at him.”
She laughed. “That’s my girl.”
“But I am scared, so I’m a coward.”
“You’re only a coward if you run away from him and the book and go back home. You’re not going to run, are you?”
“No.”
“That’s what I needed to hear. As to the rest? Wait and see. If you’re not ready to talk about what happened in Omaha, then don’t. See what’s there between you now and then deal with it if you both decide you want a future. If you were right and can get beyond what happened, then so can he if you were wrong.”
“That makes sense. Thanks, Mom.”
“Anytime, sweet girl. I’m here if you need me. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
We disconnected, and I flipped on the television. Brad’s game was just starting and, sure enough, the camera was on him as they came out of commercial. I watched as he threw a smooth practice ball to first, and my heart flipped when he grinned at something the shortstop said. Yes, I was in trouble, but Mom was right. I had to deal with it or I’d live with regret for the rest of my life. Seven years had been long enough.
Chapter 18
It was silly to be nervous. I’d known the man for almost a decade and I knew every inch of his body. We’d been out countless times before, this was no different. It was just a date. No big deal. So why did it feel like my palms were sweating and my heart was going to leap out of my chest?
Nothing had changed, but it felt like everything had. True to his word, Brad had called me every night and we’d laughed and argued and flirted our way through each conversation. And maybe once or twice we’d gotten down and dirty.
Was I dressed casual enough? He said to dress like I was going to a fair, so I was wearing jeans and a button-down green blouse that matched his eyes. Maybe I should change. A T-shirt and shorts might be better for the weather. Was he taking me to a fair? Why was this so difficult?
Before I could change, there was a knock on my door. It looked like I was stuck. How should I greet him? With a kiss? A hug? A smile? It was official, I hated dating. It was too complicated. I pulled open the door and planted a smile on my face similar to a maniacal clown grin. Oh, God, I hoped we weren’t going to a fair. I hated clowns.
“Hey, Red.” Brad’s s
mile wasn’t remotely clownish. No, it was gorgeous, with shiny white teeth and perfect lips. “These are for you.” I tore my gaze away from his face and focused on the yellow flowers he held in his hands.
“Daffodils?” He’d never gotten me those before. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”
“According to the florist, they mean new beginnings. I thought it was fitting.”
I was overwhelmed already and we hadn’t even stepped out of the doorway yet. I took the flowers and turned toward the miniature hotel kitchen. “Let me put these in some water.” I emptied the ice bucket and filled it with the flowers. Brad laughed, and I couldn’t help laughing with him.
“I should have thought of a vase.”
I smiled as I arranged my pretty yellow flowers. “I think it has a certain something just like this. I like it.”
“Me, too. You look great, Dani.”
He was in jeans and a dark blue T-shirt. “You do, too. Are we going to a fair? Because you know I don’t like—”
“Heights,” he said, grinning. “No, I’m not taking you to a fair, although I’d like to get you on a Ferris wheel again someday.”
“Bastard! That was the worst.” We’d been up so high, and he’d delighted in shaking the car to make me scream and hold on to him for dear life.
“I don’t remember it being the worst. I remember you practically crawling into my lap. Plus, I employed my special distraction techniques, and then you had a fine time.”
His method of distraction had been to kiss me until I was dizzy from him instead of the height. I supposed I wouldn’t mind a repeat performance if given the chance, but I’d still rather stay away from roller coasters.
“You might have made up for terrorizing me,” I said, and he laughed again.
He took my hand and brushed his lips against my knuckles. “Please, forgive me.” His warm voice and sparkling eyes were irresistible.
“You were forgiven long ago.” At least, for that. “Now, where are you taking me?”
He linked his fingers with mine and grinned. “That’s for me to know and you to find out. Come on, Red. We’ve got a lot of fun ahead of us.”
No amount of pestering would crack him. He just smiled and shrugged as he navigated the streets of Los Angeles. Despite my having no idea where we were going, the sun was shining, he had the whole day off, and I was having fun.
“Tell me it’s not a baseball game,” I said.
He laughed. “Hey, I thought you loved baseball.”
I pursed my lips as if I had to think about it, and he poked me in the side.
“It’s okay, I suppose,” I said. “But I’m already baseballed out and we’re only ten games into the season. Football is much more exciting. Every game means something.”
Brad snorted as he made a left turn. “Don’t think I don’t know where you got your pen name, woman. You realize your football crush is both retired and married.”
I felt my cheeks heating. “Yeah, well, so what? It’s a fake name.” It wasn’t like I could have used Reynolds. Though I’d doodled that a hell of a lot more than Young.
“Baseball is a thinking man’s sport. I would imagine you’d appreciate the physics, the gamesmanship involved.”
I tilted down my sunglasses and gave him a baleful look. “In what world would you ever think I’d appreciate physics? You had to help me with those stupid science classes I took.”
“Ah, I love science. Chemistry, biology . . .” His voice caressed the words as he stroked my hand with his thumb. “We were both good at those.”
Goose bumps were rising on my flesh where he was touching me. “I don’t think our versions of those were what my professors were looking for.”
“But it was fun.”
His smirk didn’t annoy me this time. “Yes, it was.”
“I’d be happy to help you with those again.”
“I’m sure you would, but we’re not in school anymore.”
“I beg to differ. I’m about to school you in a major way.” He parked the car with a flourish and turned to me with a big grin. “We’re here.”
I’d been so focused on Brad that I hadn’t noticed where we were going. A laugh bubbled out of me as I took in the scene. “Miniature golf? I haven’t played that in years.” Not since the last time Brad had taken me.
“Me neither.” There was something in his voice that made me wonder if that had been the last time he’d played, too.
“If I recall correctly,” I said, “I beat you.” That was a lie. I’d never beaten him, but I’d gotten close.
He shook his head as he pushed open his door. “I know you’re getting older, Red, but I didn’t think your memory would be going already.” Before I could smack him, he was out of his seat and headed around to open my door.
“I have a very good memory, I’ll have you know.”
He took my hand and helped me out, not releasing me as he shut the door and pulled us toward the entrance. “You have a selective memory if you think you ever beat me. I wonder if they have the anthill hole here.” His smile made it obvious that he knew they did and he was delighted by it.
“Ass.”
He made a big show of looking behind us. “I do have a fine one, I must admit.” I would have smacked said fine ass, but he had my hand in his and I didn’t want to let go. “Don’t worry, I like yours, too.”
I rolled my eyes, not that he could see them behind my shades. “I wasn’t remotely worried.”
“You should be. It might distract you and make you lose.”
“You can try.” Two could play that game.
Brad hip-checked me. “Don’t be ridiculous. Go pick out your ball.”
Well, I’d tried. There were golf balls in every color, and I picked purple. “Still your favorite color, I see,” Brad said. He grabbed a bright blue ball and we stepped onto the course. “Ladies first.”
I lined up my ball and managed to knock it through the windmill in one try. Brad grinned. “You might have gotten better at this.”
“Just natural talent.”
He laughed as his ball followed the same path mine did. When we walked around to the green, his was closest to the hole. “I think you knocked mine out of the way,” I said.
“Tough titties,” he said, knocking his in for a two. I managed to do the same, despite his making a big show of stretching, his T-shirt pulling tight across his chest. It was distracting, but I was a woman on a mission. When he turned toward the next hole, I flipped open a button on my shirt.
“Since we tied,” he said, “why don’t you go—” His eyes bulged as he got a look down my shirt. “Forget what I said in the car. Golf is clearly the best sport in the world.”
I laughed, triumphant, and lined up my shot while he ogled me.
“I don’t remember you stooping to this level when we used to golf,” he said.
Silly man. “No, all I did was rub against you at any opportunity, and to pout and ask you how to putt so you’d put your arms around me and I could press my butt back against you and get you all worked up.”
Brad grinned. “I liked that technique. Do you need a putting refresher?”
“You wish,” I said, wiggling my hips for effect as I took my swing.
“More than you know.” His hands were on my hips and his lips were at my ear. He nipped my lobe gently, and I was grateful he was holding on to me because I might have hit the turf if he hadn’t been. I had no idea where my ball had gone and could only hope I hadn’t launched it onto another hole.
“You cheated,” I managed to say as I turned in his arms. He kept his hands at my waist and smiled.
“I can’t help it if you’re easily distracted. Plus, I haven’t touched you in a week. I had to rectify that.”
“You haven’t kissed me either.” He was so close and he was sexy and I wanted him.
“I did so. I kissed your knuckles.”
I pouted. “That’s not the same.”
“Maybe I was waiting for you to kiss
me. You didn’t use to be shy about it.”
I wasn’t an idiot. I could hear the challenge in his voice. Before I could talk myself out of it, my hands were in his hair and my lips were on his. Heat that didn’t have anything to do with the sunshine blasted through me as he pulled me against him, his hands gripping my ass. I forgot everything except the feel of his lips and his hands and that hard body pressed against mine.
When we broke apart we were both gasping for air, though Brad managed to grin even as he caught his breath. “It’s a damn good thing this place is almost empty during school hours.”
He had a point. I hadn’t even thought of all the young minds we could be soiling with our too-hot-for-mini-golf display. “You made me forget where we were.”
Brad laughed and held me in a hug. “Can you forget again?”
I wanted nothing more, but I pushed away. “Ask me when we’re not in broad daylight. Where did my ball go?”
“They’re right here.” He gestured toward his crotch, and I held my putter like a baseball bat. His jaw dropped. “Never mind. I think it’s over there.” I looked where he pointed and saw my ball sitting on hole nine, when we were only on hole two.
“I get a do-over. You cheated.”
“It wasn’t cheating. It was distracting. Had you been fully focused, you never would have pulled the ball.”
I rolled my eyes. “Do I get another shot or not?”
“Sure, if you want to take a two-stroke penalty.”
He knew I hated to lose. We both did. “Are you really doing this?”
“It appears so.” Brad thrust out his chin. Well, we’d see who was smug at the end of the game.
“All right, but don’t say you weren’t warned.” I strolled over to my ball, prepared to take a shot across the path and get back on the green.
“What does that mean?” he called, looking wary. Good.
“You’ll see.” I knocked my ball and somehow managed to get it back to the second hole, ending up with a three on that round. Brad got another two and had the lead. For now. When he started to take his shot, I grabbed his dick and he missed the ball completely.