The Con

by L M Bee

Arthur nudged Sophia, with a massive grin on his face. “Yeah, but you were the one that scammed the scammer and got Mum’s money back!”

  “Honestly, it’s Bernard and his London contact, Jake Mann, we should be thanking,” replied Sophia humbly. “Without their help, none of this would have been possible.”

  “I don’t know how to thank everyone,” sobbed Mary, overwhelmed with relief.

  “Did you see his face when the police handcuffed him?” shrieked Titty.

  “Yeah, comical! Like he was in the right and everyone else was in the wrong!” sniggered Arthur. “His ego’s bigger than planet Jupiter!”

  “He’s not right in the head,” declared Kitty decisively. “Not wired right up top!”

  A couple of Bruno de Berger’s officers were still taking photographs, whilst the rest were preparing to leave. Bernard’s head popped round the door, looking hassled but delighted, obviously run off his feet with the rapid turn of events.

  “Who’d like hot chocolate before bedtime to celebrate?” he cheered.

  “Me!” cried everyone.

  “Okay, I’ll order hot chocolate for everyone – and I suggest we drink it on the catwalk!” he proposed with a smirk.

  “On the catwalk?” questioned Kitty, pulling a funny face at him.

  “Why ever not?” replied Bernard. “Sophia’s catwalk design was inspirational, Monet’s Water Lilies. A work of art. Deserves to be admired one last time before it’s dismantled and taken away in the morning. Everything should be back to normal by lunchtime. That reminds me, you’re all invited to a special lunch tomorrow before leaving for the airport. Pack your cases first, and we’ll have lunch at one o’clock. But right now, I think we all deserve some hot chocolate to wind down after all the excitement – with marshmallows too!”

  “Yummy,” exclaimed Titty, “Mr Bojangles loves marshmallow!”

  They all gathered on the arched blue bridge, mugs in hand, leaning over the handrail admiring the water lilies and weeping willows one last time.

  “I’ll be sad to leave tomorrow afternoon,” sighed Mary.

  “Me too,” chimed Arthur and Titty in unison.

  “Look, there’s Bruno!” announced Kitty. “Coming to join us?” she shouted cheerfully.

  “Good evening,” saluted Bruno cheerily, gratefully accepting a mug of hot chocolate. “Can’t thank you all enough for your help. We’ve been wanting to rid the Riviera of those con artists for years, but never managed to catch them before. Thanks to your team effort, we’ve done it!”

  “Three cheers for team effort,” shouted Arthur, raising his mug. “Hip hip!”

  “Hooray!” shouted everyone in unison.

  After three cheers, Kitty eyed Bruno de Berger.

  “What’s the latest on those rotten scumbags? Are they locked up yet?”

  “Yes. Delighted to report that they’re both safely behind bars in the local police station, where they’ll remain in custody until the trial. I’ve had a word with the judge already, he’s keen for the case to be tried as soon as possible, maybe even as early as next week. We’ve got enough evidence to put the pair of them away for the rest of their lives.”

  “Thank the Lord,” whooped Mary.

  Bruno carried on with his little speech. “You might be interested to know, we unearthed some rather extraordinary information about their backgrounds. In the lead up to this evening’s drama, obviously we made contact with their last known place of work, a local theatre. Turns out the manager there started his career at a small theatre in England, at the same time as Oliver and Maureen Harrison – their first jobs after leaving school.”

  His audience was riveted, captivated by Bruno’s every word.

  “And?” prompted Bernard, eager to hear more.

  “Well, it was a combination of two things really that lead us to this extraordinary discovery,” continued Bruno. “Firstly, the manager at the local theatre kept referring to them as 'twins', which made my ears prick up. And secondly, when we conducted a thorough forensic search of the Airstream caravan, we found an old school annual hidden in a battered suitcase under the bed. Date of publication coincides with their final year at school.”

  Putting down his mug to unzip a leather document folder, he produced a hardback book, and swiftly flicked through it to the page marked with a yellow Post-It note.

  “There,” he said, holding up the yearbook and pointing to two black-and-white portrait photographs. “Both in the same year at school. Twins!”

  “Twins?” echoed everyone in shocked unison.

  “Yes. Fraternal twins!”

  “What does fraternal mean?” queried Kitty.

  “Brother and sister twins. Not necessarily identical, but born within moments of each other.”

  “Not husband and wife then?” quizzed Sophia, perplexed.

  “They were fraternal twins living as husband and wife.”

  “Masquerading as a married couple?” interrogated Mary.

  “Yes, changed Maureen’s name by deed poll, so they could get married,” replied Bruno. “We’ve also unearthed a copy of their fraudulent marriage certificate.”

  The children looked spellbound.

  “But it’s against the law for a brother and sister to marry,” stated Sophia.

  “Incest!” sneered Kitty, curling her lip in disgust.

  “Kitty’s right,” confirmed Bruno. “Yet they lived as husband and wife, sharing a bed, as you saw in the Airstream.”

  “But what if they’d had children?” queried Titty, looking appalled.

  “They were unable to have children. Apparently Maureen had an accident in her last year at school, which meant she could never get pregnant. But also, incest laws prohibit brothers and sisters having children.”

  Bruno studied their faces, enthralled and appalled, before continuing.

  “Turns out Oliver and Mo have never been apart. Together since birth, never ever been separated. Mo discovered her talent for disguises through her work in the theatre. Harrison’s always had a talent for acting, apparently did quite well in his early years on stage, but born a con artist. Scientists believe genes load the gun and the environment pulls the trigger. They’ve been pulling scams and fleecing people their entire lives. Bizarrely, they used to nickname their victims, discussing them in much the same way that parents talk about their children. Unable to have children themselves, their victims became their child substitutes, a common interest shared between the two of them. Strange but true, literally their way of life. Must admit their marriage is hard to stomach, freaky but not unheard of.”

  “Genetic sexual attraction,” stated Bernard.

  “What the hell’s that?” grimaced Kitty, wrinkling her nose.

  “Falling in love with your brother or sister,” stated Bernard.

  “Ugh, gross!” grimaced Titty, gurning at her brother.

  “What a hideous thought,” declared Arthur.

  “Absolutely no fucking way!” howled Kitty.

  Chapter 38

  The next morning everyone looked tired and bleary-eyed, hardly surprising after their late night and all the drama.

  “I’m looking forward to going back to work for a rest!” joked Sophia.

  “What’s going to happen about the farmhouse project?” enquired Mary. “You were supposed to be choosing sub-contractors this week and the sting took precedence.”

  “Bernard’s so pleased they’ve been arrested, he’s not bothered about a delay on the farmhouse. He said there’s no pressure to get it done by a particular date, so if he’s happy I’m happy. I imagine it’ll become his new hobby, something to keep him occupied during early retirement. He’s suggested I come back when I’m ready, and we’ll pick up where we left off.”

  “Such a poppet, couldn’t be easier!”

  The hotel gardens were buzzing, in every direction decorations from last night were being dismantled. The sea of fluorescent yellow jackets had returned, like ants swarming over every surface.

  T
he cherry blossoms were being loaded back onto lorries, a small crane was being used to lift the weeping willows out of the deep end, while the bridge and catwalk were being dismantled by a gang in wetsuits. Anna Lovushka’s party scene was disappearing in front of their eyes. Bernard’s prediction was spot on, as always, it would all be back to normal by lunchtime.

  Back in her room, Sophia was packing the last things into her suitcase. Pausing as she held the turquoise notebook from Bernard, she admired the silver letters stamped on the front: ‘Hôtel d’Eau Bleue’. She flicked through it and smiled at her hastily scribbled notes: Hollywood star – Oscar winning performance.

  In the middle of a blank page in large capital letters, CON THE CON ARTIST followed by a row of exclamation marks. What a learning curve that had been. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined playing a con artist, scamming back money scammed from a friend, in front of fifty spectators. Nobody would ever believe her, it just didn’t sound feasible, an experience she would never forget.

  Mary had piled everything on her bed ready to pack. She stood and stared at the rose gold MacBook and iPhone, lying side by side on the bedspread, and shuddered. They would always hold horrible memories; no way she wanted to keep them, she’d find a new home for them next week. If only she hadn’t lost her old phone. Tired and battered, but she’d loved it – she’d give anything to have Robbie Williams back again. Maybe Sophia had been right after all, perhaps that rotten scoundrel had got rid of her old phone so he could monitor the new one. Let’s face it, Annabel had been hired by him to do a specific job, and with hindsight she’d been suspiciously keen to set up the new MacBook, offering to sync it with the new iPhone. What else had she synced it to? Had the con artists been monitoring every call, text and email?

  Bernard knocked on the pool house door. Titty opened it with Mr Bojangles on one shoulder, Arthur and Kitty behind her.

  “Morning all, just thought you’d like to know, I’m sending my team of cleaners down here in half an hour. They’ll whip round this place from top to bottom, have it spick and span in no time.”

  “Very kind of you,” Arthur thanked him, spotting a piece of popcorn on the floor and surreptitiously pushing it under the sofa with his toe.

  “Thank you so much,” gushed Kitty with relief. Housework had never been her strong point, particularly since discovering nail bars.

  “Great. See you later,” said Bernard. “If you’ve finished packing, leave your bags in reception. We’re all congregating in the bar for a quick drink before lunch, see you there.” He smiled, gave them a jolly wave and sauntered off.

  As Titty closed the door she turned to Arthur with a mischievous look. “Wish we could take the popcorn machine home with us.”

  “Mum’s so relieved, she’ll probably buy you one if you ask,” he replied kindly.

  “Ooh, do you think she’s changed her tune enough for me get my brows done?” chanced Kitty.

  “Doubtful,” replied Titty. “She’s not keen for you to get any more stuff done to your face. Anyway you don’t need it, you’re beautiful as you are.”

  “Aww, thanks Sis!” beamed Kitty, giving her little sister a big squeeze.

  When they’d all assembled in the bar, drinks in hand, Bernard coughed for attention.

  “If you’re all ready, I suggest we move out to the garden where my staff have erected a special table for our lunch.” Smirking at Kitty and Titty, he added, “Girls, I hear you were both particularly fond of the pale pink cherry blossoms. We’ve held some back to create a fairytale forest around our table in the garden.”

  “Aww,” cried everyone, “how lovely.”

  “Thought you’d like that,” beamed Bernard, “a little nod to our elaborate trap!”

  Bernard, Sophia, Mary and her three children strolled along the garden path together towards the pale pink copse. A thick border of cherry blossoms surrounded a rectangular table, laid with a blue and white Provençal cotton tablecloth, bright azure blue plates and turquoise glasses.

  “Aww, it’s beautiful,” gasped Kitty.

  “Pretty as a picture,” approved Sophia.

  “Bernard, you think of everything,” smiled Mary and squeezed his arm.

  “There’s an extra place setting,” pointed out Kitty.

  “Yes,” said Bernard. “I’m hoping Bruno will be able to join us too.”

  “Excellent,” said Mary.

  “So he should!” agreed Sophia. “We’d never have caught those toe-rags without him.”

  Bernard directed everyone to where he wanted them to sit, seating himself between Sophia and Mary, and leaving an empty chair for Bruno between Mary and Arthur.

  “Am I too late?” joked Bruno, bustling towards them through the cherry blossoms. “Claude and Genevieve Bisset send grateful thanks to you all, delighted their cherished sports car has been returned to them in one piece – it was found hidden under a tarpaulin in the service yard behind the theatre!”

  Within moments Bernard’s staff appeared with food and drink. Waiters pouring wine and water as fast as everyone could drink it, with a constant stream of delicious things being plonked in the middle of the table: large Provençal pottery bowls of salad from Hôtel d’Eau Bleue’s organic vegetable garden; colourful plates of tomatoes, roasted peppers and white asparagus; wicker baskets brimming with artisan bread; and wooden boards of salamis and handmade cheeses – typical ingredients from Provence, all locally sourced.

  “This looks absolutely delicious,” beamed Mary. “Bernard, thank you for all your kindness and generosity towards me and my family – and Sophia, who’s a member of the family too!” Everyone cheered.

  When they’d finished eating, Bernard stood up and tapped his glass with a spoon for attention. Everyone round the table looked up at him.

  “I would just like to say a few words.”

  After a few glasses of wine the atmosphere was jovial.

  “Not too many I hope,” joked Bruno, and everyone chuckled.

  “Seriously,” continued Bernard. “I want to thank you all for taking part in our elaborate trap to snare those infamous con artists. They’ve plagued the Riviera for years, ruthlessly fleecing victims and leaving a bitter taste in everyone’s mouths. Bruno my old friend, I must thank you for leading the operation, your team excelled themselves. The hidden cameras and surveillance monitors in the pool house were an excellent arrangement. We all enjoyed spying on the party, witnessing some memorable antics, not least Anna Lovushka throwing her dog in the pool!”

  Everyone laughed and jeered, as Sophia tried to shout over the noise, “Oi, excuse me, Fifi jumped!”

  The mischievous twinkle in Sophia’s eyes made it difficult to tell whether or not she was telling the truth.

  “Yeah, yeah,” roared Arthur and Kitty, “pull the other one, Sophia!”

  Bernard continued, “I can’t thank you all enough. I know this has been particularly hard for Mary – a terrible, terrible experience that could have wrecked her life forever. But every cloud has a silver lining, in this case, her three children: Arthur, Kitty and Titty please stand up. The three of you deserve to be commended for your exemplary behaviour. The unconditional love and support you’ve shown your mother is probably the main reason she’s been able to pull through this traumatic ordeal. You have all been truly marvellous, well done!”

  Mary beamed as all the adults clapped her children. Arthur and Titty looked mildly flattered, but bashful about being under the spotlight. The opposite of Kitty who lapped up the compliments, and confidently beamed her bright white smile round the table, loving the limelight. The children sat back down, and Bernard continued.

  “Finally, I would like to thank our very special leading lady.”

  Everyone clapped and cheered loudly, Bernard persevered over the noise.

  “When I first told Sophia about the plan that Bruno and I had hatched up, you should have seen her face!” Everyone roared with laughter. “She was horrified and tried every excuse in the book to
wriggle out of it. But after much discussion, and a bit of tuition, I have to say she did a sterling job. As you all know, my last words of advice to her were, 'Imagine you’re a Hollywood movie star, performing an Oscar-winning role.' My goodness, didn’t she pull that off! What an outstanding performance, and a very plausible con artist, my dear!”

  A cacophony of noise ensued with loud shouts and cheers, accompanied by everyone banging on the table to make as much noise as they possibly could.

  “Oscar winner,” cheered Kitty over the din.

  “Sophia’s a star,” shouted Titty. Mr Bojangles sat on her shoulder waving a cherry blossom.

  “Speech!” boomed Arthur.

  “Speech! Speech!” shouted everyone.

  Blushing from so many compliments, Sophia reluctantly stood up. Eventually the noise died down and she could make herself heard.

  “Oscar winner,” cheered Kitty one last time.

  “I don’t know what to say,” mumbled Sophia, still pink in the face. “But thank you, thank you to all of you. This was a tremendous team effort. Without the participation of Mary and her three amazing children, we would never have gathered enough evidence to convict those criminals. And Bernard and Bruno – what can I say? Remarkable men. It was their idea to create the elaborate trap, unbelievably ambitious in its detail, but they pulled it off with bells on.”

  Everyone clapped heartily.

  “Bruno, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing us all to feel safe throughout the entire operation. The efficiency of your team was remarkable, please thank them for looking after Mary and her children too. This has been a truly unforgettable experience. Something I never imagined doing, even in my wildest dreams, but thrilled to bits we’ve pulled it off and successfully snared those scumbags. May I propose a toast? As this was a monumental team effort, I would like us to toast each other. So, if you could all please stand and raise your glasses to our team effort.”

  “To our team effort,” repeated everyone in unison, sipping from their glasses, before sitting down again and starting to chat.

  Much to everyone’s surprise Mary remained standing, and cleared her throat, before reaching for a small cardboard gift box on the table in front of her.