Sherrilyn: Saving Gideon (Angel Chronicles)

by Mary May

  “Baby, don’t. Your face is bandaged, as well as your hands and legs. You are in pretty bad shape, but you’re alive! The doctors all say that it’s a miracle that you survived at all.” Sherrilyn was silent, and then a minute later her eyes slid closed as sleep pulled her back under.

  As the days passed, Sherrilyn was able to stay awake for longer and longer stretches of time. It was nearly a week later before she asked Kendall about Lonnie.

  “Lonnie… didn’t survive the fire. The fire marshal found his body four days after the fire was put out. They say that he died from blunt force trauma and that He was dead before the fire ever reached him. Do you remember what might have happened?” Kendall watched as Sherrilyn’s sightless eyes stared upward at the ceiling. Finally she answered.

  “Do I know what happened to Lonnie? I have no idea. After he set me on fire I wasn’t exactly paying attention to him any longer.” She didn’t even try to disguise the bitterness in her voice.

  Sherrilyn’s doctor, Dr. Gellar, stepped closer to her bed, “Mrs. Foster, do you remember what your friend told you about your eyes?”

  “I’m blind; isn’t that what she said?”

  “Well, yes. But I wondered if you had any questions about your injuries. I could explain what happened.”

  “Will explaining give me my sight back?” Sherrilyn asked.

  “I’m afraid not, but sometimes it helps if you understand why,” the doctor explained.

  Sherrilyn laughed a short bitter laugh. “I understand why. I understand more than you ever could. What else is wrong with me? What else haven’t you told me?”

  Kendall gave Dr. Gellar a questioning look. He nodded his head, giving her the go ahead to tell Sherrilyn what she asked for.

  Pulling a chair up close to Sherrilyn’s bed, Kendall sat down then went over the list of injuries on her charts. Sherrilyn listened without really saying anything or expressing any emotions. Kendall paused before telling her about being paralyzed. Picking up on the pause, Sherrilyn rolled her head toward her.

  “You might as well tell me. I’m going to find out sooner or later. There’s no point in stalling.”

  When Kendall remained silent, Sherrilyn spoke again. “Look, I want to know everything now. I don’t want there to be any surprises later on. I need to know exactly what I’m going to be facing.”

  “Ok, sweetheart, I just didn’t want to put too much on you today. The doctors fear that with your spinal injuries you may be paralyzed. They said they wouldn’t know where or to what degree until after you woke up.”

  “Is that true, doctor? Do you need me to try and move something?”

  Dr. Gellar stepped closer to her bed before responding. “We don’t have to do this today, Mrs. Foster. We can wait until you’re stronger.”

  Sherrilyn ignored him, responding by slowly lifting her right arm then her left arm. After a couple of minutes, she spoke again. “Did my legs move?”

  Kendall glanced at the doctor, who shook his head. “No, honey. We didn’t see them move. Why don’t you try again, and we will watch again.”

  After a couple of minutes and no movements from either leg, Kendall patted Sherrilyn’s hand gently.

  “It’s going to be alright, Sherry. We will deal with everything together one day at a time. Are you in any pain right now?” she asked.

  “Nothing that medications will help. I just want to be alone.” Kendall set the nurse call button next to her hand after telling her where it was.

  “I will come back tomorrow, unless you need me sooner.”

  Sherrilyn didn’t respond. She simply shut her eyes and faced the wall.

  Chapter 6

  Sherrilyn listened as both the doctor and Kendall left her room. Once the door had closed, she opened her eyes. Not that it made any difference. Her world remained dark. Tears welled up and slowly trickled down, soaking into the bandages covering her face. Why would anyone do something like this to another human being? It was beyond her comprehension. She knew Lonnie didn’t love her anymore, but did he truly hate her this much? Was Darah Simone so important to him that he could burn her alive? Another bitter laugh escaped. “Clearly she was.” she mumbled to herself. She felt drained both physically and emotionally, not to mention terrified. Her entire world was changed forever. Finding out the true extent of her injuries had devastated her. She didn’t know how she felt about Lonnie’s death. For all of his shortcomings, he was really the only family she had. After her daddy had passed, she lost track of Devon. The last she heard, he was back in another military boot camp. So here she was, alone and so damaged that she would be incapable of caring for herself. The future that once held so much promise now stretched before her like an endless black void.

  “Why didn’t you just let me die?” she whispered to the deity who seemed to have failed her.

  “He didn’t let you die because you have a reason yet to live.” The calm feminine voice came from the end of her bed.

  “Who’s there? I didn’t hear anyone come in,” Sherrilyn asked as she cocked her head toward the voice.

  The voice laughed softly. It was pleasant, like a tinkling of wind chimes, “Well, now, I can’t help what you hear or don’t hear. I will tell you this. As you become more accustomed to the loss of your sight, your hearing will increase a great deal. Why, before long an ant won’t be able to crawl across your floor without you hearing it.”

  Sherrilyn rolled her eyes. “Wonderful, just what I always wanted to hear…ants walking.” She then felt her covers being pulled and smoothed out, so she guessed the woman must be a nurse.

  “In time, Sherrilyn, you will come to terms with the loss of everything. In time you will even be able to laugh again and find the joy that you used to have.”

  “I will never understand why this happened! I will never understand how Lonnie could do this to me.” Although she meant her words with her entire heart, they came out barely above a whisper. A warm hand was placed softly on her shoulder. Sherrilyn could feel tingling warmth from the touch.

  “I didn’t say you would understand; I said you would come to terms with it. God has not forsaken or forgotten you. He hears your every prayer and feels your pain. Trust Him, Sherrilyn. Trust Him to see you through this.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one covered in bandages and burns. You’re not the one who can no longer see or walk. I did pray to God to help me and look at me! Does it look like He heard me? Does it look like He answered my prayers? I’m done with God. I want you to leave now and take your God with you.”

  Sherrilyn never heard the door open or close but suddenly she knew she was alone in the room. Her heart thumped in her chest, filled with overwhelming hurt and anger. It was far worse than the pain from her injuries. She could ask for something to take that away, but nothing could ease the pain of her heart.

  Kendall came every day like she promised. As the days and weeks passed, Sherrilyn grew more and more bitter and harder to deal with. Ugly hateful words spewed from her mouth, making it difficult to even tend to her wounds. The days when she had to have her burns scrubbed were the worst. Hearing Sherrilyn scream out in pain, begging them to stop, had Kendall covering her ears on more than one occasion.

  One day Kendall stopped before opening Sherrilyn’s door to pray. “Father, please… heal your child’s broken spirit. Only You can heal the hurt and the rage that fills her heart. Give me patience, Lord, and understanding. Let Your love flow through me. Help me be Your hands to hold and comfort her. Let my mouth speak Your words to her broken heart.” Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door.

  “Good morning, Sherrilyn.” She braced for the scathing remark that usually came her way, but this time she was met with an eerie silence. Quickly walking over to the bed, she panicked when she saw the blood soaking the covers and starting to drip on the floor. It took her just a second to find the source. A long gaping cut had been crudely cut into Sherrilyn’s right arm. Grabbing the call button, she pressed it severa
l times while wrapping her arm in a towel.

  “Oh! Sherrilyn, what did you do?” Sherrilyn mumbled something but she was so weak from the blood loss that her words were just barely a whisper. The door swung open, and when Sherrilyn’s nurse saw what happened, she stuck her head back out and yelled for help.

  “How did she get a knife? She is blind, for crying out loud!” Kendall asked the nurse as she was helping her to hold pressure on Sherrilyn’s arm.

  “There’s no telling. When they want to leave this world badly enough, they will get very creative and resourceful. Hopefully you found her in time. I was just in here less than thirty minutes ago. She must have done it right after I left.” More nurses followed by the doctor came in. They had her stitched up within minutes and Dr. Gellar shook his head at the damage that Sherrilyn had inflicted upon herself.

  “If she had just a little more strength in her left hand, she would have succeeded. As it is, she will still need a blood transfusion.” He patted Kendall gently on the back. “It’s a good thing you’re such a loyal friend. Another few minutes and there wouldn’t have been anything we could have done.”

  “I have a feeling that she won’t feel that way. I wish I could get through to her somehow. Show her that her life is still worth living.”

  When Sherrilyn woke up, she knew that her wish for death had been denied to her. Lying there, she felt what was left of her heart crumble into a million pieces. She had no way out. Oh, she could try to kill herself again, but she already knew she would fail. For whatever reason, the man upstairs wasn’t allowing her home yet. Finally she reached rock bottom.

  “Fine, God, You win. If You won’t let me die, then why do You want me to live? What could I possibly have that You want to use?”

  From somewhere she heard a soft voice reply, “Now we are getting somewhere.”

  Suddenly the air was filled with a sweet fragrance, like the scent of a million roses in full bloom. A cool breeze seemed to flow right over her and through her, filling and cleansing her lungs with clean crisp air. Soft singing with a beautiful unearthly melody could be heard. Sherrilyn gasped as a feeling of love unlike anything she had ever known swept through her.

  “Oh, God, I feel You! I know You are here with me right now. Please help me…Take the pain…I can’t carry it any longer.” Sobbing so deeply she didn’t even make a sound, the God who never left her and who had loved her from the very beginning started to mend her shattered heart.

  For the rest of the night the angels stayed with her, softly singing songs of praise and worship. She couldn’t understand the words when they sang, for they spoke in their heavenly language, but she understood the meaning. They would speak to her of God’s love, repeating often that she would live and not die. Sherrilyn could feel the pieces of her heart slowly mending together as all the pain and bitterness was swept away. Taking a deep breath, she felt like she could breathe freely for the first time in her life. It seemed to go all the way to her soul!

  Tagin lifted his hands in praise as he felt the power of God fill the room. He might not be able to see the angels that came to minister to Sherrilyn, but he could feel the love and peace they brought with them. He saw the moment that her heart surrendered to her Creator, when the dark cloud of bitterness that had been surrounding her exploded. Golden ribbons of love drifted down from above, swirling and dancing over her bed, lifting her burdens and sweeping clean her soul.

  The next morning Kendall tapped on the door and was surprised to hear a cheery voice tell her to come in. Expecting Sherrilyn to have a visitor, she was once more surprised to find her alone sitting up in her bed with an actual smile on her face.

  “Sherrilyn?” Kendall couldn’t keep the shock out of her voice. When the smile on the other woman’s face grew even bigger, she knew that a miracle had occurred.

  “Good morning, isn’t it a beautiful day?”

  Glancing at the window where the cold rain was falling in buckets, Kendall laughed. “Well, sure, if you enjoy rain. It’s a gorgeous day.”

  “I love the rain. It just washes everything clean. Don’t you think?” Sherrilyn’s voice was still weak and raspy, but there was a spark that had been missing for so long.

  “Honey, you sound so much better. Are you feeling better today?” Kendall was hesitant about prying too much.

  Nodding her head, Sherrilyn placed her hand over her heart, “Kendall…I had the most wonderful thing happen last night. It’s so incredible that you will probably think I’m making it up.”

  Scooting a chair closer to her bed, Kendall took her hand gently into her own. “Please, can you share it with me? I promise I won’t think you’re making it up. It’s easy to see that something wonderful happened.”

  Nodding her head, Sherrilyn told her what happened. “I had absolutely hit rock bottom. I felt like I was in a deep dark hole with no way out. It was almost like being buried alive. I was a good person and I tried to be a good wife to Lonnie, at least at first. But nothing I did was right. He was so mean and hurtful to me for no other reason than he could be.” Pausing, she wiped her face with her left hand. Kendall jumped up and found some Kleenex for her.

  Smiling her thanks, she dried her face before continuing. “I really felt like dying was the only way out and it was the one thing I thought I had some control over. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take any more disappointment. There wasn’t a part anywhere that didn’t hurt, both inside and out. So when I woke up and realized that God wasn’t going to let me have my way, I gave up.”

  “What do you mean you gave up? Gave up what?” Kendall questioned.

  “I gave up fighting God. I finally stopped asking why He wouldn’t let me die and started asking why He wanted me to live. I finally asked Him to help me, to take the pain and the hurt away. I couldn’t carry it any longer and do you know what He did?”

  Rolling her head toward Kendall, she waited for her to reply.

  “What? What did He do, Sherrilyn?” Kendall whispered.

  Not able to contain her joy, a laugh bubbled up from her brand new restored heart. “He took it! He took every last bit of it away! I cannot tell you how much better I feel. I feel lighter somehow, like I just might float up to the ceiling. Peace…peace unlike anything I have ever felt fills my heart and soul. I’m not alone…no matter what happens from here on out, I know I’m not alone. The most amazing part is all I had to do was ask! He was right there just waiting to help me, waiting to give me His gift of peace and love and a brand new life.”

  Kendall wiped tears from her own eyes as she listened to Sherrilyn’s remarkable story, “Sherry…sweetheart, that’s the most beautiful thing I have heard in a very long time. I have been praying and praying for you. I knew you were so lost inside. But He found you…He found you and brought you back!” Reaching over, she embraced her in a tight hug, being careful of her still-healing wounds. The women held on to one another, both crying tears of joy at the miraculous healing that was just beginning to take place in Sherrilyn’s life.

  Chapter 7

  Over the course of the next few weeks the change in Sherrilyn was the talk of the entire hospital. The difference was truly remarkable. Gone was the scowling woman that snapped at every given opportunity. Now she was smiling and gracious, thankful to everyone who came in to treat her. Even when she had the dead skin scrubbed off, she stayed polite, even though she was in terrible pain. The last time that was done, she had cursed out everyone in the room and their families all the way down to their pets. This time she closed her eyes and prayed throughout the procedure. One day one of Sherrilyn’s regular nurses named Jenny asked if she could bring in another patient, named Marley, to talk to her. The young woman had an experience very similar to Sherrilyn’s. When she agreed to talk to her, Jenny brought her in to visit with Sherrilyn later that afternoon.

  Sherrilyn smiled when she heard the door open. She knew this had to be the young woman Jenny asked her to speak to. Her heart broke for her. If anyone knew what
it felt like to be betrayed by the very one that vowed to love and cherish you forever, it was her.

  “Hi, my name is Sherrilyn, but you can call me Sherry if you want to.” Holding out her hand, she waited for the other woman to take it. When she didn’t, she dropped it back into her lap. “What’s your name, honey?” She already knew; she was just offering the young lady a chance to tell her.

  “Marley,” came the soft reply.

  Sherrilyn knew the woman was studying her. Looking at her burns and scars. She didn’t mind. She understood they must be pretty horrifying. “My husband did this to me. He wanted a divorce so he could marry his girlfriend. I thought I was protecting her by denying him the divorce.”

  “Why would you want to protect the woman that stole your man?”

  Sherrilyn laughed softly at Marley’s question. “Seems crazy, don’t it? But you know, I don’t think Lonnie ever truly belonged to me. I was his; he made no bones about that, but looking back on it now, I don’t believe that road ever went both ways. To answer your question, I think I saw her as I was when I first met him, young, innocent and with no clue about what I was getting myself into. I have since found out that young does not always mean innocent. Darah was so much more world-wise at her young age than I am even now, I think. At least she thought she was, but she really didn’t have any idea about Lonnie and what he was truly capable of. I didn’t wish him on any woman, not even the one he was cheating on me with.”

  She paused to give Marley a chance to ask her anything. When she didn’t, she asked a question of her own. “Is that what happened to you? Did your man hurt you?”

  There was a long silence before she answered. “Yeah. Emmett was real jealous of me. I couldn’t go anywhere or have any friends. He was so sweet in the beginning, but then it was like he turned into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I never knew which one I was going to get. He didn’t start out beating on me. I guess maybe he knew that I wouldn’t tolerate that, at least not at first. It was like he needed to degrade me, beat me down emotionally until I was weak enough to accept his fist.”