One by one, he fought against each temptation, fear, vengeance, desire, anger, illness, hunger, deception, agony, distrust, and his own temptation, death. He looked up to the sky for strength and cleared his mind of the thousands of reasons not to join with the Destroyer. Instead, he focused on the reasons that he should join with her. As Gabriel had said, his Master would be unlike anyone he’d ever met before. That was true enough. She was strong and yet vulnerable. She turned his world upside down by challenging him to stop making excuses and figure out the truth behind his indecisiveness. Best of all, she still wanted him. Though there were many obstacles in his way, he felt that he could defeat them with her by his side.
Gabriel was right; she was unlike anyone he’d ever met. He had expected his Master to beat him into submission and force him to accept her and instead she was offering him a choice. It was the last thing he’d expected. It was clear that he knew nothing about this woman. Life with her would never be dull and boring. He began to fill with hope as he pictured standing beside her. She promised to protect him. If he made his vow to join her, together they would conquer any problem or threat. He had a feeling that she could convince his brothers to join her, in spite of his failings.
Thinking about the positive emotions he had experienced while in her presence, he wanted to be able to feel them all the time, not just when he was tempting a mortal. He wanted to serve a Master who cared about him, who possibly loved him. She’d said that she wanted a partnership of sorts. Serving someone who loved you and that you loved in return was the ideal way for an angel to live.
Purging his brother’s voices and temptations from his mind, he heard only one thing. He heard the echo of his own voice as it proclaimed to Father that he would serve the Destroyer as her Angel of Death and do His will through her.
Alazar closed his eyes and chose Anjali with all his heart, forevermore. She needed his knowledge, strength, and abilities while he needed her acceptance and compassion. He shook his head at his idiocy. He should have bound himself to her the second that she brushed away his tears. He knew that no matter the challenge, he would find a way to be what she needed. He would draw strength from her and do the impossible.
Standing up, he allowed the decision to settle into his bones as it freed his chaotic mind. He breathed in the fresh air and felt optimistic for the first time since leaving Heaven. He needed to listen to the part of him that wanted to be with Anjali and push away his reservations. It was time to be the Angel of Death, the Harbinger to the Destroyer, not the shadow of his former self. He smiled, knowing that he’d made the right choice.
All he needed was midnight and his darkness would be destroyed forever.
∞
Derick and Annie strolled through the city streets chatting quietly. They looked at the shop windows and said hello to the locals as they passed. Derick talked about Tulsa and how much he enjoyed college, while Annie talked about her mortal life and mentioned a few stories about Hell, without the Hell part.
As they talked, they avoided the obvious problem; Annie’s relationship status. Derick kept his word and didn’t preach to her or make her feel like she was making the wrong choices. Sadly, she knew she was doing the right thing. Someone needed to keep the devil from destroying everything. Even Hades agreed with her, and they rarely agreed on anything.
“What about you? Do you have any crazy friends or insane ex-girlfriends? Josilyn mentioned that you don’t date much. I find that very hard to believe,” she said as she looked up at his breathtaking smile.
Derick chuckled darkly and looked away. “There’s nothing to tell. I don’t date much.”
“No way. I’m not buying that. You’re too good looking. I saw the way Cassie was flirting with you. I’d think most women would respond that way to your killer dimples,” she giggled and bumped into his shoulder, pushing him lightheartedly.
Derick laughed at her playfulness. He liked seeing her this way. “Cassie did it just to piss you off. She had no interest in me before you walked into that parking lot. I don’t know what her problem was. I try to avoid most women. I’ve rarely found one who can hold my interest for long,” he sighed when he looked into Annie’s beautiful eyes. So much for not finding a woman who could hold his interest; he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Annie blushed when she saw the longing in his eyes. She had never met a man that she wanted so much. “Oh come on, there has to be more to the story. Sweet and sexy are a dangerous combination, girls must have pursued you,” Annie chuckled. Mortal girls would fight in the streets to get Derick to look at them.
“Well, you are right about that, but it wasn’t something that I enjoyed. The girls in high school were very pushy. They constantly asked me out. I guess the quiet loner who was brooding about his crappy home life was a huge turn-on for them. It made me mysterious and attractive. Honestly, it was annoying,” he shook his head when he thought about the obnoxious girls at his school.
“Are you telling me that you didn’t date anyone until college?” she asked incredulously. Part of her was pleased that she didn’t have to hunt down his exes, but the rest of her was sad that he had been lonely.
“I tried not to date in high school, but that didn’t work out so well. I blew off this cheerleader and she spread rumors that I was gay. That just made things worse. The jocks started kicking my ass and the guidance counselor gave me pamphlets entitled ‘What Being Gay Really Means’ and ‘How to be Gay and Accept Yourself.’ It was embarrassing trying to explain that I was straight. I finally gave up and accepted the pamphlets,” Derick rolled his eyes. He should have felt mortified telling his dream girl that kids thought he was gay, but he was relieved that she knew it wasn’t true.
Annie felt bad for him. Dealing with an alcoholic mother and rumors about being gay, while in high school must have been excruciating. She would never complain about her boring life again.
“I understand the real reason why you wouldn’t want to date. You couldn’t exactly bring a girl home to meet your mom. I’m sure you had enough drama to deal with without worrying about a girlfriend,” she looped her arm through his and snuggled closer to him.
Derick smiled at the gesture. “Exactly, it would have been disastrous. Besides, I wasn’t interested in any of those girls. They were vapid and unimaginative. They only cared about their looks and their status. I only cared about surviving the day.”
“So what did you do?” she asked, brushing a stray hair from his forehead.
Derick hesitated. He’d been dreading this conversation since he figured out that Annie was attracted to him. “Well, I had to prove that I wasn’t gay. Not dating was fine, but getting my ass kicked daily was a major problem. As much as I didn’t want to make a spectacle out of myself to prove that I was straight, I had few options left. I stupidly asked out every girl that would say yes, which was a lot of girls. I had no idea that so many of them had a crush on me. Of course, proving that you’re straight isn’t as easy as you would think. Dating them wasn’t enough; the rumors were still going around. The girls all said that I was a perfect gentleman on our dates. It made things worse than before. I didn’t care about any of the girls, but I had to take the next step. I did something that I still regret. I naïvely asked out the girl with the worst reputation in school. Supposedly, she would sleep with anyone. We didn’t even make it into the theater to watch the movie. She pulled me into the janitor’s closet and screwed me right there. It was so awkward,” Derick hung his head.
Annie stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and hugged him. “Oh Derick, that’s terrible. Your first time shouldn’t have been in a closet with some slut. Teenagers can be so cruel. I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” she put her hand on his cheek and brushed her thumb across it.
Derick looked down at the most wonderful person he’d ever met. She actually felt bad for him. She wasn’t shocked or disgusted by him. She cared enough to comfort him. He was afraid to tell her the worst of it and watch her run from Roma
nia as fast as a plane could take her. “As screwed up as that was, things got worse. After that, I got a different reputation. While I hated having sex in a car with a girl that I didn’t care about, the one thing that did appeal to me was the thought of being caught,” Derick paused. Could he admit to this amazing woman that he had a dark side? Looking into her face full of concern and compassion, he felt like he had to confess his sins to her. Maybe he felt guilty for exposing her problems and wanted to let her know that she wasn’t the only one with issues. “Annie, I probably should have mentioned this before, but I like having sex out in the open where anyone might see me. I get this thrill from knowing that I might be caught by someone. It’s the only way that I can finish,” Derick shrugged awkwardly, not wanting to be vulgar about it. He held his breath, waiting for the fallout.
Annie contemplated Derick’s strange confession for a moment. It certainly wasn’t the most sinister thing she’d ever heard. “You like doing it in public? Do you like being watched or being caught and getting into trouble?” Annie asked, trying to understand what he was saying.
Derick was surprised by the question. “It’s more the idea of someone walking in on me and being mad at me. I like the thrill of potentially being caught in the act. I knew sex with these girls didn’t mean anything, so part of me wanted to be punished for it. I liked the idea of being punished for having unemotional sex. The reality of getting caught sucks when you end up in detention for a week. The school wanted to suspend me, but my uncle convinced them that kicking me out of school would only cause more problems. It’s stupid I know, but I’m completely screwed up and I don’t know how to fix it,” Derick was ashamed of his unusual desires. There was no way that Annie would never understand and accept him.
“I don’t think you’re screwed up. You had a hellish life and you did what you had to do to cope with it. Maybe having sex in public with slutty girls wasn’t the best option, but it’s better than drinking and taking drugs. You were careful, right? I mean you had safe public sex, right?” she chuckled at the thought. If having public sex with meaningless girls was the worst of his problems, he was getting off easy.
Derick couldn’t comprehend her words at first. She didn’t think that he was screwed up. She was more concerned about him having an STD or getting someone pregnant than hating him for his deviant behavior. What had he done to deserve this angel?
“Yes, I was careful,” he replied matter-of-factly. He almost laughed out loud when she accepted his answer with a nod and a shrug.
Annie took Derick’s hand and guided him down the street. Curious about his preference for risky sex, she wanted to know more. Secretly she wanted to know how many girls had obliged his kinkiness. “What happened at school? I doubt that most of girls would want to do that, especially at that age. Did the jocks stop beating you up?”
“Well, at first I tried to pick locations that I thought were too extreme so that the girl would back out and I wouldn’t have to deal with it. That worked until the bad girls found out about what I was doing, or not doing, as the case may be. The easy girls took me up on my offers to have sex on the beach during the day, on the stairs at school, or in the bathrooms. It surprised me how many girls were into it. A number of them freaked out and stayed away from me, which was good, but the repeat offenders started coming up with places of their own. The sad part is that instead of getting beat up for being gay, I got beat up for having sex with the football player’s girlfriends. In my defense, I never paid attention to who was dating which jock and the girls came onto me,” he grimaced.
“Damn. You were destined to get your ass kicked no matter what. What a nightmare. You said that you were almost suspended. What happened?” she knew he must have done something outrageous to face suspension.
Derick chuckled as Annie tried to suppress her amusement. He felt better knowing that she wasn’t judging him. If only he had extended the same courtesy earlier.
“I was having sex on the principal’s car during lunch. He always parked his car in the back of the school in a little shaded area behind a wall. I don’t know why I thought it would be a great place to do it, but it was probably because the risk was higher. The principal was pissed, but considering that the jocks had trashed the homecoming float the night before, I was the least of his problems,” he laughed at his own stupidity.
“That’s insane. You were a bad boy. Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?” she was dying to know the answer so that she could imagine the scenario.
He thought about all the best places that he’d been brave enough to attempt sex. He nodded when he remembered the place. “Top row of a Bon Jovi concert. It was dark at the top and there was a space behind the last row of seats. She leaned against a metal beam and we had sex during ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’,” he chuckled. His cheeks flushed at the thought of what he had done.
“How scandalous!” she laughed.
“Thankfully, things got a little better in college. I didn’t have to worry about my reputation. I dated a few girls, but I only had sex with one of them. I tried doing it in a nice, normal place, in a bed, but it wasn’t the same. It felt too safe. I haven’t dated anyone since,” he sighed when he thought about having sex with Annie in a bed. He knew he would enjoy it even more than their encounter at the castle.
“The girl you slept with in your bed didn’t understand your past, didn’t she? You got angry when you thought that my friend CJ left me after I told him about my nightmares. I get the impression that you told someone about what you enjoy doing and they ran,” she said. She didn’t want to pry into his life, but she wanted to know what had caused his anger earlier.
“Yeah. I thought that we cared enough about each other that I could confide in her. The drunken mother she could handle, but finding out about the public sex was too much. She thought I was weird and disturbed. She was afraid that I would ask her to do it. She had no interest. Unfortunately, sex behind closed doors wasn’t really working out for me, so I would have asked her, if she hadn’t freaked out,” Derick couldn’t look at Annie. He didn’t want to know what she was thinking.
Annie hated hearing the shame in his voice. She wanted to tell him that the weirdest place she’d ever had sex was in Hell, but she doubted that it would make him feel better.
“Is that why you went down on me in the castle where someone might see us? You wanted to be caught?” she asked. Their castle encounter made a lot more sense.
Derick stopped dead in his tracks and pulled Annie around to face him. “I’m so sorry that I subjected you to that. I shouldn’t have forced you to do it. I should have explained myself before we did anything. I’m sorry. I will never ask you to do that again,” Derick panicked at the thought her leaving him.
Annie felt terrible for making him feel embarrassed. “Derick stop. I admit that I have never done anything like that before, but I’m certainly not upset about it. It was intoxicating. I’ve never felt more wanted or more alive than I did when you were touching me. It was perfect. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, or your sexual preferences. Honestly, I’ve never been more turned on in my life,” she blushed and put her hand on his chest.
Derick was overjoyed to hear that she was okay with what they had done, which only made him want to take her back to his bed and close the door.
“You’re sure that you’re okay with what we did?” he asked as he leaned into her warm hand.
“If you had told me before we did it, I’m not sure what I would have said, but having done it I have no complaints. It was mind-blowing,” she smirked.
Derick was overwhelmed. “Being with you was better than all my previous experiences combined,” he breathed out as he skimmed his hand down the length of her neck.
Annie’s blood ignited from his touch and the lust in his eyes. It was impossible to leave him. What the hell was she going to do?
Turning away from Derick, she tried to compose herself. She wanted to take her coat off, but was afraid that steam would
rise from her skin. Her mind and body were at odds. If given a choice, she would jump him right there on the sidewalk and take him against the butcher shop window. Derick was like an addiction that she couldn’t escape.
Derick stopped himself from staring at her. He was failing at the friendship thing. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. “I promise to behave myself, if you’ll go to dinner with me,” he blurted out, hoping that he hadn’t ruined things.
“Sure. It’s getting cold out here. We should go inside,” she said as she noticed the setting sun. Though she wasn’t affected by the cold, she had seen Derick huddle into his coat a few moments before.
He smiled brightly and quickly ushered her to a restaurant across the street.
The host greeted them and told them to wait for a moment while he found a table for them.
The inside of the restaurant was warm and low lit. A band was performing in the back room. The music was soft and lulling, adding to the intimacy of the dark room. It was casual enough not to need a reservation, but slightly upscale with nicely dressed waiters and expensive furnishings.
A cute blonde waitress appeared at their table once they were seated near a stone fireplace. The waitress smiled cheerfully at Derick, though he hardly noticed as he helped Annie out of her coat and held her chair out for her. The waitress jumped at the chance to ask Derick what he wanted to drink. Annie thought that the perky blonde would be deterred since he didn’t speak Romanian, but she switched to broken English and used the language barrier as an excuse to lean over Derick’s shoulder and point out the drinks on the menu.
Annie had been right about the mortal women finding Derick attractive. The waitress was all smiles as she tried to flirt with him. Her cheeks were flushed and she kept touching Derick’s arm when she laughed at the miscommunication they had over something on the menu.
The Third Throne: Angel of Death Page 35