Stronger with You (With You Trilogy)

by R. J. Sable

  “Okay,” I breathed, blushing from the PDA.

  Jason just grinned before he turned around to leave, loving my blushing as always. I listened happily as Adam chatted away about Laura, smiling at my best friend’s happiness.

  I found my thoughts drifting a little throughout the day’s lectures. I’d talked to Alex the night before whilst Jason had been in the lab at university. I’d gone behind Jason’s back and I was worried what he’d think. Ever since he’d told me about his mother, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t possibly imagine a scenario in which a mother would leave her children like that. If I didn’t understand it, then it must have been even harder for him.

  I thought he needed closure, even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. I thought he needed to talk to her. She was the only one who could give him the answers he needed to forgive himself for her leaving. I knew he thought that he’d caused her to leave by asking her to save him and Ben from their father. The question was: how was he going to get that closure if he didn’t know where she was? His Mum had left him over sixteen years ago.

  I obviously couldn’t ask Jason about it because I didn’t want him to get upset or annoyed with me. My plan was to track down his mother and then give him the option of confronting her when the time came. Alex had been a godsend. He’d found Jason and Ben’s birth certificates thanks to the information he had access to in his new job. I’d looked over Jason’s birth certificate a million times. It was committed to memory.

  1. BIRTHDATE: 03/08/1987

  2. DISTRICT: Lincoln, Lincolnshire

  3. FORENAME: Jason

  4. SEX: Male

  5. FATHER’S NAME: Gregory Reed

  6. MOTHER’S NAME: Louisa Reed formerly Johansson

  7. FATHER’S OCCUPATION: Officer, Royal Air Force

  The document, whilst containing relatively little information, had given me a lot to think about. I now had names to put to Jason’s parents along with their stories. I didn’t know what Gregory Reed looked like, but I knew he was a monster who abused his wife and children.

  I now knew that Jason’s mother’s name was Louisa. Her maiden name sounded Swedish, I wondered vaguely if Jason had chosen to learn Swedish because of her. He did look a little Scandinavian with his handsome dirty blond locks and strong jaw. If he had chosen Swedish because of his mother then I figured he must have held some deep-seated connection to her, despite his claims to the contrary.

  Her name was all I had though, I had no other way of finding her. I’d searched for Louisa Reed on all the social networking sites I could think of. I’d also searched for Louisa Johansson in case she’d ditched her married name. There were so many hits, some of whom could have been Jason’s mother. They were about the right age. Then again, maybe none of them were. She could have remarried, could have moved abroad. She might not even be on one of those sites. It was an impossible task and for now, it seemed, I was stumped. I wasn’t going to give up though, I’d find a way.

  My distracting thoughts had the day passing in a mystifying blur. Before I knew it, I was in Jason’s flat, working through my course reading whilst he made us dinner.

  “I have to go back to Derby next weekend,” I said apologetically as Jason came into the room with the food. I cleared away my books so that we could eat at the table.

  “You do?” He frowned.

  “Matt’s thirtieth,” I nodded.

  “I thought you two didn’t get on that well,” Jason said, sighing as he sat down next to me.

  “We’re not as close as we could be,” I admitted. “But Jake hates me and I still had to go to his birthday. We’re a family, Jason.”

  “He’s not even your brother,” Jason shrugged.

  “He might as well be. My brothers would kill me if they thought I didn’t see him as a brother. To Ian and the twins, he holds the same status we do, even more so with Karl. The two of them have been even closer than the twins for as long as I can remember.”

  “Okay,” Jason nodded resolutely. “I’m coming though. You promised,” he reminded me.

  “It’s family only, Jason. You know that,” I sighed, cringing because I had indeed promised him.

  “I didn’t mean I had to come when you go out,” he shook his head. “I’m coming with you to Derby. I’ll stay at yours while you’re out. That way I’ll be close if you need me.”

  “I don’t know what my brothers will say,” I cringed.

  “I don’t care what they say, Jamie. I’m coming whether they like it or not. I’ll stay in a hotel if I have to,” he said firmly, giving me his no-nonsense, firm look.

  “Okay,” I sighed, giving in to him because I could see he wasn’t going to budge.

  I’d have to talk to Ian about it, I couldn’t imagine it was going to go down smoothly. I knew Ian was in London for the week and wondered if he’d mind me calling him. I decided to play it safe and text him to call me when he wasn’t too busy.

  “What’s up, Jelly?” Ian said as soon as I answered the phone.

  “Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you about Matt’s birthday,” I answered cautiously.

  Ian sighed in frustration and I wondered how I could have pissed him off with so few words.

  “It’s driving me mad,” he groaned.

  “What?” I asked, having no idea what he was talking about.

  “Matt’s thirtieth,” he explained. “I can’t figure out what we should do and the miserable bastard needs cheering up a the minute.”

  “Oh?” I asked, wondering what was up with him.

  “His family,” Ian answered simply, letting me know that it was none of my business and I shouldn’t ask any questions.

  I didn’t know much about Matt’s family or the reason he’d ended up living with us. I knew he had a mother and a sister and that was about all. I’d never met either of them but I knew they sometimes called. We could always tell because the phone calls were always very aggressive and Craig, Jake, and I usually went into hiding if one of the others wasn’t home to calm him down during the aftermath.

  “You mean you can’t figure out what to do in general, or what sort of prank you’re going to play?”

  “Both,” he admitted. “I was thinking thirty should be the grand finale.”

  “You mean you won’t still be humiliating them all when you’re forty-one?”

  “I don’t want to think about getting that old, Jelly,” he scolded. “It’s bad enough that I’ll be forty when Jake turns thirty.”

  “Ian, you could pass for being the same age as Craig easily,” I reassured him, grinning because Ian had a sensitive spot and I thought it was endearing. It never occurred to me that he was worried about getting old.

  “Flattery will get you everywhere, Jelly,” he said wryly. “Anyway, what did you want to talk about?”

  “I was wondering if Jason could come down to Derby with me?” I asked cautiously, holding my breath in anticipation of his answer. I would have to hold my breath a while longer because Ian didn’t answer immediately.

  “Are you two joined at the hip or something?” He said eventually, a note of frustration in his voice.

  I wasn’t really sure how to answer that so I kept quiet and listened to Ian sighing on the other end of the phone.

  “Why do you want him there?” He asked.

  “He wants to come,” I explained. “And I thought maybe I could go and see Alex on Sunday before I go home. I’d like Jason and Alex to get to know each other better.”

  “Family only, Jelly,” Ian said with another sigh.

  “I know,” I said hurriedly. “He has to work on his thesis anyway. He said he could hang round at the uni on the Saturday and use their resources.”

  “How would you get here?” He said.

  “Train, I guess.”

  “Jake’s getting the train too.”

  “Ian please don’t make me get the train with Jake,” I pleaded, seeing where this was leading. “He really hates me.”

  “He
doesn’t hate you, Jelly,” Ian said angrily. “I’m gonna knock your heads together soon if the two of you don’t knock this childish shit off.”

  I felt like pointing out that I hadn’t done anything, it was all on Jake, but I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I noted that Ian had yet to make the transition to soldier mode, despite the fact that he sounded annoyed with me and I was grateful for it.

  “When’s he coming down?” I asked, hoping to steer away from potentially dangerous topics of conversation.

  “Friday night,” Ian answered. “You can find out what train he’s getting and join him at Leeds.

  It was an order not a question. I sighed inwardly, not looking forward to having to call Jake but I knew there was no point arguing with Ian.

  “Okay,” I conceded quietly. “Is Jason allowed to come then?”

  “Yes,” Ian said eventually. “But remind him that Craig won that fight and that he’s the least of Jason’s problems.”

  “Craig told you, huh?” I sighed.

  “Yeah,” Ian said smugly. “Were you okay with it?” He added gently.

  I was warmed by the fact that Ian had considered my feelings on the matter, that he suspected I might have been bothered.

  “Not at first,” I admitted. “But they seemed to have fun and that’s the most important thing.”

  “Okay,” he said awkwardly, clearing his throat. “I gotta go, Jelly. I’ll see you next Friday. Be good.”

  “I will, and Ian?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief as I flopped back onto the bed. That had gone surprisingly well. I’d expected Ian to get annoyed that I wanted Jason there, especially after his reaction to my text to Jason when we were in Newcastle. I’d had to agree to call Jake and spend time with him on the train but I figured it could be worse, at least I’d have Jason with me.

  Chapter 28

  Saturday, 23rd February 2013

  This was exactly what I needed after the worst phone call of my life. It had been like pulling teeth. Talk about awkward silences. Neither Jake nor I had wanted to talk to each other. He’d answered questions as briefly as possible and avoided talking to me at all costs. It made me feel guilty for calling him, which was ridiculous because Ian hadn’t given me any choice.

  Eventually, Jake had grunted something about e-mailing me two tickets and then hung up. I’d been pleasantly surprised that he was going to fix Jason’s ticket without argument. I figured Ian had probably told him to, otherwise we could give him the money back on Friday night.

  I’d been decidedly grumpy after the call and Jason had taken me into town to “cheer me up”. His words not mine. We were sat in a cosy little café, decorated in autumn hues, with plush sofas instead of the usual stiff-backed wooden chairs. Dulcet acoustic music filled the room and I found myself relaxing in the cosy surroundings.

  “Feeling better now, little squirrel?” Jason asked, his arm around my shoulders.

  “Much better,” I smiled, holding my steaming hot, soy latte with both my hands to keep them warm.

  “Good,” he answered happily, brushing his lips against my forehead. “You want to talk about it?”

  “Yes and no,” I sighed. “I just wish I knew why he still hates me. He can’t seriously think I lied. He must know the truth by now.”

  “I doubt he really hates you, Jamie,” Jason reassured me.

  “I did make him lose his best friend,” I cringed. The two of them had been inseparable since they’d met.

  “Why would he still want him as a friend after what he did, Jamie?” Jason said, anger flashing across his face.

  I knew the anger was directed at Duff and not at me, but I still wished Jason didn’t feel that way. I’d tried to put it behind me and wanted him to as well.

  “I don’t know, I hope Jake doesn’t hold it against me forever though. I miss him. Before this all happened, it felt like he was going out of his way to be nice to me.”

  “He doesn’t deserve a second chance. If he comes crawling back you should tell him where to shove it,” Jason said adamantly.

  “He’s my brother, Jason. I still love him,” I said, desperate for him to understand. “Haven’t you and Ben ever fallen out?”

  “Nothing major,” he shrugged. “He gets pissed off with me for being bossy sometimes,” he grinned. “I have no idea why.”

  “Nope, I can’t imagine where he got that idea from,” I shook my head and smirked.

  Jason broke off half of his blueberry muffin and put it on the plate next to my chocolate one, taking a small bit of it in exchange.

  “Have you lost weight since you started seeing me?” I laughed.

  “Nope, why?” He asked curiously.

  “Because you’re always giving me your food,” I teased.

  “Because you need it more,” he retorted.

  “I don’t want you going hungry, Jason,” I frowned. “You work out tonnes at the minute.”

  He had kicked up the martial arts training. He was still running the athletics club, and came with me on most of my runs and swims. I had no idea how he did it all.

  “Don’t worry about me, Jamie. I’m fine. Does it bother you? The working out I mean?” He asked, brushing his hand over my cheek gently.

  “No, as long as you don’t wear yourself out,” I smiled, sliding my hand up his shirt to play with his happy trail. He usually told me off for doing it, but it was still worth it. “I can’t complain about the results though,” I grinned, tracing my fingers over his abs.

  “Perv,” he grinned, snatching my hand away from his stomach.

  “Can you blame me?” I grinned, cheekily returning my hand to its previous location.

  He raised his eyebrows at me but he looked happy and let me keep my hand there, which I considered my reward for making him happy.

  I finished my muffin, and half of his, washing it down with my delicious latte. I was slowly getting used to letting Jason tell me what and when to eat. I was starting to think Ian had a point; if I complained all the time, nobody took it seriously. However, if I let the small stuff slide, when I did in fact complain, it was taken seriously.

  It was working well with Jason at least. If I actually did complain, then Jason usually decided I had good reason and dropped the issue. He could deny it all he wanted, he was bossy. He was happiest when he was the one making the decisions. I didn’t mind, it made things easier for me. Besides, the difference between Jason and my brothers was that if I didn’t want to do something, Jason would never make me do it. He’d spend a good long while trying to convince me, usually abusing his bedroom talents to do so, but if I still didn’t want to do it, he’d be okay with it.

  “Now, step two of cheer Jamie up is also step one of make Jason very, very happy,” Jason explained, the mischievous glimmer in his eye shining brightly.

  “Oh?” I asked curiously, letting him guide me through the high street by the hand.

  “Yup,” he nodded, clearly unwilling to elaborate further. He looked boyishly happy and was clearly up to something. “We’re going shopping,” he announced, stopping suddenly and turning to face me.

  “Shopping to cheer me up?” I asked, puzzled because I usually didn’t like shopping.

  “Yep,” he grinned. “I’m redeeming my coupon.” He reached into his pocket and fished out one of the coupons I’d made him.

  I cringed. He wants to go underwear shopping. I was regretting my Valentine’s Day decision a little now.

  “No changing your mind,” Jason grinned, reading my thoughts as usual.

  I let him drag me into the shop we’d stopped outside of. It was just a high street lingerie store, although I’d never been in one before.

  “So,” Jason grinned, guiding me through rack after rack of underwear. “I get to pick what you try on.”

  I nodded silently, my eyes scanning the various items. There was everything under the sun, from your bog standard t-shirt bra to impossible looking
corsets. The colours ranged from innocent looking creams, to sultry leopard print, to garish neon tones. I didn’t know where to look.

  “It’s just underwear, little squirrel,” Jason chuckled, squeezing my hand. “You don’t need to look so nervous.”

  I smiled at him and watched as his eyes travelled over the skimpy undies, looking like a kid in a sweet shop.

  I noticed the shop attendant making for us and squeezed Jason’s hand tightly.

  “Can I help you with anything?” She asked sweetly, her eyes on me. It was quite frankly a refreshing change because women usually ignored me in Jason’s presence.

  “Yes, thanks,” Jason smiled, grinning at me, probably because I was blushing furiously.

  Is it normal to go underwear shopping with your boyfriend? I had no idea, but the assistant wasn’t looking at us like we were crazy and that made me relax a little.

  “Jamie needs some new bras.”

  I flashed Jason a discreet glare because I didn’t need any bras and I would much rather we did this just the two of us.

  “Okay, brilliant,” the assistant, whose name badge read Jessica, smiled. “What size are you, Jamie?”

  “Uhm,” I mumbled. “Around a 32A I think.”

  She looked at me with a small frown, her eyes drifting down to my torso like a doctor looks at a patient.

  “Have you been measured?” She asked.

  I shook my head, knowing I was blushing again.

  “If you want I can measure you so you get the perfect fit,” Jessica smiled.

  She must have sensed my reluctance, or maybe she’d seen me crushing Jason’s hand as I clung onto it for dear life.

  “It’s completely painless, I promise,” she smiled kindly. “We just go into the changing rooms and I take a couple of quick measurements. I can assure you, we do this every day. You have nothing to worry about.”

  I was liking this girl a lot, she really made me feel at ease. Jason gave my hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement and I let Jessica lead me back to the changing rooms.