But I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t need to hide. I have just as much of a right to be here, in this world, in this life, as anyone else. I yank my parka off and fling it at the wall. Brady ruins everything. First, he strings me along, he uses my body, he gets me beaten, and now he’s ruined my parka. To top it all off he wants a second chance. And for what?
“Nothing!” I shout.
I will give him nothing. The same nothing he has given me.
I grab the parka and march downstairs. I open drawers until I find what I’m looking for. The scissors feel heavy in my hand. And sharp. I hack into the parka with a vehemence that further perpetuates my rage. I cut the arms off first. Then I cut into the body, pulling at the fur and the fleece. I rip it apart with my bare hands and teeth when the scissors fall from my hands.
Suddenly arms are around me. I am bawling uncontrollably. I drop what’s left of the parka and cry against Julian’s chest.
“Do you know where Brady lives?”
“No, baby, I don’t. Why?”
“I want to tell him the worst thing I ever did was want Brady McAlister.”
Julian wipes my tears. “You can tell him tomorrow.”
I am enraged at myself, at Brady, at my parents, at everyone who put me here. “I want to tell him now.”
“What did he do?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Julian frowns. “Then why are you so mad?”
“Because I finally get it.” I let him go and move to stare down at the mess I created. “I finally understand who he is.”
He looks relieved that I finally see what he’s seen from the beginning. Wordlessly, he grabs a garbage bag from under the sink and starts stuffing it full of the parka. I watch him, boiling inside.
When he’s done, he takes it outside in the garbage where it deserves. I find comfort when he returns empty-handed.
“Julian?”
He closes the patio door and looks at me. “Yes?”
“I want to be with you. Right now.”
He doesn’t need me to tell him what. “Tell me why, Kael.”
I know what he’s asking. What I feel for him is all I have in this world. “Because I love you, Julian.”
He closes his eyes in extreme relief. They remain closed for a long time. His chest moves, his lips part. When he opens them, the lion has hungry love-filled eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that. Tell me again.”
“I love you.” I’ve never been more positive of anything in my entire life. I may not have been loved, or know for sure how to do it, but I do know with a complete sureness that I love Julian Ean with everything inside of me.
He stalks me. “Again.”
“I love you. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone but you.” I fling myself at him.
Mr. Ean catches me and our lips smash together. Our kiss is passionate and hungry. This is no ordinary kiss. As our lips melt together he guides us upstairs. We’ve kissed fast, slow, hectically, and emotionally. But we’ve never kissed like this. I can feel his emotions in his lips. I know in my heart that this is love.
When we get to my bedroom he sets me down on my feet. He reaches up to cup my face. Our eyes connect. “I love you too, Kaelyn Jefferies. I love how strong you are. I love how brave you are. I love how stubborn you are. I love how when I look at you, you take every ounce of breath out of my lungs. I love how when I hear your voice everything that was wrong is right. I love how you’re looking at me right now, how your tears make your dark blue eyes shine. But most of all I just love you. I love you,” he repeats, as if he’s desperate for me to hear him, understand him, and trust him. “And now I’m going to show you how much.”
As Julian undresses me, he looks into my eyes, making sure I know exactly what he’s feeling and what he plans on doing to me. When I’m completely naked, he undresses. He takes his shirt off, his jeans, and then his boxers. He puts his hands on my hips and guides me back until my thighs hit the bed. He eases me backward and we both slide to the middle of the bed.
Almost immediately Julian is kissing me. He pauses for a second beforehand to just look at me, our naked bodies entangled together. I take that opportunity to look at him too. At this man. This gorgeous perfect unbelievable man. His lips are slow yet urgent. I can feel in them that he’s not going to stop until I’m a trembling mess beneath him.
He moves to rest between my legs, placing his full weight on top of me. One hand moves between my legs as he kisses me, massaging me there. Part of my mind breaks away from my love and lust takes over. I grip his biceps, his back, digging my nails into his flesh. His fingers enter me slowly. There’s a point to his movements this time. I grind my hips against his hand, kissing his mouth as hard as I can. My fingers are in his hair, one hand is on his lower back.
He breaks our kiss to shove his face in my neck. I moan beneath him as he finds my throat. His fingers disappear. He shifts his lower body so he’s positioned right in front of my aching sex. His eyes meet mine as the tip of his cock slowly teases my entrance. The slickness of my want is warm silky temptation. With a hard thrust of his hips, he enters me.
As prepared as I am, I’m surprised by how thick he feels. My moan is shocked and breathy. It’s so loud I shove my face against his shoulder as he pushes into me deeper to muffle myself. My brain can’t comprehend the pleasure. It’s so intense and unexpected. It fills my brain. For a few seconds, I can’t even hear or see. I grip him as he pulls out slowly, gently pushing into me once more. He’s gentle and patient, even though I know he’s holding himself back. His shoulders tense and his breath comes from gritted teeth.
I want him to show me how much he loves me.
I find his mouth and tongue and remind him how much I already do. The harder I kiss him the faster his hips move. His cock is unbelievably huge inside of me. It stretches me, alighting a deep burn when he pulls out. The burn increases with each thrust, refilling my pussy with every thick hot inch. I can’t stop moaning, touching him, and kissing him. His hips speed up, moving quickly in and out of me. Julian is killing me. I have never felt anything so damaging in my life. How can he expect me to ever be the same again after pleasure this intense?
Each time he fills me he hits this spot, this deep aching spot. Soon that spot begins to pulse and throb. I know there are other things to focus on. Good things. But for the life of me, I can’t forget. If I focus hard enough, I can feel it coming. It’s searing and overwhelming. It’s everything. I know within seconds I’m going to fall apart. And after I do, I won’t be the same person I was before tonight.
I’ll be Julian’s. And that’s a far better transformation than any I’ve undergone.
My orgasm is frenetic. It knocks me aside like I am nothing. My body hits the wall and falls helplessly to the floor. I feel hollow as Julian moves his hips into me. Our flesh meets in a tangle of skin and sweat. When my hearing returns, and I can see again, he’s looking down at me the same way I am looking up at him. And he isn’t done. Far from done.
“You’re so fucking tight.” He braces his hands on either side of my head and groans as he sends his hips roughly into me.
I gasp at the feeling. There’s so much of him inside of me. So much heat and burn; I breathe the fire into my lungs.
I expect since the first wave is out of my system, I’ll be able to slow down and enjoy being with him, but that isn’t the case. He’s rough and consuming, taking what’s his. The sensations are still raw. The feeling of him hitting that special spot after so much attention leaves me panting all over again. I don’t understand how he expects me to survive this. Sweat slides down his chest. He grunts on top of me, growling my name on the cusp of his own pleasure.
For eighteen years, I’ve known many emotions. Abandonment, isolation, sadness, and pain. I know those emotions well. But at this moment, all I feel is naked, raw, unhindered happiness. I feel something I want for the rest of my life. I don’t even want to remember a time before Julian. Before toni
ght. I look into his eyes as he thrusts into me. I can see the exact same want in his eyes. He leans down to kiss me deeply.
His breaths become growls, and soon his muscles tighten. His body creates a fast and harsh rhythm. But I’m knocked aside for a second time, and the release of my pleasure is too much to wait for his.
But my heart listens, feels. He stills on top of me and his shouts of release come from faraway.
Julian’s kneeling in front of me when I eventually find my sight. His hands are on his thighs and he’s breathing hard. “Don’t move,” he orders gruffly.
Hearing his voice elicits an impossible rush of fire to move over my body. How can I still want more? I look down and find his semen on my stomach. I stretch my arms over my head and bask in the feeling of being covered in him. He returns with a towel. As he washes my body I run my fingers through his hair.
“We need to get some condoms.”
I nod, unable to talk.
He tosses the towel away and crawls in to lie beside me. I roll over into his arms, wrapping mine around him and his come around me. I toss my legs over his waist. Our bodies know they can be closer now and it becomes an unspoken desire between us. He rubs my back as we lie together quietly.
“I love you, Kaelyn.” His voice is deep and rough with emotion.
I nod, unable to talk.
He chuckles warmly. “Did you lose your voice?”
I pull back to smile at him. “I might have.” Touching his face, I make sure he knows how I feel. “I love you too, Mr. Ean.”
His grin is wide and naughty. “I’ll teach you a thing or two,” he warns.
“Teach me.” I reach down to touch him.
“Again?” He laughs in disbelief. “You’re going to have to wish me hard after what we just did. That was at least an hour.”
I roll my eyes. “Ten minutes’ tops.”
Outrage curls his lips. “Kael.”
I giggle. “Maybe even five minutes.”
“Brat,” he grumbles. He lets me go and grabs his jeans off the floor. Looking at the clock on his phone, he grins. “One hour right on the dot.”
“Wow,” I exhale. The idea of us intertwined for an hour shocks and pleases me. “I want another hour.”
He stands at the foot of the bed looking down at me. His erection still holds on, semi-hard. I crawl to the end of the bed and sit on the edge right in front of him.
“I can make you hard again.”
He looks down at me, sliding his fingers over my lips. “With this?”
I nod against his fingertips and dart my tongue out. “And this.”
“I doubt it.”
My eyes flash.
I angrily grab his cock in my grip and shove him into my mouth. He shouts as his nails dig into my shoulders. Take that, I think, as I take him so far back into my mouth he hits my throat. Soon, I find a rhythm, and Julian’s head is tossed back as I suck him. As I pull him into my mouth, I use my hand to stroke his shaft. He’s mine. I could probably do anything to him in that moment and he’d let me.
It’s empowering.
Suddenly he steps away from me and pushes my body onto the bed. My back hits the soft mattress just as he’s between me, entering me deeply. This time Julian is not gentle. His thickness stretches me deliciously as he thrusts into me. I’m aware this go-around. I hold onto his biceps, fearful I’m going to end up in the next room if I don’t hold on. I don’t have long before my head is tossed back and my spine arches off the bed. He holds me in the air as I fall apart in his arms.
I resurface as he’s cleaning me off again.
“Condoms,” he reminds me.
I nod, feeling rubbery and pliant. “I’m sorry I’m not focusing on you.”
He pulls me against his chest so I’m draped across it. “I was going to apologize for the same thing.”
The idea that he’s feeling the same thing I’m feeling is comforting. I kiss his chest. “You’re forgiven.”
His hands are in my hair. “Did I hurt you?”
I don’t know what he means, and since he didn’t hurt me at all in any way I shake my head. “I’ve never felt better.”
“Me too, Kael. You know what this means, don’t you?”
“Tell me.”
“It means,” he answers, tracing my back dimples. “That you’re never going to be able to get rid of me.”
“I’ll never want to.” If his tone is playful mine is completely serious.
“Oh, Kaelyn, I hope so.” He kisses the top of my head. “Sleep now, baby. We’ve got to get up early.”
But I can’t sleep. Even after his snores begin to sound I am still wide awake. I trace his abs as I attempt to sleep. After our night together I should be exhausted. The bad part is I’m not even thinking about Julian. He’s not keeping me up.
Nessa is.
I can’t believe she’s still out there running her mouth about me. She kicked me on the ground and yet I’m still somehow a viable pin cushion? I wonder whether she’s sane, whether we have a right to find comfort in our sanity when we both gave it up for a boy who won’t remember us in twenty years. Doesn’t she get it? I’m done with Brady. Should I have even tried? Absolutely not. But I did and she made sure I knew her position. Countless times. What more does she want from me?
As carefully as I can without waking him, I wiggle out of Julian’s arms. I find my panties and slip them on, followed by his shirt. I leave the bedroom and take the stairs. In the fridge, I’m relieved there isn’t a beer in sight. I make a tomato sandwich, grab a water bottle, and sink onto the couch. An infomercial on waterproof glue bores me. I can’t help but watch the way the moon outside shines right in through the high reaching windows. It transfixes me.
“Kael?”
I look over to find Julian leaning against the wall. His boxers are black, and with the night of the house cloaking him, he looks pale.
“What’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
“Brady said Nessa’s still talking shit to the kids at school.”
I can’t see his reaction, but I hear his sigh. “What better than to make her pay for that?”
“Hmm.”
“You’re going to have to move on whether she does or not. She may spend the rest of her life obsessed with you. She may never get over it.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t say why. I’m sane,” he comments quietly. “Why don’t you come back to bed?”
“I want to move on,” I admit. “I don’t want to fear her, or think about her, or have anything to do with her at all. I don’t even want to blame myself anymore. I want it all gone.”
“I know, baby. We’re doing the only thing we can do to make that happen.”
I like that we’re we. I find comfort in that. I turn the TV off and together we try and sleep. My dreams are mean and relentless. When we wake in the morning I’m not rested whatsoever. There’s a pit in my stomach preventing me from focusing on anything but court. Julian and I shower together. I close my eyes as the water hits my face and his hands lather me with soap. When I do him, I hope he can’t tell my hands are shaking.
Breakfast is quiet. I drink my coffee and ignore the way he keeps watching me. Brady and Mr. Hunt are waiting outside the courthouse when we walk around the corner.
“Shit,” Julian mutters.
I have this urge to grab his hand and kiss it when Mr. Hunt’s eyes narrow at the two of us arriving together.
“Morning,” he greets. He smiles nicely at me. “You look better, honey.” He puts his arm around my shoulder and hugs me to his belly.
I awkwardly hug him back. “I feel better.”
“How’s that sick time going for you?” Mr. Hunt asks Julian.
Julian looks him right in the eye. “Refreshing.”
“Mhm. How nice of you to give Kaelyn a ride.”
Beside me, Brady grabs my hand and leads me away from the two of them. I stare down at his hand and then
up at his face. I plan on telling him that I won’t be his friend when something catches his eye. I look over my shoulder to see Nessa and her parents making their way out of her BMW. Everything inside of me freezes. I am propelled back to the parking lot. Her feet are smashing against my face as her comrade’s kick my ribs.
I want to tell that girl, me, to get up. Even if it hurts, get up. Even if it kills you, get up. Because being on the ground hurts worse than the pain of standing.
Nessa sees me too. I watch her take me in. My bruises with a smirk. My black eye with a sneer. And Brady’s hand wrapped around mine with pure unadulterated fury. She tries to break away from her parents. Her father grabs her arm. She shakes him off and runs for me. I’m stuck, watching her come for me. Her black hair is caught in the wind and it writhes around her on the breeze, making her look even eviler than she already is. Her eyes are narrowed on me as if I am the only target she’ll ever see. Her fists are already cocked.
“You just can’t leave him alone can you, you disgusting whore!” she screeches.
Her scream alerts Julian and Mr. Hunt. Her father runs after her, but he’s no match. Beside me Brady curses. He grabs my arm to pull me behind him, which only pisses Nessa off more. She screams like a banshee and runs full force for me.
Julian steps in front of her on the sidewalk. “Don’t you fucking touch her,” he growls.
Nessa fights against his hold. “Don’t tell me what to do, you pervert! Let me go!”
Julian struggles with her. Mr. Hunt doesn’t know what to do. Brady is trying to block me, but I step out from behind him because the sight of her anywhere near Julian makes my skin crawl.
“You will not touch her, do you hear me?” I’ve never seen Julian so angry before, inches from her face screaming at the top of his lungs. “You even breathe in her direction and you’re going to regret it. Do you hear me?”
“You will not talk to my daughter that way.” Mr. Ferguson grabs Julian’s arm.
Julian shakes him off and points at me. “Look what your precious little daughter did to her.”
When Julian lets Nessa’s arm free he doesn’t realize what he did. She pulls her arm back and punches him right in his jaw.
Under The Peaches (Teaching Love Series Book 1) Page 32