He looked at her. “We need to talk too. I’ll call you tomorrow?”
She nodded, and stepped out of the way of the nurse who was urging Landon to follow her deeper into the ER so she could attend his injuries.
Micha forced himself to walk away then, tossing up a prayer that he wouldn’t lose the wife of one of his best friends from high school before the day was through.
CHAPTER 6
Landon leaned forward in the chair and put his head in his hands. The nurse had cleaned and sanitized all the scrapes and abrasions he’d sustained while trying to get Zai out of the cave. And now he sat in the ER waiting room, still wearing the thin papery gown they’d given him because he hadn’t gotten his shirt back yet.
He should have gone home and gotten one, then come back. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave. All he’d been able to do was sit here and pray.
Someone eased down on the chair next to his.
He looked up.
Pastor Duncan held out a T-shirt. “It’s probably too big, but it might feel better than this.” He gave the sleeve of the gown a flick.
Landon smiled. “Probably. Thanks.” He wadded the gown onto the chair on his other side and drew the shirt on over his head.
The pastor studied him with searching eyes. “You holding up alright?”
Landon swallowed. “I kind of feel like this is a picture of what I did to our marriage, you know?”
Pastor Duncan’s lips turned down in thought. “I guess that might be about right. But even in the darkest times, God’s light shines bright. There’s always hope.”
Landon sighed. Pressed his face into his hands again, elbows planted on his knees. “I’m not sure I deserve a second chance.”
There was a long stretch of silence and Landon had just started to wonder if the man had left him there, when he spoke. “Yeah. I suppose you’re probably right. None of us deserve a second chance. But we are all offered more chances than we can count to try again and do right.” Landon heard the man shift. “I’ve been watching you since you came back home. And I can see the difference in you. You aren’t the same hard young man that basically told me I had no idea what I was talking about and to mind my own business.”
Landon turned his head to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m really sorry about that. I was an idiot.”
The pastor smiled. “Yes. You were. But we all have to start somewhere.”
Landon chuckled.
The man reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t let the devil beat you up over past mistakes. Each day has enough mistakes of its own. Try to remember that once we come and fall at the foot of the cross, all past mistakes are covered by the precious blood of our Savior. There’s nothing the devil likes to do more with new Christians than to beat them over the head with their failures. Everyone fails. All we can do is move forward and endeavor to do—and be—better. Not because that’s what saves us, but because of our thankfulness for the fact that He saved us.”
Landon shifted to take the weight off his throbbing elbows. “I’m trying.”
The man nodded. “Yes. You are. And I for one am proud of you.”
Landon sighed. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get her back.”
The pastor’s lips twisted. “Is Jesus enough for you?”
Landon was a little taken aback by that question coming at him such a short time after Jett had assured him as much. Realizing he was a sorry sinner in need of God’s forgiveness had been one of the best days of his life. But lingering in the back of his mind from that moment all the way to this was that maybe now he would have a chance at repairing his relationship with Zai. Would Jesus be enough if he never got her back? He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’ve tried to find peace and joy lots of other places, Pastor. It’s just not out there. The only thing that ever gave me true peace was letting go of everything and telling God that He could finally have His way with me. But if I’m honest? I’m not sure how I’ll feel if she doesn’t agree to give me another chance. I wish I could definitively say Jesus is enough. I’m just not sure I’m there yet. But I’m trying to be.”
The man nodded. “Your honesty tells me more about where you’re at than you realize. You’re headed down the right path. Just keep serving and loving and giving. And remember. Jesus is either everything to you, or He is nothing to you, because there is no halfway when it comes to serving God.” He clapped Landon on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. Anyhow”—he stood to his feet—“I’d stay, but I promised Gen I wouldn’t miss her soccer game today. I’ll be back after?”
Landon stretched his hand out to the man. “Thank you for all your help today. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done.”
The man waved away his thanks. “You would have found a way.”
Landon watched him walk out of the room, and suddenly he realized that he had a lot of praying to do if he was going to be able to live in this town and not push Zaire into doing what he wanted.
Shiloh walked back into the ER with two cardboard coffee cups in her hands. She felt a little numb. After she’d watched Micha walk away to perform surgery on Zaire, she’d made the excuse of going for coffee and left without another word. But the truth was, she’d just needed some space and air to breathe.
He’d come back to town? To work? Would she actually get to be part of her son’s life? She’d never dreamed that might ever happen after all her mistakes. But… Had he brought his girlfriend with him? Or worse… Had he married the woman?
She felt weak in the knees at that thought.
Lord, why did I have to make such a mess of things?
The heavens rang with silence.
Right. Who was she to think that God might respond to her? The truth was, prayer had been mostly a last resort for her for most of her life. So it shouldn’t be any surprise that she and God weren’t on speaking terms.
She sighed and searched the room for Landon. There. Across the way. Wow, the poor guy looked rough. He was slouched forward with his bandaged forearms planted against his knees, wearing a black shirt that was a couple sizes too large. One the hospital had lying around? Or one someone had brought to him?
She stopped by his side. “Hey. I come bearing much-needed caffeine.”
He looked up. Accepted the cup. “Thanks.”
“How is she? Any updates?” She sank into the chair next to him.
He shook his head. “Nothing yet.”
Just then came the sound of doors whooshing open.
They both looked up. But it wasn’t the doors to the back part of the ER. It was the outer doors and an officer, wearing aviators and a uniform strode inside.
Shiloh felt herself swallow. “Wow.”
Landon looked over at her with a smirk, and her face blazed crimson as she realized that she’d spoken the word out loud.
Still, she couldn’t help doing a little more scrutiny and comparison. Micha was handsome in a more-brown-than-blond broody-guy sort of way that made her feel like she was curled in front of a fire on a cold winter day with a warm cup of hot cocoa wrapped in her hand. But this guy… He was the kind of handsome—broad and chiseled—that could make a woman forget to speak. Intimidating. Not the kind of guy she would want to be involved with, except for maybe to admire from far, far away.
The man pulled off his sunglasses and his focus honed in on the two of them.
Shiloh swallowed when he stepped their way.
The officer’s gaze swept over them in a cursory, assessing scrutiny. “Looking for Landon Breckenridge.”
Landon stood, which left Shiloh sitting awkwardly with the two of them towering over her, so she stood too.
Landon stretched out his hand with a nod. “Officer. I’m Landon.”
The men shook hands.
“Name’s Phoenix Reardon. I’m new to town. Just started a week back. I’m sorry to hear about your wife.”
Landon nodded. “Ex-wife. But yes, thank you.”
The man’s brows lifted at that bit of news, but then his focus shifted and landed right on Shiloh. “And you are?” His smile radiated confidence—maybe even a dose of cockiness—as he put his hand out to her. He seemed harmless enough, even if there was a glint of interest in his eyes, and enough power in those shoulders to make a woman second-guess if she met him on a dark street.
Shiloh carefully kept her expression neutral. She had to swallow some moisture back into her mouth. Forget intimidating. This guy scared her to her core. Because he was just the kind of guy she would have at one point fallen head-over-heels for in about two-point-five seconds flat. Then she would have made a complete fool of herself with him, and paid the consequences in the long run. “Shiloh. Shiloh Finn.” She tilted Landon a nod, feeling a need to explain her presence. “I’ve been friends with Landon and his wife—ex—since we were all kids. And I’m the teacher whose field trip the accident happened on.”
Just then another set of doors swept open. All three of them turned to look.
Micha was standing just inside the waiting room. And his gaze honed in on the place where her hand was still clasped in the grasp of Riversong’s newest cop. Micha’s eyes narrowed and Shiloh snatched her hand back to her side.
Officer Reardon apparently hadn’t missed the little exchange, because he glanced assessively between them and then took a step back, folding his arms.
Micha focused on Landon. “Zaire came through the surgery with flying colors. We’ve patched up her arm and she’s in the recovery room. You’ll be able to go back and see her shortly. I’m concerned about infection because there was a lot of debris in the wound. If your insurance will cover it, I’d like her to stay for a couple nights so we can keep an eye on that, but—”
“It’s covered. Please just do what’s needed to ensure that she recovers fully. Money’s not an issue.”
Shiloh, glanced at Landon. He must be doing really well for himself to be able to give a blanket statement like that. Hadn’t Salem at one point told her that he was a rock climber? How did a job like that make money?
Micha nodded. “Alright. Good. Someone will be out to bring you back to the recovery room shortly.”
“Thank you.” There was so much relief in Landon’s words that Shiloh could tell the man still loved Zaire as much as he had on the day he married her. She wondered what had happened to separate them if he still felt so much for the woman? Being away for so long had more than one set of drawbacks.
Speaking of which… She swallowed and returned her focus to Micha’s disappearing form. Was he still so angry with her that he couldn’t even bring himself to speak to her? But she had to know about Quinten. She pushed between Officer Reardon and Landon. “Excuse me.” She trotted a few steps to catch up. “Micha, wait.”
He hesitated for a moment with his back still to her, and then finally turned to face her, his expression impassive. “I didn’t realize you were back in town.”
So it was to be the cold shoulder treatment. She folded her arms defensively. “I moved back at the end of the summer. I’m teaching sixth grade at the elementary school.”
He nodded. “We just moved back this week. I was going to call you. Things have just been a bit of a whirlwind lately.”
Shiloh dredged up all of her courage and asked, “And Quinten?”
Micha’s eyes narrowed—but she only noticed because she used to know him and all his expressions so well. “He’s at my parents’ for now. Mom will pick him up from school on the days when I’m still at work.”
So…no mention of a significant other. His mother was doing the job she should be doing. Shiloh looked down. A job she’d given up the rights to a long time ago. But maybe… “I’d really like a chance to get to know him, if you’ll let me?” She peered up at him. Could he see all the hope she was hanging on his answer?
His eyes narrowed in earnest this time. “Are you clean?”
She released a sigh. “I never was into drugs, you know that.” Parties, yes. But she’d attended for the joy of companionship, not for the drugs or alcohol, though she’d be the first to admit that the party atmosphere hadn’t been good for her. And she’d done her fair share of drinking—more to fit in than because she liked the feeling of it.
“I don’t want you drinking around him.”
Shiloh squeezed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I get that, Micha. I’m an adult now. Not the do-anything-to-fit-in girl you knew so many years ago.”
His considering look said she was going to have to convince him of that.
And she knew he was right. She’d seen her son only a handful of times in the last eight years. What kind of mother did that to her child? She blinked hard, willing the tears of regret to remain at bay.
Micha stuffed his hands into the pockets of his lab coat.
Above them the hum of the florescent lights seemed loud in the stillness.
His face softened into the briefest and barest of smiles. “You look good.”
She felt a wave of warmth that she shouldn’t have. He didn’t mean anything by the compliment. He was just being polite to the mother of his kid. “You too.”
“So… I work this weekend, but I’m off on Saturday night. Maybe you could come for dinner? Spend some time with him in the evening?”
Her tears could no longer be vanquished. Thankfulness had them flowing down her cheeks. “Thank you. Yes. I’ll be there.”
Micha gave her one last considering look before he tipped her a nod of goodbye and disappeared into the back.
When she turned to face the room, it was empty except for the handsome officer. “The nurse came to take him back. You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. Made to brush past him. “Yes. I’m fine.”
He reached out a hand. “Listen, I get that this might not be the best time, but I need to ask you about the accident. It will only take a few minutes.”
Shiloh loosed a breath. “Fine. Yes. No problem.”
CHAPTER 7
Zaire woke up and blinked at the unfamiliar metal bar beside her head. She pulled back to get a better focus. Inset below the bar, there was a panel with icons of a person in a bed. Buttons showed differing positions the bed could be raised or lowered to.
Hospital.
“Hey, you’re awake.” Someone moved on the other side of the bed and she lolled her head the other direction to see who it was.
“Landon.” She smiled. But everything felt a little bit fuzzy. Was Landon supposed to be here? “What are you doing here?”
His face, which had started to smile when she greeted him, turned serious. “You’re right. I’ll go. I’m really glad you’re going to be okay, though.”
She frowned. “No. Don’t go. Please?” She fought through the fog, trying to remember.
“Doc says your surgery went really well.”
Surgery?
“He says your wound had a lot of debris in it, so they want to keep you for a couple of days.”
Wound? Debris? She gave herself a little shake and an uncomfortable tightness drew her attention down to her arm. It had a thick bandage around it. And an IV line protruded from the back of her opposite hand. “I fell. In the cave.”
Landon leaned over the rail and gently took one of her hands. “Yes. I’m so sorry about that. I should never have let that happen. Of all the people there…” His voice choked off and he cleared his throat.
She shook her head against the pillow. “Not your fault. I should have taken your hand. Then a bat buzzed me and I swatted at it and…”
There was a distinct sheen in his eyes. “I should have done better.”
Now she couldn’t tell if he was talking about back in the cave or previously in their marriage, so she let that comment slide. What he’d said about her needing to stay in the hospital suddenly registered. “I can’t stay. I’m self-employed. My insurance is terrible. It’s too expensive—”
“I don’t want you to worry about that. It’s all covered.”
She fro
wned at him. “You can’t pay for me to stay in a hospital. It’s too much. I don’t want to be a burden.”
She was surprised when a grin spread across his face. “You used to let me pay for everything. In fact, if I recall, you sort of expected it.”
She wrinkled her nose at his teasing. “It’s not like you ever struggled to provide anything I ever asked for, Landon.”
Though he didn’t lose the smile, something flattened in his expression and he seemed to be searching for a reply.
“Knock, knock.” There was a rapping sound on her door. She glanced over to see Micha step in.
“Micha?” She lifted her head from the pillow for a better look. He was wearing a lab coat and had a stethoscope dangling from the chest pocket. “No way. Wow, look at you!” she exclaimed. How was it they were old enough for Micha to be a doctor? More to the point, what was he doing here? Didn’t he live…somewhere south?
Landon stood and released her hand. “Micha’s actually the one who did your surgery.”
Zai felt a bit lost, and she refused to consider that the feeling had any connection whatsoever to the fact that Landon had just let go of her hand. “I…” She thought back. The last thing she remembered before waking up here in the hospital was seeing the blue sky overhead when Landon pulled her from the tunnel. She frowned. “Did I pass out?”
Micha stepped closer. “Blood loss and trauma can have an effect on the memory. You don’t remember answering my questions in the ER?”
She’d spoken to him? “No.” She shook her head, feeling a little like she was walking in a dream world.
Micha didn’t look too concerned. “Well, I’m not surprised. It was a good thing that Landon thought so quickly and got that tourniquet on your arm. Otherwise, I’m afraid today’s outcome would have been quite different.” He smiled then, and Zaire was reminded of how charming he could be when he chose to be back in high school. “Thankfully, God had other things in mind, yeah? Your surgery went really well, but I’m going to have you stay here for at least a couple nights. I’m concerned about infection, especially considering the method of your cut.” He reached out and touched the IV bag hanging above her bed. “We’ve got a series of antibiotics pumping into you right now though, so please don’t worry. Just try to rest. I’ll be back to check on you during my evening rounds. It’s really good to see you both. After you get past this, I’d love to catch up.” With that informal dismissal, he started for the door.
Soft Kisses and Birdsong (Riversong Book 2) Page 6