‘You doing ok?’
‘Yes. Don’t stop.’
He smiled, looking younger and more carefree than she’d ever seen him. He leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead, cradling her against him as he moved slowly against her.
She wrapped her arms and legs around him as he kissed her again. There was no going back now. She was lost to him.
Chapter Sixteen
Izzy lay sprawled out on the bed, with Ethan kissing her. The screams, shouts and groans had finally subsided about twenty minutes before but he was still lying between her legs kissing her. Like eating her favourite dessert, she could kiss him all day and never tire of it.
He pulled away slightly to look at her. ‘I don’t like kissing.’
She stroked his hair from his face. ‘You don’t?’
He shook his head and resumed kissing her softly for a moment. ‘It’s too intimate.’
‘I think what we just did is way beyond the boundaries of intimacy.’
‘Sex is nothing. It’s just a basic animal need. It doesn’t mean anything.’
She felt hurt at the trivialisation of what they had just gone through together, the way he had stared into her eyes and kissed her as he had made love to her.
‘But kissing is personal, affectionate. I don’t do it.’
‘Ever?’
‘Not since Charlie.’
He resumed his kissing of her and she smiled at the significance of this. He wanted to kiss her. He pulled away slightly to kiss her throat.
‘You never kiss the women you make love to?’
‘I don’t make love Izzy, I’ve told you that. And no, the odd brief kiss on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips, never during sex.’
‘How do you manage not to kiss the women you… that you sleep with?’
‘Doggy style.’
‘Always?’
‘Yes.’
‘But we didn’t…’
‘No, it’s different with you. Sex with these other women doesn’t mean anything, taking them from behind ensures that distance is maintained.’
‘It sounds like you hate it.’
‘I hate myself for it, I don’t hate the sex.’
‘Why do you hate yourself?’
‘The first time I slept with someone after Charlie died was two weeks after she was crushed to death. Two weeks. I was so angry after she died – angry at her, angry at myself, the lorry driver, the whole god damn world – and I just wanted to feel anything, something that wasn’t grief and anger and hate. Having sex with some faceless woman helped a little but after I felt like scum. How could I dishonour Charlie’s memory like that? But I couldn’t stop. For that brief moment whilst I was shagging, the pain would go away, I could forget everything and just focus on sex. But always after, the guilt and grief and agonizing pain would come back. I keep thinking what Charlie must be thinking, if she could see me now. I don’t think she would mind the sex so much, as that was always a big part of our relationship, but I think what would hurt her the most is that I’m having sex with women who mean absolutely nothing to me.’
‘It won’t always be that way though. One day you’ll find a woman that you want more than just sex with.’
He stared at her and then rolled off her and knelt up. He handed over her t-shirt.
Her heart crashed in disappointment. Obviously that woman was not her. So that was it. In a second he would call her a taxi and tell her he’d call her sometime. Though she hadn’t expected anything less, she was disappointed in herself for hoping for more.
She pulled the t-shirt on. ‘I’ll see myself out, don’t get up.’
He grabbed her arm. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Home, evidently.’ She gestured to her t-shirt.
‘I’m not kicking you out. I thought we’d go downstairs and I’d make you something to eat. Then I thought we’d come back up here and…’ He trailed a finger lightly from her knee to her hip, making her shudder.
She frowned, feeling a sudden need to protect herself from him. If he wasn’t kicking her out now, he would be in a few hours and that hurt. They’d agreed just sex, but now she wanted so much more from him. How were they going to work with each other now they’d slept together? Would he stop being arsey to her? Would she let him pick her up and use her whenever he wanted? Yes. She knew she would. Regardless that it would hurt when he discarded her shortly, she couldn’t say no to doing what she had just done again. That annoyed her, she thought she had higher standards than that.
He leaned forward and kissed her, interrupting her mind’s ramblings – for which she was actually thankful for. So they’d had sex, what did she expect, marriage? It was sex, bloody amazing sex, why tie a label to it.
He pulled away. ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. I know I enjoyed it. I know I want to do it again. And again and again and again.’
Izzy smiled.
‘And again and again.’
She laughed and knelt up and straddled him.
‘Whoa, I didn’t mean now.’ He was smiling at her as he ran his hands down her back. ‘I need to rest for at least another five minutes.’
She reached up to grab a condom from the chest of drawers and then kissed him. ‘You have two.’
*
‘Izzy.’
Izzy stirred slightly, but then tried to drift back into her dreams. She was aware of movement next to her, aware that Ethan was stroking her, maybe even kissing her. But she was too tired to respond. From the light that was filtering through her closed eyes, she guessed it was early morning. Another few hours and she would have to get up for work. Not only did she want to sleep forever after the exertions of the night before, but to wake up would be to draw a line under what had happened, and then to face the awkwardness of working alongside each other too.
‘Izzy.’
She opened one eye and looked at him.
‘You’re awake.’
‘Not really.’ She closed her eyes and felt him kiss her throat.
‘I want to take advantage of you again.’
‘Go ahead, you don’t mind if I carry on sleeping do you?’
She half opened her eye again and saw he was smiling as he peppered kisses down her chest.
She closed her eyes again but sleep was now a long way away as he trailed his hot mouth down across her stomach. He kissed at the top of her groin and shifted her legs further apart.
Her eyes snapped open as he suddenly thrust deep inside her.
‘Ethan!’
He leaned over her. ‘Shush, go back to sleep.’
She giggled, though the laugh died in her throat as he moved against her again.
‘I’m sorry to wake you.’
She ran her hands down his back. ‘No, you’re not.’
He laughed. ‘No I’m not, not one bit.’
‘Bully.’
*
‘I need to go home and get changed.’ Izzy said, as she watched Ethan dress. His body was glorious, so broad, so hard. He fastened his jeans, tightening his belt over the thin smattering of hair that led down to one of her favourite parts of his body.
‘Ok.’
‘And you’re not going to yell at me when I’m a bit late.’
He smiled as he pulled a crisp white shirt on. ‘I might.’
‘It was your fault. I would be on time if we hadn’t spent so long in the shower.’
‘Mmmm. I’d take you being late every day if I could start all my mornings like that.’
She smiled to herself as she put her shoes on.
‘Now listen.’ He pulled her to her feet. ‘Kyle lives next door. I’d appreciate it if you’d go out the back door. I don’t want him to know. I don’t want any of them to know.’
Her heart fell.
He kissed her on the forehead. ‘It’s none of their business.’
She nodded and he leaned down and kissed her properly on the mouth. ‘Here’s some money for a taxi. I’ll see you soon.’
He p
laced some cash on the bedside table and strode out the room and a few seconds later she heard the front door close.
She hadn’t expected to spend the night with him, to make love to him four times, she hadn’t expected the tenderness and his sense of humour. But she definitely hadn’t expected him to want to hide it.
*
Izzy opened the office door and saw Ethan sitting at the desk.
‘You’re late,’ he snapped without even looking at her. She felt her face fall. They couldn’t possibly go back to how they were before.
Ethan inclined his head slightly towards the kitchen and Izzy understood that someone was in there.
‘Sorry I, erm, overslept.’
He scrawled something on a piece of paper. ‘We have a pick up this morning, there’s lots to be done, I don’t pay you to sleep in bed, whilst the rest of us are busting our asses.’
He passed the piece of paper across the desk to her and she picked it up. ‘I missed you.’
She felt the grin burst across her face as he supressed a slight smile and returned his attention to the computer.
But as Kyle came walking out the kitchen, with two mugs of tea, she quickly wiped the smile from her face.
‘Sorry, it won’t happen again.’
‘See that it doesn’t.’
Kyle plonked a mug down in front of Ethan and coughed, ‘Wanker.’
Ethan ignored him and Kyle gave Izzy her tea with lashings of sympathy.
He turned back to the kitchen to get his mug and Izzy felt her smile grow again as soon as his back was turned.
‘Don’t just bloody stand there, I’ve been doing your job for over half an hour already. I think you can take over now.’
Ethan stood up and moved to sit down in the chair opposite the desk, brushing past Izzy slightly as he did so, his hand at the small of her back as he walked past. His touch was like fire.
She sat down and turned over her notepad to see what was on her to-do list from the day before. But as soon as she picked up the pad, she slammed it back down again as Kyle came out the kitchen. Her eyes met Ethan’s and he smirked at what she had seen. Although the computer was on and the diary was on the screen, it was quite obvious Ethan had done no work at all, or very little, because currently face down on the desk was the most intricate, detailed biro drawing she had ever seen. Of her. Naked.
Kyle sat down on the sofa, thumbing through a magazine while Izzy stared at Ethan and Ethan sipped his tea and stared back.
Izzy glanced over at Kyle who was paying them no attention whatsoever and then surreptitiously picked up the pad again, angling her body so that Kyle couldn’t see it.
The doodle was stunning and showed her lying face down, her naked breasts resting on the sheet, staring up from the page with a mischievous grin. Her bum looked small and pert as long legs stretched behind her. The star tattoos she had trailing from her neck to her bum were recreated perfectly in this sketch. This was drawn by someone who was very familiar with his subject.
She glanced over at Ethan again and he was still staring at her. How Kyle hadn’t noticed the tangible atmosphere that lay between them was ridiculous.
She turned her attention back to the computer, trying to shut out Ethan’s gaze although she could still see him staring out the corner of her eye.
She opened up her email account and quickly fired off an email to Ethan.
‘Stop staring at me as if you’d like to devour me.’
Ethan’s phone pinged with the arrival of the email and she saw him fish it out of his jeans and look at it. He coughed as he read it, then she saw him replying.
He pressed send and then looked up at her triumphantly.
She pressed refresh on her screen and a second later Ethan’s email arrived.
‘Devouring you is the least of your worries.’
She scooped up a load of papers, with no idea what was on them, and carried them over to the filing cabinet, bending down to the lowest drawer. She had trousers on but she hoped the message was very clear as she all but waggled her bum towards Ethan’s direction.
‘Kyle, go and get some breakfast will you, take my car. I’ll have jam on toast. I fancy something sweet. Izzy what do you fancy? A sausage?’
She smirked. ‘No I had sausage last night, I don’t think I could have it again today. I’ll just have peanut butter on toast, thank you.’
Ethan handed Kyle some money and he left, leaving them staring at each other. They listened to his footprints slope away, the sound of him getting into the car and the engine starting.
In two large strides Ethan was across the room, kissing her hard and pinning her up against the wall. She found her hands in his hair as he cupped her face, then he slid his hands down her sides to her hips, yanking her shirt out of her trousers.
‘This needs to be quick baby, Gizmo will be here any moment.’
She nodded, desperate for him, to feel him inside of her. She pulled at his belt as they heard a vehicle. She stilled. Ethan’s hands travelling up to her breasts also froze. Was that Kyle going or Gizmo arriving?
The next thing they heard Kyle shout out. ‘I’m just going to get breakfast, do you want anything?’
‘Bacon sandwich please,’ Gizmo shouted back.
Crap.
Ethan stepped away from her and then quickly back to help her adjust her shirt. She smoothed down his hair and straightened his collar.
Izzy ran back to her chair and sat down just as Gizmo came through the door. Ethan she noticed was busy picking up all the paper she had discarded in their moment of passion. Gizmo didn’t notice anything amiss as he greeted them both with a good morning and sauntered off to the kitchen to make a coffee.
It took everything Izzy had to stop herself either bursting out laughing or groaning with frustration, but judging by the significant bulge in Ethan’s trousers, he was feeling equally frustrated.
Gizmo came back in munching on a chocolate biscuit and hovered near Izzy’s desk, offering her one.
‘I’m really sorry about yesterday, I shouldn’t have arranged for Steve to hit me – especially when you said you were against it – and I definitely shouldn’t have left you there to be punched instead. I completely forgot that Steve’s booking was yesterday, what with Tia fainting and everything. I was mortified when Ethan told me what happened.’ Gizmo looked guiltily at her eye that was already turning a nice shade of purple.
‘Don’t worry, it was just a complete misunderstanding. How is Tia today?’
‘She’s fine, she was already doing the ironing and the washing up by the time I got home. Silly thing needs to take it easy. But she won’t listen.’
‘I’m sure she’s fine, she’s already had one child, if she needs to rest her body will let her know.’
Gizmo picked up Kyle’s discarded magazine and started flicking through it. Izzy chanced a glance at Ethan as he sat back down opposite her, but his dark gaze hadn’t changed. She logged onto their website and tried to ignore the heat from his eyes.
‘Where was Jim yesterday? He should have been there to help with the pick up shouldn’t he? I know Kyle had a dentist appointment but what happened to Jim?’
Ethan shrugged. ‘He does this from time to time, doesn’t bother to show up. I think he gets the odd building job here and there and he gets more money from that than he does with us.’
‘So that’s ok then, that he doesn’t bother to show up and he doesn’t even have the courtesy to let you know?’
‘It’s not ok, no, the man is a tit, but he’s my cousin so what can I do.’
‘So just because he’s your cousin, he can get away with treating you and the company like that.’
‘Ethan sacked him once,’ Gizmo said, around a mouthful of chocolate biscuit.
‘Why on earth did you take him back?’
‘Because my mum smacked me round the back of the head when she found out.’
Izzy looked at Ethan. ‘Seriously?’
‘My mum is a formidable w
oman, you don’t want to cross her.’
She burst out laughing. ‘That’s hilarious, the great Ethan Chase is scared of his mum.’
Ethan didn’t smile. ‘Izzy, when you meet my mum, you’ll see for yourself.’
She couldn’t help smiling to herself that he’d said ‘when’, not ‘if’, but then smacked herself internally about getting excited over something that was quite clearly an offhand comment.
Izzy concentrated on sending a few emails while Ethan was still concentrating on her.
Kyle came back in, stamping his feet from the cold, and the atmosphere between her and Ethan cleared slightly as they couldn’t continue to stare at each other without one of the others noticing.
Kyle handed over the breakfasts, getting her and Ethan’s orders mixed up. Ethan stood to swap with her, deliberately brushing his fingers against hers as he took his bag of food from her.
‘I didn’t have enough cash to pay for it all.’
‘Take the difference out of petty cash,’ Ethan said, as he tucked into his jam on toast.
Izzy took a bite from her peanut butter on toast and then opened the drawer to get the petty cash tin out. ‘How much do we owe you?’
‘Just five pounds,’ Kyle said, through a mouthful of sausage sandwich.
Izzy opened the tin to see it was completely empty.
‘Oh, we’re going to have to owe you I’m afraid, we’re clean out.’
Ethan stood up to look at the tin. ‘I just put a hundred pounds in there the other day, two days ago in fact. Where’s it gone?’
Izzy shrugged and looked round at the boys. ‘Have any of you borrowed anything?’
They both shook their heads. She looked back at Ethan, who was still staring at the empty tin, both his eyebrows slashing down into a furious scowl. He looked up at Izzy and she felt guilt slam through her even though she had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.
‘I haven’t taken it.’
Tied up With Love Page 17