Wolfwater

by Alia Hess

  “Sacred?”

  “Yes! That is word. They are not sacred.”

  Anise looked in her lap. “I know they’re just machines, but everyone reveres them as sacred tools of a god. Of you, Sasha. And… I guess I do too.”

  “Well, this god is giving you one with permission to use, okay?”

  “For what purpose?”

  Sasha grinned. “To be me when I am not around. I got baby on way, Anise. I can’t be flying drone around all the time to help people. But you do great job at taking care of everyone. And maybe they don’t give you same respect as Sasha, but when you fly this drone, they don’t got to know it’s you.”

  Anise scratched her head, staring at him through her big glasses. “I don’t think I quite understand.”

  Sasha took Anise’s tablet and accessed the drone on the table. He’d nicknamed it “Candy.” Tilting the tablet toward Anise, he said, “You see all this sentences here?”

  She squinted and nodded.

  “Pick sentence and click it.”

  She pressed her finger to the first sentence on the list. From the speakers of the drone came: “Hello, this is Sasha.”

  Anise gasped. “That’s your voice.”

  “Yeah! Cool, right? I record whole bunch of sentences. Now, when you flying drone around and you need to talk to somebody, you just got to pick what you want it to say. Pick other sentence. Try it.”

  Anise pressed another.

  The drone said, “This is Sasha and I can see what you are doing.”

  Anise giggled. “I don’t know if I’m worthy to use this, but honestly, I think it will be very useful.”

  “There is guns on it too, if you would ever need to use, but I think just yelling at people works best. That is what worked for me. I have nice sentences on there too, about helping and taking care of people. If there are other things you want it to say, I can record myself saying it. Like times for church meeting or whatever. Maybe later I can show you how to fly it, okay?”

  A wide smile formed on Anise’s face, but she cast her gaze to the table and set the tablet down with unsteady hands. “This is wonderful. Thank you. I just… I hope I can use it right.”

  “You will do fine.”

  “I’m glad you got this drone all set up, because I need to go back to Burr soon.”

  “Oh. You are leaving?”

  “Probably in a week or so. It’s been nice seeing the followers here, and I’m so glad I could help you and Corvin, but I have to get back home. My sons love their grandma, but I’m sure they miss me. And I miss them too.”

  Sasha raised his eyebrows. “Anise, you are mom? You don’t say nothing about that before, so I thought you were just sexy single lady.”

  “Single, yes, but I have two boys. Twelve and fourteen.”

  “Well, maybe this drone be even better for you than I thought. You can stay in Burr and fly drone to visit churches. Don’t got to leave your kids.”

  Anise stared at the drone, her brows pushing up. “That would be very nice. Maybe I could also fly it to Burr and see my sons tomorrow? If you teach me how to do that?”

  “Sure. Yeah. I will show you how to turn on screen so your kids can see you. You can be Sasha or Anise with this drone.” He chuckled. “I am like god, and you are like prophet, huh?”

  She paused, twisting her hands together. “Thank you, Sasha. I’m so… so overwhelmed that you—”

  Sasha sighed and frowned.

  “I shouldn’t have used that word. I don’t feel bad. You’re not making me feel bad. I’m just so honored that you trust me with one of these drones. And you want me to act as you.”

  “Well, if you really want to act like me, you got to get better at flirting.”

  She looked away. “Not exactly a talent of mine.”

  “I bet you got all kinds of thoughts going on in your head, but you are too shy to say.”

  “Not that it matters anyway. You being married and all. And it’s easy to see how much you love your wife.”

  Sasha shrugged. “That is true, but flirting don’t have to mean nothing. Not when I do it, anyway. I am only having bit of fun. I would never cheat on Dusty and she knows that.”

  Anise nodded.

  Corvin mumbled in his sleep and rolled over, knocking his sketchbook onto the floor.

  Sasha said, “You know, we can’t have relationship in romantic way, or sexual”—Anise bit her lip, a flush crawling up her neck—“but we can have other kind of relationship. Friendship, and also like, um… partners. For the church. You do everything, and you are amazing leader. Honestly, you deserve to be god more than me. But I think this people here going to listen to Sasha more than Anise, huh?”

  “Not just here. All of the churches.”

  “So you and me can work together to make this church great place for people. You are brains and heart and I am face.”

  “You’re the heart too.” Anise toyed with a pleat on her skirt. “Can… can I hug you?”

  Sasha smiled. “Go for it, baby.”

  Anise turned slowly and put her arms around him. He gave her a squeeze and she relaxed into his shoulder. She stayed that way for a moment, her shallow breath on his neck, then pulled away.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. Thank you, Sasha.”

  “We can be friends, me and you. And even when I am back on Nis, you want to talk to me or need my help, I will be there for you. Got to make sure cult with my name in it is staying on right path, you know?”

  She gave him a shy smile. “That will be wonderful.”

  Audio Diary 01|November 16, 2173|Length: 00:34

  So, all my old audio diaries were in American, but I think I am going to record these in Russian. Sometimes I get tired of talking in American, and I don’t have anyone to speak Russian to. Dusty’s vocabulary is getting better, but not enough for me to have a conversation with her.

  Today, I helped Anise fly her drone to Burr to talk to her kids. It made her really happy, and I’m pretty sure those kids think Anise is the coolest mom in the world now that she has a drone. They were excited to talk to me too.

  Audio Diary 06|November 24, 2173| Length: 00:27

  Anise is getting really good at flying her drone. She was so excited to talk to me today, because she said there was some guy outside of town trying to rob a family, and she used the prerecorded sentences on the drone to yell at him and it frightened him so much he ran away. Anise saved the day.

  I knew this was a good idea.

  Audio Diary 07|November 25, 2173|Length: 00:50

  I think this was a bad idea. Or maybe I just need to pay more attention. I still don’t know if she did it on purpose or not. Today, I took a bath and walked into the bedroom to get my clothes. Then I noticed a drone sitting on the table, and I thought, “Did Corvin put Baby in here for some reason? Did I even fly Baby back here last night? Or did I put it in auto-mode to fly next to Dusty?” So I’m standing there in front of the drone, naked, thinking about this stuff, and then I notice the camera light is on. It dawns on me that it’s Anise’s drone. [laughter] So, accident or not, she now has a real nice close-up of my “popsicle.”

  It’s going to drive me crazy wondering if she’s just a sweet and shy girl or if she is really a sneaky pervert. I’ll give her more points if she’s a sneaky pervert.

  Audio Diary 11|December 02, 2173|Length: 00:54

  The retrieval party will be to their sailboat in a few days. Anise stayed here in Broken Metro a lot longer than she planned, but I think being able to visit her kids with the drone made her feel like it was okay to stay longer. She could have left already—Corvin and I would have been fine without her—but the followers like having her here and I think she doesn’t want to leave me.

  I thought of something the church could do to help people. Anise loved the idea, but said there weren’t enough funds to do something like that. When Corvin offered to front the money, Anise started blushing like mad. She was so happy. It’ll be great.


  One of those mechanics is going to drive Corvin and me to Conch so we can meet up with the retrieval party, and then he’ll take Anise back to Burr. I’m glad we’re getting a ride, because I didn’t really want to push Corvin in a shopping cart.

  I’m worried about what will happen to me and Corvin once we get to Nis, but honestly, right now I’m more anxious to see Dusty. Makes my palms sweaty just thinking about it. I want to kiss her round belly so bad.

  Big Ted and his “junkhunk” called to mind just about every cliché post-apocalyptic VR game and comic book Sasha could think of. The huge vehicle rumbled next to the church, truck doors rattling. Tiny animal skulls jangled from the rearview mirror, and large rusty spikes studded the front bumper and hubcaps of the wide wooden wheels.

  The mechanic sported a mohawk and thick rubber goggles, his jolly face weather-beaten and greasy. Safety pins covered his suspenders, and the tails of his ratty plaid shirt flapped in the breeze. He stood, hands on his hips, as he talked with Anise.

  Followers crowded the area. Some of them eyed the junkhunk, but most of them clustered around Sasha, their awe-filled gazes glued to his face. There was a small tug on his tee shirt, and someone else grazed his elbow. He tried to ignore it; this always happened when he was among the worshippers. His first attendance at the weekly community dinner had been quite awkward, because everyone stared and touched him while he tried to eat. When someone asked why a god even needed to eat at all, he’d decided he prefered the solitude of the bedroom.

  People used to eye him when he entered the mess hall of his old research facility too, but that was always because he’d done something stupid or offensive when he was drunk. He wasn’t sure having people stare at him because they thought he was a god was any better.

  Big Ted’s voice boomed over the rumble of the idling engine. “Okay, you two. Let’s get a move on.”

  Several boxes of electronics sat in the back seat of the junkhunk. Anise said there were a lot more items in Burr, but detouring there to gather them didn’t seem like a priority right now.

  Corvin gave Anise a bear hug, nearly knocking off her felted sun hat. “You’ve been a wonderful help, dear! Thank you for taking care of my leg and for all the delicious meals. It’s been lovely to meet you. Please keep in touch and send me some photos of your next paintings.”

  “Certainly. I like writing letters—or, um, ‘emails’—with the tablet. Swapping pictures of our art sounds very nice.” Anise smiled and turned to Sasha. She swallowed and looked away. “I don’t really know what to say right now, Sasha. It was… it was such an honor to meet you, and…”

  “No, Anise. It was honor to meet you.”

  The crowd murmured and turned their eyes from Sasha to Anise. She blushed furiously and stared at her shoes.

  “Is it okay if I give you hug?” he asked.

  She nodded and Sasha gave her a squeeze. The muttering of the crowd grew louder. Sasha helped Corvin into the passenger seat of the junkhunk, then climbed into the back. He shut the door and leaned out the window.

  “Anise, send me message anytime. We can talk more about plans for church or anything else you want. Don’t be afraid to talk to me, baby.” Sasha turned to the crowd. “You guys do good, okay? I will be watching.”

  Big Ted slid into the driver’s seat. “Alright. To the beach!”

  As they pulled away from the church, worshippers waved, then crowded around Anise, talking animatedly.

  The poor woman is going to have fend them off with a stick again, this time from herself. It’s good. Maybe a little of that respect for me will transfer to her, instead. She’s the one who deserves it.

  Big Ted turned down the dirt street, yelling at cows in his path. The houses and fields fell away, replaced by building foundations, piles of brick and mortar, heaps of rotted rubber tires, and Old World items rusted beyond recognition.

  A small part of Sasha enjoyed the decrepit scenery because it called to mind his travels with Dusty. Their attraction had been intense; it was so hard for him to try being a gentleman and take things slow. But the Islands would be a better sight—warm beaches, all his friends together again, his cozy little house, and his gorgeous mommy-to-be—as long as Palesun wasn’t waiting on the shore to haul him off to prison. But Quietbird wouldn’t let that happen, right? He wouldn’t tell them to come home unless it was safe.

  The contents of the electronics boxes juddered in the seat beside Sasha. An anxious knot in the pit of his stomach grew a little bigger with each passing derelict building. It wouldn’t take them long to get to Conch. He wasn’t sure how well-timed their departure was. Would the retrieval party already be waiting for them? Would he have to pace on the beach for hours until they showed up?

  I don’t know if I can handle that. I’ve been waiting almost three months—every second of it agonizing. I finally get to see Dusty. We’re finally going home.

  Sasha leaned forward and clapped Corvin on the shoulder. “We’re going home.”

  Corvin beamed. “I know.”

  Sasha’s heart thrummed hard in his chest as the little rowboat approached the beach. Gentlewave’s sailboat rocked in the current farther offshore, and Sasha hadn’t been able to take his eyes off the tiny, hot pink figure on the deck.

  “Are you okay, Sasha? Excited?” A huge grin was plastered to Corvin’s face, his dark eyes bright and cheery.

  “Yes. So excited.” Sasha’s words came out shakier than expected, and Corvin patted his back.

  They stood in the sand near a water-warped dock, seagulls perched on the posts, beating their wings. It was blustery and cool and there weren’t many people on the beach. The followers had given them both a couple of hand-me-down coats and shoes. Though trying on his new furry mint coat sounded fun, Sasha was ready to get on deck and climb into Dusty’s pink one with her.

  He wiped his clammy hands on his jeans as the rowboat stopped at the dock. Gentlewave beckoned, his red scarf flapping in the chilly wind. Corvin hobbled across the dock and eased into the boat with Gentlewave’s help. Sasha passed off his box of electronics, then climbed in, sitting next to it on the bench.

  Gentlewave grinned. “Hey, guys. Sasha, you look like you’re about to be sick.”

  “I got too much nerves to see Dusty. And my baby.”

  “I’ll row fast.”

  Water sloshed against the sides of their rowboat. Despite the wind, it was a clear day, warm sun and ocean spray kissing Sasha’s face as he helped row. Corvin winced as the waves jostled the boat and his broken leg.

  As they reached the sailboat, he expected Dusty to be standing at the railing, awaiting his arrival, but then remembered how scared of water and boats she was, and figured looking over the edge was probably too much for her.

  Sasha helped Corvin climb onto the deck as Gentlewave secured the rowboat. Owl stood waiting next to Mothwing, tears in her eyes, her dark hair blowing across her face. She pulled Corvin into her arms and sobbed. He kissed her scarred forehead and lowered himself onto a seat, setting his crutch beside him. Owl sat next to him, then smiled at Sasha. She pointed to a seat on the opposite side, where Dusty waited. Her honey eyes were huge with longing as she squeezed the seat, seemingly frozen in place.

  Sasha’s heart jackhammered as he took in his beautiful wife. She almost didn’t seem real—just another photo—an image that couldn’t kiss him or caress him or whisper in his ear. But she was real. Sasha sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace. He pressed his mouth against her full lips, hungrily kissing and tasting her, his hands touching whatever they could—her hair, her face, the bulge of her belly under her coat. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and he moaned against her lips, wanting all of her. He wanted to feel every inch of her skin against his, to be as with her as much as possible and never let her go again.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered as she covered his face with kisses. “I missed you so bad. Only thing that keep me hanging on most of the time was thinking about you.”

  �
�Same here,” Dusty breathed. “I couldn’t stand being away from you. I’ve lived in this coat for almost three months, wishing it were you.” She ran her hands through his curls and kissed his jaw and neck. “You wanna make love?”

  “Don’t tease me, baby.”

  “We can go downstairs. Right now. It’s not like anyone expects any different from us. C’mon.”

  He laughed and stood, looking back at their friends. Corvin caught his eye and winked. Dusty took Sasha’s hand, pulling him to the lower deck, paneled in warm wood. They entered a tiny room with a bunk affixed to one wall, draped in a patchwork quilt. Above was a small round window, dim light streaming in. Sasha unzipped Dusty’s coat and slipped a hand under the hem of her shirt. She sat on the bunk and he pressed his face to her stomach, kissing her belly—his baby—softly.

  “You are beautiful.”

  “I’m getting chubby,” Dusty said.

  “No. You are beautiful momma.”

  He kicked off his shoes and tore off his coat and shirt, then remembered to close the door to the room. When he turned back, Dusty already had most of her clothing off, struggling to remove one of her socks. Sasha helped her, then took off the rest of his clothes and climbed under the quilt next to her. He shut his eyes, slipping his hands around her back, her soft, warm skin pressed against his.

  Please don’t let this be a dream. Please. I don’t want to wake up in that fucking detainment center on a dirty hut floor, Corvin pacing with a straight razor in his hand.

  “Pinch me, baby. I am worried this is not real.”

  Dusty slid a hand down his back and pinched his ass.

  “Ooh. Still not sure if I’m dreaming. Do it again.”

  Dusty laughed and pinched him again. He buried his face in her sea salt and pine scented hair and pushed his growing hardness against her thigh. Running a thumb over her pink nipple, he said, “I missed your body.”

  “I missed yours too.” She gripped him, stroking, as he nuzzled her breasts. “I want you inside me,” she whispered. “I want to be close to you. As close as I can get.”