by Koko Brown
I was about to answer until I remembered what Curtis said. So, I turned and asked Destini.
“The nurse was scheduled to come at seven the day after tomorrow. She is asking if you mind going into the hospital then instead. To make sure they can get everything at the same time.” I tried my damnest to keep the demand out of my tone.
Her eyes met mine and then she answered, “I'll go to the hospital. They get things done faster when you're there.”
“We’re going to the hospital. What time should we be there?” I directed those words to the waiting nurse on the phone.
“The same time works great,” she said cheerfully.
We hung up the phone and when I turned again, Mama had already grabbed Destini to show her something. My instincts told me to go get her because I wanted her to be near me but that wasn’t the deal.
After working up an appetite, I left to get platters from Senora Vargas. When I returned, Destini had her coat on and ready to leave with mama.
“We’re leaving?” I asked them.
“We were just going to head over to the casino on the other side of the river and check it out.” Mama answered.
“Destini hasn’t eaten yet, and then, we’re going to go do that. She needs to keep her strength.” I explained unnecessarily.
“We’ll eat,” Mama narrowed her eyes on me. “I know she needs to eat.”
“I have her dinner, right here.” I countered in a stand-off with my mama.
“Uh, I’m right here and capable of making my own decisions,” Destini entered the conversation after watching us go back and forth.
Mama and I both swiveled our heads towards her to see which one’s she would choose.
“This is so not awkward,” she tried to joke but neither of us laughed. “Fine, I’ll go with Mama because once we scope this place out, then we can plan tomorrow instead of planning the next day. And, Diego, you already know we don’t have a lot of time.”
Fuck.
“I’ll eat what you bought,” she walked towards me with a smile. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m fine.”
“For now,” I said, almost sounding like a doubting parent. “Fine. Take them both. For you and mama.”
Then, I walked off and heard mama say, “He’s a good boy. He’ll get over it.”
Right.
FIVE
DESTINI
The rabbit hole continued to get deeper and deeper. In essence, Diego had kidnapped me in another way.
Emotionally.
I knew he wanted something, but I wasn’t sure what that something was. He made it seem so simple, but I’d learned the hard way. Many, many times. It was never that simple, and there was always a catch. As my friend said a long time ago, they always want something.
Therefore, my motto was this, I had nothing to lose. Only six months until my early death and then whatever his form of torture could spring up on me, it’d be over or I’d hear from Claire about a possible donor and be just fine. He was introducing me to his family, got me a place to stay, in Cuba of all places, and gave me some nice clothes. I might as well help them get a casino and make myself useful.
Especially, since having a panic attack when I was trying to go back to New York disrupted everything. I was dying, what the hell was there to panic about? I’d come to terms with that while being locked away in Diego’s studio basement. I wouldn’t see my thirtieth birthday and I was alright with that now. I’d made my peace with God and any man that I’d care enough to give a damn.
“You know, Destini,” Mama said as we drove through the city on the way back from the casino. “My boy likes you. He don’t know it yet, but he does.”
I almost choked with laughter. Parents were always looking out for their kids and trying to hook them up, but I would only be here for six months. That wasn’t a wise move.
“No, I don’t think so,” I laughed as respectfully as I could.
“Don’t worry. You don’t know it either, but you’ll break his heart and then he’ll learn.” She said as if it was a regular statement.
“Excuse me?” I said. “I won’t…”
“You’re dying, dear. He’s already fond of you and that could be in a non-romantic way, which I doubt.” She sighed. “You’re not going to be around long, and he’s going to take that hard. So, yeah. You’ll break his heart, but it’s okay. He’ll have experienced real love, and it’ll be clean.”
Arguing with the woman and her preposterous claims was not wise, but why my heart felt like it was broken still remained a mystery. He didn’t look at me like that, I could tell. It might have been charity or even guilt because he ruined my chances but that’s about it. I stayed because I needed to and no other reason.
Mama dropped me off at my place, but I decided to go and knock on Diego’s door since his light was illuminating behind the curtains.
He answered the door in some shorts, no shirt, and only one side of his body could be seen. There was sweat all over his body and his chest was glistening from perspiration under the fine hairs that covered the hard exterior.
“Hey,” he said breathlessly and as if he was trying to hide something.
Oh shit!
He probably had someone with him.
“Oh,” I jumped back. “Just wanted to tell you that I was back. Have a good evening.”
“Yeah, you don’t need to do that.” He nodded. “Check in with me. You’re free to go and come as you please.”
Okay.
“Yeah, I know but …” I started to explain but stopped myself. “Night.”
“Night,” he nodded and closed the door.
Damn.
I guess he was still mad about earlier or I was interrupting him and his friend. The last one gave me a slight ping to my heart even though I knew it was dumb. It reminded me of what his mother said. A tiny piece of me wished her words had contained an ounce of fact.
It wasn’t and it couldn’t be anyway.
The next morning, I didn’t bother to eat breakfast with him, I simply called mama, and she picked me up on our way to the offices to map out the plan. She wanted to start her own casino business and or get into the management of it. I knew how they worked because after my parents were no longer with me, my grandma would take me to the casino every weekend. Between her and Keith, they taught me everything. That’s how I knew how to read numbers and more importantly, tell when somebody else was doing it. I’d run many of scams to survive, but this was an opportunity for me to build. When life was so close to ending, those were the things you thought about.
Legacy.
As we walked through our initial plans, I learned that mama was mama for a reason. The woman ran a tight ship, had four sons , one daughter and I’d only met one of them. Another one I saw from a distance, but he was leading a class and I had to leave. Therefore, when a handsome man came into the studio, leaned down, and kissed his mother on both cheeks, my heart nearly stopped.
“Ahh, my manners. Destini, this is my second oldest son, Sebastian. Seb, this is Destini, and she’ll be helping me around here for a little.” Mama informed the gorgeous specimen standing in front of me.
“Help?” He exclaimed, “When do you need help? Not that I don’t mind watching a pretty woman like this. Destini, huh?”
Mama swatted at him and said, “Not this one, your brother, Diego.”
She tilted her head and murmured something in Spanish about posesión.
“Ahh,” he nodded. “Nice to meet you Destini.”
“You as well.” I smiled back at him.
He nodded to his mom with many unspoken words and left the office. She turned back around and continued to work on our blueprint, but I said, “You do know that he’s not interested in me, right? Your son, Diego.”
“Destini,” she gave me the look like I should believe her because she knows best.
“I'm telling you,” I persisted. “Just last night, I think he had a guest over. See. Not interested.”
The woman’s e
yes grew before mine, and she started rapidly speaking tons of Spanish. I didn't catch much of it but idiot boy I understood.
“It's fine, as you said, it would be foolish to be with someone in my situation. The last thing I'd want to do is break his heart. And that mama, that would happen.” My eyes landed on hers as I semi-admitted that I'd be more than interested, but I had accepted my plight in life.
“If you don't break it, I'm going to.” The fierce woman stood up and left the room.
I wasn't quite sure why she was so disturbed by this news, but I just wanted to clear her mind that his heart wouldn’t be broken. Not by me anyway.
As the day progressed, another brother came in, and I swear their father must have been a super model because every one of them looked good enough to eat.
“Hi, I'm Destini. I'm here helping your mom.” I greeted him first because he had been over there talking to his sister, who clearly didn't like me. I’m sure she had her reasons, but as long as she kept her distance, we’d be good.
“Destini, so good to meet you. Heard you were a sight for sore eyes.” He smiled, and I would have sworn my heart warmed over a bit. “I'm Ian.”
“I'm the sight?” I found myself saying.
He laughed and his mannerisms reminded me of Diego.
“You're definitely the sight. So, you're helping mama. How can I help you?” He was flirting.
“You can't.” A harsh but familiar voice cut in.
Our heads swirled around to see an angry Diego glaring at his brother.
“Hermano,” Ian greeted him. “What's happening man? Haven't seen you around.”
Diego looked ready to murder but what he didn't do was address his brother.
“A word,” he turned his head towards me. “Now!”
“Uh,” I really didn't know what to say. “Okay.”
As soon as I stood up, his hand clasped with mine, and he moved us out of the office. There was an eruption of laughter as we passed by everyone.
“Diego, you're walking to fast.” I told him as we brisked across the studio floor.
Before I could exhale my last breath, he swooped me up in his arms.
“Diego,” I called but that didn't deter him in the least bit.
We moved towards that closet of an office on the side wall away from the dance floor.
“What's wrong?” I asked once we reached the inside of the room.
Diego gently placed me on the chair and went to sit behind the desk. His nostrils were flared, complexion was darker than normal, and his body was tight with tension.
“When I brought you here, it was not to stir up the rumor mill about my life.” Diego said this through what seemed to be clenched teeth. “My life is my fucking business. I didn't bring you here to tell my mother my whereabouts and who I'm fucking or who I'm not. Where do you get off telling her some shit like that?”
If I wasn't as dark as I was, I'm sure my cheeks would have been rosy from embarrassment or just red from hot anger.
Who the fuck did he think he was talking to?
Not me.
“Wait one goddamn minute! I didn't tell your mother a goddamn thing. I don't know who you’re fucking, and I don't give a rat's ass for that matter." I spat.
"Funny, you seem awfully chatty with her to the point that she’s telling me to keep my company to myself.” His eyes were like to blazing fireballs.
“What!” I went to stand up. “I did no such thing. She made a comment about you and me, and I reassured her that wasn’t the case. Then, I gave her a case and point about why this was not and could never be true.”
He followed my actions again and said, “What the fuck are you talking about? Comments about me and you.”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter. Okay?” I held up my hand. “But, I didn’t report anything back to your mother. And, I don’t know what type of fucked-up shit you’re talking about but don’t ever come at me like that. One word and I’ll knock myself out and get on a fucking plane. I don’t need this shit.”
I walked my ass out of his office and continued to do what I was doing. Where he got off talking to me like that or insinuating that I was reporting back? And Mama, what the hell did she say to him? This whole thing was starting to freak me out.
When the groups started to come in for the lessons, I knew it was time for me to go. As I started packing up my stuff, Diego appeared in the doorway.
“Ready?” He asked.
His face was impassive as always, and there was nothing to be read about how he was feeling, except him asking me if I was ready in the most sterile way there was.
“No, I’m going to do one of those activities that’s on my itinerary. Thanks, though.” I replied.
“Which one?” He asked.
I didn’t want to tell him, but as much as I wanted to be mad at the man, I was here on his dime and able to do anything because of him.
“The waterfall.” I answered.
“Okay, let’s go.” He responded.
“It’s okay. I called the car service already. They should be here any minute.” I happily informed him.
The man looked at me, quirked up his lip, and said, “I am the car service.”
What in the actual hell?
“Diego,” I hissed and plopped down in my chair. “I can’t. This is like some twilight zone shit.”
My head fell into my hands as I tried to deep breath and tried to catch up with what the fuck was going on. I knew I was out of the states, but the Salazars were very Americanized. They all spoke English, slang and knew more than enough to be sarcastic as hell. Diego killed a man in cold blood three times and didn’t bat an eye. He’d held me hostage for days. Then gave me my own place.
I was in the twilight zone.
I must have still been muttering my twilight zone explanation when I felt a presence grow close to me.
“You’re not in the twilight zone.” His voice was so close that I felt his warm breath on my arms.
When I looked up, Diego was kneeling down in front of me on one knee. The man was super close and his cologne was assaulting my nostrils. It was probably just his presence alone, but he pulled on my wrist so that he could hold my hand.
“Destini,” he said in a low voice. “Curtis tells me I can be uh, intense.”
“Really?” I smirked at him. “You think?”
“I don’t think I’m intense, this is me. You’re getting to know me, but this is just me. I have a lot of shit on my plate, everything means something, and I like to make sure things are done the right way. I trust very little people outside of my family, and now, you’re here. I’m trying. You have months to live and I…” Diego trailed off.
“You what?” I prompted.
“I want you to live life before you go and while you can. Just in case.” He said simply. “That was the only reason for the itinerary. I’m the car service because you’re mine, so I didn’t want to put you off on my brothers or mama. I brought you back here despite you being an outsider, so I’m responsible for you.”
His words jolted me quite a bit but two in particular made me go still.
You’re mine.
The truth was I never belonged to anyone. Never wanted to but belonging to Diego, even as a sickly charity case, seems insulting, but it was the best I’d been treated in my life. I’d given up on asking God why I was so young and dying. I’d stopped trying to get healers to heal me and as for the hospital room in Cuba, I’d decided to wait on Claire to find a new donor. I was done and would start to feel the results of my impeding death probably in a few months and unable to move my last two. Honestly, I didn’t even know at this point. I just knew that I’d seen enough doctors to know that it was coming. Yet, this one man. He just said I was his.
“Diego, I’ve never belonged to anyone in my life, and I almost want to be insulted that you have taken me on as a dying charity case. Almost. Yet, I’m not sure what I’d do without you at this point. I don’t like the way you talk to me. Actually, yo
u don’t talk. You just tell me and give me no choices with the illusion of them being choices but that’s your way. And… I’m not in a position to argue with you, so whatever you want. Let’s do it.”
I tried to pull my hand out of his hold, but he didn’t let me.
“No, Destini,” he replied. “That’s not what I want.”
It was his turn to put his head down, but before he could speak again, I interrupted him.
“Let’s go. The tour begins soon.”
I stood up but Diego remained on one knee for a beat, looking up at me with conflicted eyes. The shadows that passed over him were hard, but he didn’t hide them from me. He finally came to his feet, grabbed my hand, and we left for the waterfalls.
The view was amazing at the El Nicho waterfalls. A sheen covered us as we stood over the reservoir staring at the rainbow that formed across the cloud of mist from the rush of the water. A hand reached for mine, and I looked at Diego to see that his eyes were on the water but his fingers were wrapped around mine.
God, the man was making me feel all types of ways.
“Diego,” I decided that clarity was best in my last months of life. I shook my hand and asked, “What is this?”
He shook his head and spoke without looking at me.
“Mi alma,” the man sighed.
“What?” I asked.
He sat down on the bench behind us and pulled me on top of his lap.
“What haven’t you ever done? What do you want to do?” He rushed. “Tell me and we’ll do it.”
Wait, what?
“Deigo, what is this?” I asked again. “What’s happening?”
His eyes bore into me and he said, “This is me making sure you live your life to the fullest. With everything.”
“Why?”
“Because I can.” His face didn’t change. “Now, tell me.”
The man was crazy as fuck but whatever.
“Well, let’s see,” I relaxed on his lap. “I’ve never been in a hot air balloon, canoeing, or horseback riding. Those are things I wanted to do but always thought I could do it later.”