Keeping an eye out for the British Gas van, she darted to the corner shop at the end of the road to buy eggs and milk. She came back via Javier’s, took a deep breath and rang the bell. She waited anxiously but there was no answer. Somewhat relieved, she rummaged in her bag for a pen and paper, scribbled a thank-you note and propped the crutch against the doorframe. She turned around just as the British Gas van pulled up. Several hours later, much to her relief despite the vast expense, the boiler was repaired, hot water was flowing from the taps once again and the central heating was cranking and groaning back into life.
Realising she was now free for the rest of the day, Tasha called Emily to give her the afternoon off. She nipped into Putney to buy a couple more presents for Flora’s birthday, making it to the school gates just in time for pickup. It was actually lovely to have the chance to greet the children as they came into the playground; the fact that it was a novelty rather than a daily occurrence changed it into more of a treat for Tasha. She really was glad that she had gone back to work. It was making a big difference to her mental state. She found she looked forward to the time she spent at home with the children at the end of the day, just as she looked forward to her time away from the home and housework when she was at work. She thought back to what Javier had said about the power of change and realised how right he had been. A change really was as good as a rest.
*
Flora’s birthday dawned clear but freezing cold, appropriate weather for ice-skating. Tasha was definitely not a natural skater. It seemed to her that trying to balance oneself on two thin metal blades defied the laws of physics.
She shrieked as she stepped onto the rink. As always, she had been the last to get her skates on, having fastened everyone else’s for them before starting to do her own. ‘Come on, Mum!’ Flora laughed, skating over to take her hand, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
Max was also completely fearless, pushing straight off from the wall and zigzagging his way into the centre of the rink. If he fell down he just stood straight back up again, his low centre of gravity serving him well. Charlie was making his way around the edge with Bella, who always needed some time to gain confidence before letting go of the wall. She probably took after Tasha in terms of ice-skating ability, while Flora and Max were as co-ordinated as their father.
‘I’m so wobbly!’ Tasha shrieked, clutching onto Flora for dear life.
‘It’s so fun, isn’t it?’ Flora was beaming. ‘I love it!’
Tasha wasn’t so sure. She skated slowly around the rink with Flora as her guide, keeping a close eye on Max as he skidded about.
After a while her ankle began to throb so Flora skated her back over to the side. Tasha clambered over to a bench to sit down and remove her boots, happy to watch the rest of her family enjoying themselves. By now Bella was much more confident. Charlie was teaching Flora and Max how to skate backwards. God only knew how Charlie could skate so well. He had never been taught. It was the kind of thing that just came naturally to him.
When the children had finally run out of steam they went to the American-style diner that was attached to the rink and ordered chicken nuggets and chips. Tasha produced the perfectly iced netball from the enormous cake box she had brought with her, much to Flora and the children’s delight, and they ate cake for pudding before going back to Charlie’s for a sleepover. Tasha made her own way home, trying not to feel too upset at the thought of missing yet more precious birthday time with her children.
As she got back she noticed that the lights were on in Javier’s house and she wondered if he was home alone. A tiny part of her was tempted to knock on the door, knowing that he was in and would offer her company. She was so lonely; she missed Charlie so desperately. But she wasn’t in the mood to fight off any advances. She knew perfectly well that if there was even the tiniest shred of hope that Charlie might forgive her and come home, she had to cling to it. If she were to go anywhere near Javier, then she would be stamping out that flicker of hope for good. And there was no way she could do that.
Chapter Forty-two
‘Our house has been like a sick bay this week,’ Flo moaned as she sat at the kitchen table bunged up with cold. Her nose was bright red and she looked rather peaky. ‘All the kids were off school on Monday.’
‘Eurgh! I’m not surprised you’ve caught it, then.’
‘I think I’ve passed the contagious stage now,’ she added, aware that Tasha was probably keen to reach for her Dettol.
‘I’m glad to hear it!’ Tasha laughed.
‘The kids are all back at school but my house still absolutely stinks of Olbas Oil. I’ve had them all doing inhalations morning and night!’
‘And salt gargles?’
‘Oh, yes. That’s how I can tell if they’re really feeling ill. If they’ll agree to a salt gargle it’s definitely genuine.’
‘Sounds like you’re through the worst of it? It’s definitely doing the rounds. Bella has had a bit of a cold this week and apparently the school is rife with it.’
‘Better than the v and d of last winter…’
‘Don’t remind me!’ Tasha balked at the memories.
‘Though there’s still time for that, I guess.’
‘Right, that settles it! I’m going to the chemist tomorrow to stock up on Vitamin C and echinacea.’
‘Good idea. I might do the same.’
Tasha had invited Flo over to make up for missing their weekly post-Pilates catch-ups. She felt as though they hadn’t seen each other for ages. When they had finished the pizzas that Tasha had picked up on the way home from work, and most of a bottle of wine, declared by Flo to be ‘purely medicinal’, Flo brought up the separation. Tasha filled her in on the latest developments. ‘I’ve developed a strange paranoia that he might be seeing someone,’ she admitted.
An uncomfortable look flickered across Flo’s face, instantly fanning the flames of Tasha’s suspicion. ‘What is it?’ Tasha asked, immediately on high alert. ‘Do you know something?’ Mark and Charlie worked for the same company, albeit in completely different departments. It had been through Mark that Charlie had heard about the job in the first place.
Flo looked torn. Tasha’s heart rate quickened.
‘Tell me if you do,’ Tasha implored. ‘I’d much rather know.’
Flo sniffed and took another tissue from the box beside her. She blew her nose. ‘Sorry. I didn’t know whether I should say anything. It could easily just be gossip…’
‘Come on, Flo,’ Tasha pleaded, desperate to hear whatever it was Flo was hiding from her.
‘Are you sure? You might not like it…’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Well, Mark heard through the grapevine that Charlie might be dating someone,’ Flo admitted.
Tasha’s heart plummeted. ‘Oh,’ she said, completely shell-shocked. A shiver ran down her spine and she broke out in a cold sweat. She had absolutely no idea how to handle this information.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Flo winced. ‘I didn’t know whether to tell you. It may not even be anything serious.’
‘It must be if word has got to Mark?’
‘You never know – it’s probably just office gossip.’
A flurry of questions hurtled through Tasha’s mind. ‘When did he tell you?’
‘Last weekend.’
‘Do you know how long it’s been going on?’
‘No, I’m afraid not. Look, Tasha, I’m sure it’s nothing but hot air, people jumping to conclusions…’
Tasha gripped the edge of the table as if to steady herself; the room seemed to spin as she processed the news. She shook her head. ‘Oh, my God. I just can’t believe this! This is my worst nightmare.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Honestly, Flo, it’s better that I know.’
Tasha felt utterly sick. Charlie, seeing someone else. The thought of it: him sleeping with someone else, kissing them, holding them… Suddenly she could see him falling in love, moving on from her
completely, introducing the children to his new girlfriend, even remarrying. She let out a panicked sob as the tears began to flow.
‘Shit, now look what I’ve done,’ Flo said as she passed Tasha the box of tissues. ‘It’s probably not even true,’ Flo tried to reassure her.
‘Did Mark mention a name?’ Tasha asked. She could tell Flo had more information to spill.
Flo nodded slowly. ‘But remember, it’s just a rumour. It could be complete bollocks.’
‘I doubt it. What is her name?’
‘Sophia.’
‘Sophia,’ Tasha repeated softly to herself.
When Flo eventually left, clearly riddled with angst as to whether she had done the right thing in telling her, Tasha sat on the sofa with the rest of the bottle of wine. She opened her laptop and searched for any Sophias she could find on Charlie’s company website. There was only one result. It had to be her. Tasha’s heart was pounding as she pressed on the thumbnail and waited for the page to load. Soon enough a picture of a breathtakingly gorgeous young brunette opened on her screen. Tasha let out a slow exhalation, trying her best not to panic. This was who Charlie was dating. Oh, my God, she thought. I could never even begin to compete with that. She had shiny, long dark hair and a dazzling smile, revealing a perfect set of pearly white teeth. Tasha felt as if she might throw up. She took another gulp of wine and peered closer. She noted her name, Sophia Beauchamp, and typed it into Google. She spent a good couple of hours searching for her profiles on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, trying to find out as much about her as she could. But despite her best efforts she didn’t learn much. Sophia was obviously clued up on privacy settings, preventing random strangers like Tasha from spying on her.
Tasha almost called Charlie several times to confront him, but she stopped herself. If he confirmed it then she would know it was true. At the moment it could just be gossip. She had a sneaking suspicion it was genuine, but she was no way near ready to hear from Charlie that he was seeing someone. The longer she could try and kid herself that it might not be true, the better. Her head spun. It just couldn’t be. He couldn’t be anywhere near ready to start a new relationship yet, could he? But if someone as beautiful as that should appear on the scene, someone new, exciting and young, basically the opposite of her, then why would he say no? Especially if she had set her sights on him and was going out of her way to catch him… Eventually, she couldn’t bear it a second longer. She closed her laptop and went up to bed. Tasha tried to shut off the images of Charlie and Sophia that continuously flooded her imagination, but it was useless. She cried herself to sleep, taunted by her thoughts.
Chapter Forty-three
‘Apparently Charlie is seeing someone,’ Tasha said. She had called Rosie on her lunchbreak for an emergency debrief, exhausted after yet another restless night.
‘No!’ Rosie gasped.
‘I know!’ Tasha shook her head. She still couldn’t believe it.
‘How do you know?’ Rosie asked.
‘Flo told me last night. I just don’t know what to do with myself! I can’t bear the thought of it. He’ll never come back to me if he’s dating someone else…’ Tasha could feel the emotions she had tried so hard to repress all morning spill out of her.
‘OK, OK, slow down,’ Rosie instructed. ‘First of all, where did Flo get this information from?’
‘Mark. He works in the same company, remember?’
‘Right. And what exactly did she say?’
‘He’s heard that Charlie is dating a colleague called Sophia Beauchamp.’
‘Is it definitely true?’
‘Not definitely. She said it could be a rumour.’
‘OK,’ Rosie said. ‘That’s good. Have you looked online to see if she even exists?’
‘Of course! I jumped straight on my laptop after she left and spent ages looking her up.’
‘Did you find her?’
‘There’s only one Sophia in the whole company. And, to make matters worse, she is ridiculously stunning.’
‘OK, well, let’s try not to jump to any conclusions. It could be bollocks.’
‘As Flo said. But equally it could also be true.’
‘Maybe. Or maybe wires have been crossed, they might have been at a work engagement together or having a business lunch and someone’s seen them and the rumour mill has kicked into action…’
‘That would be the best-case scenario but somehow I doubt it.’
‘Are you going to ask him?’
‘I don’t know. What if he admits that it’s true?’
‘What about Becca? Do you think she might know something from Andrew?’
‘Andrew’s in Iraq… so no. I doubt it.’
‘Maybe she could try and find out for you?’ They spent the rest of her rushed lunchbreak talking about what Tasha should do, until she realised she was meant to be back in the office taking minutes for a meeting and had to dash.
The rest of the day was so incredibly busy that Tasha didn’t have more than a couple of spare moments to think about Charlie. On the way home, she stopped at Waitrose to buy some supplies for dinner. Chloe was staying the night. She was up in London for a rare training day and was taking the opportunity to check in on Tasha.
Chloe arrived after the children had gone to bed. Tasha could tell she had spent the day cramped up in a stuffy conference room: she demanded a large, stiff drink as soon as she got through the door.
Tasha poured them both gin and tonics. ‘So,’ Chloe said, chinking her glass against hers, ‘are you still enjoying being a city slicker?’
‘I am actually loving it. It’s not the most thrilling work in the world but there’s so much to do that the days absolutely fly by.’
‘That’s great!’ Chloe smiled. ‘What are your colleagues like?’
‘Nice enough. It’s just so fun being in central London. And I’m enjoying having something else going on other than housework and childcare.’
‘I bet. I think it’s a good idea, especially now the kids are all at school.’
‘It feels like the right time,’ Tasha agreed.
‘Are you missing being a GP?’
‘In some ways. It feels like a lifetime ago… I think it’s good to be doing something so completely different. It’s very hard to compare. And it’s only temporary. Who knows what the future holds?’
‘Exactly. Ella seems to be getting on well,’ Chloe said. ‘Have you heard from her lately?’
‘We’ve FaceTimed a bit. Thank God she’ll be back next month and we can all stop worrying about her at last.’
‘I can’t believe it’s already November. Are you all still coming to Mum and Dad’s for Christmas?’
‘That’s the plan.’
‘Will Charlie come?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Tasha took a deep breath. ‘I just don’t know what to do… Max is already worrying about it.’
Chloe looked concerned. ‘Perhaps you’ll have worked things out by then?’ she suggested, ever the optimist.
‘It sounds like I may have been naïve to think that was ever on the cards. I’ve heard Charlie might be seeing someone.’
‘What?’ Chloe was clearly angry on her sister’s behalf. ‘It’s a bit soon, isn’t it? What is he thinking?’
‘It might just be a rumour, but I wouldn’t be totally surprised if it were true.’
‘Tasha, what exactly happened? Are you sure you still won’t talk about it?’
‘I’m sure.’ Tasha was determined to stick to her ground.
Chloe looked at her searchingly and nodded. ‘Well, are you going to ask Charlie if it’s true?’
‘I don’t know. Do you think I should?’
‘Maybe. It’s good to have all the facts in a situation like this, don’t you think? If he is, then it might help you move on.’
‘That’s the problem. I really don’t want to move on. I just want to fix things.’
It was hard for Chloe to give her advice when she had no idea what had happened.
Tasha could tell she thought Charlie had cheated on her, probably with the girl he was rumoured to be dating. It upset her that Charlie had undoubtedly plummeted in her family’s opinion, but she couldn’t do much about it without telling them the whole story. It was more important to protect the children, at any cost. Realising that pursuing her relationship woes wasn’t going to get her very far, she changed the subject, talking about Chloe’s love life and school instead.
They had a lovely dinner together; it was great having some company in the house again. As she went to bed Tasha felt the extra sense of security that came from having another adult around, from not being the only responsible person present. Unlike the previous night she actually managed to get a few hours’ sleep. She woke feeling a fraction more human and with a fraction more energy to face the day, though she was extremely grateful that it was Saturday and she didn’t have to go to work. Charlie was having the children for the night. She wondered if she would be able to tell if he was dating someone from their interaction at handover time. She was going to watch him like a hawk in case he gave anything away, even just in his body language.
*
‘Hi,’ Tasha said as she opened the door. She had made a special effort, choosing one of his favourite tops and putting make-up on despite the fact she had no plans to leave the house. Chloe had left earlier that morning to meet a friend in Brighton and today was moving day for Rosie and Josh. All her other friends would be spending time with their families, and the thought of joining them and being the subject of their pity was hardly appealing so she would be flying solo once again.
‘Hi,’ Charlie said as he smiled at her. Her heart soared. He really did have the most incredible smile, so full of warmth. ‘How are we all this morning?’ he asked. As she talked him through the handover she scrutinised his face to see if she could pick up on any clues, any traces of Sophia.
Charlie stifled a yawn as he listened to her. ‘Late night?’ she asked.
The Distance Between Us Page 24