Across the Kolgan Sea

by Benjamin R. Babst

  Everyone stood in horror at her ill-speech, some even cringing away from her. Yantha didn’t show any concern for the shock, however, she even seemed to smile at it. How amazing it was, how warped and perverted it made her beauty. At the same time, that look of satisfaction toward the acid she spewed made things make more sense to me. She was Ahrad’s wife, but neglect caused her to leave him. All of those times I’d seen Ahrad stare blankly into the distance or obsess over whatever illusion he was working on at the moment came to mind. In fact, with how incomplete but detailed that vision was, it must have been what he was so focused on.

  As Yantha was eased back to her seat by Kaihar, I looked again from the ashes of Ahrad’s wand to the stone that surely broke some of a rib. Gently, I lifted the rock and placed it on the ground beside him. All the alfar turned their attention to me, waiting for me to speak, and I knew exactly what to speak of. “As witness to Ahrad’s dying wish,” I started, head slightly turned in Yantha’s direction, “it is my duty to relay it to all who stand here, a difficult task that I felt nervous about failing to accomplish. When I saw it, I did not even comprehend it as something with meaning.” I looked back down at the ashes. “Just an incomplete one of Ahrad’s many illusions.”

  “So,” Yantha scoffed even as Kaihar and some other alfar tried to calm her down, “is that his dying regret? That he didn’t complete one of his many ‘masterpieces’? I should have known he would be so engrossed in them.”

  Ignoring the fact she was disrupting the rite, I responded, “I will admit he was consumed by his passion for fabricated things, but what I saw betrayed something far deeper. Tragic in fact. The illusion was incredible even though most of it was not done. The grass smelled of deep spring and even the shadowy figures of dancers in the distance were exquisite. Other than the floor and himself, there was only one thing that was completed. In his arms, dancing joyously with him was a beautiful alf woman. Her face was the only thing that was complete about her. It was in fact the most beautiful thing about the entire scene.”

  Yantha’s eyes widened and she squirmed backward as if what I were describing reminded her of something she did not want to remember. “Yantha, that woman was you, her face looked just like yours, all the beauty in it was because of how Ahrad sees you, no doubt. I’m sorry if you look at him with disgust, and I can’t really say he didn’t deserve at least some of what you said and still feel, but I think you are what his last regret was. All he wanted was your love, and since he failed to do that, the only thing left to say is that he would wish for you to return it. That is his last wish.”

  As I spoke, her eyes watered. That died away when I declared his desire, hardening into an indignant scowl. “How dare you demand such from me,” she shouted. “How foolish of you to think it is true even. You have not seen him the way I have. His love for me died when he began pursuing mastery of magic. Those full moons when we would walk together vanished as he insisted on working of a ‘masterpiece.’ None of them lasted for long, none of them justified his leaving me. But even if you speak the truth and his love for me still existed, you cannot demand I love him again.”

  I noticed my own eyes glistening. “But don’t you see? I have seen many illusions made by him, any who has seen them would agree even the simplest among them were above the most elaborate of others’. What I saw, though it was as far as my home from being finished, I would say it truly was his masterpiece. Did it ever occur to you that when he showed you those others that they were really just lies to conceal what he was actually working on?”

  “I grow tired of your speculation, Midgardian,” she shouted, pushing everyone away from her. She tried to stare me down for a long time, but eventually she scanned over everyone else. “My purpose here has been served. I have no other reason to remain and argue with the likes of you.” She turned around and stormed back to Clafel.

  “Come back here, you liar,” I shouted and pursued, actual streams ran down my face. “Prove he was the one who lost love in you and not the other way. You say he was the one who abandoned you all those years ago, but I say you’re the one abandoning him now.”

  Kaihar caught me by the chest and stopped me from chasing her. “Let me go,” I screamed at him.

  He shook his head. “You have done your purpose, Erland. There is no more need to fight.”

  “Yes, there is,” I insisted. “She hasn’t yet honored Ahrad’s wish.”

  “Erland, please,” he said as he put a hand on my shoulder and cried. “If not to honor my friend’s name yourself, then to honor those who grieve for him.”

  As my own heavy breathing softened, sobs began to rise up. All the alfar had begun crying and wailing. Crying because I had forced open far too many wounds, I supposed. I was suddenly overwhelmed with sympathy and my own woes, and began to cry with them. The funeral went on, but it had a woeful chaos to it, like everyone was too hurried to get the deed finished to worry about finer details.

  That night, after Ahrad had been covered with stones and the visiting alfar had left, I lay down in my bed. For the first few hours, I was able to sleep, that tiredness that comes with mourning filling me up. Trouble staying asleep came after that. At first, I was dislodged by a surreal dream, something about getting a herd of sheep off a hill for some reason. After that, I just couldn’t fall asleep again, or I was asleep for mere minutes at a time. The stars were too bright for me to sleep under, or perhaps they were so bright because I was so tired.

  Maybe I was having trouble from all my stress and nighttime activities over the past few months. So much had been happening, and so much of it seemed to have been causing me to stay awake for even past dawn. Worrying about it now wouldn’t change anything.

  I pulled my blanket over my head in an attempt to block out the starlight. That worked, at least until the blanket was pulled back down. I rolled over to see what was the matter and the answer was staring back at me…One of the things that kept happening to me at night. Reokashothi was hovering over me, but she didn’t have her usual comically sadistic expression about her. In its stead was something much more malevolent and angry.

  “Why do you keep bothering me when I try to sleep?” I muttered while rolling over, trying to ignore her.

  “I don’t know, maybe the same reason you had to attack Yantha.”

  I groaned as I pressed a knot of blanket against my ear. “Not right now, Reo. Why can’t you get that men need to sleep?”

  “Just, just because—grah,” she huffed. “You’re thinking only about yourself now aren’t you? You don’t get you really hurt that lady?”

  Apparently, she’d reached the point now that she wouldn’t leave me be for a while, and I sat up. Even with my magical protection, the outside of the blanket was cold, so I bundled it around me as tightly as I could. “I was doing what I was told to do, make sure Ahrad’s wish came true. If she didn’t get that, then it’s her fault she’s angry at the world.”

  “No, you didn’t,” she said while shaking her head to get a lock of hair out of her eye. “Your ‘job’ was to say what he wanted and to then let everyone else try to get that done, not to force that very thing out of someone’s mouth. You, Erland, failed to do your task because you were so upset about your own losses to care if she couldn’t deal with them herself.”

  “You heard what she said, Reo. All her love for him was gone.”

  “And you demanded she get that back. Face it, Erland, you didn’t want to honor Ahrad’s wish. You saw her as someone who hated him and you wanted to make her suffer.” She paused to let that sink in, breathing heavily in the midst of it.

  Normally, I had come to find she did things like this to make herself laugh, but that definitely wasn’t here tonight. This just didn’t fit with how far she had gone before. Other times, she’d be content to just shove me in the mud and point at me. She almost seemed like she was holding my head under the puddle with her heel. She continued, “She isn’t the only alf you hurt either. All of the alf
ar at that wake were friends of Ahrad and Yantha, some were even there at that dance you spoke of. Do you really think it was easy for them to have you claw into that day like that?”

  “Please, just leave me alone, Reo,” I shouted. “This isn’t a good time for me to be arguing with you. I’m tired and can’t think straight.”

  “Oh? Is that so?” Some of a smirk peeked through that grimace of hers. “Sure as Helheim you could handle going off with Ahrad to raid that hall last month. How long were you gone for that anyway? A whole day as I recall.” She rubbed her chin. “Gee, and you didn’t sleep a wink in all that time either. You sure did keep your wits about you then. But oh, that’s right, you say you got cursed by Aegir in the midst of all that. Too afraid to go and even learn to use your god-given power because of it. Well, guess what? I think you’re just a lazy little laggard, looking for an excuse to get out of work. You bit off more than you can chew, and now you want everything soft and mushy. No curse to lose everything, no giant killing Ahrad, nothing but little pixies in your problem-puzzler.”

  There was the sting I was used to. And as usual, I wanted to get her away immediately. Talking to her wouldn’t do. I had already tried that and it only made her talk all the more. I couldn’t run away either; I was too tired for that. Then an idea came to mind and I got up to act upon it. I walked over to a tree and placed my hand against it to get some magic out of it.

  “Hey, just what are you trying to do?” Reokashothi asked.

  I didn’t answer her; there was no reason to. As I worked the magic, the tree bark smoldered and glowed. As it continued to smolder, it burst into flames and smoke filled the area.

  As I planned, Reo choked and gagged. “How dare you,” she screamed between coughs. “How dare you make a tree burn itself.” I just looked over at her and smiled the same way she did all those times before. She took a few steps back and then she ran as far away as she could from the smoke.

  When she was out of earshot, I laughed. “I’d really have thought she would have seen through that.” I willed the smoke away and it vanished with a glow light. “I wouldn’t really call it the most life-like illusion of smoke.”

  I moved back onto my bed, but I didn’t go back to sleep just yet. I continued to think about what she said. “Maybe she’s right. I have been using this curse as an excuse not to do anything. Like Alodia said to me this morning, maybe the foolishness Aegir was talking about was my own inaction. Aren’t I forgetting something? Aegir also mentioned that his servant would also be responsible. This servant must be found and destroyed then, to keep as many of them as safe as possible. No! That wouldn’t work. What if that’s the foolishness Aegir meant? That won’t be known until it’s done. Besides, what about my vow to Freyr to end this conflict? I have the power to do it, I just need to act on it. No doubt, the foolishness spoken of is to not follow through on that.” I paused the internal dialogue for a moment as I lay down and tucked myself in. “Then it is settled. For now, I shall rest. Tomorrow, I will hunt down that servant.”

  Chapter 9

  Fire in the Water

  There was still perhaps an hour’s amount of time that I lay in bed awake after my decision. Questions about what I would do to find this servant of Aegir, where I would look for him, and how I would even recognize him when I saw him circled about in my mind. But then was not the time to think about such things. Rather, tomorrow when I set out would be much better.

  Thus, I allowed the shroud of slumber to come over me. I awoke to being surrounded by frost and to the sight of a golden sunrise. All the hard feelings of yesterday were gone as the sun made the clouds over my head orange. In their place was conviction of what I was planning to do. I had to set out after that servant of Aegir and eliminate him. Never mind how or where, he would undoubtedly be in the direction of Elderbear and that was enough for now.

  I hopped out of the ship-bed, admiring how close the boat had progressed. Just a few months ago, it had been nothing but the deck and some of the mast. Now, as the trees it was grown from rose higher by the powers of magic, much of the bottom was also done. All that was left to do was to wait a day or two until that was done, chop it down, and set sail. A surge of gray wafted over my heart as I thought about that. I had no more than two days before the ship was ready to leave, but I wasn’t ready to leave. Aegir was still out there, and he wanted me to surrender. Finding and killing his servant surely wouldn’t stop that and abiding by my agreement with Freyr was far from different. For that moment, I felt it was wrong to be fighting against the Agrians. It wouldn’t spare me his wrath, only intensify it.

  I turned away from the ship. No, that wouldn’t matter at all. Aegir would never let me leave these shores. He only promised any mercy to me if I agreed to give up. I exhaled as I thought that over. I was already in Aegir’s clutches, being crushed by it ever slowly, I might as well take up a spear and poke him with it.

  The sun began to rise more and red streaked the sky. I scoffed. “Go on and make your threats, old giant. They won’t stop me from fighting against you.” Another thought entered my mind then. Should I tell Kaihar about what I was doing?

  That troubled me as I thought over just what he’d say at the suggestion. Just like every other time I’d gone out and acted on what I wanted to do, he would rebuke me, tell me how foolish this way was. Asking for his advice, or any of the alfar for that matter, would only end in me not being able to finally start acting on what Freyr told me to do. My decision was made. Kaihar was not as wise as Freyr, and Freyr has told me to do this. I grabbed my shields and then headed toward Elderbear.

  * * * *

  Hunger overcame me as I neared Agrian territory. At first, it wasn’t too bad, something I could overlook until I could find some food or steal it from the Agrians, but it wore on me. Walking was a surprisingly wearing activity when your stomach was growling; it made your entire gut start to ache over time. On top of all that, I was feeling generally weaker. My fingertips and nose were getting frigid and my nose was getting congested.

  I was starting to think that leaving without getting food was a bad idea.

  Most of the trees around me now were either chopped down or blanketed saplings, proof I was in Agrian lands but also proof there wasn’t too much food to forage for. Nevertheless, I went on to search for breakfast. I eventually found a squirrel that had evidently lost its home in the trees under a rock. Using the sharp end of my shield, I prepared it and used the magic from it to cook the squirrel.

  The warmth from the magic also warmed me, but it thawed my nose out, causing it to run. The cold finally got the better of me and a sneeze rushed out in a panic. A split second afterward, I heard another sneeze. “That’s funny,” I thought to myself, “I didn’t think that was loud enough to cause an echo.” There came a loud snort from behind me, a disgusting gurgle from a beast hiding within one of the few surviving firs of the area. “Perhaps a boar.” I slowly turned around and continued to eat the squirrel meat. I didn’t like the idea of what was hiding in that tree, though, and I remained externally calm as to not provoke it. After all, it might be closing in for the kill, especially if it was a boar. So I trained my ears to hear backward, being vigilant to the slightest sound of rustling branches or footsteps.

  As I thought of it, however, it didn’t really seem like this would be a wild boar. From what I knew of them, they preferred to eat smaller animals and roots, something that it wouldn’t have very much of if it was still around here. If it really was after me, it would be because it was desperately hungry, meaning it wouldn’t be so worried about stealth. Whatever this was, it was either some sort of cat or maybe an Agrian that thought it had the drop on me…Or maybe it was a combination of the three.

  What if the Agrians figured out how to train boars to act as guard animals? Not only teaching them to sneak up on their prey, but to give a loud squeal when they pounced the intruder. The very thought of it made me chuckle. Could you imagine what a pig would look like walkin
g around like a wildcat? Would it nap most of the day high in a tree branch and sneak up to bird’s nests when it was hungry? What on earth would a hairball from one of those look like? The very idea of it grooming itself amused me. All in all, it didn’t seem very likely, but I also didn’t really put it past them to come up with something that ridiculous.

  Footsteps crunching down on snow came from behind. In one spastic motion, I spun around and held the left shield offensively and the other defensively, the comical thought passing away.

  As it turned out, none of my guesses were right. Kaihar was the one on my tail. I looked down at the edge of my shield and quickly pulled it away from my teacher. “What are you doing here?”

  “Keeping watch over you.” He gave a snort, one that was remarkably like that one back in the fir. This was the first time I saw an alf with a runny nose, or any sign of sickness at that. Of course, I wasn’t very concerned with that at the moment, as I was bracing myself for my instructor’s wrath.