Survival Instinct: Brian Book One (Van Zant Siblings 1)

by Roxy Harte

  “Red,” Brian answered confidently.

  “Good, don’t try to be a tough guy to impress me. If I give you more than you can handle, say it.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Chapter Six

  ♥

  The morning Hawk woke up to brilliant blue skies, he left the bedroom intending on getting an early start, but his mind was still on the man in his bed.

  After showering, Brian had found him pacing. “Is something wrong?”

  The storm had worsened much faster than he’d anticipated and he was left angry, frustrated. “I can’t leave for the mountain until the blizzard conditions die out.”

  “You’re upset because you’re stuck here babysitting me?”

  “No.” Hawk grabbed Brian’s shoulders and met his gaze. “You’re out of the woods and don’t require a caregiver. If you did, I wouldn’t even be thinking about the lights on the mountain. You’re my first priority.”

  Hawk hadn’t seen what the man did next coming—Brian had dropped the towel that had been hanging loosely around his waist and knelt at his feet. In that moment, Hawk decided there could be worst fates than being trapped in a bedroom with Brian…and he’d desperately needed relief from the frustration making his blood boil. Hawk closed his eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that this stranger was running from his family, his loss, and wanted him only for the escape his dominance could provide. Brian wouldn’t think about him twice when it came time to leave this valley. Hawk would be the one left nursing his broken heart.

  That’s why the decision to top him had been so stupid. At least that’s what he told himself as he stood in Sarah’s kitchen loading ice axes and rope into a backpack. Outside he heard stomping feet before Sarah and the sheriff bustled through the door. He hid his smile. Though it was nice seeing the two old birds together, he wouldn’t mention his suspicions that their relationship had recently changed to something more intimate.

  Dodd stopped abruptly, seeing him kneeling on the floor, loading the last of his gear. Sarah bumped into his back. “Jesus, Malcolm! Warn me next time.”

  “Sheriff. Sarah,” he greeted them.

  “Looks like you have something big planned,” Dodd commented.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Care to share, Hawk?”

  Pushing back her parka hood, Sarah turned her rosy face to him. “Oh, Toby! I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind for three whole days. How’s the tourist?”

  Smiling, Hawk stood and helped her shrug out of her parka. “Oh, he’s alive enough.”

  He hung the jacket on a coat hook and chuckled when Sarah smacked at him playfully. She looked truly relieved. “Well, I never doubted that for a minute.”

  Dodd shook his head. “I would have. I didn’t think he had a chance without a medevac.”

  Hawk scratched his head. “Five days ago I would have begged for one. I guess he wasn’t as bad as we thought.”

  “Or tougher than you believed,” Brian announced, coming around a corner. His hair was still damp after his shower, but he looked warm enough, wearing the flannel shirt and jeans Hawk had laid out for him.

  Seeing him, Hawk smiled, caught himself, and went back to packing gear. “Tough and an eavesdropper.”

  He immediately thought of a half dozen punishments he’d only be too pleased to administer, if the situation were different. If Brian was his. But as the image of Brian’s backside bright red from a sound thrashing, flittered through his mind, he knew that was a repeat fantasy he couldn’t afford to entertain. It was in that quiet beat that he understood, his grandfather was only half right and completely wrong. He’d started down this path with Eric and replacing one insanely sexy man with another was wrong. The way he saw it, he might have to backtrack to get on the right path, but he could and would do it. His people were his future, not a single man. A bunch of men for sexual relief, but never one love.

  The man in question suddenly appeared and he didn’t look happy to see Hawk pack for a long stay in the mountains. Hawk broke the silence, “I see the clothes fit.”

  Brian stopped next to him, lifting one foot. “Boots are a little big, but they’ll do. Thanks for the loan.”

  Hawk met his gaze. The heat was still there, that indefinable current that ran between them, making him want Brian, even in broad daylight. Even outside the privacy of the bedroom. “Couldn’t have you running around town naked and barefoot.”

  Sarah rushed forward, not bothering to introduce herself before she hugged Brian. “Well, aren’t you just an absolute doll?” She lifted his left hand. “And single. Just wait until that news makes its rounds. All the single ladies for miles will be knocking your door down to get to you.”

  “Oh, please. No,” Brian begged. “I’m not…available.”

  Hawk tensed and hoped Brian had the good sense to keep his mouth shut about personal stuff. “Hey Brian, give me a hand?”

  Brian announced, “I’m gay.”

  Sarah’s eyebrows went up, and she blushed. “Well, well. I’m sure you will be the interest of more than a few men around these parts.”

  She looked from Brian to Hawk, and Hawk didn’t like the fact she’d already added two plus two and envisioned them having sex. He didn’t doubt she’d stay quiet, but he worried about the gleam in her eye. She cleared her throat. “I’ll just make coffee. Crowd will be here soon enough.”

  The men watched her mutter as she strode off into the walk-in pantry. Dodd said, “That woman is insufferable. As soon as she heard the road crews were headed out, she insisted I get her down here so she would be ready when folks started showing up for lunch.”

  Hawk snickered, doing his own math. So they had been together for the brunt of the blizzard as well.

  “Tobias,” the sheriff said warningly, “I saw that look, and yes, we’ve been stuck together at my place. When we left here it got so bad so quick, I just couldn’t get her up to her cabin, but nothing happened.”

  “Too bad,” Hawk said. “You’d make a cute couple.”

  Dodd shook his head. “We both know that isn’t possible.”

  Hawk cracked an evil smile, knowing just how much the overly domestic Sarah might cramp the loner sheriff’s style, but he didn’t say a word. He also knew Dodd would feel uncomfortable making a move on his best friend’s widow, but John had been dead five years, and he thought they’d both mourned his passing long enough. “It is if you both let it happen.”

  Sarah bustled back into the room, carrying coffee and flour. Brian hurried to help her, making Hawk realize his instincts were on target: Brian was a nice guy. Maybe too nice for the likes of him, but that wouldn’t matter, would it? Soon as the roads were cleared he’d leave town. That thought pained him more than it should have.

  At his feet Shadow paced and whined. Hawk lifted two fingers to his mouth and the dog instantly stilled, sitting, then lying down, curling into a ball. Hawk heaved his bag onto his shoulder. The sheriff didn’t miss the opportunity to change the subject. “So, what’s this?”

  “Want to get an early start up the mountain.”

  “Roads aren’t clear, Hawk. Give it another day.”

  “I don’t plan on taking the road, and you made it here easy enough.”

  “Hell, wasn’t nothin’ easy about it, but another day trapped with that woman fretting over what was going on here in town and I’d have lost my mind.”

  Brian brought both men mugs of steaming coffee. He caught and held Hawk’s gaze and Hawk only realized after he’d walked away, he was still staring. Under his breath, the sheriff whistled. “Is it contagious then?”

  “Contagious?” Hawk asked.

  “Homosexuality.”

  “I think you’re safe, Sheriff.”

  “Ha-ha.” The sheriff resumed their previous conversation. “How many men do you need?”

  Hawk jerked his chin and, seeing Brian was lingering near enough that he might be eavesdropping, sent him a warning glance, hoping he realized it wasn’t open for discussion
. He said loudly, “I’m going alone.”

  “That’s what I told Sarah. That you’d want to scope it out alone. Sneak in, and if you sense trouble get right back out to round up some help.”

  Brian left the room in a huff, leaving Hawk confused as to what he should say or do. Yes, they’d had sex, but they weren’t in a relationship, and this was work, possibly a dangerous day on the job. It felt wrong to leave without a good-bye though. That’s what Erik had done.

  “Honestly sheriff, I hope it’s just overactive imagination on mine and my grandfather’s part.” Hawk kept his gaze trained the direction Brian had gone, hoping for a last glance at the man. He was sure he’d be on his way out of town as fast as possible once the mountain was reopened.

  “You don’t believe it’s nothing.”

  “No, I think serious trouble has come to town.” Leaving his gear on the floor, Hawk followed the man. He found him sitting on the stairs, scratching Shadow behind the ears.

  “I’m sorry,” Brian said.

  Hawk frowned and leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. “That’s supposed to be my line.”

  “I understand, I really do. You have a job to do.”

  “Yes.”

  Brian sighed heavily.

  “So what’s really going on in that head of yours, Brian?”

  Brian stared him down. “Are you gay, or was I just an experiment?”

  The wind went out of Hawk’s lungs. He’d never said it out loud before. “I’m not exactly out of the closet, Brian. Rural Montana isn’t like other parts of the country. Besides, why does it matter? You’re just passing through. Right?”

  Hawk patted his thigh, calling Shadow to him, and left without a backward glance. Why avoid the inevitable? After a few days on the mountain, Brian would be gone to wherever he’d been heading in the first place.

  ♥

  Brian sat, stunned. He didn’t follow Hawk back into the kitchen. He heard the rough canvas of his gear bag scrape across the ground when he picked it up and the few words exchanged. The sheriff insisted he take a few men. Hawk’s voice was raised and harsh. “No, Mac.”

  Sarah begged him to be careful, and it sounded like she was crying.

  “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

  Brian hugged himself, not sure why he was so upset, tears close to the surface as he imagined him hugging Sarah good-bye. Transference? Fear he wouldn’t return at all? Like Brandon and Michael?

  The kitchen door closed with finality. Brian sucked back the unexplainable emotion he was feeling, reminding himself he’d cried enough the last few months. Tobias Red Hawk was a trained professional. He would be fine.

  “I’ll be fine too. I just need to get out of this town.” Standing, he rubbed his face and joined the sheriff and Sarah in the kitchen. Sarah turned her back, hiding the fact she was wiping her face before she poured more coffee into mugs. Brian asked the sheriff, “Who should I call to see about getting my Jeep off that mountain?”

  “Jenks should be able to handle the tow and repairs.”

  “Jinx?”

  “Matthew Jenkins, local mechanic, he’s been Jinx for more than twenty years ever since he brought a losing streak down on the high school basketball team.”

  Brian nodded, knowing a long-winded tale would ensue if he didn’t shut the sheriff down. “How soon do you think I can make that happen?”

  Sheriff Dodd rubbed his chin. “After the roads are cleared, only a few hours.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “I didn’t say the mountain pass would be cleared today and I can’t say what Jenkin’s timeframe will be on repairs after they are, but he’s the best in town. Well worth the wait, but he stays fairly busy.”

  Four hours later it was evident that perfect was not in the cards, because even though Matthew Jenkins, local mechanic, had retrieved his vehicle in short order. He gave him the verdict. “The cracked radiator isn’t a big deal. I can order the parts.”

  “Great. I was afraid it was a broken axle.”

  The mechanic made a face, indicating the worst was yet to come. “Well—”

  “It’s a broken axle too?”

  “More or less, and a bent frame.”

  “Fuck.”

  “That about sums it up.” Jenks handed him a written estimate on time and cost that sent his heart into his throat. He took a deep breath and reached into the Jeep for his backpack, which held his laptop. “Wi-Fi anywhere in town?”

  Jenks nodded. “At the diner.”

  “Let me think on it.” Brian walked away and sloshed through knee-high snow. He kept walking until he reached the end of town; then he turned around and walked the four blocks back to his Jeep. Seeing it bent and broken, he didn’t stop. He just kept walking until he reached the other side of town. His eyes went to the granite ridge rising into a dark gray sky. There was another storm coming, and he sure didn’t want to think about being snowed in any longer than necessary. He. Did. Not. Want. To. Think. About. The. Man.

  “Fuck!”

  Sheriff Dodd came up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder. “You going to be okay, son?”

  Brian turned to look at him but didn’t say anything. His attention was drawn to the small crowd gathering around his Jeep.

  “I heard the Jeep is going to be a pretty expensive fix and you might be staying in town a little longer than expected.” He shrugged. “I’m not trying to get into your business, but I’m fairly certain Sarah won’t be too hard to coax into letting you borrow that upstairs bedroom awhile longer, in exchange for some handyman repairs or something.”

  “I can handle a hammer, if you’re worried.”

  “I didn’t —”

  Brian interrupted, “Look Mac, no disrespect intended when I tell you this: I might be gay but I’m no namby-pamby boy.”

  Dodd stuck out his hand. “I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot. You can call me Sheriff Dodd.”

  Brian accepted his hand and shook it. “Sheriff Dodd. You can call me Dr. Van Zant.”

  The muscle in the sheriff’s jaw tightened. “Doctor you say?”

  “Doctorate of archaeology, University of Cincinnati, former curator of the Cincinnati Museum of Natural History, and currently between positions.”

  “Huh.” The sheriff withdrew his hand. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee, Doctor?”

  Brian laughed. “Why don’t I buy us both some lunch, Sheriff?”

  “Well, I won’t say no to that.”

  At the diner, Brian settled in at a table with a cup of coffee and his laptop but soon found himself surrounded by new faces, everyone wanting to meet him. Assuming Hawk’s worries were founded, it wasn’t exactly the reception he’d expected once word got out he was a gay man in town. As soup and sandwiches arrived, a thin, petite redhead approached the table with her business card extended. “Well, hi there! You must be our stranded traveler. I’m Rose Akins, Bitterroot Valley Real Estate.” She took a seat between him and the sheriff without being invited to do so.

  The sheriff hid a chuckle behind a big bite of roast beef on rye slathered with horseradish.

  “I’m not one to miss an opportunity, and whether you are considering building your dream home or just thinking about a small getaway cabin, I’m your girl.” She flagged down one of the waitresses, asking, “Can I get some iced tea?” without ever really leaving her sales pitch. “You know, by getting a cabin and putting it on a rental program, you can get the full enjoyment of mountain living while you’re on vacation and while you’re away profit from rental fees that will have it paid off in a matter of years instead of decades. Whether you consider it your retirement home or nest egg, you can’t go wrong. Equity is equity. You’ll be set in your later years.”

  Brian pulled his gaze from hers long enough to look at the sheriff and found the man amused. Rose patted his hand, making him look back at her. “Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re young, you have plenty of time, but honestly the time to start thinking about your si
lver years is now.”

  The waitress brought Rose her tea. “Oh, thank you.” She took a long sip. “I’m sorry; I really needed that. I get so dry. Now, where was I?”

  “You were at the part where I politely decline your services.”

  Sheriff Dodd let out a big belly laugh. Rose’s eyes widened.

  “Not that I wouldn’t love to live on this mountain. It really is beautiful here. It’s just that at the moment, I’m currently without a job and not quite certain which direction my life is going to take next.” He dramatically pulled his wallet out of his pants pocket and tucked her card inside. “But if I do decide to buy or build, you’ll get my business, Rose Akins.” He smiled widely and tucked his wallet back into his pocket.

  Rose’s mouth opened and shut twice, making Brian think she wasn’t used to being shut down so abruptly. He felt bad about being rude but he certainly didn’t want to lead her on. He definitely didn’t want her to know he’d managed to save a substantial nest egg over the years or about the additional funds he’d received from both Michael and Brandon’s life insurance policies, which had named him sole beneficiary. The funds didn’t set easy with him, but truth was, he could buy a house anywhere in the country and be mortgage free.

  He took her hand, trying to soften the blow. “I do love meeting new people, though, and I would love to hear all about you. Did you grow up around here?”

  The sheriff gasped, and Brian knew by his reaction he could stop worrying about how he was going to spend the rest of his afternoon. He’d bet every dime he had on the fact Rose Akins was a talker, knowing he wouldn’t lose. Rose brightened considerably. Smiling, she admitted, “I did!”

  The waitress came by with their checks, and Dodd grabbed his and stood quickly, announcing he needed to get back to the station. Brian grabbed the slip of paper from him. “I was buying you lunch, remember, Sheriff?”

  The sheriff tipped his hat to him. “Thank you, Doctor. Next time’s on me.”