Need You Now

by Debbi Rawlins

  The silent ten-minute ride went quickly and comfortably, considering the storm brewing in Melanie’s head. The sun was sinking, the air wasn’t too warm, and in fact, the crisp breeze hitting her cheeks felt refreshing. It would’ve been perfect if only her mind hadn’t kept circling back to the same question. What on earth was she doing? They couldn’t have that much to discuss. It would’ve made more sense to have eaten in the office while they talked and then gone their separate ways. She still had a lot of work to do. He probably had a long drive to wherever he was going next.

  And yet she wasn’t sorry. She didn’t feel bad for not doing the sensible thing. She was enjoying Lucas. That wasn’t a crime or a sin. Though to ignore the broad stretch of his T-shirt across his shoulders might be.

  “Is that it?” He pointed to the grassy knoll protected by a thicket of aspens.

  “How did you know?”

  “That’s where I’d go.” He twisted around in his saddle and looked back toward Blackfoot Falls and the distant Rockies. “Great view.”

  “You can even see part of Safe Haven.”

  He swung off Sergei, the gelding he’d chosen, and tethered the black to a sapling.

  Before she could dismount, Lucas caught her by the waist and helped her down. She shoved the hair out of her eyes, about to tell him he didn’t need to do that, but he had strong hands and all she could manage was “Thanks.”

  He smiled and turned his attention to the mare. “Is she your favorite?” he asked and stroked the horse’s neck.

  “Candy Cane is everyone’s favorite. Someone abandoned her two years ago. Can you imagine? She’s so sweet and gentle I never worry when the kids want to ride her.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t found her a home.”

  Melanie grinned at the mare, who nudged Lucas with her muzzle when he stopped stroking her to gather the reins. “You shameless hussy,” Melanie said, taking over pampering duty as they walked to the sapling. “Safe Haven is her home now. We’ve never tried to place her.”

  His thoughtful frown warned her that he’d switched to business mode. “Last year I heard you had to move close to a hundred horses because you were overcrowded.”

  Nodding, she watched him tether Candy next to Sergei. “Annie was still here then. It was bad. No funds, very little feed to get through winter. Luckily, two other sanctuaries took them in.”

  “Some were mustangs that eventually ended up in the prison system.” He collected the blanket, and she grabbed their dinner. “That’s how we learned about Safe Haven. Your operation is small and out of the way, so you hadn’t been on our radar.”

  “Small? Are you kidding? Sometimes it feels as though we’re drowning.” She stopped in the shade, though the sun was low and weak. “I’m not complaining—”

  “I know. You don’t have someone here full-time, and you and Shea have other jobs. Volunteers mean well but you can’t count on them. This is a remote area, so new volunteers aren’t coming out of the woodwork. And with this economy, donations are down. I get it.” He shook out the blanket. “Yet look at what you two are accomplishing in spite of everything.”

  “No, not me. I have limited involvement. It’s people like Kathy and Levi—” She watched him crouch to smooth out the wool blanket, smiling. “What?”

  “You’re being modest.”

  “I am not.”

  He took the bag of food from her and set it down. “I like the way you think outside the box. What you’re doing with your students is commendable.” He studied her for a moment. “Did you grow up here?”

  “Yes.”

  “On a ranch?”

  “No, not really. We always had a few animals. Mostly chickens, two mares, a milking cow...”

  “You’re teaching those kids valuable life skills. And they’re learning to have a healthy respect for animals. You’d think that wouldn’t need to be taught. That any decent human being would understand their responsibility to—” He stopped, cleared his throat and looked away.

  His voice had sounded strained; his jaw was still clenched. The blue eyes she’d found so appealing had turned cold, sending a shiver straight down her spine. He kept his gaze averted and stared at the Rockies—to hide the sudden darkness that had come over him, she suspected. She was guessing he’d had a bad experience with someone mistreating an animal. That was enough to push her buttons.

  She moved closer. He was a stranger, a man she’d met only a few hours ago. What was wrong with her that she didn’t feel some modicum of fear? Did she have no survival instincts at all? His tension all but blasted her like heat from a furnace. His mouth was tight-lipped and grim, cautioning her to give him space. And yet the warning had an opposite effect.

  The curse she’d hidden since hitting puberty was to blame. That was the only explanation. Why else would quiet Melanie, Pastor Ray’s obedient daughter, feel this stirring inside her, feel a deep longing to touch Lucas? Good girls stayed away from bad boys. They didn’t go looking for trouble.

  She hesitated, giving herself a final chance to sync with reason, but it was no use. She touched his arm.

  He slowly turned and glanced at her hand. “Sorry, did you say something?”

  For the life of her, she couldn’t come up with an excuse for touching him. Or for standing this close. She moved her hand to her side and focused on the Big Belt Mountains. “Would you like me to point out landmarks? There’s Mount Edith over there. And on the right—”

  Lightly brushing the back of her hand, he said, “How about we eat?”

  She curled her fingers into her cold palm. And then realized he hadn’t initiated contact at all. Her trembling hand had grazed his. Keeping her gaze averted, she inched away. “Sure, let’s— I’ll set out the food.”

  He caught her wrist, just to get her attention, then released her. “I got carried away there,” he said. “I’m sorry I frightened you.”

  “You didn’t.” She shook her head. “I was concerned.” She rubbed her arms and saw the skepticism in his faint smile. “Okay, and maybe a teensy bit nervous.”

  His mouth lifted in earnest, and just like that, there was the man who’d changed the bus tire. “Are you always this forthright?”

  “I try to be.”

  “No matter what the consequences?”

  “I’d like to think so,” she said, mesmerized by his bold stare. The demons were gone, if that was what had drawn him briefly into darkness. Now he just looked curious. “You sound so serious. Please tell me you aren’t setting me up to play Truth or Dare.”

  He laughed at that. “I’ve never played and don’t want to know how.”

  She relaxed and smiled, surprised that for a second she’d been afraid he’d admit something she didn’t want to know. Something that might change her opinion of him. Which was crazy. She barely knew him. “It’s just a dumb college pastime also known as study avoidance.”

  She needed to move, not just stand there staring at him. To stay put would invite him to...

  His gaze dropped to her mouth, and her pulse leaped.

  * * *

  SHE STOOD THERE, watching him with a mix of want and fear. This was...unexpected. Different from the way the Chelseas of the world eyed him like a stud up for auction.

  Lucas had first started seeing that look as a teenager and had been quick to take advantage of it. But he wasn’t that reckless, carefree kid anymore, and a woman like Melanie? He stayed clear of women like her.

  He could tell she was a nice small-town girl. Curious about him but uncertain what she wanted. He might’ve been out of circulation for a while and still a little rusty, but some things a man didn’t forget. Like the look of a woman who wanted to be kissed or silky skin and a soft mouth. He’d bet Melanie tasted real sweet. She’d likely be a little timid at first, but not for long.

 
Those thoughts had to stop. If he had a shred of decency left in him, he’d leave her alone. Leave her exactly how he’d found her when he eventually drove away from Blackfoot Falls. She wasn’t anything like the women he’d slept with in Denver, the rich ones affiliated with the reform program. Hell, he’d been nothing more than a novelty to them. It hadn’t taken long to figure that out. Not that that was a deal breaker. Uncomplicated sex was all he wanted or expected from a woman. He couldn’t say why, but he had a feeling that sex with Melanie would be anything but simple.

  She finally turned away, knelt on the blanket and started setting out their picnic. He didn’t miss the slump of her shoulders or the blush staining her cheeks.

  He crouched beside her. “Need help?”

  “I think I can handle this. Here.” She offered him water.

  A beer would’ve been more to his liking but he took the bottle. “Is there a bar in town?”

  “I doubt there’s a ranching community in this country that doesn’t have at least one.”

  “I don’t know.... There might be a few dry counties left.”

  “Huh. The Watering Hole is the go-to place for the local ranch hands. Some prefer to head over to Kalispell, but I can’t imagine them not having someplace close to blow off steam.”

  “Is the Watering Hole where you go?”

  “Me?” She laughed. “No.”

  “You telling me teachers don’t need to unwind or vent?”

  “Oh, we have student voodoo dolls for that.”

  Lucas smiled. “What else?” He watched her try to shake free a stray curl that clung to her cheek. Since her hands were full, he tucked the lock behind her ear. “What do you do, Melanie?” he asked, reluctant to lower his hand. Her skin and hair were as soft as he’d imagined. “To relieve the pressure?”

  “I guess I’m lucky,” she said, a trace of huskiness in her voice. “I’m always too exhausted to think about it.”

  He took the mayonnaise from her. “Not good. Stress seems to have a habit of turning the tables one way or another.” He opened the jar and set it aside.

  “What do you do?” She busied herself with pulling napkins and silverware out of the bag. “You have to travel and meet new people, lobby for their help. It might be rewarding but I can’t imagine it’s fun.”

  “No, most times it isn’t. As a rule people don’t care about prisoners. They figure inmates are getting what they deserve.”

  “I can understand the bias. Do folks ever worry about the safety of the horses?”

  “I’ve been asked that more than a few times.” He noticed the small frown forming between her brows. “Is that your concern?”

  “No, not at all. I mean, of course I know everyone in prison claims they’re innocent,” she said with a small dismissive shrug. “But no, I’m not worried.”

  He smiled despite the twist in his gut. “Some prisoners actually are innocent.”

  Too bad he hadn’t been one of them.

  4

  AFTER THEY’D EATEN and the leftovers had been stowed, Melanie glanced at her watch. Lucas had explained more about the Wild Horse Training Program, and so far she saw no reason why Safe Haven couldn’t participate. All PRN wanted to do was use the sanctuary as a stopgap between the gathers and moving the horses to the various prisons. It wouldn’t cost Safe Haven anything. Food, transportation, even manpower would be completely covered. Not only that, but PRN might be interested in taking some of the strays Melanie had been unable to adopt out. Naturally, she had to lay out everything for Shea so they could make the decision together, but Prison Reform Now seemed to be very well funded.

  What did concern her was the time. Another hour and it would start getting dark, though Lucas didn’t seem to be worried.

  She watched him straighten the wool blanket, then sit down again so that he faced the orange glow of the sun sinking behind the Rockies. What she’d expected him to do was roll up the blanket and stuff it into the saddlebag along with their sack of trash.

  Her gaze fell on his rounded biceps, then followed the cords of muscle to his wrist. He didn’t wear a watch. And though she knew he carried a cell phone, he hadn’t brought it out once. If he wasn’t anxious to get on the road, then why should she care?

  No denying she was enjoying herself. The fresh air was nice and the quiet soothing. Working at Safe Haven was rewarding but seldom relaxing. Between grading papers and doing the shopping and cooking for two elderly church members, Melanie rarely had a moment for herself.

  Of course, rounding out her enjoyment was Lucas, and that distant enigmatic expression of his. She’d seen it twice now, and goodness, it wasn’t easy keeping the naughty fantasies at bay. She refused to guess at his dark thoughts or imagine him as a teenager. He would’ve been one of those brooding guys the girls whispered about to their friends and dreamed about at night. The type of guy who’d always been and would always be out of reach for a quiet, sensible woman like her.

  She realized she’d sighed out loud when he looked up and caught her staring at him. Quickly she cleared her throat. “We should go. We don’t have much daylight left,” she said, feeling even more awkward standing next to Candy Cane and peering down at him as if he were one of her pupils.

  A lazy smile curved his mouth. He arched back, stretching out his arms, then pushed to his feet with the agility of a teenager. “You’re right. I’ve monopolized enough of your time.”

  “No, it’s not that—I assumed you’d want to get on the road before nightfall.”

  “I’m not leaving yet,” he said and scooped up the blanket. “I figured I’d spend a few days here.”

  “Oh.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “No.” She nodded. “Maybe.”

  “Which is it?” The corners of his mouth twitched, which she saw quite clearly since he’d sidled up next to her. “Give me a hint.”

  “Okay, smarty.” Inwardly cringing at using the silly word, she resisted the urge to move over. “Did you drive through town?”

  “Yes,” he said, “and judging by your smug expression, I assume I missed something.”

  It wasn’t easy being this close and feeling the heat from his body. Part of her wanted to lean into him; the other part was already yanking her shirt backward. “Did you see any motels?”

  He kept looking at her, his right brow lifting. “A place called the Boarding House.”

  “It’s not a motel. It really was a boardinghouse about ninety years ago.”

  Lucas frowned. “There were cars parked out front.”

  “Someone just bought the place and is making it an inn.” She tried to look innocent. “I doubt it’ll be finished by tonight.”

  He let out a laugh. “I underestimated you.”

  “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t be teasing.”

  “So there’s really no lodging in Blackfoot Falls?”

  “None.”

  “The closest place to get a room would be—where? Kalispell?”

  “That’s right,” she said, not feeling the least triumphant. She wanted him to stay longer. “There is one other possibility,” she said slowly, trying to think it through.

  She could call Rachel at the Sundance. The dude ranch was usually booked months in advance but there was a chance they could somehow make room for Lucas. She’d ask as a personal favor if she had to. Or was she being foolish?

  “Melanie?”

  She met his expectant gaze.

  He waited and after a few moments said, “If you’re offering me your guest room—”

  Her gasp interrupted him. “Me? No, I don’t have— I mean, I do have a spare room, but I live in town. I have neighbors.” She felt the heat sting her cheeks and there was nothing she could do about it. “Very nosy neighbors, and it’s not that I care about what they say.
It’s just— Well, no, I do care but—”

  “Melanie.” He touched her arm to stop her rambling.

  After taking a deep breath, she managed a smile. It felt brittle and fake. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

  His hand moved to her face. Her burning-hot face. Just in case he needed proof of her embarrassment.

  Oh, Lord.

  “Don’t be sorry,” he murmured. “I was teasing you, and it was inappropriate. And even if you offered, I wouldn’t take you up on it.”

  Her humiliation sank to another low. “No, of course not. We just met. Why would you?”

  Lucas looked as if he was trying to control a smile. “Having just met you doesn’t bother me. Small town, you being a teacher. No matter how innocent the situation, I know it would be bad for you. I wouldn’t want that.”

  She searched his eyes, unsure what she was looking for, and he eventually lowered his hand. It wasn’t relief she felt but disappointment. Dammit, she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to kiss him. She knew it would mean nothing to him, if he even responded, and she didn’t care.

  He turned away to deal with the blanket, struggling to roll up the bulky wool, and she started to lose her nerve. And then it occurred to her that she’d never initiated a kiss. Not once. Ever. She’d been willing plenty of times when a date had taken the lead. But here she was, twenty-seven, two semi-long-term college relationships behind her, and she’d never kissed a boy first. Wow, that was kind of sad.

  “Lucas?”

  He looked over and automatically smiled.

  Swallowing back a lump of nerves, she moved closer. “Need help?”

  “Sure.” He’d brought two corners together. “Take this end.”

  Melanie obliged, gripping the blanket, spreading her arms wide and moving backward while he scooped up the lower corners. If he’d guessed at her cowardly gear switching, he didn’t let on. She hadn’t given up on the kiss yet. Just looking for a more organic way to swoop in.

  Oh, who was she kidding? It would be awkward for her no matter what. She was still willing to try, though. Nervous as she was, it was clear this was one of those times she’d regret being harmless as a pet rabbit, as her grandfather used to say.