More Than a Kiss

by Layce Gardner

  Amy laughed.

  Jordan said with an ultra-solemn expression, "I'm serious, why are you laughing? I can make hot dogs dozens of ways. Boiled, baked, fried, charred, sliced, diced, on a stick, deep-fried, battered –"

  "Okay, okay, I get the picture."

  "I'm like the Forrest Gump of hot dogs."

  Amy said, "I wasn't laughing at your culinary skills. I’m laughing at your nose."

  "My nose?"

  Amy hooked one finger into the collar of Jordan's shirt and tugged her closer. "Uh huh. You have a tiny bit of pizza sauce on the end of your nose."

  "Are you flirting with me?" Jordan said, tugging Amy’s hips closer to her own.

  "No," Amy said. "This is flirting with you." She stood on her toes and lightly kissed Jordan. The kiss heated up and Jordan pressed into Amy, backing her into the fridge which was sitting in the middle of the floor.

  "Oomph," Amy said, conking her head against the fridge.

  Jordan laughed.

  Amy rubbed the back of her head. "Oh, you think it's funny?" she asked.

  "I'm not laughing at that," Jordan said. "I'm laughing because now you have pizza sauce on the tip of your nose."

  Amy chuckled and reached up to wipe it off, but Jordan caught her hand. "Let me get it." She kissed the end of Amy's nose, stepped back and licked her lips. "Hmm, I think it needs more garlic."

  Amy stepped in to kiss Jordan again, but tripped over a stack of pots and pans on the floor. The pans crashed against the wall and Amy stumbled backwards into the far wall. She laughed, brushed herself off and took one step toward Jordan. She slipped on a cooking sheet, which acted like a skateboard, and sent her hurtling into Jordan’s arms.

  Jordan laughed. "Maybe we ought to sit down. It's safer that way."

  "Ya think?" Amy said. She looked around the floor for any banana peels. She didn't think she could live down another trip to the emergency room. “Who keeps their cookware on the floor?”

  “People without functioning cabinets,” Jordan said.

  Jordan found two chairs stacked behind the cabinets and placed them in the middle of the room facing each other. Amy sat as Jordan peeked into the stove and pronounced, "Won't be long now. It's almost done."

  Jordan sat in the other chair and pulled her little rubber ball out of her pocket and squeezed it.

  Amy said, "You've been practicing?"

  Jordan nodded. "I can almost squeeze it the whole way now. And it's a good stress reliever, too."

  Amy looked closer at the ball. She pointed at a blob of paint on the side of it. "What's that?"

  Jordan smiled and held the ball up for Amy to see. "Edison painted a nipple on it. She thought it might inspire me to squeeze it."

  Amy laughed. "She's very creative."

  "To say the least. Now if she'd just learn to finish a project." Mr. Pip came by and rubbed on Jordan’s leg. She scratched his butt and he purred loudly.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Amy said.

  “Sure.”

  "How can you tell the difference between a friend and a girlfriend?”

  "Well," Jordan replied, "If I squeeze their boob and it feels like squeezing this rubber ball, then I know they're just a friend."

  Amy laughed.

  "I call it the tittie test."

  "I suppose this is the part where I'm supposed to let you squeeze mine?"

  "Well, if you insist," Jordan said. She leaned forward in her chair and kissed Amy. As the kiss deepened, Jordan slipped to her knees between Amy's legs. Amy wrapped her arms around Jordan and placed her hands under the back of her shirt.

  Jordan let go of the rubber ball and it bounced across the floor. Neither one noticed.

  Jordan moved her lips to Amy's neck, nibbling down her shoulder.

  Amy shivered.

  "You okay?" Jordan whispered in her ear.

  “Better than okay,” Amy said.

  Amy wrapped her fingers around Jordan's neck and pulled her lips to hers. She sucked on Jordan's bottom lip and felt her body responding to Jordan in a way she had never experienced before. It was like her body had a mind of its own.

  Jordan nibbled Amy’s neck. “You have a little sauce on your neck,” she said, nibbling down further and further.

  Amy shivered.

  “Whoops, there’s some on your collarbone, too.”

  Amy moaned as Jordan licked and bit her collarbone.

  Jordan breathed, “Wait. There’s more sauce. Let me get it.” She lifted Amy’s shirt and nipped and licked, opening her bra clasp, and letting her mouth and tongue roam over the softness of her breasts. She teased a nipple with her tongue and when Amy moaned, she sucked the hard nipple into her mouth.

  Amy wrapped her legs around Jordan's waist and arched her back. She felt as if every nerve, every fiber of her being was on fire.

  "There’s a fire," somebody said.

  “There sure is,” Amy mumbled.

  "Fire!" the voice screamed.

  Amy's eyes popped open. Fire? Where?

  Edison stood in the doorway with the yellow titty ball in her hand. She was staring at the cloud of black smoke rolling out of the stove. “The oven is on fire!”

  Jordan jumped to her feet just as tiny blue and orange flames shot out of the burners on top of the stove. Mr. Pip howled, arched his back, hissed and leapt up on the top of the cabinets. Jordan danced from foot to foot and flapped her arms, saying “Fire fire fire fire.” At first Amy thought she was trying to shoo away the smoke, but then she realized Jordan was over-excited and hopping around because she didn't know what to do.

  At that moment, the smoke alarm went off. The shrill sound made talking an impossibility. Edison ran toward the stove, grabbed a hot pad off the top of the fridge, put it on and tried to open the oven door. She could only open the door a couple of inches. Thick black smoke billowed out. Edison coughed and waved the hot pad in front of her face.

  Amy pulled her shirt down, ran to the stove and turned it off.

  Jordan hopped to the sink and turned the cold water on full blast. She pulled the spray nozzle out and aimed it across the room at the burning stove. The water arced high in the air and came down directly on top of Edison’s head.

  Edison yelped, dropped the oven mitt and dove away from the stream of water, still hacking from the smoke.

  Jordan threw down the nozzle and kneeled before one of the cabinets. She opened one of the doors and looked inside. She was yelling, but Amy couldn't hear what she was saying over the alarm. Jordan threw open another cabinet door and tossed boxes and cans out into the middle of the room. She opened the third cabinet, rummaged around inside and pulled out a fire extinguisher.

  Jordan ran toward the stove, aimed the fire extinguisher nozzle in front of her. She slipped on the hot pad Edison had dropped on the floor. Her feet went up in the air and her butt slammed down on the linoleum. The spray of the fire extinguisher shot straight up into like a fountain.

  Amy ran to help Jordan. She slipped on the white gunk shooting out of the fire extinguisher and crashed to the floor next to Jordan. Edison rolled to her feet, crossed to Jordan and yanked the fire extinguisher out of her hands. She aimed the nozzle at the stove.

  Unfortunately, the smoke was so thick she couldn't see where the stove was so she played it safe and sprayed the entire kitchen. The flames disappeared, but black smoke still oozed out of every possible crack of the oven.

  Amy got to her feet slowly, slipping and sliding. She turned around in time to see Jordan with a chair raised above her head. She was aiming it at the smoke alarm that was hanging on the wall over the doorway. She whacked at the smoke alarm with the chair’s legs. She succeeded in putting three holes in the wall without touching the smoke alarm once.

  Amy grabbed the chair out of Jordan's hands. She put the chair on the floor, climbed on the seat and yanked the alarm off the wall. Jordan grabbed the alarm out of her hands and tossed it into the sink.

  Edison aimed the sprayer at it and doused it wit
h water. The alarm squealed, squeaked, bleated, belched, then died.

  Silence.

  Amy coughed.

  Jordan threw open the window above the sink.

  Edison turned off the water and marched out of the kitchen without saying a word.

  “I don’t think she’s happy,” Jordan said.

  Amy and Jordan faced each other. They were both smeared with white goop and smelled like burnt pizza.

  “Well,” Amy said, “That was fun.”

  “What now?”

  “Maybe we should go to my house.”

  “Do you have any hot dogs?”

  Amy smiled. “Better. I have a bathtub.”

  Bubble Bath

  Half an hour later, Amy and Jordan were in the bathroom at Amy's house. Jordan was naked, in the tub and up to her neck in bubbles. Amy was wrapped in a towel and sitting on the edge of the tub with her back to Jordan. Amy was having second thoughts about this bubble bath idea. Well, her body wasn’t having second thoughts. Her body was rip-raring to go. Her brain was worried. Her brain kept saying things like “What if she finds me unattractive? She’s seen dozens of women naked, what if she thinks you’re butt is too big? What if she thinks your boobs are too small? What if you start to make love to her and you’re doing it all wrong?”

  "Aren’t you getting in?" Jordan asked.

  "To tell you the truth, I'm a little nervous," Amy said. "I've never done this before."

  "You've never taken a bath?" Jordan teased.

  "Not with a naked lesbian," Amy said.

  Jordan laughed. "Put on your doctor personae. You see naked women all the time, right?”

  "I'm not worried about looking at you. I'm scared about you looking at me."

  "How about if I promise not to look at you?"

  "Can I turn out the lights?"

  "Okay. If that's the only way you'll get in the tub with me."

  Amy crossed to the light switch and turned it off. The room plunged into darkness. She shyly let her towel drop to the floor. She slipped into the tub, facing Jordan and sighed with contentment as the hot water engulfed her.

  "See? Taking a bath with a naked lesbian isn’t all that scary, is it?"

  “I could get used to it,” Amy whispered.

  Jordan took Amy's ankles and stretched her legs out on top of her legs. Amy rested the back of her head against the tub and relaxed as Jordan rubbed her feet. She'd never had anybody rub her feet before. It felt wonderful. Funny how Jordan rubbing her foot felt more sexual than Chad putting his hands all over her body. Did that mean she had always been a lesbian and didn’t know it? Did it mean she was in love with Jordan? Or was it just lust? And why did she have to ask so many questions all the time? Why couldn't she let go and feel? Just feel?

  "What're you thinking about?" Jordan asked.

  "How good it feels, you rubbing my foot," Amy answered.

  "Just wait until I get full use of both my hands."

  Amy slid down further into the tub. Jordan switched to rubbing the other foot. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Amy asked.

  "Sure."

  "Have you been a lesbian your whole life?"

  "Not yet."

  Amy laughed. “You know what I meant.”

  Jordan continued, "Yeah, pretty much. I tried to date a boy in high school but it didn’t work out."

  “Why, what happened?”

  “I kept kissing his sister.”

  Amy laughed. "So me being naked and feeling like making love is all right even if I haven’t been a lesbian before?”

  “Oh, it’s seriously all right. But I have to ask you a question,” Jordan said.

  “Okay.”

  Jordan ran her hand up Amy’s thigh. Amy shuddered. Jordan said, “That crazy guy at the restaurant. He was the one in the hospital room, right?”

  “Yeah,” Amy said, not liking where this was leading.

  “He’s not a homeless man, is he? He knew you.”

  “Yes. He knows me. His name is Chad Dorring. He’s a doctor at the hospital.” The water suddenly felt very cold to Amy. She shivered, but this time not in a good way.

  “What is he to you? Is he your boyfriend?”

  “No,” Amy protested. “He’s not.”

  “Because, if he is…” Jordan continued.

  “He’s not, I promise,” Amy said. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore, okay?”

  There was a lengthy pause, then Jordan said, “All right. Now where were we?”

  “Right about here, I think.” Amy leaned in to kiss Jordan. She ended up with a mouthful of bubbles and sputtered.

  "What was that?" Jordan asked.

  "I was trying to kiss you."

  "Oh. Well, you stuck your face in my armpit."

  They laughed. Jordan said, "You sure you don't want a little light? Just a tiny bit?"

  “I know what.” Amy crawled out of the tub, saying, "Wait right here. I'll go get some candles."

  Jordan heard the door click open and closed. She sank back into the warm water and let her thoughts drift. Of course when she took the bridle off, her thoughts roamed toward the physical. She imagined Amy by candlelight. Amy naked. Amy's lips. Amy's lips kissing her. Amy's breasts. Amy's breasts sudsy and wet. Amy's stomach. Amy's thighs.

  The door opened. “Cover up, I’m coming in.”

  “What?” Jordan squeaked.

  The woman’s voice said, "Sorry, but I can’t wait. I just have to pee real quick. I’ll be in and out."

  Jordan held her breath and hoped this intruder was Amy’s roommate. Maybe if she kept quiet she would hurry and pee and go away.

  Jordan heard shoes squeak across the bathroom floor, the sound of a zipper and then somebody peeing in the toilet. "Sorry, Amy, but I had to go. I don't want to interrupt your zen bath or anything, but I thought I ought to warn you about something."

  This peeing person thought she was Amy! Now Jordan was really at a loss. She didn't know what to do. If she told whoever it was that she wasn't Amy, she would have to explain what she was doing in the tub. And she didn't think Isabel, if it was Isabel, would appreciate a stranger in her bathtub – especially when she had her pants down around her ankles. So, she kept her mouth shut.

  The woman continued, "The word is that Chad is going to ask you to marry him. Tonight. He's on his way over. He told Jeremy that he bought you a ring. Jeremy tried to call you, but you’re not answering your phone, so he called me. He said it was huge! The ring, I mean. Chad told Jeremy you were playing hard to get. Said you were dating somebody else just to get him to man up and buy a ring. So, he did. Can you believe it?"

  No, Jordan could not believe it. But it all made sense. It made sense in an icky kind of way. Amy was playing her just to get this Chad guy.

  The toilet flushed. Which was a good thing because it covered the noise of Jordan’s heart splintering into about a million fucking pieces.

  There was a timid tap at the door and Amy’s voice from the other side said, “Jordan? I couldn’t find any candles. So get ready, here I come in the flesh and nothing else. Let there be light!”

  The overhead light came on.

  Amy stood naked in the doorway with a hand on the light switch. Isabel’s pants were around her ankles. Jordan was naked in the tub.

  They looked at each other.

  Amy said to Isabel, "What're you doing in here?"

  Isabel said, "Peeing. What're you doing naked? And if you’re over there who is that in the bathtub?”

  They looked at Jordan.

  Jordan rose, grabbed a towel from the floor and wrapped it around herself. She found her voice and said, “I’ll tell you who I am. I’m obviously the other woman. The woman who doesn’t know when she’s being played for a fool.” She headed for the door.

  “Wait,” Amy said, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself, too. “What’re you talking about?”

  “Game’s over,” Jordan said. “I’m out of here.” She marched out of the bathroom.


  Amy stayed glued to the floor, unable to comprehend what just happened. She heard the front door open and close. “What happened?” Amy said to Isabel. “I just went to get candles. What happened?”

  Isabel grimaced. “I think I may have accidentally told her Chad was coming over to propose to you.”

  Jordan Runs

  As soon as she cleared the front door, Jordan sprinted around the side of the house and into the backyard. She was wearing only a towel and wasn't eager for the entire neighborhood to see her business. She cut through the backyard and stumbled down the alley. Less of a chance for somebody to see her and call her the cops. She could just see the headline now: Children’s Author Wearing Birthday Suit Runs from Lesbian Lover. Or maybe it would be a headline straight from Chad’s mouth: Lezebel!

  “Ouch!” She was way too tenderfooted to be running around barefoot. Why hadn't she thought to grab her clothes? Or at least her shoes. She tucked the towel tightly around herself and gritted her teeth against the stabs of gravel in her feet.

  "Jordan!"

  That was Amy’s voice. Oh well, let her yell. Let her scream her fool head off. Jordan didn't care.

  That wasn't quite true. She did care. But she didn't want to care. So she was going to pretend not to care in the hopes that eventually she really wouldn't care. That had always worked every other time she had gotten her heart smashed, stomped on and handed back to her.

  "Jordan, stop!"

  Jordan broke into a run. She ran as fast as she could given the circumstances. She ran until she couldn't hear Amy’s voice calling for her and the only thing in her head was the sound of her own blood pumping hard between her ears. Unfortunately, she couldn’t outrun her thoughts. They came at her full force and would not be put off. Was that all she was to Amy? A way to make her boyfriend jealous? Jordan was her girl-toy until Mister Man bucked up with a big, old fat diamond ring, so he could whisk Amy away to Happily Ever After Land. But why did Amy want to sleep with her? She answered her own question - because straight girls do that sometimes. Lord knows, Jordan had run into more than a few of those in her dating days. There should be a rule: One should not experiment with another’s heart. It should be printed on T-shirts and bumper stickers as a reminder.