The Price Of Success (Fighting For Fireworks)

by Lee, Corri

  I lasted three paragraphs before I put it back in her in-tray with a grimace. "That was-..."

  "Disgusting, I know. Like I said, penance." She shook her head grimly and turned back to me with another weak smile. "So please tell me you're here to see Nathaniel." I raised an eyebrow and pulled a face. I hadn't entirely decided on whether I'd visit the office or whether I'd just leave the keys with Irina. I just knew that Adam and Cole would give me no peace until I left the house. "Oh god, please go down there. He's in a meeting right now but he's been stalking the office floor and snapping at everyone all day."

  "I could have sworn you were up for keeping us separate."

  "I was," Bethany raised an eyebrow and leaned back in her swivelling desk chair, "until Cole gave you up like the bad habit you are."

  "Bad habit? Thank you?" I coughed a half laugh and felt my heart leap into my mouth when the door to Eleanor's office opened. She looked me up and down with intense scrutiny before slouching against the door frame wearing a catty smirk. Her bad mood was obvious, and something I knew from Bethany's tales of torn up memos and smashed mugs to avoid. But with no exit close by, I could see that it would be me in the firing line.

  "Well," she snarled, "hasn't he done a good job of you?" I could tell from the hardness in her eyes that I wouldn't like the elaboration, but I was going to get it anyway. "You see him for the first time and instantly hate him and now, three weeks later, you're taking punches for him. Bravo, Alexander. What was it that broke you? The promise of eternity? The offer of paradise? The view from his bedroom?" How did she know about the view from his bedroom? "I should say his mission is accomplished."

  "Pardon me?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. I really didn't want to hear any more.

  "Well, it was only last month that I heard the twins discussing how the public is beginning to bore of his quest for true love and attention was waning. Women used to write novellas and send them in just the hope of being called in for a meeting with him, but now there are hotter bachelors roaming the streets. And then you walked in with those bloody eyes, no pun intended," she added with a whisper, "a ready-made wife who just needed a little fine tuning and coercing." My jaw dropped and I turned to Bethany, who shook her head and mouthed 'no' like I should just ignore the bitchiness.

  Eleanor threw her head back and laughed loud enough to attract the attention of the office. "Stop kidding yourself, girls. Nathaniel needed a face by his side to amp up interest. Cecelia just happens to have a USP in her eyes and conveniently fell into his lap. You could have been any woman with a unique feature and you would have been whisked off to that loft and had a ring put on your finger. The sad fact was that you made it easy for him by sitting in his office and he didn't even need to search for a candidate. But you, you're just too much hard work. You're too smart to be a trophy wife." I stammered and stared down at my hands. Every time we'd been pictured in public together- had it all been orchestrated as a publicity stunt? "See now, that's what he needs." Eleanor nodded her head down the office to the lift doors, which had just opened on a leggy albino woman in a mini-skirt and Nathaniel leading her out with one hand on the small of her back and the other straightening his tie. "Unorthodoxly beautiful, compliant and dumb as a post." I automatically stood up to take a look at the peculiar creature hanging on Nathaniel's every word. Her counterfeit Gucci handbag told me all that I needed to know.

  Fake, money hungry, and my replacement.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  I stuttered and stepped back when our eyes met, not really knowing where to put myself. It had taken him less than twenty-four hours to find a much skinnier and aesthetically diverse bimbo to hang from his arm like a designer bracelet. She was so svelte- easily the size zero that Cornelia coveted, and those legs made me look positively stumpy. She was just a waif next to him but the blinding white hair, unearthly pale skin and piercing ultramarine eyes made her truly spectacular. There was no doubt that she far surpassed my curves and yellowing contusions.

  My hurt and disappointment escaped in a small gasp and I quickly turned for the exit. My heels clattered against the marble and I made as much of a scene in my hasty exit as I had done when I'd arrived. There was just no way I could stay there and watch them exist together- her so happily kept and him so mentally unchallenged. My chin quivered as all of the images of the future that I'd secretly imagined flashed into the forefront of my mind and were torn to shreds by the albino's artificial nails.

  "Cecelia!" My pace quickened as Nathaniel's voice approached behind me. I could hear him take only one step to every two of mine but he gained on me so rapidly that I could hear his breath. "Cecelia, damn it, stop! I've been waiting for you all day." His hand flew past my head as I reached the glass security door and held it shut, completely hindering my chances of escape.

  "Let me out." His hand settled on my shoulder and his thumb stretched across to stroke the nape of my neck. I shrugged him off and twisted away from his reach with my hands held up. "Jesus, stop it before your girlfriend sees!"

  "Girlfriend?" Nathaniel gaped at me for a moment and turned to look at the slender whippet of a woman. "Viveka? She's not-..." His forehead creased and his lips pressed into a line. "Come with me." He made a grab for my hand and growled when I pulled it away from his reach. "Just come with me, please." I waved for him to proceed and crossed my arms.

  "Go on then."

  He raised an eyebrow at me and sighed. "Do you think I'm stupid? As soon as I've turned the other way, you'll be out of that door." Oh, he had me all figured out. "Viveka is a beauty therapist, Cecelia."

  I stared at him for a moment and then shifted my gaze to his feet. He didn't really strike me as the face pack and manicure metrosexual type. "I had hoped you'd arrive while she was here." He stepped towards me and pushed my chin up carefully with the tip of his index finger. "I was asking her about your bruising." My eyes widened at him. His expression was entirely unreadable. I could kid myself into thinking that he was doing it to help my self-esteem- of which was not overly damaged- or that it was another 'investment'. I had no interest in being arm candy, none at all, and I didn't appreciate being called in to be 'fixed'.

  Nathaniel led me back up to Bethany's desk and urged me to stay put while he knocked on Eleanor's office door. Bethany looked up at me inquisitively and glanced over at Viveka, the albino. I mouthed 'bruises' with a shrug and knotted my fingers in front of me nervously. I had never felt more like the naughty school girl standing before the headmaster's door in my life.

  Eleanor's door swung open and she blinked in surprise at Nathaniel, almost genuinely shocked that he was there. He towered over her and pointed in my direction, the callous dictator side of him shining through. "Would you like to tell me exactly what you just said that had Cecelia fleeing from the building?"

  She half laughed and grinned falsely with too much tooth on show. "Haven't the foggiest idea what you mean."

  Nathaniel looked over his shoulder at me, and then glanced down at Bethany. "Then maybe Miss Marshall can tell me." She stammered and attempted to object with a series of indignant grunts, just as she had before Nathaniel had become so closely involved in our lives. He was frying her brain again, and it was done simply with the masque of authority that he donned at will, somewhat more frequently than necessary. "Remember who pays your salary and has some sensitive surveillance footage, Bethany." Intimidation and blackmail hardly seemed like good ways to manage his staff and boost morale.

  "Nathaniel, that's really unfair." I stepped towards him and scowled. "We've had this conversation before- you can't manipulate people to comply with your demands."

  He lifted his head skywards and sighed. He had to be as fed up of being told off like a child as I was of administering the scoldings. "You're right, I'm sorry." Eleanor stared at me and rose an eyebrow, clearly stunned by my ability to discipline him. Yes, you've underestimated me, I thought, raising an eyebrow in return. "Bethany, please tell me what was said."

 
Bethany screwed up her eyes and cradled her head in her hands. "That the public focus surrounding you is starting to subside so you need a trophy wife with a hook, and Cecelia just happened to be in the right place at the right time."

  "And?"

  "And that you just needed to beat her down and brush her up a bit, but she's too much hard work so you've replaced her."

  That cold slate stare I'd seen the previous day cast over his eyes again as he turned back around to Eleanor. "There was a reason why you were hired as a commissioning editor and not my personal fucking relationship councillor, Eleanor. You're fired, get out of my building. Bethany, take the rest of the afternoon off and prepare to move into your new office on Monday morning."

  "What?" The three of us reacted simultaneously.

  "Eleanor fired, Bethany promoted. Not a difficult concept, ladies. Cecelia, Viveka- please come down to the office with me." The albino moved immediately when he passed her, walking in his shadow like an obedient little lapdog. I, however, trailed behind and addressed the text message that arrived immediately after I stepped away from Bethany's desk.

  WTF :O for real? xxx

  I jogged forward a few steps to catch up with Nathaniel and slowed at his side. "Are you really promoting Bethy to commissioning editor?"

  "Yes," he snapped, "I won't tolerate anybody interfering in my life." I stopped in my tracks and froze as my mind was overwhelmed with doubt and concern. How far would Nathaniel go to eliminate an interference? Stop thinking it, I told myself, forcing myself to stop looking for hidden subtext and drama.

  He was oppressively silent while Viveka worked her holistic magic- covering my lower face and neck with warm wet flannels, and smothering my eyes with some sort of miracle cream. "How does she compare to yesterday, Mr Alexander?" She was Swedish, and her voice was uncharacteristically deep for a woman so sylphlike.

  "Better." He answered without even really looking at me. "She looked like a train wreck yesterday." I was bowled over by his empathy, or tactless lack thereof. If I'd had any lingering hope that he felt anything for me, his bold and unfriendly observation drained it. It wounded me that he'd called me so persistently just to drag me into the office and berate me. "How long will it take for the remaining damage to become latent? She needs to be in the public eye."

  "If she applies the cream and heals well, it will be a few days before the bruising around her eyes can be covered with make-up."

  "Are you saying that it can't be covered now?"

  Viveka looked back at Nathaniel and exhaled sharply through her nose. "If you want her to look like a drag queen."

  "Would you two stop talking about me like I'm not even here?" I pulled the flannels from my face and threw them down on his desk in a huff, turning on my heels to collect my coat and stomping towards the door.

  "Stop." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the handle of the door. I pulled it a few times, seething that it wouldn't open. "Viveka, please let Irina know what Miss Douglas will need from you and set your fee. I'll call you later to discuss."

  "Of course." The door beeped loudly as the lock released when she stepped up beside me and pulled it open with ease. She swayed slightly to bump shoulders with me and sighed. "Good luck with that one, Miss Douglas."

  "Don't even think about it." Nathaniel hissed at me when I reached for the door before it shut completely. "Sit down." My fists clenched at my sides in annoyance- who was he to order me around? "You asked me not to let you push me away and yet you're always walking out on me."

  "You walked out on me yesterday, remember?" I turned around to look at him and struggled not to weaken as I always did. "You walked out on me when I asked you to stay strong and left me standing here on my own, showing me that what I did and who I am mean nothing to you." The look on his face suggested that maybe he hadn't seen it my way but was in no hurry to admit fault.

  "Shut up and sit down."

  I scoffed and sucked in my tears. "Blow me, Nathaniel. Let me out- I'm not your pet project."

  He held up a remote control that unlocked the door and shrugged at me. "You want to leave? Feel free. But I'm not going to make it easy for you." I couldn't stand to look at the harsh steel of his eyes- he was still that devil who flew from the office and abandoned me. He wasn't what I wanted, and in reality, never was. Too powerful, too prominent and too prone to run hot and cold. I loved him, but not enough to sell my soul and become disposable.

  I walked over to his desk and tentatively reached out for the remote control, hindered by the fear of his reaction. My finger reached the button and the door beeped and clicked open, my exit clear. Nothing was stopping me from walking out except him. "Is the final draft alright?"

  "Probably, it's going to print anyway. I would have published your novel the way it fell onto my desk three weeks ago." I looked up to his face slowly, jaw clenched. I felt sick at the omission that I'd agonised over nothing. "Yes, I was nitpicking to keep you close. Don't throw this away, Cecelia."

  "You're the one who threw it away, Nathaniel." I stepped back from the desk and slowly retreated backwards towards the door. "I would have willingly given my life for it and you walked out on me and ignored me all afternoon."

  "Because I was excluding your involvement. I was trying to protect you, but you had to go to work and get caught in the crossfire anyway." Nathaniel rose from his seat and approached me slowly with a hand out-stretched. His eyes softened to mimic the glittering mercury of my own, and that masque of hostility began to slip. "I was distraught when I heard that you'd been hurt." His voice cracked and my lover broke through. But he wasn't the same- not now. He was a nefarious fiend with a God complex.

  "You were responsible." I clasped my hand to my mouth and swallowed down the bile that rose to my throat. "I've done nothing but defend you since last night and told everyone that you weren't capable of something so cruel. Cole could have been killed."

  Nathaniel pursed his lips nonchalantly and stuffed his hands into his pockets, his true opinion of how insignificant one man's life is immediately obvious. "Maybe. That much I couldn't control. They would have taken it as far as their own personal senses of justice saw fit."

  "You make it sound perso-..." I stopped mid-word as the puzzle pieces suddenly began to slot together. "Isla. Isla Clark. Aiden's sister." Those eyes that had stared down at me, the way the thugs had run when they saw me immobile on the ground instead of carrying on, the voice that shouted my name when I was struck. That wasn't Cole's voice. "Oh my god." I pushed past Nathaniel and scurried into his bathroom, gripping firmly onto the sides of the toilet seat, my chest heaving with the building pressure. Nothing came- I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten so I must have been empty. One hand settled on my shoulder while the other reached for mine and wrapped my fingers around an inhaler. I frowned, utterly confused. “I didn’t bring this with me.” I rasped.

  “I know. I had my doctor give me a spare for emergencies. I take it everywhere.” Nathaniel scooped me up from the bathroom floor and carried me back into his office, cradling me in his arms. The instant rush of relief from being held was overwhelming and reopened the floodgates that I'd already purged once that day. "I never left you, Cecelia. I watched you from a distance all day. But I couldn't keep you in a situation where being in the same room as me put you at risk." He sank down onto the chaise longue and kneaded my shoulder with his palm.

  "So you had Aiden and Isaac beat the shit out of Cole? That's fucked up, Nathaniel!" It was the kind of extravagant gesture that I would have returned for store credit if it came with a gift receipt. I whimpered disgracefully through my tears and rested my head on his shoulder, hoping that somehow he could still provide comfort despite his wrong-doings.

  He wound an arm around my waist and leaned his cheek against my head. "That was Isaac's idea after he saw the state of you, actually. I wanted to keep it anonymous but they were only too happy to offer their services to exact revenge in your honour. You have some very loyal friends, Cecelia."

&nbs
p; I gasped and pulled myself out of his embrace, slinking around to the other side of the chaise longue to put a barrier between us. "Don't act like you've done me some sort of justice by breaking a man's arm! What you've done- all three of you- is stupid and reckless. Nathaniel, this isn't good for you." I wandered aimlessly around the office and eventually settled down into the seat I'd possessed for three weeks. "There isn't a reason good enough for you to risk your career by deploying masked assailants to attack a man publicly noted as your competitor."

  "You are the reason. Everything I have done was for you."

  "I'm not a good enough reason either."

  He shook his head at me, wearing a bitter I'm-sick-of-this-conversation expression. "Shut up, Cecelia, I spent a lot of money in the name of making you 'good enough'." He winced, immediately sensing the error of his words.

  I choked a laugh of contempt and averted my gaze, sincerely hoping that there had been a Freudian slip somewhere along the way. "Would you like a chance to reword that extremely negatively charged sentiment? Because that sounded an awful lot like you looked at me and thought 'hmm, Carrie, let's turn her into a prom queen.' "

  "That's not it at all." He shifted across to the edge of the chaise longue and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "The moment I saw you, I saw what you had to offer and brought that beauty out for all to see." He winced again as I shot up from my seat and swept an arm across his desk, sending a plethora of paperwork and fancy stationary flying across his office. That small act of destruction did little to calm me but showed him just a fraction of how much he had offended me.

  "I was already beautiful, Nathaniel!" I wasn't keen on admitting that I never would have said that about myself before he walked into my life. "No more or less beautiful than the day I squeaked into your building, that's what you said!" Eleanor's words from the morning of my first official meeting with Nathaniel sprung back into my mind. "You were grooming me."