Afterburn: a novel

by Zane

  Dad shook his head. “No need. I only have one comment. You need to hurry up and marry that woman before you let her get away.”

  I was dumbfounded. “How did you know I was talking about Rayne?”

  “Because she’s become your entire world, Son. A blind man could see that.”

  “This is probably the shortest life-altering discussion we’ve ever had, but thanks, Dad.”

  He chortled. “You’re welcome.”

  When we go to the top floor, I said, “I hope you like it.”

  The elevator doors opened and everyone yelled, “Surprise!”

  Rayne was standing there, beaming and hugging her mother. She seemed pleased and I was relieved. Dad was shocked and moved faster than I’d ever seen him move to embrace Mom. Their official anniversary wasn’t for another couple of days and he was planning to take her to the Shenandoah mountains for a romantic getaway. He had no idea that I’d arranged to fly them to Paris, France, instead. School had let out for the summer so they were free to go away for a couple of weeks as opposed to a few days.

  Everyone had a great time at the party. The caterer had really done her thing. The roast beef was tender, the chicken marsala was mouthwatering, and the seafood primavera was delicious. Chance and Ricky came in closer to the end of the event, when everyone was on the dance floor grooving to the band’s music. I really liked them. Over the past couple of months, Rayne and I had spent a lot of time over their place and vice versa. We’d gone to the zoo the weekend before and had a picnic on the lawn. It had been ages since I’d been on a picnic; one of the simpler things in life that’s often overlooked. We were all planning on attending some of the summertime concerts at the Carter Baron Amphitheater in Rock Creek Park.

  Dad was trying to get everyone’s attention to make an announcement. Perfect. I’d been waiting for Chance and Ricky to arrive before I made an announcement of my own.

  “Excuse me, everyone,” Dad said, motioning with his hand for the band to cut the music. Once they stopped, he continued. “I wanted to thank everyone for coming out here this evening to help my lovely wife Agnes and I celebrate thirty-five glorious years of marriage. In 1969, a feisty young lady made me commit myself to her for life and I’ve never regretted it for a single moment.”

  Mom looked like she was on the brink of tears. I was standing off to the side, holding Rayne around the waist from behind. She whispered, “That’s so sweet. They’re so in love.” I kissed her on the cheek. “The party has turned out perfect.”

  “Yes, it has,” I agreed.

  “I’d planned on presenting Agnes with this little token of my appreciation when I took her away in a few days. Now I understand that all those plans have changed so I better go ahead and give it to her now.” He beckoned my mother toward him with his finger. “Come here, woman of my dreams.”

  Mom blushed, gave Arjay a hug, and switched to her man with much pride and pep in her step.

  He took her by the hand, embraced her, and then they shared a long, passionate kiss. I’d never seen my parents go for it like that; rather less in front of a crowd. There had to be at least two hundred friends and relatives present.

  “Baby, years ago, thirty-five years ago to be exact, you made me the happiest man on earth. Now I just want to make you the happiest woman on earth.”

  “You already have, Corbett. You already have.”

  “Well, maybe this will make you even happier.” He pulled a black velvet box out his pocket. “When we first got married, I couldn’t afford to buy you the ring you wanted. Hell, I couldn’t even afford a real diamond, so you settled for a simple wedding band.” He lifted her hand and kissed the band. “And you’ve worn it all this time. Now it’s time to replace it with what you deserved back then.”

  Mom threw her hand over her mouth as Dad opened the box. “Oh, my, Corbett! What have you done?”

  “The right thing,” Dad responded, popping the box open and exposing a three-carat diamond ring.

  Mom was shaking so uncontrollably that he almost couldn’t get the ring on her finger. He managed and they started kissing again.

  I hugged Rayne tighter. I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and then let her go. “I’ll be right back.”

  I walked over to my parents and embraced them both. The band looked like they were about to start back up but I motioned for them not to.

  “I’d like to add something,” I said. “As the only child of these two wonderful people here, I must say that I couldn’t have asked for more loving and supportive parents. They’ve nurtured me and guided me throughout my life. While it hasn’t always been easy for any of us, we’ve managed to make it this far.”

  I glanced at Rayne. She was so gorgeous, standing there in a royal blue flowing dress. “Many of you have met the new lady in my life, some of you have gotten to know her pretty well, but I want everyone to officially meet her now. Rayne, can you come here for a second?”

  Rayne was hesitating and I saw Chance push her out in the middle of the floor. Rayne brushed her off and started taking tiny steps toward me and my parents. When she got close enough to hear my whispers, I said, “Don’t worry. None of them bite.”

  I heard Dad laugh behind me.

  I grasped her hand in mine and faced the crowd. Felix, Dwayne, and Mike had all snuck in at some point. Dwayne was with Opal; Felix and Mike were going solo. They were all staring, along with the rest of the crowd.

  “Everyone, this is Rayne Waters. Rayne, this is everyone.”

  She laughed nervously as they applauded.

  “Why are they clapping?” she asked in astonishment. “I haven’t done anything.”

  “Oh yes, you have,” I told her. When the applause ended, I said, “Rayne asked me why you were applauding us. She doesn’t feel like she’s done anything to deserve it. The fact is that she’s done everything; she’s changed my entire life. Before I met Rayne, I’d given up on finding true love. Every turn only meant more pain for me; more disappointment. But she’s changed all that.” I gazed into her eyes and spoke directly to her. “You’ve changed all that.”

  I reached into my coat pocket and took out an identical black box to the one Dad had pulled out of his. I’d spotted the perfect ring for her—five carats on a platinum band—the day Dad had selected the one for Mom.

  Rayne gasped and so did half the room when I lowered myself onto my right knee. “Listen to me, baby. I know it seems like all of this happened fast. In many ways, it did. But I love you. I’ve loved you all my life; even before I met you.”

  She ran her fingers across my cheek. “I love you, too, Yardley.”

  “I know you do, and that’s why I want you to marry me. I don’t want to live my life without you.”

  She started crying. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes.” I took the ring out the box and slipped it on her finger. “Say that you’ll be my wife, the mother of my children. Say we’ll grow old together and make a ton of memories to tell our grandchildren.”

  Arjay came closer to us and said, “Say yes, baby.”

  Rayne glared at her. “Momma?”

  “You know I’m the last person in the world who believes in marriage. It’s not for me, but it is for you. I see that now. He’s different, Rayne. He’s rare, and you better grab him while you can.”

  I looked at Arjay and laughed, still kneeling. “You heard her. I’m rare.”

  “You are rare.” Rayne clamped her eyes shut for a moment. Her entire body was trembling. “You’re rare, Yardley, but I’m not.”

  “What are you saying?”

  She pulled her hand away from me, took the ring off, and placed it back in my palm. “I’m saying that you don’t deserve this. I’m not good enough for you.”

  I jumped up. “You are good enough for me.”

  Rayne shook her head violently. Chance started walking up behind her. She warded her off. “Please, Chance. Let me do this.”

  Chance stood there with this hopeless expr
ession on her face; one that probably mirrored my own.

  “I’m so embarrassed. I wish you wouldn’t have asked me this in front of everyone,” Rayne said as tears started flowing freely down both of her cheeks. “I can’t marry you, Yardley. When it comes down to it, I’m simply not good enough.”

  Rayne took off for the door. Arjay ran after her. I was right on their tail. “Son!” I heard my dad yell behind me. “Give her some time to think.”

  I looked at him and Mom, who was also crying. This had ruined their day; a day I’d hoped to become two celebrations.

  “I have to go to her, Dad. I have to make her understand.”

  “You can’t make a woman understand something she’s incapable of understanding.”

  I was halfway to the door when Felix yanked me by the arm. “Man, she’s one fish in a sea of millions. Fuck that bitch if she doesn’t want you.”

  I punched Felix right in the mouth. He was stunned as blood trickled down his chin.

  “You and I are no longer friends. Don’t let me see you again.”

  I ran down the stairwell instead of waiting for the elevator. By the time I got outside, they were gone.

  Thirty

  Rayne

  “I know you don’t want to talk, but we have to.”

  Momma was rubbing my back while I laid on my bed. I kept seeing the painful expression on Yardley’s face when I’d turned him down. It would haunt me for the rest of my days.

  “Momma, please just leave me alone,” I said, lashing out at her in anger.

  “No, I won’t. This is all my fault.”

  I sat up. “How do you figure that?”

  “Your real problem isn’t with Yardley. It’s with me.” She clasped her hands together and sighed. “I’m the reason you have so many trust issues with men.”

  “No, men are the reason I have so many trust issues with men,” I stated adamantly. “But it’s not even about that.”

  “Then what is it about?”

  “I’ve realized something about myself lately, Momma.”

  “What’s that, baby?”

  “I meant what I said; about not being good enough for Yardley. I’m not good enough for him.”

  She stood and started pacing the bedroom floor. “You said that same shit months ago when I was here. I thought we’d straightened that out.”

  “I thought we did too, but…”

  “But?”

  I hesitated before replying, “We’ve never really had a candid conversation, Momma. Not a real one.”

  She smirked at me. “I’d like to think we’ve had at least one or two.”

  “Well, we haven’t. We’ve beat around the bush, touched upon some subjects, but never truly let it all go.”

  “Then let’s do that now.”

  I took a moment to analyze the situation. I’d been giving things a lot of thought lately and expressing my true feelings to my mother was vital to my sanity. That moment was as good a time as any.

  “Remember the night I lost my virginity?”

  The sarcasm reeked in her voice when she replied, “I remember the night you denied losing your virginity and then finally confessed.”

  I rolled my eyes at her. “It was Ruiz, Momma.”

  “Ruiz!” Momma damn near screamed. “That no-good bastard! He’s just like his father! Fuckin’ pussy hound!”

  She needed to calm the hell down.

  “Momma, do you want to hear this or not?”

  Momma must’ve realized that I’d clam up if she didn’t regain some composure. She did that and then sat down beside me. “Yes, I’m sorry. Go ahead, baby.”

  For some reason, I felt she needed to be familiar with the fact that, “Chance doesn’t even know about this.”

  “Why not? You tell Chance everything.”

  “Well, I’ve never told her this. I’m sure she suspects that he and I have hooked at some point; especially recently.”

  “What happened recently? Isn’t that fool married?” Momma asked with much disdain.

  “He’s divorced and he was supposed to get remarried, but he’s not.”

  “And?”

  “I’ll get to the present, but first let me tell you about the past.”

  Momma sighed. “Okay.”

  “Chance and I had planned to go to the drive-in movies with Ruiz, but she got strep throat.”

  “I remember that. Wasn’t that when she was kissing numerous boys at school?”

  I was surprised Momma even knew about Chance getting caught ass out with those boys. She stayed drunk most of the time and didn’t know if she was coming or going. “Yeah, that’s what happened,” I said.

  “So you and Ruiz went alone?”

  “Yeah. I’ll never forget it. The movie was New Jack City.”

  Momma couldn’t have cared less about the movie title. “And then you all did the nasty?”

  “Yeah,” I replied softly.

  “In his car?”

  “No, he took me over one of his friends’ houses.”

  “I see.”

  She grew quiet, like she was waiting for me to continue. I did.

  “When I gave myself to him that night, I thought it would be special to him. I thought we’d be together from that point on. I was so stupid.”

  She started rubbing my back again. “Rayne, everyone makes mistakes. If I had a nickel for every one I’ve made, I’d be richer than Oprah.”

  I buried my face in my hands. “Momma, you’ve always drilled in my head how men only care about pussy and money. Somewhere along the way, it started making sense to me.”

  “Well, I stick by my word on that. Most men are like that but now I realize that there are exceptions. Exceptions like Yardley.”

  Yardley! What a mess I’d created!

  “I do love him so, Momma.”

  “That’s obvious.”

  “I’m not sure if I can be faithful to him,” I blurted out. “In the long run, I mean.”

  Momma started getting hyper again. “That’s bullshit. You’ve always been a good girl, Rayne. You’re not the type that would cheat. That’s my nature; not yours.”

  I flailed my arms in the air in frustration and then landed them on my thighs. “Momma, you don’t know everything about me. Until a few minutes ago, you didn’t know I’d been with Ruiz.”

  “Okay, I’ll give you that one,” she admitted. “Let me ask you this. Have you ever cheated on a man?”

  Was she for real?

  “Yes, Momma, I’ve cheated on a man.” She looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Don’t look so surprised. You always talked about the world of whoredom and all that shit. You always use the phrase ‘like father, like son.’ What about ‘like mother, like daughter’?”

  “Aw, I get it. You won’t marry him because you’re afraid you’ll turn into me.”

  I jumped up and exclaimed, “I’m afraid I’ve already turned into you!” She scooted up to the edge of the sofa but didn’t get up. I continued, “Ruiz was in town a couple of months ago and it was like we’d never been apart. That night we spent together seemed like it was the night before. He touched me and I was ready to sleep with him. We started making out on Chance’s sofa and if we’d been someplace else—anyplace else—there’s not a doubt in my mind that we would’ve done it.”

  “But you didn’t do it, baby,” Momma stated reassuringly.

  “Not because I didn’t want him.”

  “Rayne, it was a mistake. That was months ago and you and Yardley have been going strong ever since. That man worships the ground you walk on. He stood up in front of everyone he knows in the world today and asked you to be his wife.”

  “I understand that. No one has ever made me feel like him. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I’d never been so confused in my entire life. I’d relived that day at Chance’s apartment with Ruiz a thousand times. How easily I was prepared to give it up; even though Yardley was everything
I desired. I never wanted to hurt Yardley. I’d been hurt enough myself over the years. In the beginning, I had fears that he’d end up cheating on me with Roxie or whoever. Then I started fearing my own actions. I was convinced it was better to break it off and hurt him, instead of dragging it out indefinitely until the inevitable happened.

  “Even though I get excited just thinking about him, I still almost cheated,” I told Momma.

  “That’s the same way your father made me feel.”

  Had she said what I thought she said?

  “My father!” I glared at her. “You know who he is, don’t you?”

  “I’ve always known.” Momma grabbed a toss pillow and clamped it to her chest. “I loved your father.”

  She’d had a relationship with someone.

  I was suddenly livid. “Why’d you let me think I was some cum spot gone awry?”

  “Because it was for the best, at the time.”

  “So who is he?” I demanded to know.

  “He was Mathis Quiroga. Fine ass Mathis Quiroga,” she said in a barely audible tone.

  “Mathis Quiroga,” I repeated. The name was familiar to me.

  “Yes, the Mathis Quiroga.”

  It dawned on me where I knew the name from. “The boxer?”

  Momma nodded. “The boxer.”

  Mathis Quiroga was destined to be the next middleweight boxing champion of the world. With a flawless record and the majority of his wins by knockout, at the time he reigned, there was nobody who could touch him in his weight class. All of Birmingham acted like they’d given birth to him themselves. They called him “The Birmingham Bomber” and all the local school kids learned about him in history classes when I was growing up. He’d been killed by a tragic blow to the temple by Dominic Ortega aka “Silver Bullet” during a bout in Nashville, Tennessee. I had no clue that Momma had ever known him, but I knew for sure she wasn’t lying. Just hearing his name, the way it made me feel inside, was enough proof to me. He was my father.

  “Did he know about me?” I asked.

  “No, he was killed in the ring when I was three months pregnant. I hadn’t told him yet because I was still trying to decide what to do. His family would’ve sworn I was trying to trap him since he was on the brink of becoming a champion. I guess I thought they’d convince him that I was using him and he’d dump me.”