The Price Of Success (Fighting For Fireworks)

by Lee, Corri

  “Great, I’ll let all the girls know at the next ‘Depressingly Lovelorn Spinsters’ convention. We hook up once a month, trade tips on blowjobs and share recipes for love potions.” The devilish glint that Nathaniel reserved for the moments when he liked to cripple me with embarrassment began to sparkle.

  “Ah.” He hummed agreeably. “That explains a lot.”

  “Pardon me?”

  “Cherry bombs.”

  I rocked back onto my heels and shook my head. He had to be bluffing. “Bullshit. I did not give you a blowjob at The Duplicate.”

  “You don’t remember anything, how do you know?” I crossed my arms defensively and scowled at him. He tried to match my stern stance but his resolve cracked. “Alright, you didn’t. But you will.”

  “Sure, I’ll add that to my to-do list, right between colonic irrigation and necrophilia.”

  Music had started blaring at the hands of a female DJ dressed as the Red Queen when we returned to the function room, and a vast selection of multi-coloured glass pitchers spread across the tables, misting as the goblets had. Pop and alternative rock reverberated through the air and the bass made the floorboards rumble under foot.

  A hand reached out and grabbed mine as we passed the dance floor, heaving me into the arms of a strapping man dressed in a deep purple smoking jacket and the most bizarre top hat I’d seen by far. The lime green velvet boasted rich viridian ripples and a thick orange ribbon, the jet black feather of a raven sent against the plume of a peacock. It was blinding and unbecoming of the man beneath it.

  I instantly saw the family resemblance in the ball-busting grin that Isaac bestowed upon me the moment I fell into his arms. Unruly dark auburn hair slicked down to the nape of his neck and emerald green eyes burned into mine. The small silver hoop through the helix of his left ear was a tell-tale sign that he was dangerous- but not the same type of danger I’d seen in his twin. Nathaniel was domineering and unobtainable, Isaac was a bad boy who looked like he’d fuck anything with a vacant orifice. “Dizygote.”

  “Gesundheit.” I was pushed into giggles. “Are you disappointed that we’re not identical?”

  “Jesus, no. One of Nathaniel is bad enough.” Isaac threw his head back and laughed, throwing me out into a showy twirl and reeling me back in like a prize catch.

  “You’re funny. I like that.” His rich British accent caught me the same way Nathaniel’s had, but his tone was more casual and suburban. There were so few similarities that it was hard to believe they were twins. “Your pictures don’t do you justice.”

  “No, they do-…” I was swept into a pirouette mid-sentence, “… appearances are deceiving when they follow the full arsenal of a makeup artist’s toolbox.”

  “Toolbox?”

  “Oh yeah,” I flicked the fake lashes with my index finger, “these are screwed on.” Isaac wrapped an arm around my waist and forced me into a robotic tango. He certainly suited the Mad Hatter guise. “You throw quite a party, Mr Alexander.”

  He ran his tongue across his teeth with a grin. “You throw quite an endearment- I quite like being called mister. And if you think this is good, you just wait until the real party begins.”

  “Ah yes, I hear that you intend to get me drunk, keep me captive and drug me.”

  “That’s certainly the plan.” Isaac’s bold no nonsense attitude was intoxicating. He was so carefree and open, certainly not the type to fixate on fireworks like Nathaniel and I. “I’ve seen that look in many women’s eyes before, Douglas. But I have orders to keep my hands off.”

  “Cole Fiore isn’t the boss of me.” I was inexplicably determined to exercise my non-existent ethical immunity and take advantage of the fact that my secrets would be protected for one night only. Something in this man told me that I had to have him.

  Isaac raised his hat briefly and bowed to the surrounding dancing guests, hooking his arm through mine and promptly leading me towards a small room off to the side of the function room where drinks were being served by the March Hare. “It’s not the show off who’s ordered hands off- trust me, if it was, that wouldn’t stop me. But seeing as you have that wicked look in your eye, let’s work on other evils. Drink?”

  “Best offer I’ve had all night.” The March Hare pulled out a bottle of green liquid I knew too well. “Oh hell, I am screwed.” A small tumbler was filled with absinthe and pushed into my palm with urgency, like my life depended on my inebriation.

  The whole amount passed down my gullet with ease and heated my stomach as the liquid battled with the overly sweet confectionaries I’d favoured over ‘real’ food. Isaac gave me a congratulatory pat on the back and gathered my hair in one of his fists. “You can pack it away girl. But I reckon I could drink you under the table.”

  “Don’t challenge me, Alexander.” I breathed through the renewed drunken haze that was starting to consume my body. “You can’t out-drink a woman who’s worked in a bar for six years.”

  When we eventually left the bar room with both hands occupied by fogging cocktails, my previous bad mood was a distant memory. I was at the perfect level of intoxication- the level that involved uninhibited flirtation and unrestricted giggles. A photographer hassled Isaac and I for a snapshot- he joked about a Hollywood kiss and I agreed. He retracted his offer the moment he realised I was serious. It was obvious that he had to exercise some serious self-restraint, and as flattered as I was, I wished that he’d stop.

  “Apparently women like me only have to ask nicely if we want to bag billionaires.” I slurred at him, leaning against the wall next to me with my ankles crossed, making my intentions clear.

  “Wrong billionaire, Cecelia.” Isaac jerked his head towards one of the furthest tables, where Nathaniel stood with his back to us, talking to a notably famous pop star and casually propping himself up on his walking cane. I looked in his direction for only a moment before he halted his conversation to turn and look at me. Even from my considerable distance, I could see his irises glow in the flashing white lights of the dance floor. It was like he somehow knew that I was looking at him. A smile slowly spread across his features and my face immediately mirrored the grin. “Definitely the wrong billionaire.”

  My attention snapped back to Isaac and I corrected my mentality with a slow inhale. I totally understood why Nathaniel had so ably fried Bethany’s brains for so long. “It’s not like that. We’re both attached.”

  “Like what? Did I say anything?” Isaac arched his brow at me and gave me a knowing look. “You walked straight into that, Cecelia.”

  I hid my defensive blush behind one of my cocktails. “Walked into what?”

  “Well played.”

  My gaze slipped back across the room to Nathaniel, who strode across the floor swinging his cane like the savagely sophisticated and predatory young man the media portrayed him as. Every inch of him screamed white collar animal magnetism- that dazzling smile, the arch of his back, his broad confident stride…

  My knees buckled underneath me, splashing the floor with saccharine nectar from the goblets in my hands. Isaac leapt forward to right me, thumbs brushing my forearms with more sympathy than affection. “You looked at him too hard, didn’t you?” My forehead creased into a frown when the realisation hit me- my tumble had been the result of my knees weakening. I was hot for Nathaniel Alexander. “You’ve only just realised, haven’t you?”

  “Beer goggles,” I choked in denial, “he does my head in.”

  “It’s written all over your face, Cecelia- it has been every time you’ve been photographed together.”

  “He’s attached. So am I.” I snapped and hazarded another glance in Nathaniel’s direction. He was lounged out in his chair, casually snacking on a fresh plate of food. My thumb unconsciously ran across the band of the claddagh ring- an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Isaac. My hand fisted around the goblet at the sound of his soft laugh and I tossed back the cocktail in one gulp. The candy cane flavour had lost its appeal, becoming too sickly to tolerate, and chu
rned in battle with the absinthe. Desperate to rid myself of both taste and reality, I downed the other full goblet with steady determination and discarded the cups on the silver tray of an approaching waiter.

  “The usual reaction to realising you want to pounce on someone is shameless flirting and chat up lines, but you’re drowning your sorrows?” I glared at Isaac acidly and straightened the bust of my dress, sobriety sneaking up on me like a thief in the night despite the lethal amount of alcohol pumping through my veins. I refused to mar my working relationship with Nathaniel with unwelcome advances. “What happens in Wonderland stays in Wonderland.”

  “Unless the person holding your secrets climbs back up the rabbit hole with you. What happens in Wonderland follows me back to Nathaniel’s office and I am-…” I pinched my fingers together with a squint, “… this close to achieving my dreams.”

  “Haven’t you heard of calculated risks?” My eyes narrowed. I was utterly sick of hearing that phrase- it was why I was in such an awkward and unfulfilling relationship with Cole, after all.

  “My last calculated risk is slowly but surely eating away at my spirit, Isaac.” I muttered, keeping one eye fixed on Nathaniel. Now I’d started to see him that way, I just couldn’t stop. It was unhealthy. “I have little in my life to stimulate me mentally other than Nathaniel picking at my novel and I have a boyfriend who doesn’t get me off- like I told your brother earlier, I’m a fantasist. Our dealings will be over in a week and I’ll never see him again. It’s not worth making those last seven days awkward over this-…” I wrinkled my nose and threw out my free hand, “… this. I probably won’t even feel the same in the morning.”

  “Get a grip, Cecelia. You’re crazy about him and you don’t even know it. You need to-…”

  I interrupted Isaac by stepping right up to him so our bodies touched, tugging at the collar of his smoking jacket so his mouth was almost on mine. “What I need is an orgasm, and I get the impression that you’re just the m-…” My voice trailed off when I caught a glimpse of Nathaniel rising from his seat and throwing his arms around the waist of a truly beautiful copper haired woman in a floating jade green gown that skimmed the floor around her feet. She didn’t coordinate with the variety of outlandish outfits that surrounded her, which meant that her beauty stood out more.

  My stomach knotted as Nathaniel and his companion held each other by the shoulders and spoke animatedly, eyes locked and deep with affection.

  It was her. The significant woman.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Cecelia?” I took a step back from Isaac the moment Nathaniel and the significant woman simultaneously turned to look at me and waved. She smiled at me like an old friend, like she knew all about me.

  My stomach bubbled and flipped. “I have to-…” I quickly fled for the door and found myself standing back outside in the garden, disgracefully voiding the contents of my stomach into a rose bush in a violent and unjust declaration of jealousy.

  I sagged against the wall and crumpled to the ground with my hands combed into my tangled mane and let my mind stagger through my actions over the last fortnight. My willingness to open up to him, the way his voice made me smile every time he called, the way my breath hitched every time he touched me, the way I felt his presence when he walked into a room, the way he’d calmed me and made the world vanish around me that morning… You fucking moron, you’re in love with him.

  “You look like a woman who’s just had an epiphany.” My stomach clenched when the hem of a jade green gown loomed next to me. “Cecelia, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her accent was as crisp as the Alexander’s but breathy and light. “Want to talk about it?”

  “I’d rather not.” I hoisted myself up to my feet and wiped my mouth on my forearm, leaving a long smudge of lipstick across my skin. You’re making an idiot of yourself.

  The beautiful woman in front of me reached for my hand with a kind smile on her perfectly chiselled face. Her aggressive beauty nearly had me sticking my head back in the bushes. “Come on, let’s get you tidied up.” I allowed myself to be pulled into the house and into the deeper undecorated upstairs rooms that were out of limits to the other guests. She locked us into a grand master bedroom furnished in rich mahogany chests and cupboards that put me in mind of Nathaniel’s office, and waved a hand towards a stool at a vanity table, ducking into the en suite bathroom for a moment. “I’ve seen a lot of priceless reactions to people meeting me, but throwing up in one of my rose bushes is by far the most impressive.”

  My forehead creased. “Your rose bushes? I thought this was Isaac’s place.”

  “Are you joking?” She swanned back out towards me with a packet of makeup wipes and a metal case. “This place is way too far out of reach for his casual lays and favourite watering holes. The boys have houses in the city- but I like my solitude.” My jaw tightened- she was beautiful, well-spoken and stinking rich, of course Nathaniel was in love with her. She had the same deep green eyes as Isaac, edged with long sweeping lashes, and naturally full crimson lips that would have made the straightest woman debate a brush with homosexuality for her.

  Without invitation, she began to erase all traces of makeup from my skin and made light work of recoating my face into something far more modest and complimentary. “I don’t know why they caked you up so much- you have such beautiful skin and features. I know of some agencies who’d be chomping at the bit to sign you for some haute couture shoots.”

  “Not when I’m two inches too short.” I stared at her sternly as she nudged my chin up with an index finger and began to dab at my lips with the nub of a burgundy lipstick. I couldn’t stand that she was being so pleasant to me. “You’re one of Nathaniel’s significant women.”

  “I should bloody well hope so. And your adverse reaction to seeing him with another woman speaks volumes about what he is to you.” I pulled my face back, expecting to be slapped, bitten or given my marching orders. She wound down the lipstick and replaced its cap. “You think I’m-… Oh jeez.” She gripped the lipstick in one palm and offered the other hand with the intention of me shaking it. “I should have introduced myself before I bombarded you. I’m Cornelia Alexander, Nathaniel’s big sister.”

  Relief flooded through me along with tears- I buried my face in my hands, riddled with shame and embarrassment. “I’m not making much of a first impression, am I?”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she laughed, “after a few months in Milan, it’s nice to come into contact with a real person with real emotions instead of a plastered on smile.” I took a deep breath to stem the tears and turned into the mirror to carefully dab at my eyes, pulling off the black kid gloves and tucking them into the lining of my top hat. “So, you’re in love with my little brother.”

  “I’ll get over it. I doubt I’m the first and I doubt I’ll be the last.”

  “That’s a dead cert, but do you want to get over it?”

  “I have to.” Our eyes met in the mirror. “I have a boyfriend and Nathaniel has a girlfriend.” Cornelia rolled her eyes and paced over to my side, pulling the pins from my hair and restyling it into something more neutral but still supportive. My time sat in my lounge being brushed and backcombed would have been significantly shorter if Cornelia had arrived instead.

  “Nathaniel doesn’t have a girlfriend, Cecelia. He has his sights set on someone, but they’re not an item. I did tell him that he ought to clarify that.” I fought past the backflip of joy that my heart did and looked at anything other than her reflection in the mirror. His availability didn’t nullify my relationship with Cole and his heart was still occupied.

  “He’s still emotionally invested. And so am I. I just have to get through the next week, then when we’re not working so closely, this madness will pass. It’s impossible to think straight around him, he’s so fucking intense.”

  Cornelia leaned over and tapped the claddagh ring on my right hand, shrugging helplessly. “He gave you that ring so there will never be a distance between you
. There is always going to be a tether that keeps you in his life- that’s why he’s done it. He’s not going to let you walk away that easily, he treasures your presence.”

  I rose to my feet, pulling the top hat back onto my head with a scowl. I hated the thought of my friendship being cherished in such a way, like I was the friend who was just like a sister. Watching him frolic with another woman and having to disguise my feelings while he told me how wonderful she was would drive me to insanity, maybe even crimes of passion. I couldn’t keep that source of torment in my life. “Well he needs to. I’m going to pose an unintentional threat to the woman of his dreams and I won’t mess that up for him. He should be happy.”

  “Have you heard of calc-…”

  “If you say ‘calculated risks’ I’ll find another bush to throw up in,” I warned, “Nathaniel’s suggestion to make calculated risks is how I ended up with a boyfriend whose love I can’t return because it’s apparently tied up in someone else.” The depth of my words didn’t hit me until they left my mouth. My inability to connect with Cole was down to Nathaniel- it had always been down to Nathaniel. I had loved him since the moment his shadow fell across mine in Alexander Publishing House. Cole’s paranoia was justified.

  Cornelia pulled the door of the bedroom open and nodded her head in the direction of the pounding music. “Another epiphany? I think you need another drink.”

  Isaac and Nathaniel stood at the foot of the stairs chatting quietly when Cornelia and I made our descent. I missed a step when his gaze fell on me and his face dropped at the sight of my red eyes and redone makeup. Now that I was aware of the depth of my fondness for Nathaniel, everything was intensified and impossible to ignore, but harder to hide.

  Cornelia must have sensed my tension- she scurried down to keep a step ahead of me and breezed towards her brothers with unspeakable grace. “Those cocktails are beastly, Isaac, what on earth were you thinking? Filling a woman with cheap spirits when she should be drinking nothing but Bollinger, shame on you.” She swept them both away by their arms, leaving me to steady my mind and return to the function room alone to collect my clutch bag from the table.