by Debra Cowan
Behind him, he heard the jingle of harness as the horse and buggy came out of the barn. He tried not to panic. Hell, he was half afraid to say anything else. He sure wished he could take back what he’d said at the side of the house.
“You can’t drive back alone.”
She didn’t spare him a glance. Shoulders rigid, body tight, she waited as Henry led the buggy toward her. When the ranch hand halted a few feet away, she smiled. “Henry, could you please escort me back to Whirlwind?”
“Boss?”
When Matt turned toward the other man, Annalise ducked around him.
Henry looked from her to Matt.
Finally, his jaw clenched tight enough to break teeth, Matt nodded. There was no talking to her right now and that was his fault.
He dragged a hand down his face. “I’ll come for you tomorrow.”
“Don’t. It will be a waste of your time.”
“You can’t go back and forth without an escort.”
She slid her medical bag beneath the buggy seat. “There are plenty of people I can ask to come with me.”
“Like who?” he asked hotly. She better not mean Quentin.
“It’s none of your business, Matt Baldwin. I said we were finished and I meant it.”
Dad-blamed, confoundin’ woman! Matt wanted to pull his hair out.
Still looking uncertain, Henry assisted her into the buggy. Without missing a beat, she took the reins and drove out of the yard.
Matt’s chest was so tight he couldn’t get a full breath.
With one last look back, Henry mounted his bay and followed Annalise.
Matt was about to crawl out of his skin. He knew he’d hurt her deeply. Apologizing hadn’t come close to reaching the pain inside her. She wouldn’t talk to him, look at him.
Alarm shot through him. For the first time in his life, Matt had no idea what to do with a woman.
Chapter Fifteen
Annalise was determined to keep thoughts of Matt out of her head. He had all but called her a liar. Nothing had changed.
She’d thought she couldn’t hurt any more than she had over his abandonment years ago. She’d been wrong. Blinking back tears, she thought about how unforgiving he’d looked earlier. She was not crying over him ever again.
She was mad enough to eat bees and she was going to hold on to it for a good long time.
As she drove into town and thanked Henry for escorting her, her stomach growled. Once she left her buggy and horse at the livery, she went to the Pearl.
After a hearty lunch, she returned to her clinic. She cleaned all her instruments as well as the inhaler tubes and mask. As she replenished the bandages in her medical bag, she glanced at the clock. She’d eaten just over an hour ago and her stomach felt hollow. She was hungry again.
Walking into her kitchen, she opened the cupboard and stared at the stale cloth-wrapped biscuits she’d made on the day she’d been summoned to the Triple B. Remembering that had Matt popping back into her head.
“Stupid man.” Angered all over again, she slammed the cupboard door shut. “He isn’t even worth shooting.”
“Who isn’t?”
She gave a little cry and turned to find Quentin in the doorway.
He smiled, which softened the sharp angles of his face. “Didn’t mean to startle you. I knocked on the back door, but when you didn’t answer, I went ahead and came in that way, as usual. Is that okay?”
“Of course.” There was no ramp for her friend’s wheelchair at the front door so he used the back stoop, which was level with the ground.
“I came to check on you and from what I just heard, you need it.” He tilted his head. “Or maybe it’s Matt who needs checking.”
“Don’t talk about him.” In the pantry, she picked up a jar of peach slices. She could make a pie, but that didn’t sound good either.
Quentin rolled into the room and parked himself at the corner of the table where he could see her face. “All right. Let’s talk about why you’re tearing up your kitchen. What are you looking for?”
“Something to eat.” She studied the two eggs left in a basket on the lower shelf. “I’m starving.”
“Let’s go to the Pearl.”
She gave him a sheepish look. “I ate just an hour ago.”
“Obviously not enough. From what Russ said, you put in a lot of hours with his pa. Did you eat during that time at all?”
“Yes.” Dreading Quentin might say something about Matt, she steeled herself. “What else did Russ say?”
“Come to the Pearl with me and I’ll tell you.”
They left the clinic, Quentin maneuvering alongside her as they angled across Main Street toward the restaurant. “Russ told everyone you operated on J.T. and may have fixed his leg.”
“The surgery was a success.” She wasn’t sure exactly what Russ had said and she didn’t want to give away anything confidential. She hoped J.T.’s hours in that coma hadn’t damaged him in any way.
Quentin held the door for her and she walked inside The Pearl. Red-checked-cloth-covered tables were set in neat rows.
Once they were seated, Quentin asked, “Do you think he’ll walk again?”
“I’m hopeful.”
He was quiet for a moment before his gaze met hers. “Do you think something like that would work for me?”
Annalise smiled. She’d never heard Quentin express an interest in learning more about his condition. “I’d have to examine you before I could say.”
“How likely is a coma? Like what happened to J.T.?”
“It’s not likely, but there is a risk,” she admitted. Russ must indeed have shared a lot of details.
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
They turned their attention to the menu. He asked a few more questions about J.T.’s surgery, mostly dealing with the anaesthetic she had used. She knew his worry about that came from J.T.’s experience.
No food on the menu sounded appealing either, but Annalise didn’t tell Pearl. There was no reason to hurt the woman’s feelings and it would. In the end, she just ordered a glass of lemonade.
As soon as she did, Annalise froze. Lemonade. The only time she ever wanted anything to do with lemons—no! She couldn’t be pregnant! But nothing else explained why she wanted only that drink. What was she going to do?
Quentin asked her a question and she tried to focus. She didn’t want him to suspect anything was wrong, but she needed to get back to her clinic so she could deal with this revelation.
And what about Matt? Her mind whirled as disbelief, joy, apprehension all crowded inside her.
About half an hour later, Quentin escorted her back to the clinic.
With that hollowness still gnawing at her stomach, she paused in front of the mercantile. She had to have some lemons. “I need to stop here for a bit. Do you need anything?”
“Not that I can think of. I’ll just wait here until you get inside.”
“All right. Thanks for taking me to the Pearl.”
“Anytime.”
She squeezed his hand then walked inside the store.
Drawn to a corner by the scents of citrus and soap, Annalise finally found a basket of the yellow fruit. After making her purchase, she walked past Cal Doyle’s law office to her clinic.
Was she really expecting? Despite her sudden taste for all things lemon, she could hardly take in the situation. Tears threatened.
A man stood on the front porch, knocking on the door.
“May I help you?” she called, hoping whatever he needed could be taken care of quickly. She wasn’t in the best frame of mind to deal with a patient.
He turned, rumpled and dusty, leather gloves tucked into the back pocket of his denims. “You the saw-bones?”
“Yes.”
“I’m from the Eight of Hearts.” He didn’t look much older than she was. He jerked off his hat, revealing thinning red hair and a sagging left jaw. The muscle had somehow been destroyed so one side of his face was lower than the oth
er and appeared lopsided. “One of the hands, Frank, is in a bad way. He needs a doctor.”
She sighed inwardly. “Let me grab my bag.”
He nodded, staying outside, holding his hat. His gaze darted around town. She could tell he was impatient, maybe a little nervous. About his friend? Or perhaps the outlaws still on the loose?
They and the rustlers made everyone nervous. Annalise didn’t travel anywhere these days without her derringer. Though she typically didn’t carry it in town, she hadn’t taken it out of her skirt pocket after returning from the Triple B.
Soon she followed him down the steps. “I’ll drive my buggy and follow you, Mr.—”
“You can just call me Sherman. And that’ll be fine.”
He strode quickly across to the livery with her and helped her harness the mare to the buggy. A few minutes later, they were on their way. He rode alongside her on a red roan gelding.
As they headed toward Mr. Julius’s ranch, she noticed the ranch hand frequently looked around. He was definitely jittery.
Annalise glanced at him. “What happened to your friend?”
“He was gut shot. He’s bleedin’ a lot.”
“Perhaps you should’ve come for me earlier.”
“Yes, ma’am, I think so.”
He didn’t elaborate and Annalise decided he just wasn’t much for talking. “How did your friend come to get shot? Does it have anything to do with the Landis brothers?”
The man looked at her sharply. “Why would you ask that?”
“There was a posse after them until today. They lost track of the gang on the other side of the Eight of Hearts ranch. I thought maybe the hands there might’ve had a run-in with them.”
“As a matter of fact, it does have to do with them.”
“I’m sorry.” Those outlaws had hurt a lot of people. “I’ll do everything I can for your friend.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
He fell silent after that. Impatient to tend the wounded man so she could get home and sort out what she wanted to do, Annalise found her thoughts on Matt. He could easily have been hurt just like the man she was planning to tend.
Despite being angry and hurt, she was thankful he hadn’t been injured. Fool that she was, she loved him. She had never stopped, but he didn’t trust her and she didn’t know how to change that. She didn’t know if there was any way to change it.
She had taken another chance on him, on letting go of the past, but he couldn’t do the same. They obviously couldn’t make things between them work.
The realization filled her with a mix of sadness and regret, and that just made her angry all over again. She felt as though she would never stop being mad at him. And now there was the baby to consider. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Even though Matt’s visits to town didn’t happen with any regularity, Annalise knew she wouldn’t be able leave their past behind if she had to live with the threat of seeing him hanging over her head.
She couldn’t stay here, not in the same town. And now she felt as though she couldn’t go. That made her angry, too.
An hour later, Matt, Russ and Cora had finished changing Pa’s bandage and sheets then had returned the man to his bed. As they all stood outside his bedroom, Matt was cussing himself. He would never forget the devastation, the raw stark pain on Annalise’s face.
How could he have hurt her again like that? Why had he said those things? Especially when he didn’t believe them. How could he have doubted her once more?
He was a fool. He could kick his own butt over this. What if he’d killed everything between them? There was no reason to think he hadn’t.
With their father fed and now asleep again, Russ scowled at Matt. “You shouldn’t have let her leave. Not like that.”
Cora peered around Russ.
Matt looked at both of them. “Did you hear everything?”
“All of us did.” His stepmother’s mouth flattened dis-approvingly. “The window was open.”
“Then you know I didn’t let her go.”
“Hmm.” Cora crossed her arms, scrutinizing him.
Irritation flickered across Russ’s features. “You’re an idiot.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Matt snapped.
Cora’s hazel eyes softened the tiniest bit. “You better try to do something about it before it’s too late.”
“Like what?” A bone-deep fear that he’d gone too far settled inside him. “She hates my guts.”
“For starters, get your hind end to Whirlwind.” J.T. cleared his throat, announcing he was awake. “Even if Annalise knew you didn’t know about the surgery, she wouldn’t have told you.”
At his father’s words, Matt squeezed past Cora and Russ, moving into the bedroom. The other two followed.
J.T.’s eyes met Matt’s. “I asked her not to tell either of you and she gave me her word. If you want to be mad at somebody, put it on me.”
Pa didn’t deserve his anger either. Only one person did.
“No.” He squared his shoulders. “I should put it on me. I know Annalise didn’t lie, not then, not now.”
“Then why did you accuse her of it?” his brother asked.
Because he’d reacted out of fear and panic. Because he’d been ambushed by the memory of their mother dying of a tumor. Matt glared at Russ. “Seeing Pa like that scared me. It scared you, too.”
“True, but—”
“It was like I couldn’t stop saying those things.” Matt’s gut twisted into a vicious knot.
Russ moved closer to the bed. “Why would you ask Annalise to keep the surgery from us, Pa?”
J.T. shifted carefully on his stomach. His eyes were alert and focused. His gaze encompassed both of his sons before he sent a pleading look to Cora.
Holding up her hands, she shook her head. “It was your idea, mister. You can explain.”
What did that mean? Matt waited expectantly.
“Russ already feels bad enough about me being in this condition. I thought if I took complete responsibility, he wouldn’t blame himself if something went wrong.”
Knowing how deep his brother’s guilt went, Matt shook his head. “I don’t think it would work.”
“Well, it’s neither here nor there now,” J.T. said briskly. “What you should be concerned about is Annalise.”
“I apologized. Or tried to. Maybe y’all didn’t hear her response, but it wasn’t forgiving. She doesn’t want anything to do with me. Can’t say I blame her.”
“It’s true you have a lot of making up to do,” Cora said.
As if Annalise would ever let him close enough to do it. “She said she’d be back tomorrow.”
The other three shook their heads in unison.
“You can’t wait,” J.T. said adamantly.
Cora nodded. “You’ve got a choice. And it is a choice.”
“There. I second what Cora said.” Pa looked pleased.
Russ nodded. “Yeah, you better git and git now. Don’t let pride stand between you.”
“Like you almost did with Lydia?”
“Right.”
Matt had never learned exactly what had come between his brother and sister-in-law before they’d gotten together, but he did know Russ had suspected her of keeping something from him.
“It’s not pride.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I really hurt her. Part of me feels like I should respect her wishes and keep my distance.”
“If the two of you are really finished, you’ll be keeping plenty of distance.”
“I don’t know.”
“Son, do you want to wonder the rest of your life if you should’ve apologized once more?”
No, he didn’t.
She might be done with him after the way he’d ripped into her, the deep hurt he’d inflicted, but his family was right. He couldn’t just let her walk out of his life.
“I’m going after her.”
“That’s my boy.”
Before he left, he squeezed h
is father’s shoulder. “Thanks, Pa.”
He hugged his stepmother. “You, too, Cora.”
“You’re welcome.” She smacked him on the butt. “Now, go.”
Russ rode to Whirlwind with him. Matt pushed his horse hard and his brother kept pace. As they flew across the prairie, he practiced different ways to apologize, trying to choose the one that would work.
He brought his horse to a skidding halt in front of Annalise’s clinic, spraying dirt and pebbles. He jumped down from the saddle onto the porch while his brother went on to his hotel.
Matt tried the door, but it was locked. He knocked. It wouldn’t surprise him if she was upstairs, ignoring him. Hurting.
He pounded again on the door, but there was still no answer.
He didn’t blame her for not wanting to see him, but he wasn’t leaving until he’d had his say. Or begged, crawled or whatever she wanted.
He slipped around to the back and easily picked the lock and let himself in.
“Annalise!” He strode quickly through the hall and upstairs, taking the steps three at a time. “Annalise!”
He didn’t really expect her to answer. He had never seen her so angry. But he didn’t expect the bedroom to be empty either. Walking across the hall, he checked the parlor. She wasn’t there.
He rushed down the stairs and to the examination room. Everything was tidy and in its place—cots, cabinet, medicines. No sign of her.
Where was she? He found himself standing in the hallway outside the kitchen. His gaze scanned the room for signs she’d been there.
The cupboard against this wall was open; a cloth-wrapped bundle sat on the table next to a plate of lemons. He checked the stove. Cold. Maybe she hadn’t come here at all. Going out the same way he’d come in, Matt walked across to Davis Lee’s house, but in answer to his question, Josie said she hadn’t seen the doctor today.
Something nagged at him. He walked around to the front of her clinic. If he had to go into every business, knock on every house door, he would. Matt would never forget the deep, sharp pain in her green eyes. Pain he’d put there.
He started down the street, stopping first at Cal Doyle’s law practice next door, then at Haskell’s. No one had seen her.