FOURTEEN
ALEAH
I can hardly open my eyes, when I wake up. They are swollen shut from all the sobbing I did last night. I force them open and will myself to get up. I have shed enough tears over Aiden for the last couple of days. It’s time for me to get back to life.
I make my way around the bed to get to the bathroom and my eyes catch my shattered phone on the floor. The scene stops me in my tracks as my mind travels back to the last couple of days and what lead to the shattered phone. As soon as it does, Aiden’s words to his sister echo in my head for the hundred time, like a broken record. Each time I remember those words, the pain that slices through my heart is as fresh as the first time I heard them.
How could he say that after the weekend we just had? Even if it was just a front for his family, I still can’t forgive him. If he cared as much for me as he claimed, wouldn’t he stand up to them? And why oh, why hadn’t he said a word about us to his sister? I know he talks to his sister often and he claims to care so much about her. If he’s that close to her, why wouldn’t he tell her? And if he’s that comfortable lying to a sister he claims he loves so much, then how can I trust anything he tells me?
As hurtful as these questions are, I wish they were my only worries at the moment. It’s been almost two days since Aiden left and I haven’t heard a single word from him. He said he would call me after he passes the security check, but not only did he not call then, he didn’t bother calling from Frankfurt or New Delhie.
Even though I was really mad at him, I stayed up waiting for his call the day he left. When I fell asleep it was with my phone in my hand. But I didn’t hear any phone calls. In the morning when I woke up, I saw a couple of missed calls from a weird phone number, but no voicemails. I dialed back the number immediately, but no one picked up. My mind traveled to a million different directions as to what that phone call could have been about, but I couldn’t figure anything out. All I knew was that if it was Aiden, he would have left a voicemail.
He’s been in India now for over fifteen hours and I still haven’t heard from him. I know he’s made it there, because after going crazy with worry last night, I finally called Lou begging him to check with the Foundation. Lou got back to me in less than an hour, letting me know that Jonathan’s boss has received an email from him, informing him that they got there okay.
That was when I couldn’t control the rage that surged through my body. I threw my phone across the room in a fit of fury I have never experienced before in my life. The phone hit the wall in full force, shattering on impact and falling into pieces. And I sat there stunned at the fury that caused me to do something so uncharacteristic.
The idea that Aiden could just move away and discard me like that shatters my heart and slices me into pieces. Questions start circling my head as to the sincerity of his words and actions. Could it be that this was all a front to get me to sleep with him? Was what he told his mom the first time around true then? Did he just want to get that kink out of his system? Why else would he leave and not bother to contact me in over two days after the weekend we shared together?
The doubts and insecurities hurt more than I thought possible. With everything I’ve been through I thought I was familiar with pain, but nothing I have ever experienced compares to the unbearable ache I feel in my chest.
I walk up to my phone and reluctantly pick it from the floor. The screen is shattered and the back has come off. I find the battery in a corner and put it back in, hoping to see the phone come to life. When it refuses to turn on, I throw it on the bed and walk to the bathroom to get ready. No matter how terrible I feel, I have to get to school today. I can’t miss another day of classes. I have to go out there and take care of me and my life.
I make it to class on time and say a silent prayer that Justin doesn’t try to talk to me today. Since he found out I‘m dating Aiden, our interactions have become very limited. We still do our lab work together since we’re partners, but he tries to keep his distance. And I’m more than happy to let him, especially since Aiden doesn’t like me hanging out with him.
I hope that today will be no different, since I am not in a mood to talk to anyone. But as soon as I step close to the class door, I realize my prayers have been in vain, as I run right into Justin’s arms.
“Whoa! Watch out,” he spits out as he takes a step back.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“I can tell,” he says with a serious face. But as soon as he sees my face, his expression changes.
“Are you okay? You don’t look well. And I noticed you missed classes the last couple of days.”
“I’m fine. I just had a little bug,” I lie. “But you should probably stay away from me just in case. It could be contagious.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry about me. I never get sick.”
I pray silently that he’ll sit somewhere else, but he follows closely in my footsteps and takes a seat in the chair next to me as soon as I sit down.
I try to keep my eyes on the professor throughout the entire class, but I can see from the corner of my eye that Justin keeps looking in my direction. Even though I keep my eyes focused on the professor, my mind is anywhere but in this class. My heart still aches with thoughts of Aiden, as my brain tirelessly tries to decipher what could have caused this silence treatment from him.
The class drags on forever for me, and as soon as it’s over I jump up from my seat and try to make a hasty exit. To my dismay, Justin follows me out. We walk quietly for a few minutes to our next class, before he breaks the silence.
“Something’s bothering you. I could tell during the whole class your mind was not there. What’s going on? Is everything okay with your hunk of a boyfriend?”
“Hunk of a boyfriend?”
“What? You don’t like me calling him a hunk? Would you prefer rich bastard?”
“Watch it Justin,” I say in a raised voice. Even though I am mad at Aiden and don’t even know if we still have anything at this point, Justin’s insult ticks me off.
He puts his hands up quickly in surrender.
“Sorry. I was just joking... Touchy subject, huh? Is everything okay with him?”
I don’t know how to answer that without breaking down, so I just nod my head and look away.
“That’s what’s bothering you? Isn’t? I knew he would end up hurting you. What did he do, Aleah? Do I need to kick someone’s butt?”
Even though I don’t like that he made assumptions about Aiden, his protectiveness still warms my heart and makes me smile.
“No, you don’t need to kick anyone’s butt. We’re fine. He’s just traveling for work for the next few months, so I won’t be seeing him very often.”
“Are you sure that’s all?” he questions, while studying my face closely. I feel like he’s seeing right through my façade, and feel forced to admit at least part of the problem to him.
“I’m worried about him. He left on Monday for India and I haven’t heard anything from him yet. He got an international cell phone plan before he left so he could call from anywhere he goes, but I haven’t heard a single word from him, not even a text or an email… And I’m freaking out.”
“I’m sure he’s okay, Aleah. Have you checked the status of his flight to see if it landed on time? There could have been a delay somewhere.”
“I checked. The plane got there on time.” I don’t tell Justin that I also know for a fact that Aiden got there.
“Then, I’m sure he’s fine. A million things could happen in an international flight that long. He could have lost his phone. Or he could have called you and not been able to get through. There probably is like a crazy time difference between here and there too. Have you checked your voicemails?”
His question reminds me of my shattered phone which is now buried in my backpack, making me realize that my phone’s been dead for about twelve hours now. Aiden has most probably called by now and I’m sitting here making myself worried sick over not
hing. I thank Justin for reminding me to get my phone fixed, before remembering that I have to wait till this afternoon when classes are over to do that.
The day drags on forever, before I can finally make it to the store to get a new phone. I pick up the same style that I had before, hoping that I can get to my voicemails quickly. But it takes forever for the technicians to be able to power on my old phone and get all my files and information transferred to the new one. By the time, I have my new phone in my hand and ready to use, it’s late afternoon.
I walk quickly to my car before I take a look at the screen to see if I have any messages. I need the privacy of my car before I can handle what may await me. Once I’m safely inside my car, I take a shaky breath and use my trembling fingers to turn the screen on. I notice I have three new voicemails, all from a weird international number. I hit the call button before my nerves overtake me. Aiden’s voice fills my ears and flows right through to my heart.
Hey baby. I guess you’re sleeping. I’m so happy to finally get through to your phone and at least get your voicemail. You don’t know how good it is to hear your voice even if it’s from voicemail greeting. I miss you like crazy, baby. I’ve had the most horrible forty eight hours. I left my phone in the plane and have been running around like crazy trying to get in touch with you ever since… The apartment we’re staying at here doesn’t have a phone line. I have to come to the first floor to use the phone at the landlord’s house. I was finally able to get a phone card today so I can call you, but since I have to come to their house, I can’t call you anytime I want… And this time difference sucks… I just want to hear your voice… I’ll try calling in a couple of hours. Hopefully you’ll be up by then. I love you, baby.
I sit there motionless as his message ends, and try not to pay too much attention to my racing heart. Instead, I play the next voicemail.
Hey, babe. According to my calculations, it’s eight in the morning your time, but your phone is still off. Hope everything’s okay. I was hoping to catch you before you leave for your classes… but I guess that’s not going to happen. I’ll try to call again in a couple of hours. Love you.
I save his voicemail and the next one plays immediately.
It’s me again. I’m starting to get really worried about you. Your phone is still off and I can’t call you anymore tonight since it’s getting late and I can’t come down to the landlord’s house any later than this. I hate this... This place doesn’t even have internet connection, so I can’t even email you… But please send me an email, baby. I’ll check it first thing in the morning tomorrow. I have to walk fifteen minutes to get to an internet café, but I’ll do that as soon as they open. Please drop me a line to let me know you’re okay and when is the best time for me to call. I’m dying to talk to you, baby.
I hit the end button after that voicemail and just sit there motionless. I should be happy. He’s safe and he has a good reason for not calling me sooner. He also already confirmed that he loves and misses me. But as I analyze my feelings closely, I realize that I don’t feel the least bit happy. I’m relieved to hear that he’s okay, but I’m not even remotely as excited to hear his voice as I thought I would be.
Instead of reassuring me, his declarations of love remind me of what he told his sister. I find myself questioning whether his excuses for not calling me are true or more lies. Doubts and insecurities creep their way into my brain and slowly take over my mind. The more I think about it, the less I feel inclined to believe him.
Even if he’s telling the truth, it doesn’t change the fact that he lied to his sister, or that he didn’t tell her about us. Nothing changes the reality that our worlds are so far apart that Aiden is embarrassed or afraid to tell his family about our relationship. And that hurts deeply.
I think about his request for me to email him, but realize that I have nothing to say to him right now. I decide that I have to think this through and make some decisions before I can tell him anything.
FIFTEEN
AIDEN
I get through another sleepless night. It’s been almost four days since I left L.A. and I am yet to be able to get in touch with Aleah. The fact that this place doesn’t have internet access or a working phone makes me feel crippled. It’s like I’m completely cut off from the world and absolutely powerless to be in control of my life. And if I’m honest with myself, by my life I mean Aleah, because she has become my life.
I never knew one person could mean so much to me. I never even imagined that the idea of losing one woman would be so devastating. The realization that in such a short period of time, Aleah has become such an integral part of my life is as exciting as it is terrifying. It’s exciting because I can’t think of a better woman to share my life with. But as I lie here wondering what is going on in her mind thousands of miles away, knowing that she’s become my life and I might have already lost her is beyond frightening.
The thought makes me sit up in bed instantly, as the gravity of the situation hits me. I have a bad feeling about this. I can sense that she’s being pulled away from me, and all I know is that I can’t lose her. No matter how far the distance or how impossible the circumstances may be, I have to do something to remind her what she means to me. To make her see what we are together.
I start heading to the shower as an idea takes shape in my mind. I just hope that I can find an internet café fast enough to put this in place before I have to start another day of work at the Foundation.
The driver rings the bell to let us know he’s here to pick us up and I immediately head downstairs to the car. Even though I’m still a little anxious and a lot uneasy about the situation with Aleah, I feel a little better than I did this morning. If I know Aleah as well as I think I do, she wouldn’t be immune to what I’ve planned for her.
When I checked my email this morning and didn’t see any emails from her, my heart sank. I have no doubt that she has gotten my voicemails by now. The fact that she didn’t email me, even though I specifically asked her to do so, confirms my deepest fears that she’s reconsidering her relationship with me. I could have called her again this morning, but I was too afraid that she wouldn’t pick up the phone, and wasn’t sure my heart could handle that. So I decided to wait until tonight before calling her. I just pray to God that my plan works.
SIXTEEN
ALEAH
When I get to the lobby of my building, the attendant tells me I had a delivery that he sent up. That puzzles me. I know I haven’t ordered anything online recently and I’m not expecting any packages from anyone. I get in the elevator and anxiously wait to get to my floor. As soon as the elevator doors open, I can see what’s in front of my door, and I know immediately who it’s from.
There is a beautiful glass vase containing a large bouquet of violet peonies in front of my door. I walk nervously up to the flowers and take a deep breath, before bending down to grab the card. I know I should be excited that he’s sent me flowers, but instead I feel nervous. I need time and space to evaluate our situation logically, and Aiden’s constant messages and gestures are already convoluting my mind.
I close my eyes for a few seconds and release a deep sigh, before I open the card. I’m surprised to see that it’s only a couple of sentences. I expected a long explanation or an apology, but what he’s written affects me more than any long explanation could.
Violet peonies for you, because you Vivify everything that is good in my life and I Vow to always love you.
With all my love! Aiden
I stare at the card blankly for a few minutes, trying to decipher the meaning behind it. It is clear Aiden is trying or remind me of how much he cares for me, but I can’t help but feel there is another reason behind picking this particular color and word choice.
The card intrigues me and makes me miss him fiercely. It makes me miss everything about him; his breathtaking declarations of love, his tender touch, his dirty talk, and his bright smile. There is so much I miss about him.
The realization m
akes me recognize how empty my life feels in his absence. But as I make my way inside the penthouse, I can’t help but question if he feels as strongly about me as I do about him. And if he does, would that be enough to overcome all of the hurdles that his family and society would throw at us? Would our love be powerful enough to help us get over all of the troubles that we will inevitably face?
I’m still confused and upset as I go to class the next morning. I expected Aiden to call me last night, but he never did. I told myself that it is for the best, since I still don’t really know what to tell him, but deep inside I can’t help but be upset. Justin spots me in class and by the look in his eyes; I know he can tell I’m still upset. He takes the seat next me, and starts making small talk. To my relief, he doesn’t ask any questions and doesn’t comment on my mood.
A few minutes into the class, I feel my phone vibrate in my purse. I reach for it quickly. As soon as I see the strange international number, I jump up and leave the class. I hit the talk button even before I reach the door.
When I’m finally outside in the hallway, I take a shaky breath and speak into the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi, baby. It’s so good to hear your voice. You have no idea how good hearing that hello felt.”
“It’s…it’s good to finally talk to you too,” I say reluctantly. Aiden picks up on the tone of my voice immediately.
“You’re still upset at me.” His statement is not a question. It’s clear he already recognizes that I’m far from being over what happened.
“I’m not upset. I’m just…confused.”
“What are you confused about? I love you. You’re it for me. And I’m so, so sorry about what you heard me tell my sister. Believe me it was the last thing I wanted to say. But I was in a very bad situation. That was not the right time and place to explain things to them. I just said something to get me out of the situation for the moment.”
Redeeming Love (Resilient Hearts #2) Page 12