by Debra Cowan
Though there were butterflies in her stomach, her hands were steady. She had only assisted with this surgery, never performed it herself, but she had studied it extensively and the textbook was here if she needed it.
Hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she felt, she cut into J.T.’s lower back and easily located the tumor. As she had cautioned both J.T. and Cora, the operation took a couple of hours and she worked meticulously, painstakingly, explaining the procedure as she went.
When she was certain she had gotten all of the growth, she stitched him up then bandaged him.
She looked at Cora. “I removed the whole tumor and didn’t find anything else to cause concern.”
“Oh, that’s good news.” The woman hugged her tightly and Annalise returned the embrace.
“You can sit with him until he wakes up, if you’d like. It will probably be an hour or so.”
Cora eagerly agreed and pulled up a chair beside the bed, taking her husband’s hand.
But, after an hour, J.T. hadn’t stirred. Cora gave Annalise an anxious look.
“Maybe it’s just taking him longer to come to,” Annalise said quietly. “Because of his size, we had to use a lot of chloroform.”
Cora nodded, but after another hour when J.T. still hadn’t regained consciousness, Annalise decided to try and wake him. He didn’t respond. His eyelids didn’t flutter. His pulse didn’t change.
Dread snaked through her.
She had carefully monitored the amount of chloroform they’d administered, but J.T. wasn’t waking up.
From her place beside the bed, Cora looked up. “There’s something wrong, isn’t there? What is it?”
“He’s not waking up from the anaesthetic as quickly as I’d like.” Annalise patted the other woman’s arm. “He’ll come around. It’s just taking him a while.”
But two hours later, he still hadn’t. She hadn’t seen chloroform affect anyone this way before. All she knew to do was continue to monitor his pulse and condition.
Cora’s features were pinched with worry. “What now?”
“All we can do is wait. I’ll stay until he wakes up.”
Cora brought another chair into the room and positioned it at the head of the bed for Annalise.
The hours dragged by. Night fell. Annalise continued to reassure her friend. She truly believed J.T. would wake up. But at midnight, when there was still no change, she was hit with full-fledged panic. She had to tell Cora.
She shifted in her chair.
Immediately, Cora straightened, her face full of trepidation.
“I believe he’s in a coma,” Annalise said gently.
The older woman’s eyes filled with tears. “Does that mean he’s going to stay that way?”
Annalise refused to consider the possibility. “No. I believe he’ll come to.”
She was praying with everything in her that he did and she hoped it was before seventy-two hours had passed. To her knowledge, no one had ever been known to wake up at all after that amount of time.
“What if—” Cora’s voice cracked. She didn’t ask the question, but it hung there between them anyway.
What if he doesn’t wake up?
The Landis brothers were at the front of Matt’s mind when he and Russ passed their last barn and rode into the yard just before noon. They’d spent two and a half days chasing those bastards and hadn’t caught them. The trail had gone cold on the far side of the Eight of Hearts Ranch. It was as though the outlaws had just disappeared into a hole.
Matt and the others had made the return trip slowly, searching for any sign they might have missed. There was nothing. Matt was still of the opinion that Reuben and Pat Landis were the ones who had ambushed him. It wouldn’t surprise him if they turned out to be the rustlers, too. Hell, the whole family had done plenty of thieving—cows and horses—before being thrown in jail this go-round.
Matt was hot and sweaty and seething with frustration. He was also hungry. His breakfast of coffee and biscuits seemed a long time ago. As did the last time he’d seen Annalise. He’d missed her, more than he’d thought he would for the short time he’d been gone.
Though he was anxious to see her, he wanted to check on Pa first, then eat and clean up before he went to Whirlwind. Russ’s observation about the morphine-induced lethargy had been playing in Matt’s mind since that night around the fire. His brother wanted to check on Pa, too, which was why he had stopped here on his way to Whirlwind.
They rode straight into the barn and dismounted. As he unsaddled Dove, he spotted Annalise’s buggy against the back wall. He smiled. She must’ve gotten word from the wire Davis Lee had sent, letting everyone know no one was injured and they would all be home today.
Russ brushed down his paint gelding, tilting his head toward the buggy. “Looks like your lady doctor is here.”
“Now we can both ask her whatever we want about the surgery.”
“Yeah.”
Matt finished with Dove and sent the mare out the back door of the barn into the pasture beyond, then he and his brother started for the house.
They stepped up on the wraparound porch, their boots hitting the pine floorboards with a solid thump. The front doorway was tall and wide enough for any one of the Baldwins to step inside without ducking or having to turn to the side. That had come in handy when Pa had ended up in the wheelchair.
Matt opened the heavy wooden door to see Cora hurrying toward them. The pale weariness of her face immediately had him on alert.
Russ, too, Matt realized as his brother moved toward their stepmother, looking apprehensive. “Cora?”
It was Pa. He knew it. Jerking off his hat, he took three steps, gaze skipping past the rock fireplace then the dining table to the left. Annalise stood in the doorway of the downstairs bedroom.
A sick feeling gripped him. “What’s happened?”
“Is it Pa?” Russ curved one arm solicitously around Cora’s shoulders.
The women exchanged a look that tangled the knot in Matt’s gut even tighter. He strode around the kitchen table with Russ right behind him. He tossed his hat onto the table. Annalise stepped back as he reached the doorway and stopped dead.
Pa lay on his stomach, head turned toward them, eyes closed, face lax. A white sheet covered him from the waist down.
Even after being confined to the wheelchair, J.T. Baldwin never took time away from any ranch chores to lie abed. Cold dread slicked down Matt’s spine. “What’s happened?”
“He had the surgery,” Cora said.
Those words were enough to cut his breath. “What? Why? Why would he do that?”
“Especially while we were gone.” Russ frowned.
Matt braced his hands on his hips. “When did he decide to do it?”
“A day or so before you left with the posse.”
“Before we left?” Matt asked.
His stepmother nodded.
He noted the shimmer of nerves in her eyes that said she wasn’t as calm as she sounded.
His gaze cut to Annalise.
She looked from him to his brother and back. “J.T. sent me a note a couple of days ago saying he wanted me to do the operation. When the two of you joined the posse to hunt the Landis brothers, I thought he would want to wait until you returned, but he didn’t.”
“So you went ahead and did it,” he said in a cold flat voice.
Russ moved into the room and stepped around Matt. “I thought surely he would’ve heard us and woken up by now.”
A sudden tension cut through the room like a knife.
Cora cleared her throat. “He hasn’t woken up.”
“What do you mean?” Russ looked grim. “He hasn’t woken up since you did the surgery?”
“Yes,” Annalise answered quietly.
“How long has he been like this?” Matt demanded.
“A little over forty-eight hours.”
The bottom of his stomach fell out and he cursed viciously. “Tell us what’s going on. Right now.”
“What did you give him? Ether?”
“Chloroform.”
A faint sweet scent hovered in the room. Matt stared over her shoulder at his father. “Did you give him too much?”
“I don’t believe so. I was very careful.”
“Then why isn’t he coming to?”
“We’re not sure,” Cora said.
Matt stared straight at Annalise, a black fury rising inside him. “You know why.”
“Yes.” The dark circles under her eyes testified to hours of worry and a loss of sleep. “He’s in a coma.”
Coma. The word slammed into him like a bullet. When his brother took a step back, Matt knew it had affected him the same way.
“That means he’ll never wake up,” Russ said hoarsely.
“No,” Annalise assured him quickly, firmly. “It does not mean that.”
She met Matt’s gaze without flinching, which somehow infuriated him even more.
Rage slid like needles under his skin as he fought to control a viciousness he’d never felt.
She had known about this before he’d left and she hadn’t said a word. Not one damn word. Why? Had she been waiting for him to be out of the way? Staring into her clear, earnest eyes, he didn’t want to believe it.
A moan came from the big man in the bed.
Everyone spun toward him, but after a long moment when there was nothing more from him, a heaviness descended over the room.
The hope in Cora’s eyes died and fear spiked again inside Matt.
His stepmother looked at Annalise. “Does this mean he’s not going to regain full consciousness?”
“No. This could as easily be a sign of his mind starting to wake up as a sign that it isn’t.”
“What do we do if he doesn’t wake up?”
“We take care of him,” Russ said firmly.
Matt couldn’t speak past the knot of dread and anger in his throat.
With sympathy in her eyes, Annalise touched Cora’s shoulder. “I’m going to step out for a minute and let the three of you have some time to talk.”
Matt’s eyes narrowed. Was she trying to dodge him? The thought snapped his last thread of restraint. When Annalise went out the front door, he followed her around to the side of the house.
“You knew before I left that you were going to do this and you didn’t tell me. Now Pa might not ever wake up.”
She turned, eyeing him warily. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I’d told you. The surgery wasn’t your decision to make. Or mine.”
“You didn’t have to do it.”
She shook her head. “Why would you want him to carry on like this?”
“I don’t!” he yelled, his chest aching. “Russ and I discussed this on the trail. Your point about him having to live on that medicine was good. All I wanted was the chance to talk to you again about the surgery. It’s almost like you wanted me to be gone so you could proceed.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she huffed. “I can’t believe you even said that. How was I supposed to know you wanted to talk about it again? That you might change your mind about the surgery?”
“It’s not that I necessarily think the surgery was wrong—I kind of reached that conclusion on the trail—but I do have a problem with you knowing about it before I left and not telling me.”
“That morning at the clinic, I thought you knew. I thought you had come to terms with it, but didn’t want to discuss it.”
It was true talking hadn’t been high on his list. “Why didn’t you ask me?”
“Because I thought you already knew!” Her voice rose. “You think I lied? That I deliberately kept this from you?”
He didn’t want to think so.
She drew in a sharp breath. “You think I’m lying right now. Why would you think that? What have I done to make you— Oh, no.”
His gaze sliced to hers. “What?”
“You still don’t believe I told the truth about knowing I was expecting when I left Whirlwind. Did you just pretend to believe me so you could get me back into bed?”
“That’s hogwash!”
“Yes, and that’s how absurd your accusations are, too.”
“How did you get from my pa’s surgery to that?” he demanded heatedly, refusing to soften at the stark pain in her eyes. He shoved a hand through his hair. “I thought things between us were going to be different, but evidently that only applies to me. You think I have to be different, but you don’t.”
“That isn’t fair. If you really believe I kept this from you deliberately, you haven’t changed the way I thought you had.” Her voice caught and she bit her lip, her eyes hollow. “Do you really think I lied?”
He hadn’t exactly said that, but it was what he meant, wasn’t it? “Did you?”
She looked as if she might shatter. “Why should I answer? No matter what I say, you’ll think it’s a lie.” Sadness darkened her eyes. “Have you ever believed me?”
He thought he had. He didn’t answer; he couldn’t. He thought he had moved on, but right now all he saw were years of distrust, anger, feelings of betrayal.
The blood drained from her face, making her green eyes a stark contrast to her alarming paleness.
Russ called through the open bedroom window. “Pa’s moaning again. I think he might be waking up!”
Annalise whirled and rushed back into the house. Matt was right on her heels.
“J.T.!” Cora was kneeling beside the mattress.
“Hello, honey.” His words were slurred, his eyes heavy-lidded.
Matt couldn’t swallow past the lump in his throat. How he could feel anything past the fury throbbing in his veins was a mystery.
Annalise hurried around him to the foot of the bed and eased the sheet to Pa’s thighs then carefully folded back the loose waistband of his drawers, revealing a thick white bandage wrapped around his lower back.
“’Lise?” J.T. lifted his head slightly. He looked groggy and his voice was sluggish, just as it was when he took the morphine.
Annalise checked the bandage. Seemingly satisfied, she moved to his feet. “Can you wiggle your toes for me?”
He did, on both feet.
“Wonderful! Describe any pain you have.”
The patient hardly seemed able to keep his eyes open. “My back hurts like blue blazes,” he mumbled. “But it’s a different pain than before.”
“Is it only in one spot?”
“Mmm-hmm.” His eyes closed.
Annalise glanced at Cora. “It’s the place where I made the incision. That’s to be expected.”
“You…got it all, ’Lise?” the big man asked in a slurred voice.
“Yes, I got it all.”
“Good.” His eyes closed and his features went lax with sleep. Cora gasped.
Annalise put a hand on her friend’s arm. “It’s all right. This is a natural sleep.”
“Thank goodness.”
Russ blew out a relieved breath and hugged Annalise. “Pa’s going to be okay. You think he’ll walk again?”
“It’s too early to say, but I’m hopeful. Very hopeful.”
He squeezed her hard. “I can’t wait to tell Lydia.”
“We should let him rest.” Annalise gave him and Cora a patently false smile. “I’ll be back tomorrow to check on him.”
Cora grabbed her in a hug. “Thank you. Thanks so much.”
“You’re welcome.” She gathered her things, gave the older woman some last instructions and started out the door.
Matt was so relieved about Pa, he was almost light-headed as he followed Annalise outside.
“Thanks,” he said gruffly. “That doesn’t seem adequate for taking away his pain the way you did, maybe helping him walk again.”
She didn’t respond, didn’t turn, just continued walking briskly to the b
arn.
Replaying the harsh words he’d said to her earlier, Matt grimaced. He’d been a jackass. Just because he had never been so afraid in his life was no call to say what he had to her. “Annalise?”
She didn’t pause or stop, just continued on to the barn.
Hell. He’d really pulled the trigger without aiming this time. Catching up with her, he gently snagged her elbow.
“Don’t.” She whirled, jerking away from him. Color rode high on her cheeks. Her green eyes shot fire at him. “Don’t.”
“I want to apologize.”
“I’m not interested,” she said in a cool distant voice he’d never heard then took another step toward the barn.
He moved, planting himself in front of her, panic beginning a slow crawl through his belly. “I’m sorry, dammit. Those things I said were—I know I shouldn’t have said them. I panicked. Seeing Pa like that scared the hell out of me.”
“It would anyone.” She tried to step around him and again he blocked her path.
“If you understand, why won’t you let me apologize?”
Angry tears glistened in her eyes. And he saw hurt there, too. Hurt he’d caused. “You just accused me of lying. Again. Your apologies don’t hold a lot of water with me right now.” Her voice cracked. “We’re finished.”
“What?” His heart stopped. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” Her gaze, bleak with pain, met his. “I’m sick of your distrust. Sick of having to justify myself to you. I’ve had all I want.”
“We can work this out. I was an idiot.” A chilling finality filled him. “I’m sorry, Angel. Truly sorry.”
“How nice for you.” Her face was closed, unyielding as she looked past him. “Henry, could you get my buggy ready to travel, please?”
“Yes, ma’am.” The bow-legged man disappeared into the barn.
Matt took a step toward her. “At least let me take you to town.”
Her jaw locked tighter than a bear trap. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Annalise.” Matt wanted to throw her over his shoulder, keep her until she forgave him, but he knew that could be a damn long time. The hell of it was he couldn’t blame her. How could he have lost control of his tongue like that? “You can’t leave like this.”