East End Angel

by Rivers, Carol

  ‘Lucky, ain’t she?’ said Moira, who sat beside Pearl, looking plump and matronly in a dark green suit and fur collar. ‘Who’d have thought Miss Prim-and-Proper would turn up a bloke like Colin. Got a few bob in the family, I hear. Still, I ain’t got no complaints with Arnie, though he’s a bit partial to his wallop. Least I know where he is on a Friday night.’

  ‘Didn’t even know you’d got married,’ said Pearl.

  ‘Yes, in ’forty-two. He’s in a reserved job now, security, you know.’ Moira lifted her chin. ‘So what happened to Jim? Did he go to Africa after all?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Moira narrowed her eyes. ‘Bit of a shock for you, no doubt.’ She nodded at Cynthia. ‘’Specially with a kid to bring up.’

  Pearl looked round for Ruby, who seemed to have disappeared. ‘I’m going to wish the happy couple good luck.’

  ‘Suit yourself,’ muttered Moira.

  Glad to have found an excuse to leave, Pearl took Cynthia’s hand and joined Hope and Ruby at the big table. The conversation was all about how Hope had refused to evacuate her children and taught them at home. ‘We had a private teacher to help us.’

  Pearl saw Ruby’s jaw drop. Private teaching was unheard of on the island.

  ‘That must have cost a lot,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Not really,’ Hope explained. ‘As a lot of the schools were shut down, some teachers were grateful for the work.’

  Suddenly Cynthia’s laughter rang out noisily. They turned to see the three children running around the next table. Hope told them stop, but Cynthia carried on running.

  Pearl caught hold of her hand. ‘Come here, scallywag.’ She glanced over at their own table, which now, thankfully, was empty. ‘We’d better go back and finish our drinks.’

  ‘Yes, me too,’ nodded Ruby.

  ‘Have you ever heard such a thing?’ Ruby said as they returned to their seats. ‘Private teachers!’

  ‘All right if you can afford it. I just hope that when Cynth starts school, the war will be well and truly over.’

  ‘There’s bound to be a lot of good schools in North London,’ Ruby said thoughtfully.

  ‘There are on the island too,’ Pearl said.

  ‘But the kids have all got cockney accents.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with that.’

  Ruby didn’t answer. Pearl knew that today, they’d had a glimpse of life on the other side of the tracks. In a way Moira was right: money did make a difference. You could buy a lot if you had it. But as Pearl looked down at Cynthia, who had made herself comfortable under the table with a sticky mouth full of jam tart, she had to smile. Hope’s children were made to sit still beside their parents, looking like angels in their blue velvet outfits. But you only had to take one glance at their faces to see they were bored.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ asked Ruby with a frown.

  ‘Nothing, I’m just happy to be free.’

  ‘Of what?’

  ‘Needing money to be happy.’

  Once more Ruby said nothing. Pearl knew by the look on Ruby’s face that she was envious of Em. But Ruby could have had all this if only she’d waited.

  Two weeks after Em’s wedding, Churchill admitted that Britain was under attack again. Each day there were more casualties. The V2s left craters ten feet deep and caused an earthquake effect that rippled across the city. Tens of thousands of people were robbed of their roofs, windows, running water and gas supplies.

  One Monday morning, in between showers, Pearl was about to take Cynthia out in the pushchair when a car pulled up by the shop. Pearl and Gwen went to the window to see who it was. Cars were rarely seen in the vicinity now that petrol was so scarce. A tall gentleman got out and went to the passenger’s side. He was middle-aged and dressed in a smart business suit.

  Gwen leaned forward to get a closer look. ‘Looks like an office wallah to me.’

  When he helped a young woman from the car, Pearl gasped. ‘That’s our Ruby!’

  ‘It is, an’ all.’

  They rushed out. ‘What’s the matter? What’s happened?’ cried Pearl in alarm.

  ‘I was ill at work,’ Ruby mumbled. ‘This is Mr Brewer.’

  ‘I brought Mrs Winters home as she is too distressed to catch the bus,’ he explained.

  ‘Thank you.’ Pearl had never met him before, but he seemed very pleasant and, in Ruby’s case, very considerate.

  ‘I’ll help you in—’

  ‘No, we’ll manage,’ said Pearl as Gwen took hold of Ruby’s arm.

  Mr Brewer looked concerned as Gwen led her away. ‘You must be Mrs Nesbitt?’ He held out his hand and she shook it. ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying, but she hasn’t been at all her old self lately.’

  Pearl nodded. ‘No, she hasn’t.’

  ‘She is a highly regarded employee. I’m very grateful she has stayed on at the factory through thick and thin. I know she has to look after her husband. Perhaps you could persuade her to take some time off?’

  ‘I was trying the other day,’ Pearl sighed.

  ‘Please tell her I shan’t expect her back until she is fully recovered. And she’ll have her wage packet at the end of it.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes, I think a holiday might do her good. And she must want to be with her husband.’

  ‘I’ll tell her,’ Pearl promised as he climbed back in the car.

  Pearl found Gwen and Ruby in the kitchen. ‘Cynthia’s in her room with her toys,’ said Gwen, frowning down at Ruby. ‘Do you think Ruby should go to the doctor?’

  ‘No,’ said Ruby quickly.

  Gwen shrugged. ‘Well, give me a shout if you need me.’

  When she had gone Pearl frowned. ‘You look very pale.’

  ‘What did Mr Brewer say?’

  ‘He wants you to have a holiday.’

  ‘He’s a very nice man.’

  Pearl nodded thoughtfully. ‘Is he married?’

  ‘He’s a widower. Everyone says he’s married to the factory.’

  ‘Well, as long as he’s good to you. Now, tell me what happened?’

  Ruby pushed back her hair and sighed. ‘I was sick in the ladies. The girls gave me some smelling salts.’

  ‘Have you felt sick before?’

  ‘Yes, in the mornings.’

  ‘You could be expecting.’

  ‘Expecting!’ Ruby struggled to sit up. ‘Come to think of it, I’m late. But I didn’t give that a thought.’

  ‘You’ve been married six months.’

  ‘But what’s Ricky gonna say?’

  Just then a figure dressed in an overcoat walked in. ‘What’s all this?’ He snatched off his hat, frowning.

  ‘I was sick at work and Mr Brewer drove me home. Darling, I think I might be pregnant.’

  Pearl saw Ricky’s face drain of colour. ‘What?’

  ‘I hope you’re pleased.’

  ‘Couldn’t it be the flu or something?’

  ‘It might be, I suppose. But I haven’t had my monthly.’

  Ricky stared at his wife and a silence followed. Pearl went to join Cynthia in the bedroom, leaving her sister and brother-in-law alone to discuss the unexpected turn of events.

  That evening after their meal, Pearl and Ruby sat alone.

  ‘I’m sorry to waste it,’ said Ruby, frowning at her half-eaten Spam and mash fritters.

  ‘I’ll keep them to heat up tomorrow.’

  ‘If I am pregnant,’ said Ruby uncertainly, ‘I’ll have to tell Mr Brewer.’

  ‘He was very worried about you today.’

  ‘He’s very considerate to his employees. That’s why I stay at the factory even though the work can be boring.’ She frowned. ‘In the morning I’ll go to the doctors.’

  ‘I’ll come with you if you like.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Ruby got up and stood by the sink. She looked quickly over her shoulder and whispered, ‘I think Ricky is upset that I might be expecting.’

  At these words, Pearl felt icy cold, as the me
mories began to tumble back. Ricky had been very angry when, on that snowy night at the club all those years ago, she had told him she’d missed her monthlies. They’d quarrelled bitterly and she would never forget the moment she had fallen down the slippery stairs, with no sympathy at all from Ricky. He’d seen the blood under her coat that left a stain in the snow. He had callously ignored the possibility of what might have happened and when Dr Cox confirmed her fears, Ricky had told her that it was the best thing to have happened. Once again she had to bear the hurt alone.

  ‘Pearl?’

  ‘Sorry, what did you say?’ Pearl felt very upset. She thought Ricky had changed but now she wondered.

  Ruby carried her plate to the sink. ‘Whatever Ricky thinks, I’m glad I’m having a baby. I know it will bring us closer together.’ She yawned, rubbing her eyes. ‘It’s been a long day. Do you mind if I go and sit down?’

  ‘Course not. Would you like a cup of cocoa?’

  Ruby made a face. ‘Even the smell makes me sick. I hope I don’t get swollen ankles as well.’

  ‘All the more reason for you to rest and have a holiday.’

  ‘Don’t go on about that.’ Ruby opened the door and yawned again. ‘Sorry about leaving you with the dishes.’

  Pearl piled the rest of the dishes by the sink and, taking the kettle of warm water from the stove, she filled the bowl. As there was no soap, she used a teaspoon of washing flakes, just enough to soften the water. Piling in the dirty crocs, she tried not to let her mind wander. It wasn’t fair to judge Ricky by his past actions. She had promised herself she would give him a fair chance.

  ‘I’ll dry those.’ Ricky’s voice made her jump.

  ‘Where’s Ruby?’

  ‘Gone to bed.’ He lifted the cloth and began to wipe a wet dish.

  ‘You might wet your gloves,’ she warned, feeling uncomfortable at being alone with him. Yet, why should she? Was she letting her fears get the better of her again?

  ‘I like to help with the chores.’ He moved closer.

  Hurriedly washing the dishes, she clattered them on to the draining board.

  ‘What’s the rush?’ he asked as he slowly took a plate from her hand.

  ‘I want to write to Jim.’

  ‘Ah, the loving wife.’

  She didn’t like the sarcasm but said nothing.

  ‘How long have you known about the baby?’ he asked as she continued to wash the dishes.

  ‘Only as long as you.’

  ‘It was a shock,’ he said, his manner abrupt. ‘And who is this Brewer?’ Ricky stared at her. ‘Why should he take an interest in Ruby?’

  ‘He’s a considerate employer,’ Pearl shrugged, aware of the suspicion in his voice. ‘He cares about all his staff.’

  ‘Ruby is only a factory worker. Why should he care?’

  Pearl put down the wet rag. ‘There’s nothing to be jealous of.’

  ‘I’m not, of him.’

  ‘Under the circumstances I would have thought you’d be grateful he did care enough to drive Ruby home.’

  ‘Under the circumstances,’ he mocked, ‘I wouldn’t describe what I feel as gratitude. I’m having to rely on my wife’s wage to exist. Not a very satisfactory state of affairs for a naval officer.’

  Pearl disliked his arrogance. ‘Everyone is hard up in wartime, Ricky. You’re no different from thousands of others. We all get through somehow.’

  ‘I don’t want just to “get through”,’ he replied angrily. ‘I risked my life at sea, and not for the reward of a cold shoulder from the government, or marrying in haste.’

  Pearl swung round. ‘That’s a terrible thing to say.’

  ‘Terrible but true,’ he shrugged. ‘I was crazy to agree to Ruby’s idea.’

  ‘Are you saying you don’t want to be married?’

  ‘There’s only one woman who interests me.’ He raised his dark eyebrows as he looked towards her. ‘And you know who that is. Perhaps you didn’t catch what I said just then, but I’m not jealous of Ruby. It’s someone else altogether who is constantly on my mind.’

  Pearl looked at him in dismay. What was he saying?

  ‘Is it the sight of these gloves that upsets you?’ He put down the cloth and one by one tugged at the fingers of the gloves. Pearl stared at his scarred, red hands and the gap of a missing finger on each one.

  She lifted her eyes to his. ‘I don’t care about them.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. Ruby politely turns away when I take them off.’ He walked closer. ‘You used to like my hands once. You couldn’t get enough of them running over you and doing all the things we did together. You and I are two of a kind, Pearl; we like the same dangers and excitement.’

  A cold fear swept through her. ‘You and I are nothing alike,’ she whispered, backing away.

  A smile played on his lips. ‘You know, don’t you, that I’ve hardly been able to keep my eyes off you all these months. I’ve had to pretend that nothing ever happened between us, and all the while I’ve wanted you with more passion than I ever felt for your sister.’

  Pearl was trembling. ‘I won’t hear you talk about Ruby like that.’

  ‘The loyal sister, eh?’

  ‘Stop saying those things.’

  ‘Why should I? They’re true. Ruby has no imagination, whereas you, Pearl, you were born to satisfy a man.’

  Pearl felt her back against the wall. For a moment she couldn’t breathe. It was as though her lungs had lost their power. He reached out and took her arms. She couldn’t believe he had such strength in his deformed hands as they gripped her.

  ‘You see, you haven’t forgotten,’ he said softly, running them over her shoulders and into her hair. ‘You’re beautiful, Pearl.’

  ‘Let go of me.’ She turned her head to one side, afraid to scream as Ruby might hear. What would happen if she walked in? Was he mad? Or did he want Ruby to see this?

  He took hold of her chin and made her look at him. ‘Everything about you is so womanly.’

  ‘You didn’t think that once,’ she said, trying to push him away, but he was too strong.

  ‘I’ve always thought it,’ he growled angrily. ‘In time you’ll see that you’re wasting yourself on a man who doesn’t appreciate you. And I have only so much patience, Pearl. Six months of hell has been a big price to pay for my mistake of being sweet-talked into marriage.’ He laughed when he saw her shocked expression. ‘Oh, take that silly look off your face, Pearl. It’s a bit too late to play the innocent, about eight years too late. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me – for now.’ He kissed her then, his hands going down to her breasts, trying to open her blouse. It made her feel sick to have his touch on her and she knew that she couldn’t fight him without waking Ruby.

  But even as she opened her mouth to scream, he shook her violently. ‘Shut up, you silly girl!’

  ‘I’ll scream if you do that again,’ she half sobbed, the tears running down her cheeks.

  ‘You know what I’ll say if Ruby comes out?’ he breathed hoarsely into her ear. ‘I’ll tell her it was you who threw yourself at me.’

  ‘R–Ruby would never believe you,’ she stammered as he squeezed her against wall.

  ‘Is that a risk you’re prepared to take?’

  Pearl felt the hot tears stream down her cheeks. ‘I . . . I hate you, Ricky. For what you’ve done to me and what you’re doing to Ruby.’

  ‘This is nothing to what I would like to do,’ he whispered, his hands fumbling for the buttons on her blouse.

  It was as he released her a little to slide his hand inside that she managed to break away. As she fell against the draining board, the dishes clattered into the sink.

  He grabbed her roughly and spun her across the room. Pearl was dazed by the blow he landed on her head and she crumpled down, shielding her face with her arm.

  As he approached, Ruby’s voice rang out from the bedroom. Pearl’s heart was beating too loudly to hear his shouted reply. But the next moment he turned, opening th
e door of the kitchen, and banging it closed behind him.

  Shakily Pearl climbed to her feet. Her right side felt bruised where he’d thrown her against the wall and her head was throbbing. She had been so wrong to think that he had changed. He was still the bully he’d always been and always would be. She was afraid for herself, but more, she was afraid for Ruby.

  Jim had been right. A leopard can’t change its spots.

  Realizing she had only a short time to escape, she opened the kitchen door. The front room was empty. She hurried quickly through the hall, terrified he would appear again.

  In her bedroom, Cynthia lay fast asleep. With trembling hands she pushed the back of the chair under the door handle and waited. All was silent. She didn’t take off her clothes but sat on the bed fully dressed with the light on. She knew she wouldn’t fall asleep that night.

  ‘Oh God,’ she whispered as she tried to wipe away his touch on her lips, ‘this can’t be happening to me.’

  But it was.

  Pearl woke with a start. She had fallen asleep after all, slumped over the bed. Ricky’s cruel words and actions went through her mind. She wondered if he meant what he’d said about marriage to Ruby. She rubbed her head and shoulder as she moved. He had tried to rape her. She had been very lucky that Ruby had called. But had he vented his frustration on his wife?

  There was a tap at the door and Ruby called out, ‘Pearl, you awake yet?’

  Pearl jumped up and pulled away the chair, opening the door to her sister.

  ‘You look awful.’

  ‘I . . . I didn’t sleep very well. Cynth was a bit restless,’ she lied as she glanced at the little body tucked well under the bedclothes in the small bed.

  Ruby tiptoed over to the camp bed where Pearl was sleeping. Pulling her dressing gown round her, she sat on the small stool.

  ‘Ricky’s gone early,’ she whispered. ‘He came to bed late last night. He must have been worrying about work as he didn’t say much. And this morning we didn’t even say goodbye as I was being sick in the lav.’

  Pearl was relieved that Ricky had left her alone.

  ‘I still feel sick,’ Ruby complained.

  ‘If you eat it will help.’

  ‘I don’t know about that.’ Ruby stood up. ‘Just talking about food makes me queasy. I’ve got to go again.’ She ran to the door.