Star Crazy Me

by Jean Ure

  Next day was Saturday and Mum had to work, so I decided I would go and get my guitar back. I would be polite, but firm.

  “I am sorry to bother you, but I have just come to pick up my guitar.”

  No scales, no exercises. No talking. Just the guitar. If she happened to invite me in – well! I might accept, I might not. It would depend how she asked me. If she was in one of her barking moods, I’d say thank you, but I had somewhere to go. If, on the other hand, she looked like she was prepared to be pleasant and not start nagging at me, then maybe I would go in for just half an hour. Just to be polite. It was up to her.

  There wasn’t any reply when I rang at her doorbell. I rang and rang, in case she’d fallen asleep like Nan used to, but nobody came. I felt a bit cross. I’d made all this effort, and now she wasn’t there! She ought to be there. It was still only ten o’clock and she’d been out late last night. Maybe she was still in bed and too deaf to hear the bell?

  I was about to hammer at the door with my fist when an old lady appeared, tottering down the hall. “If you’re looking for Mrs P,” she said, “she’s in the hospital.”

  I said, “Oh no!” It’s terrible, but my first thought – well, maybe my second –was for my guitar. How was I going to get it back???

  “Taken there last night,” said the old lady. “Mugged, she was. Some young thug in a hood, waiting for her as she came in. Smashed the light, didn’t they? I always told her, you’re asking for trouble, coming home that time of night. It’s just not safe. Not these days.”

  Disturbing thoughts started to whiz round my head. “Is she going to be all right?” I whispered.

  “Who knows? She’s no spring chicken… eighty-five last birthday. You don’t bounce back so fast at that age. I’ll be going to visit her later on. Can I give her a message?”

  I couldn’t think of anything suitable. My mind was heaving and churning.

  “Shall I tell her you called? What name shall I say?”

  “C-Carmen. Did they rob her?”

  “Took her lovely rings that she wears, and her jewellery. And her bag, of course. Fortunately Mr Dyer from upstairs heard the rumpus and came down to investigate, or they’d have been inside, helping themselves.”

  “I s’pose they didn’t catch anyone?”

  “Not a chance! Soon as Mr Dyer appeared, the young so-and-so made off. Ought to be strung up, if you ask me, attacking an old lady like that. Anyway, I’ll tell her you were here.”

  I wandered back in a daze across the square. What was I supposed to do now? My guitar was locked up in Mrs P’s flat and Mrs P was in hospital and might not come out, and I was beginning to be horribly scared that I might have been responsible for putting her there. Me and my stupid boasting! Stacey Kingsley wasn’t one of Marigold’s particular friends but she did go round with Craig Archer, and Craig Archer just happened to be Lance Stapleton’s best buddy, and everyone knew Lance Stapleton was a thug. He was exactly the type that would hang around in doorways waiting for old ladies to mug. If Stacey had told Craig about me and Mrs P going to the opera and not getting back till eleven o’clock, Craig could easily have given Lance a tip-off. It wasn’t like Craig himself was any angel; he’d had run-ins with the cops before now, though only for minor things. I didn’t think he’d actually resort to bodily harm. But Lance would! He was known for it. He wouldn’t think anything of attacking an old lady.

  I began to feel a bit desperate. Mrs P had been good to me, and I’d been nothing but rude and ungracious. It was true she’d nagged me and bullied me and told me I didn’t have any backbone, but even while I was getting mad at her I think I’d known, really, that she wasn’t doing it to upset me. She was doing it because she believed in me. She really believed that I had a voice! And all I’d done in return was sulk. And now I’d probably gone and got her mugged, and if she died it would be my fault.

  I blundered on, back to the bus stop. I kept picturing Mrs P, dressed in her finery, all happy after seeing her beloved opera, never suspecting that some horrible thug was waiting for her in the shadows. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being beaten up! She was such a frail old lady.

  While I was waiting at the bus stop, wondering what to do, I got a text message. From Josh! All it said was, Hi U. I immediately texted back, asking where he was. He said he was home. Where U? I said that I was in Sheepscombe. Josh said, Doing what? I said, Nothing.

  Next thing I know, he’s actually calling me. We’re actually speaking!

  Josh said, “Wanna come over?”

  I told him, Yes. Yes, yes, yes! I said that I would come straight away.

  Josh said, “Good, cos I’ve got something to tell you.”

  I said, “What?” But he said not over the phone.

  I felt a bit apprehensive. I said, “Is it something nice?”

  “Dunno ’bout nice.”

  “It’s not anything nasty?”

  “No, it’s not anything nasty! Just get over here.”

  I couldn’t wait to see Josh again. I did so want things to be back the way they’d always been! I’d felt so isolated, without either him or Indy. You really do need your friends, I think; it’s miserable, being on your own.

  I did have one moment of panic as I got to Josh’s place, thinking maybe we wouldn’t have anything to say to each other, but I needn’t have worried. Josh was so eager to give me his news that we didn’t have time for awkward pauses.

  “Just thought you’d like to know,” he said, “that I finally did it.”

  Bemused, I said, “Did what?”

  “What you told me to do. What you said I was too cowardly to do!”

  “You mean… you told them? Your mum and dad?”

  He nodded, grinning. Obviously pleased with himself.

  “What did they say?”

  “Oh… you know! All the usual mum and dad type stuff.”

  I said, “Like what?” but he seemed reluctant to go into details so I thought probably it embarrassed him. I guessed it would have been slurpy stuff along the lines of You’re still our son and We’ll always love you. Stuff like out of a movie. Exactly what I’d predicted!

  “So they didn’t chuck you out?” I said.

  He grinned again, and shook his head. “They were pretty relaxed about it.”

  “Surprise, surprise!”

  “Go on, you can say it.”

  “Say what?”

  “I told you so.”

  “Well, I did! It was obvious. You didn’t seriously think they’d disown you?”

  “No, but I knew they’d be a bit upset.”

  “Are they?”

  Josh said they had to be. He said normal parents always wanted their kids to get married and have kids of their own. “They all want to be grannies and grandpas.”

  I said, “Really? I don’t reckon my mum’d fancy that idea.”

  “How is your mum?” said Josh. “What did she say about you not going in to school?”

  I told him that Mum didn’t know. Then quickly, before he could get started, I said, “So how was Malta?”

  Josh said, “Hot. How was Sheepscombe?”

  “Sheeps— oh! Yes.” I smiled brightly. “Hub of the universe! Same as always.”

  “So what were you doing there?”

  “Oh, just—” I waved a hand. “I went to visit someone. This old lady.” And that was when I told him about Mrs P. How I had been busking, and she had invited me back for peppermint tea. How once upon a time she’d been an opera singer – “She was famous!” How she’d been giving me singing lessons for free. How she’d invited me to go to the opera with her, and how I’d been so rude and unpleasant.

  Josh said, “Why? Why were you rude and unpleasant?”

  “I don’t know!” I wasn’t about to admit that it was because she kept nagging at me, and telling me I had no backbone. “I just was! But it’s awful cos she went on her own and when she got back it was late and someone was waiting for her and they mugged her and stole all her lovely jewel
lery, and now she’s in hospital and… I think it might be my fault!”

  “What, just because you didn’t go with her?”

  “No! It’s worse than that.”

  I told him how I’d bumped into Stacey, and how I’d boasted about all the wonderful things Mrs P had in her flat. “And then I said we were going up to town on Friday evening and wouldn’t be back till really late, and you know Stacey goes round with Craig Archer, and Craig goes round with Lance Stapleton, and—”

  “You think Lance did it?”

  “He could have. It’s exactly the sort of thing he does!”

  Josh sat there, frowning. I silently begged him to tell me I was talking nonsense, but he didn’t. He nodded, slowly, and said, “I guess it’s possible.”

  “So what should I do?” The question came wailing out of me. “D’you think I should go to the police?”

  “I dunno.” Josh screwed up his face, considering the matter. “Maybe you should go and talk to the old lady first?”

  I looked at him, doubtfully. “She’s in hospital. I don’t know whether she’d want to see me.”

  “You could give it a go.”

  “But I don’t know which hospital she’s in!”

  “You could ask?” said Josh. “Or is that too simple?”

  I sighed. “No, I s’pose not.”

  “It seems pretty simple to me.”

  “All right! I’ll ask. Don’t keep on! What have you done to your eye?” I’d noticed earlier that it was all brown and yellow, like it had been bruised. “Did you bump into something?”

  “Yeah, somebody’s fist.”

  “You’re joking!”

  “I’m not joking.”

  “You had a fight?” Josh isn’t the sort of person to get into fights. “Who with?”

  “Lance, if you must know.”

  Him again. I said, “That thug! He should be locked up. What happened?”

  “Nothing much. I just objected to something he said.”

  “Why? What did he say?”

  There was a silence.

  “Josh!” I screamed it at him. “What did he say?”

  “Something stupid.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not going to tell you, so there’s no point yelling. Just forget about it, OK? It’s all over and done with.”

  Sometimes you have to accept when you are beaten. When Josh clams up, there’s no getting anything from him. He can be really obstinate.

  I said, “OK! But I bet I’ll find out.”

  “Dunno how,” said Josh. “That’d mean coming back to school… You gonna come back to school?”

  Crossly I said, “Might’ve known you’d start on that.”

  “I’m entitled,” said Josh.

  “Just cos you came out to your mum and dad!”

  “That’s right. Can’t accuse me of being a coward! Not now. You’re the only cowardly one!”

  We stood there: me bristling, Josh triumphant. Josh said, “Well?”

  I wasn’t going to quarrel with him again. I’d hated the last ten days, without Josh and Indy.

  “Tell me what Lance Stapleton said, then maybe…”

  “What?”

  “Maybe I’ll think about things.”

  “Not good enough!”

  “Why won’t you tell me?”

  “Why won’t you go in for the contest?”

  We were going round in circles. It was quite a relief when the door opened and Josh’s mum came in.

  “Sorry to break things up,” she said, “but Josh, it really is time we left. I promised Nan we’d be there for lunch.”

  His other nan, that was. Imagine having two nans, who both loved you! Mrs Daniels told me to jump in the car and she’d give me a lift up the road. As I got out at the entrance to our block, Josh stuck his head out the window and hissed, “Saved by the bell!”

  There was nothing I could say in return, not in front of his mum. I had to content myself with a rude gesture and hope she didn’t notice. Josh yelled, “See you Monday!” Then he closed the window back up and the car sped off down the road.

  CHAPTER NINE

  After Josh and his mum had gone I stood there on the pavement, wondering what to do. I couldn’t go back indoors, I felt too unsettled. The inside of my head was churning. First I thought of Mrs P, then of Lance Stapleton. Then of my guitar – would I ever get it back? Then of school – what was I going to do? Then of Josh and his black eye. What could Lance have said to him? Called him names, was my bet. Something horrible. Something anti-gay. But why wouldn’t he tell me?

  He’d said if I wanted to find out I would have to go back to school. That meant that other people had been there when it happened; there were other people who knew. Indy, for instance. Indy would know! But was I brave enough to call her? I flipped open my mobile. Do it! Don’t think, just DO it.

  OK! I would. I hooked my hair back over my ears, like clearing the decks kind of thing. Getting prepared. Then I took a breath… and did it!

  It was Indy’s mum who answered. She said, “Hallo, stranger! Haven’t heard from you for a while.” At least her mum sounded friendly. Maybe Indy hadn’t told her.

  I swallowed and said, “Is Indy there?”

  Her mum said she was. “I’ll get her. InDEEEEE! It’s Carmen.”

  I’d gone all tense. What would I do if she refused to speak to me? And then I heard her voice, a bit guarded, at the other end of the line. “Carm?”

  I said, “Indy?”

  There was a pause. I knew that it was up to me. I opened my mouth and the words came babbling out.

  “Indy I’m sorry I yelled at you I didn’t mean it, it was just I was so worried about Josh in case he thought I’d given him away cos it was like this huge big secret just between the two of us and—”

  “It’s OK,” said Indy. “I understand.”

  “I’ve kept meaning to ring you!”

  “Me, too.”

  “I wish you had!”

  “Wish you had.”

  Shamefaced, I mumbled, “I thought you mightn’t want to hear from me any more.”

  “I thought you mightn’t want to hear from me.”

  “I was just in a panic. I didn’t mean it! Honest!”

  There was another pause, then Indy said, “So how you doing?”

  “OK. How you?”

  “OK.”

  “You been away?”

  “Went to visit my auntie. What you been up to?”

  “Nothing much. Just – you know! Messing around. Listen, can I come over?”

  “What, like now?” said Indy.

  “I need to talk to you!”

  She hesitated. “See, it’s difficult,” she said. She sounded a bit embarrassed. “I’m meeting Arvid.”

  “Arvid? You’re actually going out with him?” Arvid was this boy from Year 9. I knew she fancied him, but the last I’d heard she was still at the stage of plucking up her courage to actually say something. “Did he ask you?”

  “No,” said Indy. “I asked him!”

  “You didn’t?” I couldn’t believe it! Timid Indy, asking a boy to go out with her? “Tell me you’re joking!”

  “I’m not. He kept smiling at me like he really wanted to say something, so in the end we got talking, and—”

  “How?” I said. “How did you get talking?”

  “Well, you know… I said hi, and he said hi, and then we sort of… went on from there.”

  “And you actually asked him out?”

  “I s’pose it was more like we asked each other out. If you know what I mean.”

  I wasn’t sure that I did. I wondered how I felt about it. I stayed off school for just a few days and my best mate went and got herself a boyfriend… I’d pictured her with Connie, but I’d never even considered Arvid. I said, “So where are you meeting him?”

  “Outside Gap.”

  “What time?”

  “Two o’clock… I could always get there a bit earlier, if you like.”


  I grabbed eagerly at the suggestion. We arranged to meet up in twenty minutes, so I immediately went whizzing off to the bus stop to catch a bus into town.

  Indy was there waiting for me on a bench.

  “So what’s happening?” she said. “Are you coming back to school?”

  I said, “No! Yes – maybe. I don’t know. I’ve just been to see Josh. It’s awful. Everyone I know is getting beaten up!”

  “Why? Who else has?” said Indy.

  “This old woman that I’ve been seeing. She’s just been mugged and it might be my fault!”

  So then it all burst out of me, all over again, and I told Indy, just like I had told Josh, all about Mrs P and how she’d invited me to the opera and I’d said no thank you, in a rather rude sort of way.

  “I’d have said the same,” said Indy. “I mean, who’d want to sit through an opera?”

  I said, “Nobody that had any sense, but I didn’t have to be nasty about it.” I didn’t add that the only reason I’d been so unpleasant was that Mrs P had kept nagging me about the talent contest. I didn’t want Indy starting up. “At least with Josh I don’t have to feel guilty,” I said. “At least that wasn’t my fault.”

  “No. I s’pose not.”

  I looked at Indy rather sharply. Did I detect a note of doubt in her voice?

  “I mean, it was Lance Stapleton, right?”

  “Mm.” She nodded.

  “What did he say? Was he being anti-gay?”

  “Ye-e-es… but that wasn’t how it started.”

  “So how did it start?”

  That was when she told me. It was Marigold again. Loud mouthing. Saying how my name was still on the list of entrants for the contest, but that I obviously wouldn’t have the guts to actually go through with it.

  “I mean—” Indy waved a hand. “What with her precious sister, and all.”

  What with me being so fat, and all. That was what she meant, only being Indy she was too kind to say it.

  “What exactly happened?” I said.

  “Well, Josh started laying into her. Told her she was totally mindless. Said she was a body fascist.”

  “Josh said that?”

  “Yes, and lots of people agreed with him. So then Lance told Josh that Marigold was his girl and Josh had just better watch what he was saying, and then he called him a poof, and—”