“That’s all? She understood what had happened to you, didn’t she?”
Lilly nodded, the tears silently spilling down her cheeks.
“And she never spoke of it?”
“Not that morning. She sent Felicia back to my room later to tell me to put on my old dress, and do what I was told, and that I was not to ‘fraternize’ with any man while at church.”
“Please tell me she didn’t blame you for what happened.”
“She did. I didn’t realize it at the time, but…she did. At the church, I was terrified. I saw Theodore sitting a few pews ahead of us. I spent the whole service looking down at my lap, to avoid seeing him. Afterward, I followed my family as they filed out into the narthex of the church, when I felt a hand grab my arm. Before I could utter more than a squeak, I was pulled into an alcove, then dragged into a supply closet with a hand over my mouth. It was Theodore. Somehow he’d circled around in front of us, so he could pull me aside. He had his hand over my mouth, and told me not to make a sound. I was afraid it would happen all over again—and in the church, again, of all places—but he only kept his hand on my mouth.”
Jake’s whole body went tense, but he said nothing.
“He told me again that I’d better not tell anyone. I was to pretend that nothing had happened, and I should be waiting for him the following Friday, as usual, for him to pick me up. The devious man thought he could actually continue to court me! He would send me a new dress, to make up for the old one. He touched my cheek and told me to make sure I looked enticing, and to wear my best pantaloons.”
Lilly stopped, and she saw from the look on Jake’s face that he understood what Theodore had meant—he had intended to see her unclothed.
“He left me alone, then, and I was shaking so much, I could barely stand. Felicia found me and led me out of the closet before Mother could accuse me of planning a clandestine meeting.
“That afternoon, Mother and Father asked to speak to me in the dining room. Father confronted me on my ‘behavior’. He said I’d put the entire family’s reputation at risk, and that he had no choice. He would have to pay Theodore Bennett a visit and insist he marry me, since Theodore had allowed himself to ‘fall victim’ to my wiles.”
“You’re joking!” Jake stood, almost vibrating with anger. “The man was a monster, and your father blamed you?”
“I’m not sure if he really believed that, but regardless, he blamed me for putting myself into a compromising position, and probably felt that he couldn’t risk blaming Theodore for the situation, without risking his business connections. Not to mention that if Theodore refused to marry me, our whole family would be publicly shamed, if word got out.”
“What did you say?”
“I steadfastly refused, much to Father’s chagrin. He ranted and raved—so much so that eventually Adam clued in as to what was going on, and he joined in on the tirade, furious on Father’s behalf. Poor Felicia was dragged into the argument, though she pleaded not to be a part of the discussion. She has always been obedient to Father and Mother, so being forced to choose sides was incredibly stressful to her. She knew the truth—she’d seen my condition the first night—but our parents were insisting that she join in their condemnation of my stubborn refusal to obey. She wouldn’t though—but she also couldn’t speak up for me. She only remained silent, and miserable.
“From then on, for my disobedience, I was not allowed to go anywhere or see anyone without a chaperone, and I could not be courted by anyone or see my friends. If Adam was forced into the position of chaperone, he berated me under his breath for the entire time we were gone from the house. It got to the point that I wouldn’t leave the house unless it was Felicia who escorted me—so I rarely left, because I felt it was unfair for my punishment to impinge her freedom, plus I worried that Theodore might try to follow us. I was forced to go to church, and Theodore tried to get me alone every chance he got, but Felicia clung to my arm and refused to leave my side even for an instant. I thought about running away—but where would I go? And what would happen if Theodore tracked me down?
“It was Felicia who saw Mrs. Gardner’s advertisement in the newspaper, and suggested I consider becoming a mail order bride. It seemed like the answer to my prayers—and by then, I was sure I was not with child. Or so I had thought. So I interviewed with Mrs. Gardner, and chose your application out of a file of bachelor applications. She showed me the letters you had sent in advance—it was lucky that you had decided to send so many, because it made the choice to marry you a very quick and easy one. I could never have stayed at home, under those conditions, and take six months to let you court me through the mail. I was desperate and afraid, because it was all coming to a head.”
“Why, what happened?”
“My parents were exerting more pressure on me. Though Mother was relieved that I didn’t appear to be expecting, nonetheless, they couldn’t try to pawn me off on another bachelor, and risk that the Bennetts might reveal my shame. And Father still hoped to gain the business advantages of his daughter marrying a Bennett.”
“Then I’m very glad I was spurned by so many women before you.” He sat beside her again and touched her cheek, rubbing a thumb over the scratch from the flying china shard the night before. “It was well worth it, to find you.”
“I was so happy when you asked me to marry you, especially so quickly. You have been my savior. I have no doubt my parents would have eventually found some way to force me to marry him. They are very persuasive.”
“I’m glad you withstood their threats. I cannot imagine a father treating his daughter so—much less, a mother.”
“I can tell you, I was heartbroken. We were never very affectionate, my parents and I, but I loved them, and I thought…I thought they loved me. Yet, if you love someone, how can you condemn that person to a life of misery, all for the sake of business—of money? Who would trade their child for money?” Her voice broke, and Jake took her into his arms.
“You are worth more than all the gold in the world. Only a great fool would think you anything less than precious.”
“Thank you. I was so worried you wouldn’t forgive me.” She laid her head on his shoulder.
“You made a mistake, but you were in a desperate situation. I understand now. I’ve made plenty of my own mistakes, like my inexcusable behavior last night, and I’m sure I’ll make a whole lot more, in the years to come. I’m sure you’ll be a lot more understanding and patient than I’ve been.” He kissed her hair and smiled down at her. “Who knows? Maybe I can learn a thing or two from you.”
Chapter 19
Tuesday, July22, 1890
“Everything seems to be fine, Lilly. You can tell Jake that there is nothing to worry about. You’re as healthy as a horse, and I don’t see any cause for concern.” Dr. Archer’s faded blue eyes peered at her over his spectacles. “As long as you keep getting some rest and plenty to eat.”
The doctor looped his stethoscope around his neck and stepped back. Lilly buttoned up her shirtwaist, glad to have the examination over with.
“Don’t worry. If Jake has his way, I’ll be as big as a house by the time the baby comes. I swear, the man wants me to walk around with a chicken leg in one hand and an apple in the other!”
Dr. Archer laughed. “I’m not surprised. I could tell you some mighty amusing stories of various ways that anxious first-time fathers have driven their poor expectant wives to distraction! But next time I see him, I’ll be sure to mention that ‘regular meals’ doesn’t mean a meal every hour.”
“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Lilly smiled warmly. “And I appreciate that you were willing to keep me as a patient. I wasn’t very comfortable with Dr. Foyle. I felt that he was very unsympathetic to my situation.”
“I understand.” Dr. Archer nodded. “He’s young, he’ll learn. It’s easy to judge others so quickly, especially when one is taught from an early age that it’s a woman’s fault when a man takes advantage of her. Right now, most things
are just abstract medical cases to him, from a dusty physician’s tome. But with time comes experience that he needs, which will give him a greater understanding of such suffering, and more compassion for women such as yourself.”
“I hope so. It’s just as well that you’re my doctor, though—I think Jake would drive any doctors but you completely out of their minds. In fact, I’m surprised he didn’t close up shop to be here, for fear that something might go wrong,” she laughed. “One fainting spell, and the man worries like he’s a mother, rather than my husband.”
Offering his hand, Dr. Archer helped her down from the examination table. “There’s no doubt he cares very much about you, that’s for sure.”
“I hope this appointment will rest his fears. I told him I felt fine and there was no reason for an appointment so early on—what can you do?” She rubbed her belly—which still appeared flat through her clothes. “This little bun in my oven just needs another six months to bake. There’s nothing much you can do for that, can you?”
“You’re right about that. But if there are complications or you don’t feel well—beyond the normal nausea of morning sickness—then please feel free to come see me. Other than that, I don’t see a need for more appointments until you’re closer to your due date.”
Dr. Archer walked her out into the waiting room. Dr. Foyle, working at the desk, was greeting a woman who had just arrived with a coughing child.
Lilly was surprised, when she opened the door, to see Jake pulling up in front of the doctor’s door in the wagon.
“I had a feeling you were going to show up!” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I knew you’d never be able to stay away. But you’re too late—the appointment is over.”
“So quick?” Jake slapped his knee. “I knew I should have left sooner! But I’ve been running behind all morning. We had three horses in to be shoed, and Edgar couldn’t handle them all himself. Hey, Doc!”
Dr. Archer closed the door behind him and followed Lilly down the steps, helping her up into the wagon before Jake could get down to do it himself. “Hello, Jake.” He lowered his voice. “I hear you’ve been pestering this poor woman to death.”
“That’s an exaggeration.”
“Well, there’s nothing to worry about, so you can stop forcing food down poor Mrs. Morgan’s throat. She’s doing just fine, and now that she knows not to skip meals, I think she can regulate her own food consumption.”
“Fine, fine,” Jake said, then threw Lilly a stern glance. “Traitor.”
“I told you to stop stuffing me, or I’d tell on you. Otherwise I’ll end up ballooning up to a size so great, I could stand in for the fat lady at the circus.”
“I’m just trying to keep you alive. And conscious.”
“You both take care now.” Dr. Archer waved, then turned to go back into his office.
“Well,” Jake said, releasing the wagon brake, “since you’re done early, why don’t we take a drive?”
“What about your dinner? I haven’t even started making it yet.”
Jake waved away her concerns. “Edgar is standing in for me, and I could use a break. We’ll take a short drive, then when I drop you off at home, I’ll grab some fruit and the leftover hard rolls from last night’s supper and take them to work with me. I’d rather spend time with you than sitting and watching you cook for me.”
“If it means that much to you, then let’s go.”
They rode a ways out of town, and Lilly enjoyed the surrounding views. As they got away from the downtown area, the open, flat land fanned out before them and to the right, with a 360-degree view of the mountains that improved as they drove further out. The ever-present sounds of new construction faded behind them, and off in the distance, she could hear the approach of a locomotive as it steamed toward Helena.
She fancied the sound of the train. It reminded her of the train that had brought her here, to this scenic valley that she now thought of as home—the train that had brought her to a handsome, admirable husband, and the peace and safety of her new life.
They held hands for a long time without speaking. When they did speak, Jake told her about his day, and what a difficult time he was having with the last few rose panels for the Crowley gate. Fitting in other jobs around the ornamental fence wasn’t easy, especially if it was a more complex job that Edgar couldn’t yet handle alone.
Lilly told him about how the garden was coming along—the cucumber vines were growing well, and the roses were blooming more profusely, now that the plants had been pruned. Then they fell into companionable silence again.
She could hardly believe they’d only been married five weeks—it seemed that they had known each other much longer than that. They didn’t need to fill the silence—they could just be together, holding hands. She had hoped coming out to Montana would yield a better future for her than a future in Massachusetts had offered—but never did she expect to find such contentment. She only hoped she would be able to be the kind of wife for Jake that she wanted to be, and the kind of mother that her unborn child deserved.
“Lilly,” Jake interrupted her thoughts, “remember how I told you about Doc’s idea, about us taking an extended trip once you’re starting to show, and staying away until after the baby is born?”
“Yes. But I just don’t see how you could shut down the smithy—”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about that. Edgar knows all the basics already. It’s just some of the more delicate, fancy stuff he doesn’t know. Once the Crowley job is over—which it should be by next week—I can focus on teaching him the important skills that he’s still lacking. Doc says we’ve got at least a month, before your full dresses can’t hide it anymore. If you can stand staying inside for a month beyond that, then I can let my customers know that you and I are going on a late honeymoon toward the end of September, and tell them that Edgar can handle anything essential, but that any custom orders will have to wait until we get back. Most everyone who knows me, knows that I’ve been working on the Crowley order for months—they’ll just assume we had to postpone our honeymoon until it was done. Then we come back after the baby is around three months old. It’s the perfect plan.”
“It’s an expensive plan. Where will we stay?”
“Anywhere you want. We’ll take a train somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. We’ll rent a nice room somewhere, or rent a small house for a few months. We’ll tell everyone in the new town that we’ve been married since February.”
“I don’t like lying.”
“Neither do I, but we have your reputation to protect. Or else, we could try diversion—if anyone asks how long we’ve been married, we just find a way to distract them or change the subject. Or we can say ‘under a year,’ and let them assume that means it’s been almost a year, when it’s really far less. Who can blame us if someone makes assumptions, right?”
“Well, that’s better than lying, I guess. But how will we afford it?”
“I’ve got a plan.”
Lilly raised both her eyebrows, pointedly.
“Alright. Doc offered us the money.”
“We can’t—”
“I already told him I couldn’t take his money. He told me it’s the first chance he’s ever had to really be able to help a…a girl in your circumstances—in his whole career. He really wants to help. But I am going to insist on paying him back. And we’ll have the other half of the money from the Crowley job, by then. Which is nothing to sneeze at.”
“I don’t suppose we have much choice,” she sighed. “I won’t expose you to any more scandal than you’ve already suffered through.”
“It will be fun, don’t you think?” He leaned and stole a quick kiss.
“It sounds terrific.” She snuggled up to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She didn’t even look to see if anyone else was on the road—she didn’t care who saw.
***
They pulled into the back alley, and Jake brought the horse to a stop in front of their gate. He jumped out
and walked around to help Lilly down.
“Thank you for taking the ride with me. It was great to able to spend some time with you during the day.”
“It was.” She sighed in contentment.
They passed through the arbor gate and walked hand in hand to their door. Lilly was admiring how tall the bean vines were getting, and imagined how tasty the fresh green beans would be when it was time to harvest them.
“What’s that?”
“What?” Lilly tore her eyes away from the bean plants and looked up at Jake. Then she followed his gaze to their low porch, where a wide porcelain vase stood, filled with flowers of all kinds. She didn’t think she’d ever seen anything so lovely outside of her own mother’s garden. “Oh! They’re gorgeous.”
Jake dropped her hand and reached for the vase, picking it up and examining it. He lifted a small folded scrap of paper that was tied to the stem of a rose.
“Does it say who they’re from?” Lilly was itching with curiosity. “Are they from Madeline?”
His hand let go of the note, as if it had seared his fingertips. Then he turned to her, his eyes blazing. “Do I look like a fool?”
Chapter 20
Lilly blinked. “What?”
“I guess your lover must have thought I’d already come and gone for lunch,” Jake seethed, “and thought it was safe to leave you a token of his affections!” He hurled the vase of blossoms at the brick wall beside their door. It shattered, the porcelain shards flying, water splashing down the wall and at their feet, and petals and greenery falling in a sodden heap to the porch.
Lilly cringed at the outburst, confused. “I don’t understand—what are you saying?”
“What am I saying?” He snatched up the note from the pile of discarded flowers, still tied to a rose stem. He grabbed the rose and tore the card from it, his hand coming away with bloodied scratches across the palm. “My beloved Lilly, we will be together soon,” he read with a sneer. Then he tossed the card in her face. “I really am a fool.”
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