Any Day Now

by Robyn Carr

  “I was raped,” she said.

  He actually jumped in surprise. He grabbed her upper arms. “Recently?” he asked in a hushed tone.

  “About a year and a half ago.”

  “They catch the guy? Lock him up?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet.”

  “Okay,” he said, a little out of breath. “Sit down. Tell me everything. I mean, tell me what you want to tell me. Just please tell me. How can I be there for you if I don’t know what’s going on?”

  It took her longer to tell him all about the day with the police than it did about the actual assault, but she didn’t leave anything out. At least not intentionally. It was a lot of conversation, a lot of questions. Connie got up from the living room chair to get them bottled water from the refrigerator. He leaned his elbows on his knees, hands clasped to keep control. He scowled and even growled at times.

  “You thought you saw him?” he asked.

  “Several times but I was never sure. I thought he was a nightmare mirage,” she said. “I thought I saw him in Iowa and I actually chased him down and grabbed his arm. It was like temporary insanity—I had to know. It wasn’t him. Up close it didn’t look anything like him. A bunch of times I thought I spotted him and held my breath, but when he turned I realized the guy didn’t look that much like him.”

  “Every time?” he wanted to know.

  “I’m pretty sure the man I saw in Colorado Springs really was him. And I think the man who went to my parents’ farm was him. Connie, I think he’s around. I think he found out where I am. Maybe not exactly where, but approximately. The police told me to be very observant and very cautious.”

  “I don’t know very much about rape victims and what they go through,” he said. “We made love. If there was anything wrong about that, I couldn’t tell. If you don’t like the way I touch you or hold you or—”

  She shook her head. “You were the first since and it was nice. It was epic,” she added with a smile. “The rape counselor said I’d know when I was ready. For a while right after it happened, when I ran to the farm, I was a mess. I couldn’t sleep or eat. I slept with my shoes on! Couldn’t leave the house after dark and even at the house, I’d have these major anxiety attacks. When I did go out in daylight, like to drive to work, it was the country. I could see for miles. I could see no one was following me. Then I went into treatment and they got me set up in some counseling groups. I stayed in one after I was out of rehab, living in a kind of halfway house. I got stronger, very slowly. I even took some self-defense but probably not enough. But I have PTSD, there’s no question about it. I can’t park in a garage again. I can’t even go to the car wash. I can’t even think about going to the movies—there could be someone behind me in the dark. But I can walk on the trails behind the Crossing. In daylight. And I like it inside my little cabin, but I admit, before Molly came along I used to stack things in front of the door. I get freaked out at the weirdest times. I like to get up before the sun’s up and have coffee with Sully but that walk from my cabin to the store...it’s a very long walk. I usually jog.”

  “Oh baby,” he said, stroking her arm. “They need to find him, lock him up...”

  “You think that’ll take care of everything? I’m sure there are other psychopaths out there. I’m going to be afraid forever.” She swallowed. “I want to be free of him. He took away my tears. I can’t cry anymore. I haven’t truly cried since...”

  “Come here, Sierra,” he said, pulling on her hand. She let herself be drawn onto his lap. “I’m proud of you,” he said. “But will you let me take care of you a little bit?”

  “What can you do?”

  “I can’t take the fear away but I’ll do anything you ask.” He pushed her hair back and kissed her neck. “Anything.”

  “I wanted to tell you,” she said. “I always intended to. If all this is too much of a load for you, let’s decide now.”

  “It’s not,” he said.

  “I’m pretty screwed up,” she said.

  “That’s the thing—you’re not. I know people who haven’t been through half of what you have who are wrecks. You’re so strong.”

  “Stubborn,” she said. “That bastard is not going to get any more of my head.”

  “You didn’t tell the police when it happened,” he said.

  “I didn’t then, no. I wonder if I was in shock. I went to the doctor, I ran away, I stayed petrified until...until rehab. I went into rehab because he couldn’t find me there. That’s the only reason I went—I fully intended to ride it out for a month while I thought of how I’d press on. I had no intention of giving up alcohol. I had no intention of changing my life. It all started because I was so afraid of him.”

  “They’re going to find him,” he said.

  “They’re going to want me to testify against him and I’ve been saying for a year and a half that I won’t. That I can’t. But I don’t think I’ll ever be free until I face it head-on,” she said. “I don’t know if I’ll get through it, but I think I have to try.”

  “I’ll be right there,” he said. “A lot of people will be right there. You have a lot of fans.”

  “Oh, Connie, I’m such a load...”

  “Don’t worry about me. I have pretty broad shoulders.”

  “I missed you so much,” she said. “I love you, you know.”

  “I know,” he said. “You didn’t even have to tell me.”

  “How could you know?”

  “Oh, I must be psychic,” he said with a smile. “Or maybe you treat everyone like you treat me?”

  “I might give you some priority,” she said. “Because you’re good to my dog.”

  “I’m going to get you some pepper spray,” he said. “And one of those alarm buttons they advertise on late-night TV. It’s loud enough to bring down buildings.”

  “I have pepper spray. But I’d really like one of those alarm buttons.”

  “See? We make a good team. We’ll be okay.”

  * * *

  For a few days Sierra was tense and worried; her visit with the police brought the whole event to the surface again, made her feel like a victim again. She called Sergeant Tilden of the sexual assault unit four times and each time she got a little more information. The latest news was that, because the suspect was in the wind and they had excellent probable cause to arrest him and prosecute him, they were getting a little help from the FBI. Colorado’s state police were also notified. “Should I be calling the FBI for information?” she asked.

  “Nope,” he said. “I’m still your point man. Call me anytime.”

  She began to calm down. And she had a pair of strong arms around her. Connie brought her comfort and solace.

  Connie was also on a mission. He took her rock climbing a couple of times, which she found exhilarating. He took her to a gym in Denver where there was a self-defense instructor to give her a refresher on some of the moves she’d learned over a year ago. He also introduced her to a couple of new techniques.

  “Why are we doing all this?” she asked.

  “Because, Sierra, you need to bolster your confidence. That’s half the battle.”

  He supplied the alarm button she could attach to her key chain. They took it out in the country to test it and it was deafening. It also alerted his cell phone with her location.

  A couple of weeks had passed since she’d been to Michigan when she told Sully about her situation. The hardest part was seeing this tough, cynical old guy shaken by the information. Later that same day he presented her with a bat. “I thought we could use two bats on the job.”

  “Did you go buy this for me?” she asked.

  “I did,” he said. “Sleep with it under your bed. Put it in the backseat of your car when you’re out.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “Please, don’t b
e upset. I’m working through it.”

  “Of course you are,” he said. “Don’t aim at his head. If he’s got reflexes worth a damn, he’ll stop it with his hands. Aim at his knees. Be crafty—make it look like you’re trying to hit him in the head, then swing lower. Fast. You have to be fast.”

  She smiled at him.

  “Practice,” he said. “And on those nights you’re not with Connie, would you oblige an old man by staying in my house? Just until we can safely put the matter of that bastard’s whereabouts behind us?”

  “I can,” she said. As much as she longed to establish her independence, now might not be the wisest time to push something like that.

  Sierra, with Sully, Connie and Cal all looking out for her, felt a growing sense of confidence. Not enough to relax but enough so that not quite fifty of every sixty seconds was dedicated to the tension and fear of feeling hunted. Then even that began to give way.

  The month of August was busy in every possible way. She was picking up time in the diner as some of the high school waitresses were looking for more afternoons to accommodate their school schedule and there was heavy tourist traffic in the campground, in the town, on the lake, on the trails and roads. The campground was teeming with people and the store was busy; Sully was grateful for Sierra’s help and Sierra was glad to be distracted by the activity. She felt a little safer, never being alone. The last days of summer would peak with Labor Day weekend and after that, life would be quieter.

  “Except for the rut season,” Sully said. “You’ll hear a lot of bugling among the bulls, a few fights over especially attractive cows. Rut season peaks around the end of September. We’ll be seeing some hunters—bow season first, starting in September. And then come the rifle hunters. Around here, mostly bow. At least it’s quieter. And along with the archery season, the leaf peepers show up.”

  Sierra looked forward to observing some of that, at a safe distance.

  The last weeks of summer brought other changes to the little town. For one thing, Connie was so present around Sierra, so affectionate and tender, there was no longer any question as to the disposition of their relationship. He either held her hand or had an arm around her shoulders. She was just leaving the diner when he was returning to the firehouse and he gave her a brief kiss. Across the street Alyssa was standing on the sidewalk in front of the beauty shop and saw them. Her mouth fell open. She whirled and fled back into the shop.

  “Oops,” Sierra said. “I guess she wasn’t expecting that.”

  “I told her I was seeing someone,” he said with a shrug.

  “I don’t think she believed you,” Sierra said. “You didn’t tell her it was me? Why not?”

  “Because I’m not going to discuss my love life with her. I don’t owe her any explanations.”

  “I heard her mother passed away last week,” Sierra said. “Was there a funeral or celebration of life of some kind?”

  “A funeral. Alyssa left a message for me at the firehouse. I sent a bouquet and made a donation to cancer research but I didn’t go.”

  “I hope you didn’t skip it because of me,” she said. “I wouldn’t have questioned that.”

  “No, babe, not because of you. Because of me. I’m not mad at Alyssa anymore but I don’t want to be any closer than we are right now. And I thought what mattered was visiting Rachel when she was alive. I’m glad I did that. The only thing left was to pay my respects to the family when she passed. I did that, too.”

  There were other things going on in and around Timberlake. That small shop of Daisy’s was changing owners in a few months and there was talk of it becoming a commercial marijuana dispensary. A pot store. The local business owners were gossiping about it a lot. Some were up in arms; they worried about drawing a lot of heavy drug users to the town. Others were thrilled to have a moneymaking venture on the main street. No one seemed to know who was buying the store.

  Sierra suspected Neely but said nothing. And she had not heard from her.

  Labor Day weekend was a madhouse of campers, hikers, boaters. The camps across the lake were filled with people, as well. Sully said they would continue to do a decent business through September but not seven days a week and not in numbers like the holiday weekend.

  The leaves had barely started to turn and wouldn’t come into their full glory for another month. The air was taking on a crispness and Sully’s fall melons and pumpkins were just about ready. The long-distance hikers had come and gone because the higher elevations of the Continental Divide Trail were starting to get cold and there would be snow on the mountains before October.

  The camps across the lake would close in November for winter. Sully stayed open but they would only see a few RVs and occasionally rent the cabins. He said it was extremely rare to see any tents. Cross-country skiers and ice sailing skaters would be evident with the snowfall and freezing of the lake but maintenance on the grounds would be greatly reduced. That caused Sierra to think she probably should scout around for a real job, something full-time with benefits, something with potential.

  In early September an RV towing a Jeep came into the park. The RV was outdated and the black Jeep, new. Checking in for a week were Clyde and Priscilla Snowdon, originally from England. He was a professor of history from the Midwest and she was a high school drama teacher who loved photography. Priscilla hoped to get in some hiking and photographs of early fall in the mountains. They had taken a semester off to do some traveling, and with the RV they could stay in each place they visited for a week or more, really get to know their adopted country. Two days later, a couple of archery hunters arrived with a toy hauler that carried a couple of ATVs, perfect for getting around the back roads. Pete and Lucas from Phoenix. And then the next day, being Friday, the camp began to welcome some new weekenders.

  For the next several days, Sierra noticed their British campers and archery hunters making the most of the area—the ATVs on the back roads, walking along trails, in town, checking out the shops and the local tavern.

  The following week Cal called Sierra and asked if she could come to the barn, he had something to talk to her about. When she told him Connie was at the Crossing, Cal said, “Bring him. I want to talk to him, too.”

  When they got to Cal and Maggie’s it appeared they were ready to lay carpet and the interior of the barn was looking fantastic. There was a large roll of foam padding and a larger roll of carpet.

  “You’re almost finished!” she said excitedly.

  “Very close with some detail work left that I’ll probably keep seeing for months, but once the carpet is in the new living room and dining room, furniture and the bar stools can be delivered. I have a couple of walls to paint and paper to hang in the nursery. Maggie!” he called.

  She popped out on the landing at the top of the stairs. “Hi,” she said. “Want to see the master and the nursery?”

  “Sure,” Sierra said. “You’re sleeping upstairs now?”

  “Wait a minute, I wanted to talk to you about something, then you can have the grand tour. Dakota called. He’s deploying again—in two weeks.”

  “How long has he known?” Sierra asked. “I mean, it doesn’t surprise me, but he could’ve given us some notice.”

  “I take it it’s very short notice. Maggie’s headed to Denver on Wednesday morning, home Friday late afternoon so I’m going to pack a bag and shoot down to Fort Hood to see him before he goes. I’m going to make it a real quick trip—I want to be back here when Maggie gets back. If she weren’t working this week, I wouldn’t be leaving but she’ll be in Denver with her obstetrician. No safer place for Maggie these days.”

  “My last week until after the baby,” she said, giving her big belly an affectionate rub. “I’d work up till the end but my OB doesn’t like that idea. I think it’s as much the two-hour drive as the working that’s bugging her. But—Jaycee is a mother herself a
nd she said I’ll thank her someday for insisting I take a month before the baby comes to rest and get ready. So, I’ll have a month before my due date. Any more than that and I might go stir-crazy.”

  “Do you want to go with me to Texas?” Cal asked Sierra.

  “I’d kind of like to, but it’s too short notice for me. I’m scheduled to work. I know it’s not much of a job but someone has to do it. And Sully has hunters and leaf peepers around—I should spend time there.”

  Cal looked at Connie. “I probably don’t have to ask but will you look out for her?”

  He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “You don’t have to ask. I’m working one twenty-four-hour shift this week and Sierra promises to sleep in Sully’s house while I’m not around. They both have baseball bats now, you know.”

  “I heard,” Cal said. “I’m leaving tomorrow. Just a couple of days.”

  “Be sure to ask him how is best to communicate,” Sierra said. “I’ll write or Skype him every day while he’s deployed. Ask him if he knows how long this deployment is. And tell him I’m sorry—a good sister would go see him.”

  “Don’t kick yourself,” Cal said. “Chances are he told me so late so he wouldn’t have to be bothered with coming out here before he leaves. Or, God forbid, Iowa.”

  “He won’t see them, then?”

  “I don’t think he’s seen Jed and Marissa in a few years. I’ll be back on Friday. I think Tom and Jackson are going to try to get the rest of the carpet in while I’m gone.”

  Sierra let Maggie lead her around the upstairs—they’d moved into the master bedroom and the baby’s room was right next door. Maggie had a big box of letters and pictures for the walls, plus a crib yet to be assembled. There was a dresser-changing table and the closet was outfitted with shelves. And there was an adorable wooden pink rocking horse. “I couldn’t resist,” she said.

  “It’s really happening,” Sierra said. “We’re having a baby.”