Do they need to be so dramatic?
Maybe they did.
Cutting off contact with him completely was the sensate thing she should do, but she couldn’t do it. JP had a magnetic power over her that she couldn’t understand. She ended up convincing JP, managed to speak and try to be just friends, trying to keep her contact.
He replied with a message:
"It isn’t very friendly when I just think making you oral sex"
Again everything was ending in the intention of wanting only sex and Carolina was tired of all that sex talk. At this point Carolina had hoped that he would continue interested in her, just for her having the pleasure to say no to him, like he did to her before, he could start genuinely liking her. She just wanted to feel loved by him that he wanted her for more than just sex because she still had the illusion that they could go out and discover each other. But she couldn’t or wouldn’t tell him, he needed to find out for himself. And she wouldn’t leave Nils if he didn’t change the way he view Carolina. Ignoring the fact that he only thinks about sex with her, which he wants her only for sex was very difficult for Carolina to remain indifferent to everything he told her, when she still has that secret wish to be with him again.
All that talk made her think about the extraordinary sex they had. It had been such a wonderful experience that every time she thought about it, she couldn’t help but blushing. Always maintaining the same posture of an engaged woman, JP didn’t try hard enough to win Carolina to fall back into his arms again. He didn’t get what he expected, and the conversation ended up cooling down naturally and they stopped to communicate with each other over time. Carolina was convinced that he had forgotten her for good and she made a daily effort to forget him too.
Weeks and months passed by, she tried to live a day-a-day the best way she could, from time to time she find herself looking at infinity and thinking about JP, as soon she realized she was doing it, she diverted immediately her mind to work, forcing JP’s image to dissolve in the infinity of her mind.
The worst was over, I was able to put him finally in the past - she thought.
Carolina was sympathetic to many causes and one of them was particularly personal to her, breast cancer. Carolyn's mother had died of cancer when she was young and since then she reads everything she could about breast cancer, learned about charity organizations and what they used to do. Some of them supported the discovery for healing and others support women who were with undergoing treatments. So every now and then she was invited to charity events, and always accepted helping in anyway and actively participates in what they needed.
This time it was an organization that intended to raise funds to open a centre to welcome women while on treatments in the hospital, where they could stay there to rest and recover from chemotherapy. The organization held a charity ball at the Dorchester Hotel in central London. It was a diner gala and dress code was formal, meaning men had to go in a tuxedo and women with long dress.
It had been about six months since Carolina had switch the last message with JP, although she hadn’t forgotten him, the fact that Nils be occupying a very important part of her life made her stop thinking about JP on a daily basis. She overcame the anxiety to contact and thinking about him constantly.
Tonight would be the night Carolina and Nils would appear as a couple in public, many of their friends knew they were together, but Carolina and Nils took it slow and every time they were together they rather be alone then going out to public events. As Nils was a public figure in the fashion industry, he needed to be careful with his image and with what he was putting out there of himself, especially regarding his private life.
For Carolina it was a good thing that he cared and wanted to keep their relationship private. When they started to date almost three years ago, they went public for the first time a couple months after they were together, it catch Carolina entirely by surprise, as she didn’t realize at the time how famous he was. A photo from them went viral online and in the magazines when they walked out together hand in hand from Hakkasan restaurant in London, taken by paparazzi that recognized Nils as a fashion raccoon.
This time Nils said to Carolina he wants to keep it private for as long as possible, she was grateful as she preferred to stay in the shadows as long as she could too. When Nils saw Carolina so enthusiastic helping organizing the gala ball with the charity committee, he knew he needed to be there and support her and her work. So he invited himself to go with her, she was very happy that he was a man who could be at her side when she needed him. Both, friends and the London society in general would be at the ball, she knew it was time to make their relationship public, including the press that loved one gossip from one of the owners from the UK’s largest fashions company with his new relationship. Nils picked Carolina at her house, coming already prepared with his slick and stylish tuxedo, it didn’t really matter what he wore, he looked always very elegant and because he was tall and thin every type of clothes always looked magnificent on him.
He was a man with excellent taste in clothes, it didn’t matter what he was wearing, he looked always very fashionable and everything fit him as costume made, probably they were, but Carolina never asked.
Getting a little nervous about tonight’s development, she knew it was time letting the relationship with Nils move forward, it was the right thing to do, for her, and for Nils. He was the man who loved and respected her as a woman, hoping she could love him back the same way he loves her one day. She started to believe that one day she really would get there, she deserves it and so does Nils. At each passing day she learned to throw away her thoughts about JP whenever they insisted to return. She started genuinely appreciate everything about Nils, every time she was with him.
Sometimes, very rarely now and then when she was alone, her thoughts slipped her mind without authorization to JP, making her missing him, whenever this happened she felt her chest pressed as if something very heavy was trying to crush her. She ended up always feeling guilty to think that she was betraying Nils in thoughts. Replacing comforting thoughts which cut in total JP’s contact was the right solution, she knew he didn’t deserve her, she knew now she was only losing her time by hoping one day he would like her the way Nils likes her. Now more than ever, she was confident that she would forget JP completely one day.
Tonight it would be the night to put JP in the past for good. It would be a special night for Carolina because it would be the beginning of a new stage in Carolina’s life with Nils for a future together. The occasion deserved a special dress and Carolina bought a label and expensive dress for the ball she want Nils to be proud of her. She was about to get to the final touch, Nils rang the door right on time and she was ready to go with him to the event. She wore a long and tight dress-shaped dark blue mermaid, on the top was strapless neckline with heart-shaped embroidered on the edges with bright Swarovski beads with open back, silver-heeled Jimmy Choo sandals, because of the dress length they were not always visible and a silver colour clutch to match.
It wasn’t Carolina custom to dress and wear clothing of expensive labels, but she likes to have a few pieces for special occasions, like tonight. With London’s weather there is always the need of something extra, so she decides to put over her shoulders a long fur coat in white and gray. Carolina looked pleased at the mirror seeing her so elegantly tight up, surprised with herself how amazing she looked tonight. As soon Nils sets eyes on Carolina all her dazzled elegance, he was astounded how beautiful and over the top she looked. She looked at his eyes like a movie star ready for a premiere. He smiled at her, approaching getting near enough to kiss her tenderly.
Without warning he knelt at Carolina’s feet, it took a moment for Carolina to realize what was going on and why Nils was kneeling. Looking at her and pulling out of her tuxedo trousers a small box, at the same time he was opening the small box and looking in her eyes, he pops out the question:
“Carolina you are the most amazing woman I ever met, would you like t
o be my woman, and take me as your husband for the rest of your life?”
She was expecting tonight would be a night of changes, but she wasn’t counting having so many changes in just one night, when he asks her to marry offering her a beautiful diamond ring her heart freezes and all her blood seems to stop pumping in her body. She was completely paralyzed and in shock. She wanted tonight to be a special night, but not that special, it was too much for her, and maybe it was just too much too soon. Caught completely off guard she didn’t feel quite ready to move already to get married. Again JP clouded her thoughts, feeling numb not knowing what to answer, but she knew what would be the right answer. Nils waited kneeled patiently a few seconds, what seem to be an eternity for both for an answer.
The only thing Carolina was able to do, was meeting and hugging him with tender she couldn’t say a word. She couldn’t open her mouth. She was to terrified saying the wrong words to him. Recovering slowly, she takes her hands to Nils shrugged making an effort to raise him from the ground. He looks at her confused.
"I thought this was what you wanted"
"And I want to but you caught me completely off guard and I was chocked, sorry"
They sat for a moment in Carolina’s coach, without saying another word he reaches the ring inside the box and puts the diamond on Carolina’s finger. She let him put the ring on her finger, she was not sure she was ready to take the next step, but still thought it would take some time to planning the wedding it would give her time to get used to the idea, it was the right decision. After the ring in her finger, she looked at the ring and to Nils, she knew he was expecting a comment and said to him:
“It’s the most beautiful ring I ever seen”.
Hugging and given him a sweet kiss.
They left the apartment engaged.
When they finally arrived at the hotel, they were escorted from the entrance to the hall before the venue room where they were served with a flute of champagne. The waiters were very busy handing out champagne making all guests welcomed and happy, it was an evening with a good start. The hall was filling up with guests while they took a sip of champagne they could appreciate art pieces for the silent action displayed all around. The silent auction was usually done online, so there were at each table 2 to 3 Ipads with capacity for 10 people, with the description and prices of the products being auctioned. All guests could bid as they were assigned to a respective password. The auction would follow throughout dinner and only at the end of the dinner, the action would be closed and the winner known. Everyone could see the name in the Ipads who bids what and for how much. When the room opened everyone started to step in and all guests could see a huge placard which whom would be with whom on each table.
As Carolina and Nils had just bought two places, they would stay with four couples more, who they probably didn’t knew who they were. It took them a few minutes to discover their table, and with great surprise they had as tablemates one of the greatest writers of England with his wife, a very friendly couple who was visible a big age difference the wife was definitely a wife-trophy, the other two couples were Carolina and Nils social friends, they meet before in several events when they were together for the first time, both couples were pleasantly surprised to see them together as a couple again.
The dinner went super fun with all people at the table, all the guests were delighted with the wonderful dinner there was a well-known band playing and singing. Carolina didn’t pay attention to the name because she was animatedly talking with one of the couples. She had to look into the book that was filled with the full night program, when she ready who the band was, she realize it was a band that had recently won a contest on television.
After dinner, everyone wanted to have fun, some wanted to dance while others were visibly curious about the auction outgoing to win the chosen pieces, so they continued to bid on the silent auction spending millions to help the cause. Carolina and Nils bid on a painting both liked, was a well-known painter of modern art, they were hoping to have their first acquisition for their future together. Life was starting to make sense to Carolina was starting to lose herself to Nils and seeing him as the man for the rest of her life. As they were busy trying to see if they were still in the race for the painting, Daniel arrived to greet them and as soon he saw Carolina’s ring he showed genuinely happiness giving congratulations to both, making Carolina feel a little bit intimidated by the situation when she hadn’t even had time to adapt to the idea that she was engaged to Nils.
After Nils and Carolina greet all the people they knew and be introduced to many others, they went to the dance floor and danced music from the 80s together, he wasn’t a great dancer but it was fun to watch him, he struggled to follow Carolina, who slides on the dance floor if she had been born to dance. Carolina had always loved dancing and as soon she hears music and had a place to dance, she would dance and it was as if the music beats gives instructions to her body to move in agreed rhythms and making her sexy to the observes eyes. As she dances, Nils grabs her from behind and hugs her.
While they were dancing hugged to each other, Carolina closed her eyes and she open her eyes again just to embraced the moment and record in her mind all that environment they were, looked at the exit door and she seemed to glance JP, but she thought it couldn’t be possible because they were in a huge city and there was always lots of things going on, and she couldn’t see JP in this kind of events. It wouldn’t be for sure right there in the same place that Carolina was, not tonight. She found that the unconscious desire to return to see JP was so much that she imagined him somewhere.
She turned her eyes away from the door, closing them trying to focus on the steady hands of Nils on her hips, she wanted to forget the mirage that appeared in her mind, trying to forget and having fun with Nils dancing. But now she hadn’t the same energy as before, she was a little bit upset because she was having such a great time with Nils, and there it was JP back in her mind, it was not fair to her or Nils. She didn’t know if it was the fact that she realized she was engaged now or was because her thoughts slipped to JP, thinking she had seen him, she felt tired suddenly almost depressed and just wanted to go home. She was completely off and didn’t felt like going home to Nils place tonight, she wanted to go to her house, she wanted to be alone, and she needed the comfort and safety of her home and to be alone. Before she gets the courage to tell Nils she wants to go out of there as soon as possible, decides to go to the toilet and put some water on her face, having a little bit of air and maybe after she would feel better and could change her mind and continue partying with Nils and maybe go with him home. She stretched to reach Nils’s ear and told him she was going to the toilet, she wouldn’t take long.
When walking towards the exit door she watched back the busy room with that entire happy people dancing and drinking, everyone seemed to be having fun. Even glanced at the room trying to see JP, but there was no sign of him. While she was walking the huge marble atrium she starts to feel more and more relaxed, the anxiety that started minutes ago at the gala room was calming down and she felt a little more serene. Following slowly the instructions to find the toilet, she finds the access to a narrow corridor ending in the toilet facilities for men and women. The hallway was empty and cold, making Carolina feeling good, giving at the same time a shiver from the cold.
Carolina was about 3 meters to open the door that leads to the women's toilet, when she saw the men’s door opening and a man getting out.
Her eyes almost jumped from their orbits, the jaw dropped without order and her body froze completely, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing, JP was a few meters away in front of her. She was not going crazy after all, and her mind wasn’t preaching tricks, he was right there in front her. Carolina’s body immediately stops responding to the brain commands at the same time she saw him. She stood perfectly still in the middle of the hall and she turned white from fear and shock. Felling her whole body had stopped working, she couldn’t move, and she was unable make a s
ound.
When JP looks up to take a look to who was in front of him, he recognized her immediately despite almost one year had gone by and they haven’t seen each other. He also stops and stares at her a few meters away. It had been a long time since the first and only date they had. He looked the same, awesome as she remembered him.
Carolina wasn’t sure if he stopped because he was trying to remember where he knew her or stopped because he expected her to take the initiative to start any conversation. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, just the way he looked at her, that hunter look, the eagle look, those intense blue eyes that she had never forgotten. JP looked at her without saying a word. She remained motionless and mute. He continued without doubts having an intoxicating effect on Carolina.
She was paralyzed in front of him, now seemed that her heart wanted to jump from her mouth, she felt pulse racing and tingling in the fingertips, she couldn’t think and didn’t know what to do, starting walking towards Carolina always in a firm walk looking in her eyes, he approaches so close she felt his breath on her face, his body heat and his smell.
Those smell that she dreamed so many times. So often she would like to return to see and smell was now so near on front of her.
"I almost didn’t recognize you, you look stunning tonight. I need to have you again"
Instinctively she takes a step back and he steps forward to her, getting too close again. She takes another step back and gets stuck between the wall and JP’s body, they were there looking at each other’s eyes for a few moments, before he decides to slips his body against hers the moment after, kissing her while searching for her hands and hold them, pressing her against the wall with his body.
Carolina is so astonished and confused with what is happening, none of it seemed to be real, and it felt like she was living a dream, those in which she imagined a perfect reunion with JP. But it wasn’t a dream, now it was a nightmare because she had just become engaged to Nils. Here she was being now kissed by the man who despised and diminished her as a woman. The touch of his lips in her lips, his body against her body, she feels the unique scent from him and it was enough to make her shivering in all nerve endings of her body that she is still madly in love for him, as Carolina regains consciousness of what was happening, coming slowly back to reality she realizes that none of this makes sense. She begins to feel her anger for him having the nerve to come near her, and starting kissing her just like that, regardless of whether she wanted to be kissed by him or not, or if she's with someone or not. He didn’t care about her at all, with anger growing inside her, she pushes him relieving pressure she felt from his body against her and the wall, it was enough for her to get out of this mental prison and without saying a word and without looking back she walked away in a hurry in direction to the ladies toilet.
THE DEAL: Novel Page 8