Ties That Bind Us

by Nicole Knight

  “Hey.” I put my hands on both of his cheeks and forced him to meet my eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” he said, shaking his head and snapping out of his daze. “It was just . . . fuck, I had a bad day at work, and the only thing that got me through it was the thought of seeing you tonight. I couldn’t help myself.”

  I bit my lip, not sure how to respond. Part of me was screaming to ask him what had been so bad, but the other part knew it was probably difficult for him to talk about.

  “I’m sorry I ruined dinner.” He shook his head in frustration. He seemed in such disarray, such a stark contrast to his usual calm and collected personality.

  “Nick, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m just worried about you. You seem . . .” I wasn’t even sure how to finish that sentence. Stressed? Lost? Scary?

  “I killed someone today,” he said flatly, staring back at me with such confliction in his face.

  His abruptness caught me off guard. I pressed my lips tightly together, not trusting what was about to come out of them. I wasn’t naïve enough to think this was the first time, but it was different to hear the words out loud. Nick had killed someone. My Nick. My future husband. My head tried to get me to hightail it right out of here, but my heart saw the amount of pain he was in. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him no matter how logical I knew it was. I couldn’t run from this, from him. I recognized how much he needed me to tell him it was okay, that he did what he had to do, that I understood. He needed me to make some kind of sense of it, to talk him off the ledge and make the world seem right again.

  This was ripping him apart, and in a sense, that was comforting to me. He didn’t like to kill. It pained him, it hurt him, it made him crazy. That was so different from what I was used to. All the men I had grown up around had no problem killing. Sometimes they even did it for sport. If anything, this only further proved my notion that Nick was different.

  Nick stared back at me expectantly, but the right words wouldn’t come. Instead, I reached forward, pulling him closer to me. He hesitated at first, but then came forward willingly.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I peppered his neck with kisses, running my tongue along his tender skin slowly.

  “What are you doing?” Nick asked, his voice unsure.

  “Let me help you,” I whispered, running my fingertips across his forearm.

  “Ava, you don’t need to do this. You should be repulsed by me.” He was projecting his own feelings of himself onto me.

  “You’re a good man, Nick. What happened today doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t change how I feel about you. I know it’s part of your job,” I continued. “You’re frustrated, why don’t you take some of that out on me?”

  Our body language would help when words failed me. I couldn’t make this okay or any better for him, but I could show him I wasn’t going anywhere and that I understood. Oh, how I understood. I had never had to kill anyone but I had been forced to do so many things in this life that I didn’t want to do because that was the nature of the Mafia.

  A genuine smile spread across Nick’s lips, and he leaned forward until our foreheads were touching. “You’re way too good for this world, you know that?”

  Chapter 15

  Ava

  Wind ripped through campus as I hurried from my class to meet Nick across the street for lunch. My morning had been nearly unbearable as I sat in ethics, almost falling asleep to the sound of my professor’s voice, so when Nick asked if I wanted to meet for lunch, I welcomed the distraction.

  “You know I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me.” The voice behind me turned my blood to ice.

  Jimmy.

  “Hi, Jimmy.” I tried to put on my bravest face and turned around. “I’ve just been busy.” That was a lie. I had been avoiding him like the plague since Bella and I had seen him at that club, but seeing him on this street corner was about the last thing I expected.

  I knew Jimmy enough to know he was bad news, and I knew myself well enough to know he could find a way to break me down eventually. The burning in my veins was a painful reminder. I didn’t want anything to do with Jimmy anymore, but he knew my weaknesses, and exactly how to play them against me to keep me drawn in just where he wanted me. That had been his intention the other night; he knew one taste would pull me back in and have me craving the high for days. I was stronger now than I had been before, and I wasn’t going to fall back into my old habits. The other night had been a slipup, but I wouldn’t let it happen again.

  Hearing Nick talk about how concerned he had been for me was eye opening. Whenever my father found out I was out using or drinking, he was angry and infuriated that I had done something that could reflect badly on him. Nick was genuinely concerned, and that made me feel even more ashamed that I had let things get so out of hand. Jimmy was like an angry wasp, though. The more you slapped it away, the more intent it became on attacking you. That’s why I had been doing everything in my power to avoid him.

  “I’ve heard getting married will do that to you.” Jimmy smirked. “Caponelli was pretty pissed when he found you in the club the other night. Not exactly his style?

  “I never expected you to let him make all of your decisions for you.” Jimmy scowled, reaching into his pocket and flashing a little bag of white powder.

  My throat dried at the sight of it. “Jimmy, I can’t. I told you the other night, I don’t want it. Take your cocaine and stay away from me. I’m clean.” I clenched my jaw, hoping my resolve could stay as strong as I needed it to.

  “Clean? You and I both know you won’t be able to stay away long. It makes you feel too good. Makes the stress disappear.” Jimmy teased me menacingly. “Wonder what your new fiancé will think about that habit of yours.”

  I cringed at the idea of Nick finding out just how bad everything had been. It seemed like a lifetime ago, like I wasn’t that person anymore. I had worked too hard to get myself to a good place to let Jimmy to jeopardize that.

  “Relax, princess. That’s not why I’m here.” I knew better than to ever relax around Jimmy. At even the slightest sight of my guard coming down, he would pounce. “I’m actually here because I have a business proposition for you.”

  “What sort of business proposition?” The only thing I ever really knew Jimmy to do for work was deal drugs, and I wanted nothing to do with that.

  “My father is looking for an intern at his law firm. He heard you were looking for an internship for next semester, and they’ve got space at his firm. It’s the only paid internship you’ll find.”

  I cautiously took the card he was holding out. I did need an internship, and a part of me felt proud at the offer, but Jimmy never did anything without some kind of all ulterior motive. I had a hard time believing he didn’t have something to do with this.

  “I know you’re in a rush, just call him and find out about the details. It could be good for you.” Jimmy sounded somewhat sincere. He reached into his pocket again and pulled out the little baggie, pressing it into my palm. “Just in case,” he whispered harshly, and disappeared before I could protest.

  “Jimmy, wait! I don’t want this!”

  He ignored me, picking up his pace and disappearing around the corner. I thought about dropping the bag, but I was in public and could get into all kinds of trouble for even having it. Slipping it into my pocket, I vowed to flush it down the toilet the second I could.

  Now I was running late, so I jogged across the street. My interaction with Jimmy had left me completely flustered, and I could only hope Nick wouldn’t pick up on that.

  When I walked into the little café, Nick was already sitting at a table with Zane and Leo. I felt a little disappointed that they were joining us. I loved the both of them, but between my school schedule and Nick working so much, we rarely had any time just the two of us.

  Nick’s face lit up when he saw me, immediately washing away the irritation building inside of me. Just being in his
presence was calming. I made my way to the table and slid into the open seat. Nick leaned across it and kissed me.

  “Hey, baby.” He grinned.

  “Sorry I’m running so late, I got stuck with a professor.” The lie was off my lips before I could stop it.

  “No problem, we haven’t been here long.” Nick’s hand found a resting spot on my thigh.

  Zane scoffed. “I think you are the first person in the world I’ve ever seen Nick tolerate tardiness for.” He and Leo laughed.

  “Would you two shut up?” Nick rolled his eyes, not appreciating their joke as much as everyone else was.

  “Well, he was late the other night. Guess we’re even now,” I teased, patting his arm playfully.

  “Holding him accountable—I like it.” Leo chuckled.

  “Why don’t you two fuck off and go actually do your jobs?” Nick grumbled, shooting both of them an icy glare. I hoped his sour mood had to do with what they were talking about before I got here and not with me.

  “Gladly.” They both stood up and we said our good-byes.

  Nick loosened up a little bit once they were gone.

  “You seem a little tense today.” I rested my hand on top of his, and he gave me a wry smile.

  “And you’re a little feisty,” he teased. “What’s got you all riled up? How was your morning?”

  “It was fine. Class was boring, I might have gotten a job offer though.” Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut? Nick would probably lose his mind if he found out I was late because I ran into Jimmy. How was I going to explain that his father was trying to offer me a job?

  “Really?” His foul mood was now completely gone. “That’s fantastic. Doing what?”

  “I don’t know too much about it yet, but it would be with Bradford and Chambers. I need an internship to graduate, and they offer a paid one. I don’t know too much about it, but I think it’s worth checking out.” I waited on eggshells for Nick’s wrath, but it never came. He processed my words carefully before speaking.

  “Bradford wouldn’t be related to Jimmy, now would it?”

  “It’s his dad’s firm.” I hesitated.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  Honestly, no, I didn’t think it was. Nothing with Jimmy came without strings, and I wanted to be free and clear of him.

  “Probably not. I’m sure there are a lot of internships I can find like that one.”

  “And any one of those firms would be lucky to have you. Although you know you don’t have to work if you don’t want to, right?”

  “Thank you, but I need a job. I can’t just stay home all day.” Marriage was already pushing me enough out of my comfort zone; I needed some type of outlet.

  “Not even with our children?” Nick tilted his head suggestively.

  My eyes widened, wanting to put a hard stop to the kid conversation right now. “I’m talking about now. We’ve got several years to think about kids.”

  Nick bit his lip and looked away when I said that. I could tell he wasn’t satisfied with my response, and had other ideas in mind. I chose not to pry to avoid an altercation.

  “You’re right.” Nick’s tone was shallow, jumping on the same page as me. “Let’s not ruin the day. Are you excited for tonight?”

  “What’s tonight?” Confusion flashed in my mind.

  “Don’t tell me you forgot,” Nick teased, a smug smirk plastered on his face, waiting a second for me to process. “The dinner at your parents’ house? Our families getting together for the first time?”

  “Damn it.” I had completely forgotten about that. Nick’s entire family was supposed to be coming over and having dinner with mine.

  Nick chuckled. “Oh come on, it won’t be that bad!”

  Nick

  Six hours later, Ava and I sat at a large, beautifully decorated dining-room table in the midst of both of our families. Sonya had spared no expense on the dinner, serving several courses and making sure everyone was stuffed to the brim.

  So far, everything had gone well. My father and Alessandro sat at the end of the table, lost in their own conversation for most of the evening, and I had managed to keep myself from bashing Alessandro’s head in when I saw him. That was a major feat considering the things Ava had told me about him over the last few weeks. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone disrespecting or hurting her, and it made me sick that it had happened at the hands of her own father. I was disgusted by the man on every single level, and I couldn’t get her out of this place soon enough.

  I enjoyed the rest of her family much more, though, especially watching Ava interact with her sisters. Their joking and banter reminded me so much of my brothers and me. Bella was going to be a hard sell, but it seemed like Angie was already totally on board with me marrying Ava. It was nice to have her support because I knew how close Ava was with her sisters.

  As a pleasant surprise, even Vince was starting to come around. He had kept his distance for most of the night, but he hadn’t tried to start anything with me, which I considered a victory. He was fiercely protective of Ava, and I could never fault him for that. Leo spoke with him for a while, running interference for me, but Vince was mostly occupied with his wife and daughter. Seeing him with his family was like seeing an entirely different person. I was used to his ruthless, hot-headed side, but he was anything but with his beautiful little girl. She clearly had him wrapped around her finger, and as I watched them interact, I found myself wondering what mine and Ava’s daughter would be like.

  I rested my hand on Ava’s thigh as I normally did, just to let her know I was there. She was turned slightly away from me, talking with Bella. I loved watching her in situations like these, where she was comfortable and relaxed, getting small glimpses of her personality and soaking in every detail of her. The corner of her lips turned up slightly as she spoke, and her cheeks turned rosy from the wine. She didn’t like being the center of attention, but she thrived there, working a room and making everyone feel like they were the most important one there. It was incredible to me how captivated by her everyone was, yet she was so humble to that fact.

  All I could think about was getting her out of here and back to my house, and I didn’t notice Bella getting up from the table.

  “Are you okay?” Ava said quietly, snapping me back to reality.

  “Absolutely.” I leaned over, brushing my lips against her cheek. “I just thought you were talking to Bella.”

  “She went to get us some more wine.” Ava angled her body toward me, intertwining her ankle with mine underneath the table.

  “You might want to slow down.” I smirked, leaning in and keeping my voice low so she was the only one who could hear me. “I need you completely coherent for what I plan to do to you tonight.”

  Ava’s cheeks turned an even deeper shade of crimson, her seductive eyes focused only on me. Apparently, I had rendered her speechless, and I grinned in satisfaction.

  “And if you keep looking at me like that, I might have to just lay you on this table and fuck you in front of everyone.”

  Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head. “Nick!” She hit my arm, playfully scolding me.

  “Relax. I don’t like an audience. The only eyes I want to see that body”—I looked her up and down, licking my lips—“are my own.”

  Ava rolled her eyes. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

  “Careful, I might follow you.” I watched as her dress rose just the tiniest bit higher on his thighs as she stood. Fuck, I couldn’t wait to get it off of her tonight.

  “Down, boy.” She slapped my hand away from her ass. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she left the room, and fought with every ounce of strength in my body not to follow her. I had to behave; her father and brother were in the room, after all.

  As soon as she got back, I couldn’t contain myself anymore and was ready to go. She was coming back to my place tonight, and I wasn’t going to let her say otherwise. Hell, it was a
bout damn time she moved in anyway.

  We began to say our good-byes, and were all standing in the foyer, when my dad began to speak, holding my mom’s hand. I wrapped my arm around Ava protectively, pulling her into me.

  “Alessandro, Sonya, we just want to thank you both for opening your home to us tonight. We are thrilled to be welcoming Ava into the family and are so glad that we could all put our differences aside to—”

  Vince scoffed loudly, causing everyone to turn to him.

  “Differences?” he hissed. “That’s what you call your son killing my brother?”

  Fuck. Things had gone well, and we were so damn close to getting out of here. Why was he doing this now?

  “Vincent.” Alessandro’s voice held a strong warning but Vince didn’t seem to care. He walked slowly toward us, and I felt Ava tense in my arms.

  “What?” She turned to me in hurt and confusion. “What is he talking about?”

  All the opportunities I had had to tell her over the last few weeks flashed through my mind. Why hadn’t I just fucking explained it? Why had I felt like I needed to keep it from her? It was an accident, I was sure she’d see it that way. Right now, there was nothing I regretted more.

  “You don’t know, do you?” Vince fix his eyes on Ava.

  “That’s enough, Vince!” Alessandro bellowed, charging toward him. Vince threw his grasp off as if it was nothing.

  “You all are content to let this go on, and she doesn’t even know the fucking truth?” Vince yelled to no one in particular, wobbling slightly from the alcohol in his system.

  “Vince, what are you talking about?” Ava looked at him, determined to get some kind of answer.

  “Did you ever think to ask your fucking fiancé how he knew Andrew, Ava?” Vince hissed, venom spewing from his tongue.

  “I think we should go.” I took Ava’s hand, trying to move her toward the door.