The Price Of Success (Fighting For Fireworks)

by Lee, Corri

  "You know," I mused, stepping down onto the concrete, "in the spirit of picking out plot holes in poorly conducted story-lines," I nodded towards the cinema doors, "something has been bugging me."

  "Sounds ominous," Nathaniel replied warily, "go on."

  "When you told that journalist, writer, whatever- that you had significant women, you counted four. Your mother and Lobke were two that you easily announced. But if the other two are Bethany and I, where does Cornelia come into it?"

  He stared at me for a while before slapping a hand to his mouth and laughing. "Do you know, I completely forgot about her. I'm a terrible brother!"

  "The worst," I added scornfully, shaking my head lowly, "you'd best compensate for it by being a wonderful husband." I involuntarily shuddered upon speaking the word. It certainly wasn't something I'd ever imagined saying in reference to myself, let alone in reference to the smoking hot and stinking rich highly sought after bachelor in front of me.

  "What was that?"

  "Satisfaction," I grinned and swelled. "You know, you're allowed to kiss me in public now."

  Without a word, he cupped my face in my hands and my world stopped. Nothing needed to be said between us when it was all written in his eyes. All the heat, all the passion and all his fear poured into me in a single look and left me breathless and weak, revitalised only by the gentle kiss he laid on my lips. It quickly escalated to become the deepest and most organic kiss we'd shared, comparable only to our first kiss in Cornelia's pool. It seemed as though our bodies melded together and we fused, yin and yang united.

  We both stifled a laugh when I purred and flexed in the way that he'd insisted on embarrassing me with, and he quickly swept me down into a Hollywood kiss. A deafening crack of applause burst from the street and left me red faced. While it may have not been our first kiss, it was the first one that the public had seen and I had no doubt that it would set a standard for every star-crossed lover who saw it.

  Nathaniel shuffled uncomfortably and adjusted his trousers with a blush. "I've been kissing you intermittently for two weeks and I still always come out of it worse off."

  "One week," I corrected, "the charity event was only last Friday."

  "Ah, of course. You don't remember the Duplicate." Those damned cherry bombs! I'm sure that if I'd remembered kissing him then, I wouldn't have gone back to Cole. "You told me that you loved me that night." I raised an eyebrow sceptically. "No, really. Ask Bethany. That was the only glimmer of hope I needed to pursue you."

  I murmured quietly about not being convinced and smoothed out the creases in the arms of his jacket. "I'll call you in a couple of hours and then you can refresh my memory. No cherry bombs."

  "Wouldn't dream of it- I like you lucid. And then I can sweep you off for our happily ever after?"

  Of course he couldn't. Would I still have so much to tell you if it had been that simple?

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  "Um, WOW." I walked into the cinema's foyer and found three jaws on the floor, and then looked up to find them attached to Adam, Bethany and Cole.

  "What?" I asked innocently, stifling a grin as I stepped up to the ticket booth. I was trying to be casual and impassive but it was tremendously difficult. "Oh, that. That was a publicity stunt." I glanced over my shoulder at Bethany and smirked. "Have you told them?"

  She squeaked at me and shook her head. "I'd completely forgotten! We're all more interested in what happened in the office."

  Play it cool, Alexander-to-be, I urged myself, tucking my hands into my pockets and pacing back over to them. "Eleanor was right," I shrugged, "he was grooming me as a trophy wife. He bought my attention and purposely put me in situations that would boost media focus on him. As I'm still around, we're going to stage a marriage and buy a couple of babies from Africa. Maybe one from China. That would do wonders for his credibility."

  All three faces dropped and darkened. "Please say that you're joking." I didn't know whether I should have been insulted that they had to ask.

  "Of course I'm bloody joking! Give me some credit!" I admonished them with a grunt and sashayed over to the confectionery stand, suspecting that they would have nothing as delicious as the virile juice that had settled in my stomach. Bethany galloped up to my side and tugged at my left arm, which I stiffened to prevent my hand from leaving my pocket. "I don't know what you're after, I haven't got any chocolate yet."

  "You know damn well what I'm after!" She grabbed and groped at my side until she found a ticklish spot and retrieved my hand with a flourish. Her resulting ultrasonic scream could only be heard by bats and whales. "We're getting married!"

  I rolled my eyes and bumped into her to set her off balance. "I am, you're not. Nathaniel isn't a Mormon."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Not with his explicit knowledge of the Bible." I quickly found myself pulled back by both arms into a bear hug with Cole- one slightly too tight to not be teeming with jealousy. I could tell that he thought that there'd be no space for him in my life if I was with Nathaniel and held onto me like he'd never have the chance to again. "Don't think you're getting rid of me that easily, Fiore. I still need someone to give me away at the altar." He looked down at me in confusion and frowned. "You heard me. You've done it once already, you can damn well do it again in a posh suit."

  "I don't think Nathaniel would be keen on the idea." It looked almost like he was a little intimidated, and I knew enough to think that the fear might be justified.

  "Nate will do as he's told." I winked and pulled myself free, engaging in an awkward hug with Adam- my actions when I woke up on him clearly not forgotten by either of us- and stood with my hands on my hips. "Right, are we going to get this three-way celebration off the runway or not?"

  "Three-way?" I raised an eyebrow at Bethany and shoved her forward into the men, encouraging her to steal my limelight with her own piece of good news. It wasn't often that either of us had something major to announce and it was ironic how our good fortune had fallen on the same day.

  She smiled coyly and fiddled with her nails. "Oh, nothing big. I've only been promoted to commissioning editor." Adam and Cole stood stunned for a moment.

  "So... you took your bosses husband and then took her job?" Adam stuck his tongue out at her and swept her up to twirl her around. There was a definite impression that he still held a flame for her. "I'm so proud of you!"

  We all split into laughter and head deeper into the cinema, arms laden with junk food and huge beakers of icy slush to quench the thirst that the salted popcorn would inevitably provoke.

  Something you want to tell me?

  The text from Nathaniel arrived halfway through the film and made me the target of a vast amount of popcorn and disapproving stares from the other people sat in the screening room. I smiled apologetically and sank down in my seat, snuggling against Bethany while we shared a mischievous chuckle. Only naughty girls got caught with their mobile phones on loud in cinemas, and we were certainly playing the part.

  Nothing appropriate for a public place ;)

  She gagged next to my ear and opened us up to more hisses and projectiles. "Are you really going on holiday tonight?" I grinned and made a variety of crude gestures to imply exactly what the holiday would involve. "Gross," she whispered, "don't you dare get married without me."

  "As if." There was no way I could imagine Bethany not playing a major part in my wedding plans- it was probable that she had already decided on my colour scheme. Even if we eloped, she'd force us into throwing an unnecessarily large and outrageous party.

  Really? Are you quite sure?

  "Jesus, he's insatiable."

  "You try having sex with you and not getting some serious withdrawal symptoms." Cole pulled a face at me and reached over to steal my drink.

  I wrinkled my nose at him and sneered. "Ugh, you creep." Though I was comforted by the fact that he was at ease enough to joke about our bungled sexual encounters.

  I would love to spend the next hour sexting, but I'm
pissing people off.

  Leave. Now.

  Adam snatched my phone over my shoulder, rudely scrolling through our conversation with a frown. "I'm guessing Nathaniel isn't a vegetarian?"

  "What?" Bethany and I whispered together.

  "He's got beef."

  "What?" I laughed and held out my hand for my phone. "If by beef you mean 'hot beef injection', yes." Bethany high-fived me quietly while the guys groaned at my joke. It always seemed to cause more offence when I was the one who made tawdry insinuations because nobody ever suspected that I was the type.

  I sent one last reply before I turned my phone off and stuffed it into my coat pocket.

  Contain yourself, Alexander. This time tomorrow you can fuck me in all three corners of the Bermuda Triangle- we'll make up for lost time.

  "I'm sick of seeing your tits on every corner, Cecelia." That was a blatant lie. I snickered as we walked arm in arm down the street towards the bar closest to the cinema and nodded my head towards one of the numerous posters for my novel.

  I shoved Bethany so she lurched into Adam and stuck my tongue out. "Liar, you love my tits."

  "Fair point. We could have had some wild times if you weren't running off with Mr Monopoly." I didn't dare to look at Bethany, knowing that group sex was on her bucket list.

  "As if. I heard enough over the Mickey Avalon to know what you're like. I'm not keen on being psychoanalysed during an orgy. Speaking of Mr Monopoly-..." I pulled my idle phone out of my pocket to turn it on and promptly dropped it, the cover and battery flying away on impact. "Crap. Go on ahead, I'll catch up." Blowing a raspberry, I stooped down to collected the scattered pieces of my phone and muttered to myself that it had best bloody not be broken.

  I rose to my feet and was immediately knocked sideways by some idiot in a suit who stepped right out in front of me. "Bloody hell, sweetheart, look where you're going!"

  I looked up to snarl and that idiot was my idiot, and he was once again wearing that cold, uncaring glare of finite fury. "Get in the car, Cecelia." I was starting to worry about his incessant mood swings.

  I waved an arm at the trio and shrugged. "Ok, just let me call th-..."

  "Just you, Cecelia. We're leaving. Now."

  "What?" I stepped back from him, realising that his glare was directed at me. I was causing it. "Why are you mad at me?"

  Nathaniel jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to the man approaching- Cole. "Because you're out with the man you've been fucking me over with for three weeks."

  "Fucking you over?" I spat, but not daring to get pulled into another conversation over who had really been my 'other man', "he gets his arm and ribs broken and you're the one who’s been fucked over? He sends me to you to be with you and, again, you're the one who's been fucked over?" I couldn't possibly see how he'd come out of the equation as the victim.

  Nathaniel glared at me and grabbed my wrist, shoving me into the door of the Chrysler. "I don't care if he sent you to my office wearing nothing but a satin bow around your waist, sprawled across the bonnet of a brand new Bentley- I'm not getting another phone call from Bethany telling me that you've left me for him again."

  "Jesus, what happened to trust?" I waved my left hand in his face and grunted 'duh'. "I'm marrying you, money bags, and he's very happy for us- despite that news arriving on his birthday, shortly after having seven bells of shit beaten out of him."

  He glanced over his shoulder with a sneer and nodded in Cole's direction. "Happy birthday- stay the fuck away from my fiancée or I'll make sure my brother isn't interrupted next time."

  "Nathaniel!" I wrenched my wrist from his grasp and stepped back a few paces. Making death threats was something I wouldn't condone, particularly when I now knew that he wouldn't think twice about honouring them. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

  "Get in the car."

  "No."

  "Get in the car."

  "No!"

  "Get in the fucking car or I'll cancel publication of your novel and you'll never see me again."

  I gasped like he'd slapped me and stared down at my feet. I couldn't pick my own friends, I couldn't dictate my own schedule- I couldn't even wear what I wanted. I had given that man everything and he was still trying to control me, and more than that, he was threatening me. My mind flooded with the doubt that I would ever be subservient enough to satisfy and the concern over the further potential threats I could be confronted with. My visions of Patrick Bateman were revived.

  I looked sideways at my friends and sighed. "Bethany. Pigeons."

  She stared at me wide eyed and stammered. "Are you serious?"

  "Huge, giant, gargantuan pigeons. Please." She faltered for a moment and nodded, walking a few metres down the street with her phone.

  For years 'pigeons' had been a safeword of sorts, reserved for the most uncomfortable of social situations and oppressive relationships. She had used it far more than I had- texting it to me to prompt me to book her a taxi so she could make a hasty escape from a disastrous date or house party where the men came on too strong. In eight years, I had said it only once, and it was when I'd run away from Aiden.

  But this 'pigeon' was more than an escape from the situation- it was an escape from Nathaniel. He made me so happy, but also made me so miserable. He still hadn't learnt that I wasn't his possession and that he couldn't dictate to me like he could to his staff. I couldn't commit to a life of being escorted home and basically grounded for bad behaviour- my own father hadn't even done it. With both Cole and Nathaniel so bad for me, I had only one realistic option.

  I pulled the wishbone ring from my finger and held it out to Nathaniel. He stared at it like I'd offered him poison and scowled. "What are you doing?"

  "Taking back my soul, Nathaniel. You just don't learn that because you have me doesn't mean you own me. You can't blackmail me into compliance every time I do or say something you don't like, because this is a relationship, not a dictatorship. I'm entitled to make mistakes and, like it or not, sometimes you have to compromise. You can control your own universe, but you can't control mine."

  "You are my universe." He grabbed my hand and made a scrabble to jam the ring back onto my finger.

  "Nathaniel, stop it! I've had enough!" I pulled my hand away and edged towards a taxi that had pulled up behind the Chrysler. "I am not your universe, I'm just in it. You can't dictate my life to me- you can't dictate who my friends are. That man," I pointed at Cole, "might have been murdered on your order and he still sent me to you because he thought I would be happy with you. He was wrong, he should have killed me on Wednesday."

  "Don't say that." Nathaniel's eyes were still hardened and his face still implacable. He didn't understand for a minute that his irrationality had lost me. Permanently and irrevocably.

  I shook my head and pulled open the taxi's door, Bethany hot on my heels. "I won't end up like my protagonist, Nathaniel. Don't follow me." I climbed into the front passenger seat of the taxi with my jaw clenched and watched him leap into the Chrysler in front of us. "There's a fifty pound tip if you shake him off" I told the cabbie, and he quickly jolted into action and exhibited some of the most reckless driving I'd ever witnessed.

  I held myself together until we arrived home, an hour later and my purse significantly lighter. Nathaniel had chased us for over half an hour before Lobke stealthy sent a text message to Bethany and asked if she should just let us slip away. The moment she got the reply, the distance between us increased and we slowly got lost in the heavy London traffic. My chest clenched when they slipped completely out of view and I battled through the pain of my heart breaking for the entire distance home.

  "What are you doing?" I sniffed and wiped my tears away as I packed my laptop into a duffel bag and zipped it up with a sigh. I had cried so much since I stepped over the threshold that I thought my essence might have seeped out in a puddle and evaporated into the ether.

  "Packing," I answered numbly, "I need to get away from London until those posters disappear and my fift
een minutes of fame end."

  "But you haven't packed any clothes."

  "I'll buy them wherever I end up."

  She exhaled sharply and wandered out for a moment, returning with a bag of her own."I was hoping you'd say that. Our passports are in the kitchen drawer."

  I shook my head sadly and pulled the bag over my head onto my shoulder. "You can't come. You start your new job on Monday."

  "There'll be other jobs. Besides, I need a holiday."

  And just like that, we jumped into another taxi and fled, with the intention of getting on the first plane to anywhere. Anywhere had to be better than London, where the streets were pathed with wet squibs and broken dreams. My soul nestled back inside me, somewhere between my heart and my brain, and as much as it hurt to feel those fireworks cease, it was a small price to pay for the security of knowing that I was better off alone.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Life was almost back to normal after what Bethany and I referred to as 'N.G'- also known as Nathanielgate. We didn't speak his name- it was anathema- and the tropical paradise we ended up in made it all the more easy to deny that he existed.

  Bethany took her entire annual leave allowance and spent it with me in the sun, drinking cocktails and toasting our skin so we were a heavenly shade of brown. One of her secret email conversations with him- she never realised that I knew she was having them- somehow resulted in her new position of commissioning editor being held open for her, and an assistant would be hired on her behalf to hold the fort. The news sparked the harrowing realisation that we would eventually have to go back to the old smoke, but five weeks in the sun made it very easy to push the thought aside. Besides, when we arrived home, it would be Halloween, which was a wonderful distraction in itself.