Breaking Bad: 14 Tales of Lawless Love

by Koko Brown

  He sighed heavily into the phone. "Fine. Fine. You're right. I'll have it to you in twenty minutes."

  "Great. You'll do great."

  While he was filming, I was spinning. With Danny's help, we were able to secure space for his video on virtually every shitty platform out there and all the social media sites. When Jack sent me the video, I shot it off to Danny and Bobby and crossed my fingers.

  He didn't go into too much detail, but he looked heartfelt. He said exactly what I needed him to say and vowed that he wanted to be a role model for the troubled youth out there who didn't think the world could give them a second chance. Nice touch.

  Within an hour, Bobby left me a voicemail saying that his phone had been ringing off the hook for exclusives. Jack was even trending online as #SecondChanceSteele. It worked.

  Holy shit. It worked!

  Maybe one day, as a thanks, he could tell me what actually happened all those years ago. Until then, I’d be content to know that if I ever wanted to change careers to Public Relations, I could kick ass at it.

  Right now, I felt like I could kick ass at anything.

  NINE

  JACK

  The chase was going longer than planned. Apparently, encouraging Alison to grab my throbbing member, as it were, in my trailer and then having her step up and clear my name with the press was a double-whammy of bullshit that created walls the size of Antarctica between us. Almost as frigid, too.

  Thing was, I saw how she looked at me when she didn’t think I was looking. I was the king of watching people when they thought I wasn’t watching. It was way less creepy than it sounded. The lip biting, the hooded eyes, the smile she seemed to have only for me when I was on set…I saw all of it. And still, I couldn’t get any closer to her.

  I’d fucked up bad. Normally, I would have put her past me and kept going for the next easy target, but she was haunting me. There was a confidence to her, a fire that burned so hot and strong I couldn’t help but be drawn to it. She made me laugh constantly and I was always trying to act cool around her. Forever on my toes. And still, walls.

  But today I was going to tear that shit down. Sarah had mentioned a few weeks ago that Alison’s birthday was coming up and she was disappointed she had to be on set all day for it. That seemed to be a recurring theme: Alison wasn’t supposed to be here, she was working insane hours to balance casting for other productions and keeping an eye on me, et cetera et cetera. That probably had something to do with the walls. Where I was hoping it’d be a sexy gig, she found it to be more stress at work.

  I knew this because Sarah and Lena told me. Lena was my ‘in’ with females in general but Sarah was my ‘in’ with Alison. They both took a vested interest in seeing us hook up and both agreed our lack of boot-knocking was firmly my fault. Oops.

  It was time to crack open the old playbook and unleash something truly great for her. I had to prove I was interested, that I cared, that I was more to her than just some job that was dragging her down. Also, I had to prove I was worth fucking, apparently.

  “You guys are all alike.” Lena rolled her eyes. “Everything is about sex. What about the foreplay? What about buttering us up? You can’t just shove it in there.”

  “You don’t even sleep with dicks.”

  “I sleep with dildos and it’s the same damn concept.” Lena was nursing a large mug of coffee while Sarah did her makeup for the day. “I know you aren’t used to people telling you ‘no’, big boy, but you gotta learn a little romance.”

  “I can be romantic.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “What did you have in mind?” Sarah asked. I liked Sarah. She was less abrasive.

  “I was thinking a surprise party for her on her birthday, after we wrap for the day. Balloons, cake, food, the whole nine yards. Maybe even a little music? I talked to Edward and he says he can set the system up to make it like a club in here: music, lights, everything. Think she’ll like it?”

  Lena took a sip and shrugged. “Not bad.”

  “Stay still.” Sarah tapped her on the nose with a makeup brush. “That would be really sweet, actually. It shows you care, that you went out of your way to do all this for her.”

  “Would it be too much to hide in a cake, naked?”

  “Yes,” they both said at once.

  “You guys are no fun.” I omitted the biggest part of my plan in case I couldn’t pull it off. Normally, I wouldn’t think twice, but this required a little more finesse. And a whole fuckload of favors called in. “I’m going to ask her to dance tonight, something sweet. I’ll show her my softer side. You’ll see.”

  “Believe it when I see it,” Lena scoffed. “But I’m wishing you all the luck, Big Sexy.”

  “That’s all I need.”

  For the next several days, Sarah helped me get everything ready—her favorite taco bar catered in, her favorite music for the playlist thanks to an embarrassing amount of time spent trolling her Spotify account, and even getting the props department to rig up some decorations and a set-up for the biggest surprise of all. I spread the word like wildfire and threatened anyone who breathed a word of this to Alison.

  The day of her birthday flew by. I was so anxious I kept flubbing lines and filming took a little longer than planned, but we finally managed to get everything together. Sarah was responsible for bringing the lady of the hour in.

  “Shit, shit, Alison, you need to get here fast. Jack is about to lose it on set. Denver can’t control him! Yeah, I’ll do what I can. Get here fast!” Sarah yelled into the phone and then hung up. “We have ten minutes, max.”

  I ran to the green room, where my biggest surprise was waiting. “You good, bro?”

  “Hell yeah, man. Let’s do this.” He high-fived me and I ran back out to the middle of the set to start yelling.

  “This is all bullshit! Do you know who I am? Do you know what I could do to this place?” I hollered and threw as big a fit as I could. Honestly? I was channeling Josh the day I set his ass straight a few weeks back. Eventually, I heard the click of heels as someone came sprinting down the hall.

  “Jack!” Alison, to her credit, did not sound like she wanted to murder me. But she didn’t sound happy, either. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when all the lights came on. “Jack! What are you—”

  “SURPRISE!” The entire set lit up with lights, streamers, and music, and every member of the cast and crew jumped out to hug Alison.

  But I got to her first. I bear hugged her and spun her around. “What, did you really think I’d lose my cool after everything you’ve done for me?”

  She looked totally shell-shocked and more beautiful than ever. She was totally speechless for a full two minutes while everyone hugged her and wished her happy birthday.

  “You’re amazing!” Alison finally managed, squeezing Sarah. “The best friend ever.”

  “Uh-uh.” Sarah pointed to me. “This was all him.”

  Her jaw dropped. “You?”

  I shrugged, hands open wide. “I figured, after everything, I kind of owed you big time.”

  “Kind of?” She tried to scowl, but fell into a smile. “I can’t believe you did this for me.”

  Everything I wanted to say to her, about how I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how she was the driving force behind me wanting to get my shit together, died in my throat. So many people were around and I didn’t want to embarrass her. So, instead, I took her to the center of the room and whispered, “Close your eyes.”

  Alison looked apprehensive, but did it anyway. “When can I open them?”

  “You’ll know when.”

  She bit her bottom lip while standing there, the thing that drove me absolutely wild. I had to shake it off and run back to grab my birthday gift to her. Adam Levine fist-bumped me as his band ran off ahead.

  “We cool now?”

  “Hell yeah, man,” I said. “You killed it.”

  “You better get laid for this tonight.” He shot me a wink before running up on the
small stage erected in the middle of the room, just in front of Alison.

  The opening chords of This Love played and Alison’s entire demeanor changed. That girl looked like she’d died, gone to heaven, resurrected herself, and died all over again. I sat back and just watched her, this shining angel who swooped into my life and shook it up like it was child’s play. This girl who found my flirting offensive and made me reconsider anything I’d ever said. This girl who gave an ex-con like me a chance.

  I tried all night to get close to her but it was clear Alison was well-loved in the studio. There was a flock of people everywhere she went. Let’s not forget my boy Levine who spent a fair amount of time buttering her up after Maroon5’s twenty minute set, too.

  “I thought you were going to go talk to her!” Lena nudged me. “This was your big chance!”

  “Nah.” I waved her off and drowned my punch. “She needs to have her moment. Mine will come in time.”

  Lena side-eyed me. “Who are you and what have you done with Jack Steele?”

  “What? I’m serious.”

  “So am I.”

  I scowled at her and she scowled back. I rolled my eyes. “Look, I just realized that… you know… I really like her. In a different way. It’s pretty clear that being regular Jack Steele The Asshole isn’t her flavor, so I want to give her something she wants.”

  “It can’t last if you’re not yourself.”

  “But you know that asshole isn’t me. That’s who everyone wants me to be, and I’m an actor, Lena. I give the people what they want.”

  “That’s not what she wants.”

  I shook my head and watched Alison flutter around the room. She was dancing with her friends, much more family-friendly than the night we met at the club, but we caught eyes for a moment and she smiled at me. A real, genuine smile. A smile of thanks. She bit her lip again before turning away and something shot straight through my chest when she did.

  “She’s special, Lena. I can’t explain it, but she is. She hasn’t given up on me. She’s like you… but into dudes.”

  “Says you,” Lena teased. “I’m proud of you, Big Sexy. You’ll win the girl yet if you are honest with yourself and with her. And maybe stop being a dick.”

  The party carried on for another hour. The margarita machine was a huge hit and was left just as empty as it came. Birthday Girl had quite a few and was running around, screaming, “It’s my mother fucking birthday!” to everyone she came across.

  “Want to dance?” I asked, when it was my turn to get an earful about it being her birthday.

  She looked up at me so sweetly and ran a finger down my chest. “You’re so sweet.”

  I closed my hand over hers to stop her from going any further, even though my pants were tight and my heart hammered in my chest from the closeness of her. She smelled like a bottle of Cuervo. “Are you okay, Alison?”

  “Mm-hmm.” She nodded, and then abruptly shook her head. “Nope.”

  “I’ll take her.” Sarah swooped in out of nowhere. “I think it’s time to get her home. Can you help me get her to the car?”

  I carried Alison out to the parking lot, which caused her to giggle and holler about her knight in shining armor. I just laughed it off and buckled her in the front passenger seat of Sarah’s car. “Will she be all right?”

  “Fine.” Sarah rolled her eyes at Alison’s antics. “I’ve seen her worse. I’m sorry you didn’t get your dance, though.”

  Alison blew me a kiss through the window. This was pretty damn close to what I wanted… except she was drunk. They may say alcohol brings out the truth in people, but it also turns a blind eye to everything else that isn’t carnal. Would she be frosty with me tomorrow? Hard to say.

  “She had fun and that’s all that matters.”

  “I hope she comes around soon.” Sarah flashed me a smile and drove off.

  TEN

  ALISON

  “You haven’t talked to him at all?” Sarah stared at me like I had three heads. “He pulled together an entire party, including your celebrity boyfriend making an appearance, and you haven’t even said thank you?”

  “I’ve been so busy!” I felt terrible, truly. My birthday party was one I would probably never forget. I mean, Maroon5 was there. Singing to me. As a private gig. The cost of that alone was enough to make me want to vomit. Why did Jack go through all that trouble just for me? I’d shut down every advance he’d made for the sake of professionalism. I’d turned into a freaking popsicle every time he flirted with me to make it clear I was not someone he was going to fuck and run away from. My momma did not raise me that way and I sure as hell wasn’t about to start. “Besides, I sent him a thank you text….?”

  Sarah nearly dropped her mascara wand and gaped at me.

  “That’s really bad, isn’t it?” I added hastily.

  “Terrible.”

  I took a bite of the bagel I’d grabbed from the hospitality table and groaned. “I’m the worst.”

  “Yes. Yes, you are.” Sarah finished her makeup and sat in her chair. “I know how you can thank him.”

  “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “You know you want to.”

  “I know he doesn’t get involved in relationships.”

  “Did I say buy a dog together? No. I said thank him. Two totally different things, Alison.”

  I dropped into the chair next to her. “You know why I won’t.”

  “Yes.” She nodded empathetically. “And I get it. But I think he’s really into you. None of this hit it and quit it nonsense AMZ likes to pitch. Think about the Levine, Alison. Would he really go through all those hoops to land that guy just so he can fuck you once? No. That says serious.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Maybe nothing. Where are you going?”

  I pointed to the set. “Um, to work? Welcome to our jobs. We do this every day. Auditions finished for the week with Christina, so I’m able to be here all day. Why are you looking at me like that?”

  Sarah hesitated. “Did you check the scene list for the day?”

  I shook my head. “Why?”

  “It’s The Big Day.”

  My stomach fell to my knees. Of course. Just last night, Denver had been up here for hours, setting up cameras for the big sex scene between Jack and Lena, when I called him last night. How had I just forgotten that?

  “Cool.” I forced a smile.

  “Alison…”

  “What? Listen, it’s no big deal. First of all, it’s all totally fake. Secondly, Lena is a lesbian, so it’s not like she’s going to be seriously into it past what’s needed for the film. And finally, we aren’t an item, so it doesn’t really matter.”

  “Alison.”

  “Are you going to come watch?”

  Sarah poked out her lower lip. “Denver always keeps it a closed set on Sex Day. We’re going to be hanging out behind the wall to listen.”

  “I’ll take a mental picture for you.” I winked at her and went to join Denver behind the camera.

  Lena and Jack were already positioned in the bed, listening intently to Denver going over the blocking, so I pulled up a chair next to the monitors for a closer look. These racy days were ones that everyone looked forward to, maybe not the actors involved so much, but it was a treat for everyone else.

  It struck me how comfortable Jack and Lena were with each other. In the framed shot, just listening to Denver, they looked so… content. Like they’d done this before. Probably had, right? Sex and Hollywood were pretty synonymous.

  Denver hurried back to his seat and nodded hello to me before making a few notes and yelling, “Action!”

  Their chemistry was immediate. Watching Jack in the flesh was almost otherworldly. He’d done plenty of scenes like this in several movies, but to see it in person? To see the way he arched his back or to hear his grunts without the smoothed audio? The thoughts pouring through my head were entirely too private and definitely not safe for work.

  He was an animal, primal a
nd dominating, but also tender. The way he looked at Lena, the way he kissed her lips and her collarbone, was so full of passion that it unlocked something deep inside me that began to frantically claw its way up, seething and ripping into my bones.

  I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to rip him off her and dig my nails into her smooth skin. I wanted to mar her in such a way that Jack would never be able to look so tenderly at her ever again. The faintest, tiniest voice in my head cried out, “Stop this madness! Lena doesn’t even like guys!” but it was squelched with an intense roll of jealousy that almost knocked me sideways.

  “Cut!” Denver broke my thoughts and hopped out of his chair to start repositioning cameras.

  My chest felt heavy watching them, blushing and giggling in the nude. Lena was beautiful: blonde, thin, busty, great mouth. She was edgy and dangerous and had a mouth that made everyone either blush or cheer. She was gritty but kind. I was nothing like her. She was everything a guy like him wanted and I was nothing. All those times he came on to me and I shot him down…for what? Because I was too good for him? Because I was scared?

  “You okay?” Denver settled next to me with his notepad. “You look ill.”

  “No, actually.” I took a shaky breath but my heart didn’t still. “I’m going to get some water.”

  “Does someone need to go with you? You look like you’re going to faint.”

  I managed to shake my head and stumbled out of the curtained-off area. I grabbed a bottle of water from the hospitality table and tried to purge my thoughts as I walked, but I couldn’t. All I could picture was Jack fucking Lena. The way his body moved, the intensity in his face. This was all make-believe and yet I couldn’t get the train of anguish to stop tearing through my mind.

  Somehow, I ended up at his trailer. It wasn’t intentional. I wanted to get far away, away from the set and from Jack. I should have stayed home today, slept for hours and hours while I could. Coming up here was stupid. Getting jealous while he did his job was stupid, and I didn’t care.