Always in my Heart (The Subzero Series, #2)

by Rebecca Elise

  “Of course Abby. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.”

  I nod and thank her as I pour the cake batter into the paper lined cupcake tins and slide them into the oven.

  After I wash my hands, cursing Tyler in my head the entire time, I grab my purse and leave out the service entrance. I didn’t want to have to explain to anyone else why I was leaving. My first stop was to pop into a store two blocks from the bakery to see how many more of these magazines exist.

  Six.

  Six different tabloids with her and Tyler splashed all over the cover. I buy a copy of each one and each one makes me angrier and angrier as I flip through them while I am sitting in my car. Finally, I can’t look at them anymore so I start my car and drive to our apartment. By the time I get home, I am positively furious.

  I storm into the apartment to find Tyler lying on the couch watching television. I move so that I am standing directly in front of him with my arms crossed tightly over my chest.

  “Hey love.” Tyler says. His eyes roam up my body and he immediately sits up when he sees the look on my face. “You look miffed.”

  Without saying a word, I grab the tabloids out of my bag and slam them down on the coffee table in front of him.

  Tyler closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Bullocks.”

  “Is that all you have to say?”

  “Abby, love, it’s not what it looks like.”

  “Oh really?” I seethe, jabbing my finger towards the magazines. “Because it looks an awful lot like her lips are glued to yours.”

  “Okay, so it is kind of what it looks like.”

  “This isn’t funny Tyler.”

  Tyler rests his elbows on his knees, leans forward and rubs his hands over his face. He glances up at me with a panicked look on his face and licks his lips.

  “We had just finished up recording for the day and everyone decided to go to Barnaby’s for a couple of drinks. Cath and I started talking about New York and stuff. I walked outside with her when she went to wait for her cab. We were just standing there talking and the next thing I know she was kissing me.”

  “Did you kiss her back?”

  Tyler doesn’t say anything.

  “Did you like it?”

  He hesitates before shaking his head. “It was...different.”

  “Different how?”

  “I don’t know, just different.”

  “I hate you.”

  “You can’t mean that.”

  “Try me.”

  “Abby...”

  “Get out.”

  “No.”

  I point to the door. “I said get out.”

  “No, Abby, this is my flat too. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.”

  “Fine.” I turn on my heels and stomp into our bedroom.

  Swinging open the closet door, I grab my purple rolling suitcase and throw it down on top of the bed. Moving over to my dresser, I begin pulling open the drawers one at a time, grabbing handfuls of clothes and throwing them into my suitcase.

  “What are you doing?” Tyler asks as he leans against the door frame, staring at me with sad, brown eyes.

  “I can’t stay here with you.”

  “Why not?”

  I whip around with a handful of panties gripped tightly in my fists. “Are you kidding? Were you not just out there?”

  “Please say and talk to me.”

  I throw the panties in my suitcase and turn back to face him.

  “Fine, let’s talk. Did she kiss you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you stop her?”

  “No, not right away.”

  “Did you kiss her back?”

  “For a second I may have.”

  “Did you like it?”

  “I told you it was –“

  “Different. Yeah I got that and I’ve heard enough.”

  I grab the handle of my suitcase and push past Tyler. As I rush down the hallway I can hear a bunch of fumbling, followed by the jingling of his keys. I whip around to see him coming towards me and I point my finger at him.

  “Don’t you even think about following me.”

  He stops dead in his tracks and throws his hands up in the air.

  “Please don’t go Abby. I love you.”

  “I love you too Tyler...but maybe that just isn’t enough this time.”

  “So that’s it is it? You’re just going to go? You’re breaking it off with me?”

  “I don’t know. Right now I need to think and figure this out and I can’t do that while I’m here with you. All I see is you kissing her. All I feel is your betrayal.”

  Tyler’s face falls and I know I am hurting him by walking out but he hurt me by kissing her and keeping it a secret. If he would have come to me and told me, it would have been different but he didn’t. I had to read about it in a tabloid like I don’t matter. I feel like such a fool.

  I pull out my cellphone as I walk outside and dial Chloe’s number.

  “Hey Chlo, can I come stay with you and Jack for a while?”

  She quickly says yes, which makes me wonder if she has already gotten calls about Tyler’s big smooch or seen the tabloids. I shove my suitcase into my trunk, jump inside the driver’s seat and take off without looking back.

  ~*~

  “Did you know about this?” I ask Chloe as she lets me into the condo she shares with Jack.

  “Know about what?” She asks me cautiously.

  “About Tyler and that Cath girl kissing. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about. You’re his publicist and it’s in all the papers. I know you know Chloe.”

  “I just found out a little while ago.” She says quietly.

  Jack walks out from the kitchen and offers me a sad smile.

  “Did you know about this?”

  “I didn’t know until I overheard Chloe talking to him on the phone.” He says.

  I turn back to Chloe. “You talked to him? When?”

  “I called him while you were on your way here...He does genuinely sound remorseful and upset.”

  “That doesn’t change the fact that he kissed someone else and hid it from me.”

  Jack shook his head. “I told him that girl was going to get him in trouble. He said they were just friends, which I do think to him they were. Everyone else could see that she wanted him. He loves you. He says so all the time.”

  “Why don’t we go sit down in the living room? We’ll be more comfortable sitting in there.” Chloe says.

  I follow them into their living room and sit down on the couch, drawing my knees up to my chest.

  “So, did you guys break up?” Chloe asks.

  I shrug. “I told him I needed to think and I couldn’t do it around him and that’s kind of where we left things.”

  “Well you know you can stay here as long as you need to.”

  I nod and just as I am about to thank her, the tears start flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks. Chloe sits down next to me, wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to her.

  “It’ll be okay. You guys will be able to work this out I’m sure.” She says.

  I know she is trying to make me feel better but for some reason it just makes me cry harder.

  “Should I go get you something?”

  I glance up at the uncomfortable look on Jack’s face and stop crying for a moment.

  “What?”

  “It’s just I don’t know what to do in this situation. I only have a brother and he never cried over girls so...Do you want some ice cream or chocolate or a drink?”

  I give him a small, forced smile and wipe the tears off of my cheeks. “No, but thank you for the offer.”

  “Are you okay if I go talk to him or shall I stay out of it?”

  “No, he’s your friend. I don’t mind if you talk to him, maybe you could smack some sense into him for me.”

  “Will do.” Jack says.

  He walks over and gives me a hug before kissing C
hloe and walking out.

  “Jack’s a good guy.” I say.

  “So is Tyler.” Chloe responds.

  I lean over and put my head on her shoulder and she gently brushes her fingers through my hair. I feel like my emotions are pulling my heart every which way. I’m angry. I’m heart broken. I’m sad. I want to talk to him. I don’t want to talk to him.

  “Do you want to go lay down?” Chloe asks, bringing me back from my thoughts.

  “No, I don’t really want to be by myself. I just keep picturing him kissing her. I just need a distraction.”

  “Well...what do you want to do?”

  “Is hunting Cath down and punching her in her perfect white teeth out of the question?”

  Chloe laughs. “You know I can’t let you do that. I’m sure if you called Nick though, he’d hop on the next plane and punch Tyler in his perfect white teeth.”

  I shook my head. “I may want him to suffer right now but I want him to suffer the way I am suffering. I don’t want him to get beat up or anything...tossed around a little bit maybe.”

  “Do you want to go out and get a drink?”

  “Yeah, do you mind if I invite Caroline?”

  “Fine with me, I’ll call Jocalyn and Skylar and tell them to meet us. Where do you want to go.”

  “Anywhere but Barnaby’s.”

  “How about The Decantery?”

  “I could go for a bottle of wine or two.”

  “Alright, I’ll make some calls.”

  An hour later, we are seated around a table that looks like a wine barrel with Caroline, Jocalyn and Skylar.

  “This reminds me of that day we sat around with Chloe telling stories about our ex-boyfriends,” Jocalyn says as she bounces a little on her seat. “That was kind of fun.”

  “That was fun,” I say. “I’ll go first. So I’m dating this guy for a year and a half when he kisses some girl and then keeps it from me, assuming I’ll never find out about it. Then, when I find out after seeing it in a tabloid, he comes clean saying he didn’t want to hurt me and it didn’t mean anything and that he wants me to stay. What am I supposed to act like I’m okay with the fact that he kissed some girl that is not me just because it didn’t mean anything to him? What about what it meant to me?”

  I take a deep breath and let out a sigh. I glance around at the girls I am seated with and I hate the matching looks of uncomfortable sympathy on their faces.

  “Sorry.” I mutter.

  “No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Skylar says as the waiter walks over to the table. “We’re going to need to keep the Chablis flowing like water over here, okay?”

  He nods and hurries off to grab a bottle of Chablis and five glasses.

  “Alright, so the theme of the stories is stupid things my boyfriend has said or done.” Chloe says.

  “Dex’s family lives in a place called Philadelphia. They don’t get to come over here often and he doesn’t go home often so I didn’t have the chance to meet them until this past Christmas. They came here and he introduced me as his really good friend,” Jocalyn shakes her head. “Can you believe that? I mean, yes in the beginning we were off and on but we have been in a solid relationship for the last year and he calls me his really good friend?”

  “So what did you do?” I ask.

  “I told him if he wanted a really good friend he could buy himself a dog but if he wanted me to stay then he needed to acknowledge that he was indeed in a relationship.”

  “Wes would kill me if he knew I was telling this story but he is afraid of clowns. We went to this haunted house and a clown jumped out at him He starts screaming like a little girl and he went running. He ran all the way out to the parking lot, jumped in his car and drove away, leaving me with this clown. It had to have taken him at least five minutes to realize I wasn’t in the passenger’s seat and he drove back to get me.”

  “Was that when you guys first started dating?” Jocalyn asks.

  Skylar smiles and takes a sip of wine. “No, it was last October.”

  I erupt into giggles and clamp my hand over my mouth to try and smoother them. It doesn’t work. I start laughing so hard at the image of Wes running off like that and within minutes tears start rolling down my cheeks.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh.”

  “No, please do. You need to laugh, that’s what we’re here for,” Skylar looks back and forth between Chloe and Caroline. “Alright, which one of you is next?”

  Caroline holds her hands out in front of her. “I am as single as you can get.”

  “Alright Chloe,” Skylar says. “We need a Jack story so spill!”

  “Okay,” Chloe takes a deep breath. “So this isn’t really stupid but Jack would be mortified if he knew I was telling you guys this. Do you remember shortly after we got engaged, Jack and I took that trip to the Dominican Republic?”

  We all nod and lean forward a bit, curious to hear what Chloe is going to tell us.

  “Well about a month before we left he was really concerned with being so pale on the beach so he started going tanning.”

  “Did he turn orange like an oompa loompa? Cause somehow I could picture that.” Jocalyn says.

  Chloe shakes her head. “No, this may be even better. You know how they have those stickers you can put on while you’re tanning and eventually you get an outline of whatever the sticker was?”

  We all nod.

  “Well apparently the place Jack went to offered hearts or playboy bunny heads. Jack apparently decided bunny heads was the manlier option of the two. So he gets nicely tanned and on the first day of our vacation, he stripped down facing away from me and revealed a pasty white bunny head on his bum. I could not stop laughing. He never told me he did that so I wasn’t expecting it. If you really want to see him blush every shade of red imaginable, call him bum bunny or bunny buns.”

  We all burst out laughing as I try as hard as I possibly can to not picture my future brother in laws bare ass – bunny tan lines or not.

  “You know there was this time Tyler was going to the store. He made this list of things he needed to get and he asked me to write down anything I needed. It just so happened that particular week I needed tampons,” I smile and laugh at the memory I was sharing. “So I wrote regular tampons on the list and Tyler came back with a box that said super on them. I asked him why he bought me missile sized tampons and he said because he though super sounded better than regular.”

  We all started laughing.

  “Oh, I can see that!” Skylar exclaimed. “I mean I can actually picture him in the aisle, looking at the different boxes wondering why on earth you would want something regular when you could have something super!”

  “That’s actually kind of cute.” Caroline says.

  I nod as I look around the table at the girls I am sitting with. Two hours ago I felt like I wouldn’t smile at anything anytime soon. It’s amazing what being around a few good friends can do for your soul.

  “Thanks girls, I really needed to laugh.” I say.

  “Are you feeling any better?” Caroline asks.

  I press my lips together sadly and shake my head. “No but at least for a little while I wasn’t so consumed with how broken my heart is. I just never thought Tyler would do this. I mean, I knew she had a thing for him. She wasn’t exactly shy about it so I’m not surprised she tried something. What I didn’t expect was for him to tell me that he kissed her back after he got caught thinking he could keep it from me.”

  “Are you going to talk to him?” Chloe asks.

  “At some point I guess I have to but I’m not doing it until I’m ready. Right now I can’t talk to him.”

  My phone vibrates in my purse. I pull it out to see that it’s Tyler calling me...again. Just seeing his name on my phone makes my heart plummet. I sigh and look at Chloe.

  “I think I’m ready to go. I’m just...emotionally drained.” I say.

  She nods as she stands up. We say our goodbyes and head for home...well Ch
loe’s home anyway.

  My phone rings again as I am climbing in to bed. I have to put a stop to this. If he loves me, if he truly and honestly loves me he’ll leave me be and give me some time.

  Chapter Twelve – Tyler

  I’m a wanker. A complete sodding wanker.

  I’m pretty sure the reason Abby has left me is because I didn’t tell her about that kiss and not so much because the kiss actually happened. Although I am sure she is pretty cross that the kiss happened in the first place. I can’t believe I didn’t notice any one snapping pictures. Not that I am trying to justify myself and my actions. I should have told her to stop but I didn’t. I also shouldn’t have kissed her back.

  I plop down onto the couch, lean my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands. My cellphone starts blaring inside my pocket. I pull it out, glance down at the screen and sigh when I see Chloe’s name on the display.

  Great, just what I need right now.

  The question is, am I getting a call from Chloe my publicist or Chloe my girlfriend’s sister?

  “Hello Chloe.’

  “Hi Tyler,” She pauses. “You want to tell me what happened?”

  I tell her the whole story not leaving out a single thing. I tell her about the guys warning me about Cath’s intentions and Cath asking me to walk her out. I tell her about closing my eyes and Cath kissing me and me finally stopping her.

  “She hates me now.”

  “I don’t think she hates you.”

  “I need to win her back.”

  “Just give her some time.”

  “I can’t do that,”

  “Tyler...”

  “No,” I cut her off. “Whatever you are about to say, my answer is no. I love that woman and I am going to do whatever it takes to win her back. You just wait and see.”

  About an hour after Abby leaves a knock sounds at my door. I rush over to it and swing it open, my heart pounding with hope and high expectations, only to find Jack on the other side.

  “Damn...I was hoping it was Abby at the door. I didn’t expect to see your ugly mug.” I say.

  “Hey now, my mum says I’m beautiful on the inside and that’s all that counts,” Jack jokes. “Besides, why would Abby knock on the door?”