by S M Mala
Jamie sadly nodded and looked at Molly, now with doe eyed innocence.
‘How could he hurt my Molly like that? But do you want to know something, Mrs Drew?’
‘Please call me Connie,’ her mother blushed while Molly rolled her eyes, knowing he was a slimy creep.
‘I’m pleased he did because I wouldn’t have been able to get a look in otherwise.’
‘Oh please!’ exclaimed Molly, this time unable to hide her annoyance.
‘That’s so romantic. Isn’t it romantic?’ her mum asked, looking at Jamie with so much adoration, it even surprised Molly. ‘Now I can see why you don’t want to speak to Sam.’
Jamie instantly turned to look at Molly and this time it was a less theatrical stare.
‘You see since he’s been back in London, he’s tried to get in touch. Even calling me a few times. They parted on bad terms,’ her mother said quietly, still grinning at Jamie.
Her blood started to boil. She didn’t want anyone, other than Sienna, to know about it.
‘Why does he want to see you?’ Jamie seriously asked. ‘Are you sure you’re up to it?’
‘That’s what I was wondering,’ her mum said.
‘I know about her melt down, you see.’
‘It was very upsetting.’
‘I am here, you know,’ Molly said, starting to get agitated. ‘And I’m fine.’
‘You weren’t a few weeks ago,’ he whispered. ‘And I was worried.’
‘Molly?’ her mother gulped. ‘Did you have a turn?’
‘She was very upset,’ sighed Jamie, getting Molly’s hand and kissing it. ‘I was so worried.’ Trying her hardest to pull her hand away, he held on tightly. ‘That’s why I was upset we went to bed on a quarrel. It’s a bad thing.’
‘It certainly is. Your father and I never do that we…’
Molly sat there and listened to her mother intently talk about deeply personal things to the little sod who wouldn’t let go of her hand. He’d managed to eat Molly’s scones, drink her tea and get free cake, which was unheard of in that café. And she should know because she’d tried numerous times.
He was a slippery, deceitful, little shit.
That’s all what was going through her mind.
And all the charm and flattery, simply slipped off his tongue when she knew he didn’t mean a word.
Her mother excused herself to go to the toilets, and Molly was going to say something.
Then he placed his lips on her mouth and looked into her eyes.
‘It’s not what you think,’ he whispered. She could smell jam on his breath. ‘I went round to see if she was going to tell Bill.’
‘I don’t trust you.’
‘I told her it was a mistake. She was crying, and one thing led to another.’
‘Of course, it did,’ she hissed. ‘The sympathy fuck! And you shouldn’t have come here.’
‘You were gone before I could speak to you this morning. And I know you passed out after drinking the fizz. I went to a lot of trouble to make you a meal.’
‘Go away!’
‘I think you’re pretty and I like you very much.’
Pulling away, she shook her head and glanced at the table.
‘You love yourself more than you love anything else. You know who told me that? Bill.’
‘And he would know!’ he replied, instantly getting agitated and looking around. ‘Is that what you did? Discuss me over breakfast?’
‘You had his wife over breakfast so don’t look at me like that.’
‘I know, I know,’ he hissed. ‘I fucked up!’
‘Literally!’
‘And you’re just going to walk off?’
Jamie looked at her. ‘Just like that?’
Her mother had strolled away, as if walking on air, after Jamie hugged and kissed her.
He had charmed the living daylights out of her mum. Molly would remember to ask her dad about how easily her mother could be swayed.
Now they were alone, Molly wanted to forget about Jamie’s game, knowing she’d have to apologise to her mum later on.
‘It’s Wednesday. You should be doing something or someone,’ she sighed, feeling the biting wind against her skin.
‘I’m not a slut!’ Jamie barked, making her step back. ‘Yes, I’ve had some fun and yes, I know I made a mistake on Saturday.’
‘Were you going to tell me?’ she asked, waiting for his response. There was an uncomfortable expression in return. ‘You know what I think? I’ve been set up, and I’m being used as bait in some way, but I don’t know what and how. This, you probably have the answer to.’
‘I’m not setting you up.’
‘You’re doing something to use me, in one way or another.’
‘You’re not getting paid until this is finished. 31st January. All you have to do is stick it out for a couple of months.’ Jamie looked at her, straight in the eye. ‘And it’s not as if I’m asking you to do anything against your moral fibre, is it?’
There was nothing she could say, so she continued to walk towards her home as he followed.
‘She was crying and upset,’ he said behind her. ‘I felt bad. I don’t want to see Chloe anymore. I’ve finished the relationship. I admit, I’ve been a coward about it but I was stuck. This engagement façade isn’t solely about me getting out of shit with Bill, it was to get me out of my fling with his wife. The reason I slept with her was to make her feel better. I still said I was in love with you and made a mistake.’
‘You are priceless!’ Molly shouted and turned to look up at him. ‘That’s what you said afterwards?’
‘I was honest! Anyway, my mother always said to treat older people with respect. I had no choice!’
‘You have no idea how to treat a woman, do you? She might have thought it was something more but to you, it’s a way of having sex to make her feel better when all you did was make her feel used!’
This was the first time she’d ever seen Jamie look guilty. It would have been endearing if she didn’t feel the need to slap him. Shaking her head, she continued to walk home.
‘Why does Sam want to see you?’ he asked, keeping a few steps behind her. ‘And why don’t you want to see him?’
She felt her inward rage on the mention of his name and then the hurt.
If she could explain it to anyone, she would, but it was a complicated emotion that wouldn’t make sense.
‘I like you,’ he said, once again. ‘Listen to me.’ Jamie pulled her arm so she’d turn around. ‘We’ve both been hurt and let down by someone we loved. More than likely, probably used. I see it in your eyes, when his name is mentioned, how upset you feel. You won’t believe me, but I do understand. I’m not a heartless tart.’
That made her smile. She tried hard not to, but he said it with such honesty it sounded funny.
‘Why can’t you meet me tomorrow?’ he asked, stepping closer. ‘Where are you going?’
Molly examined his face. Right now, he was at his most devastatingly handsome when he seemed genuine.
‘I have some business to sort out regarding my future,’ she honestly replied. ‘I don’t want to talk about it just in case it goes wrong.’
Jamie was staring back, and she wasn’t quite sure what was going on behind those hazel eyes.
‘I need a friend, right now,’ he said which took her by surprise. ‘That’s all I want. Someone to talk to, not lad bravado. And I like talking to you.’
‘There’s something about you that makes you likeable as well as being insincere.’
‘That’s a bit strong.’
‘You’re charming but is it real? Is there anything about you that isn’t pretend? You’re playing with me because you want something. I know it. You know it. Yes, we kissed frantically a few weekends back and ended up getting naked. Was that your plan to see how far I’d go so I’d get sucked in? Make it more convincing?’
Then he quickly stepped forward and gave her a massive bear hug, burying his head in her neck.<
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‘I like you. I like your company. You make me laugh, and that’s a good thing,’ he whispered. ‘I won’t cross the line again and I’ll be honest with you until this finishes. Please don’t stop now because you think I’ve got moral values of a slug. I haven’t. I’m a good person on a rocky path that’s all.’
In his arms, she felt safe. It was odd considering he was intent on landing them both in trouble. Hugging him back, she knew Jamie Cohen had many things but lacked one thing in particular.
He needed love.
And he was very good at getting someone to fall for him.
Week six of the engagement… slip and turn
‘Can I use the side door?’
Molly had spotted Sam waiting outside. It was pretty obvious because the mothers were asking him to sign autographs. ‘I don’t want to go out there.’
Henrietta pulled a face then looked outside before glancing back at her.
‘You don’t want to speak to him? That man is gorgeous! He might want to rekindle what was lost, you never know.’
‘Don’t start,’ she groaned. ‘Why would he bloody well turn up here?’
‘It’s good for business,’ her boss smiled then frowned. ‘You want to avoid Sam Price?’
‘He’s spent the last two years doing it to me, so it’s my turn.’
‘I’ll tell him,’ she heard Charlie say, walking up to her. ‘I’ll tell him to go away and leave you. Doesn’t he know you’re engaged to that boy?’
‘You’re engaged?’ Henrietta looked confused. ‘Since when?’
‘I’ll tell you over coffee,’ Molly said and peeked outside. ‘Charlie, don’t say you saw me and I can creep out, okay?’
‘For you, anything,’ he said sincerely and bowed making Henrietta giggle.
Quickly, Molly pulled down her bobble hat and put her hood up. For the first time, she wished she’d got a new coat as Sam would recognise it.
She headed for the side door with Henrietta in tow then darted out, running towards the opposite of where she was supposed to go until she was out of breath.
That took two minutes.
Then she felt a panic in her chest and knew it was down to seeing him. She couldn’t talk to Sam; there was nothing to say. He looked more than gorgeous, standing outside in his expensive clothing, lapping up the attention. But she knew he must have been desperate because he’d never turn up, out of the blue. She got her mobile and rang her mother.
‘Hello!’ her mum said. ‘How’s Jamie?’
Molly could tell her mother had a crush on him.
‘Did you tell Sam not to come to my home or contact me?’ she asked, quickly walking towards Bayswater. ‘Were you clear?’
‘I did tell him. Why?’
‘He just turned up outside the school and… You didn’t tell him I worked there, did you?’
‘No, I didn’t.’ There was a long pause. ‘Just speak to him.’
‘I can’t!’
‘Molly, what’s wrong?’
‘I can’t speak to him. I don’t want to see him. Tell him to go away and write me a letter.’
‘Are you all right?’ her mother asked, the concern dripping in her voice. ‘Do you need to see a doctor? Jamie said you were upset and-.’
‘Mum, please tell Sam to leave me alone.’
Hanging up, the first person she wanted to call was Jamie.
Then she stopped.
Since they’d spoken a week ago, she’d not seen him. It was if he’d disappeared. At the weekend he was nowhere to be seen, so Molly abused his plush bathroom and supply of wine. She knew he’d been coming into the flat when she was out because he left small signs like his clothes, piled in the corner.
On Tuesday, she turned up, and he’d filled the fridge and left her a note saying he was at a business meeting.
But, right now, she knew she couldn’t go back to her flat. Jamie’s place was nearer, but he might not be in.
Or he could be in, but entertaining who knows what before he decided whether or not to turn up.
She had no other choice.
‘Jamie, it’s me,’ she said as soon as he answered. ‘I need your help.’
‘What’s wrong?’
There was a lot of noise in the background, and it sounded like he was on a building site.
‘I-.’ She couldn’t say. ‘Nothing. Can I spend the night in your flat tonight?’
‘Why?’
‘Please.’
‘Of course.’
Then he hung up.
She buried herself under the duvet as soon as she got to the spare room. Molly wanted to hide and hoped the bed would swallow her up. All she needed were her cat’s ashes, and all would be well. The spirit of Daisy would make her strong.
But deep down, inside, she knew she wasn’t.
Seeing Sam would only reinforce that everything in her life was wrong.
Closing her eyes, she fell asleep.
That was a far better option other than crying her heart out.
Even though, internally, she was weeping buckets.
‘This isn’t healthy.’
The voice was muffled, and she slowly awoke from her light doze. ‘I’m worried about you.’
It was then she realised Jamie was lying behind her, under the duvet.
She pushed her face into the pillow even more.
‘Do you know, every time his name is mentioned, I see the fear written across your face and sheer panic. It’s terrifying… Not your face, but the expression. You have a very pretty face. Beautiful if I'm honest. Your combination is unique, and I like your arse.’
Molly wanted to cry, but Jamie’s attempt at flattery started to make her laugh.
Then she did both.
Cried and laughed at the same time.
‘Okay, I’m not sure what I do next,’ Jamie whispered. ‘Do I speak more or wipe your tears?’
She couldn’t stop her strange emotions.
‘And you have the most beautiful hair. What colour would you call it? Like really dark auburn red? The curls are very shiny. You must use a good conditioner.’
Then she started to laugh even harder.
‘I’m going mad,’ she said then burst into tears.
‘Well, yes. I was going to say, but I didn’t want to upset you.’ Then he moved closer. ‘What about we have some sweaty sex? That’ll take your mind off it.’
She giggled and turned to see the cheeky smile.
‘You’ve had more sex in the past few weeks than I’ve had in the last eight years and more so.’
‘I only did it once with Chloe on Saturday, you know.’
‘All heart! That’s you. So by doing it once, it makes it okay?’
‘It was quick. I’ll take my time with you and will probably do it twice. I rarely ever get round to doing it three times,’ he said before laughing.
Molly pulled the duvet down, so there was some light.
‘I can’t explain how I feel when I speak about him and when I saw him… It was horrible. Just a panic inside that I can’t cope with. He looked so handsome, polished and confident. I’m a shambles, and he’s going to see that.’
This time the tears hurt her throat and heart, but she blinked them away. Jamie then touched her face.
‘Personally speaking, he’s not that good looking. I can’t see what the fuss is about. From the gay community, yes. But heterosexual women? Nah.’
‘Are you trying to make me feel better or do you just want to tell me I was sleeping with a gay man for six years? Either way, it’s not helping,’ she sobbed before shouting out. ‘What am I going to do? I don’t want to see him!’
‘My ear drums,’ Jamie said, putting his hands over his ears.
‘I want to run away and hide.’
‘This duvet’s good enough.’
‘Jamie, help me.’
He let out a long sigh and shook his head from side to side.
‘Molly,’ he said, clearing his throat. ‘You have to speak to him. Fi
nd out what he’s got to say. The longer you put it off then, the worse it’s going to get. I’ll be with you. I wouldn’t let you do it alone.’
‘You don’t even know me.’
‘I think I do,’ he whispered. ‘I know you’re very hurt and I don’t think it’s about Sam. You’ve had some hard knocks over the past two years. It’s culminated in your fear and anxiety. Work, Sam and your cat.’
‘I miss my cat!’ she said, suddenly bursting into tears. ‘She helped me when it all went wrong. I feel so alone.’
‘Oh god,’ he said, putting his arms around her as she sobbed harder. ‘I’ll be your new pussy.’
She started to laugh.
Week seven of the engagement … stance
‘Don’t hit me so hard!’
Molly was sparring with Jamie. She glanced over at Mr Mac, who was working with an up and coming boxer.
Since she’d hit him, he made sure he didn’t put his face too close to the bag or mention Jamie when she punched.
Jamie was gently jabbing at her head.
‘When you do that, it gives me a headache!’ Molly groaned.
Then she hit him in the chest as he let his guard down.
‘The thing about you,’ she said, trying to land a punch on his face and missing, much to his amusement. ‘One minute you’re really lovely, like over the weekend. Next you’re a teasing little toe rag.’
‘One minute you’re this happy peanut brittle and the next, you’re just a nut. You need to talk to someone about your odd way of dealing with it. A professional.’
She stopped and looked at him, furious at his comment.
‘I think we need to get this Sam shit out of your system. You need to let go, and then you won’t have more of your funny turns. We only have seven weeks, and then you won’t get this sort of therapy because we won’t see each other again.’
‘Oh.’
It was a sharp pain knowing he didn’t plan to keep in contact.
And she was very disappointed because she thought they were becoming friends.
‘That’s fine,’ she said shrugging it off and putting her guard up, ready to avoid his next punch, verbally and physically. ‘Okay, we’ll try your therapy.’