Highland Vengeance

by Melanie Karsak

  She squirmed a little.

  I pulled back a little then eyed her carefully. She gave me a look so full of suspicion that everyone in the room laughed.

  “Really, Crearwy. Won’t you smile for your mother?” Epona told her good-naturedly.

  I stroked her cheek, and she gave me a soft, shy smile.

  “Dat, dat, dat! Mum,” Lulach screamed, annoyed with being ignored.

  Once more, everyone chuckled.

  “Yes, Lulach. I hear you,” I said then moved toward him. “Lulach, this is Crearwy.”

  Crearwy perked up then and looked at Lulach. Her brow furrowed like she was trying to figure out a puzzle.

  “Dat, Dat,” Lulach said, pointing at her.

  “Crearwy,” I told him.

  “Crw, Crw,” he tried.

  “Crearwy, this is Lulach. He is your brother,” I said.

  She stared at him. “Lulu,” she said, pointing.

  “Yes, Lulu,” I said with a laugh.

  Crearwy gave me a sour look as if she took my laughter as mocking.

  Oh my goodness, Sid was right. What a personality.

  The door opened once more, and Madelaine and Ute entered.

  “Oh, I missed it!” Madelaine lamented, joining Epona and me. “Well, Crearwy, here are your mother and brother.”

  “Lulu,” Crearwy explained to Madelaine, pointing to Lulach.

  “This is Lulu?” Madelaine asked her. “Oh, all right then,” Madelaine said then smiled, kissing the girl on her forehead.

  Crearwy favored her with that same soft half-smile.

  “She looks very well, very healthy. Thank you for your care,” I told May.

  May smiled. “Of course. I love her very much.”

  My stomach felt queasy.

  I sat down then, Crearwy in my lap. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the small wooden top Lulach always played with and handed it to Crearwy. Lulach, distracted by yet another biscuit, didn’t notice.

  “Would you like to see this?” I asked Crearwy. “It’s Lulach’s toy.”

  “Lulu,” she said then pointed to Lulach once more.

  “Yes, Lulu.”

  The door opened once more, and Aridmis, Druanne, and a stranger entered. I assumed this to be Juno, the girl Epona had mentioned. She had a head full of curly black hair that fell down her back. Her nose and cheeks covered with freckles. She smiled at me.

  “Well met, Cerridwen,” Druanne said stiffly.

  “Druanne.”

  “Cerridwen,” Aridmis said happily then embraced me, pausing to kiss Crearwy, who seemed not to mind. “Welcome home.”

  “Thank you, sister.”

  “Cerridwen, this is Juno,” Epona said, introducing the girl.

  I moved to rise, but she motioned for me to stay seated.

  “I’m pleased to meet you, sister,” Juno said with a smile. She then went to Epona’s cupboards, pulled out cups and started pouring everyone some wine.

  “And where is Sid?” Madelaine asked.

  “Wherever the wind blows,” Uald said. “She’ll be back soon, I suspect.”

  Everyone sat and Juno handed out goblets while Epona and Lulach served small cakes and sweets to the assembled crowd.

  I smiled at my sisters. I was home. I was safe. I grinned at everyone, even Druanne whose chilly—but consistently chilly—nature felt comforting and familiar. I was with my family. Madelaine eased back into her seat, sipping her cup of wine. Finally, I felt at ease. Finally, I felt like myself again. I squeezed Crearwy close to me.

  “My little lass,” I whispered in her ear. “I’m your mum.”

  Crearwy looked up at me from under her long, dark lashes. “Mum?”

  I nodded.

  She smiled then turned her attention back to the top, turning it around and around in her hands, a slight smile on her lips.

  I kissed the back of her head. Closing my eyes, I inhaled the scent of her hair. I never wanted this moment to end.

  Chapter 29

  It was several days before Sid finally arrived.

  “Sorry for the delay, love. The Seelie queen had another baby, and there was much ado regarding the matter. We had to call some of the fey healers in because her delivery wasn’t going well. In the end, her little baby came forth without any problems.”

  I’d taken up residence in Sid’s house in her absence. She’d found me there resting with my children. Lulach and Crearwy had taken to one another at once. It seemed that Crearwy’s sourness and apprehensions did not extend to her brother, with whom she played very happily. Having tired themselves out, the pair was sleeping in Sid’s bed.

  Crearwy stirred a little at the sound of Sid’s voice but did not wake.

  “She’s such a bright girl, interested in all the world. Epona spends a lot of time with her,” Sid said, bending down to kiss Crearwy. “How alike they are,” she said, looking from Lulach to Crearwy.

  “Sid, what’s happening to Epona?”

  “That’s a common question here, but none speak of it. All this time she has held the charm of youth. Now she begins to age. You must understand, given her true age, if she lets go completely, she will die. I believe she is letting go a little at a time.”

  “Why?”

  “To give Crearwy time to grow up.”

  “Crearwy?”

  “Crearwy is her chosen successor.”

  I stared at Sid. A memory of Andraste’s prophetic words rang through my mind. I was suddenly feeling very sour with Andraste and planned on given her my most Crearwy-like glare when I saw her next. Meddlesome creature. “So she is.”

  Sid sighed heavily then started pulling off her tattered and muddy clothes. I watched her as she undressed. Once more, that strange longing filled me, a sensation I didn’t know what to do with. My eyes drifted over her breasts, and my mind went back to pleasant memories.

  Sid paused then looked up at me.

  She smirked. “Dirty as I am, glad to know I can still put that look on your face.”

  “Sid,” I chided her then looked away, my cheeks reddening.

  Sid moved behind me then, pushed my hair to one side, and set some soft kisses on my neck, her hands reaching around to cup my breasts. My heart beat hard in my chest. “Raven beak,” she whispered then pulled away. Grabbing a cloak from near the door, she pulled it on then headed outside half-naked.

  “Want a bath?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  She slipped open her robe so I had a full view of her naked self. “You sure?”

  “Sid!”

  She giggled then turned and rushed off.

  Shaking my head, I closed the door behind her. Was there ever anyone else in the world like my old friend?

  * * *

  Madelaine and I spent the next several weeks at the coven, but as Lughnassadh neared, we knew we must go. Soon, others would arrive for the festival. I could not let outsiders see Crearwy and me together. It would be dangerous if people discovered her maternity.

  I spent my last day at the coven with Crearwy and Lulach. I took them for a walk to the stream. We stopped to look at every stick and leaf they found interesting. Thora dodged between them, making them both laugh—and, often, fall down. They had both just started walking. Their dawdling steps were adorable.

  Afterward, I went back to Epona’s house and fed my children their lunch. They sat side by side fingering through their plates and giggling at one another.

  “You’re a good mother. I feel very guilty for having taken your child. Sometimes the Goddess asks us to do things that are difficult, but I want you to know I’m sorry,” Epona told me.

  “Crearwy is happy and well taken care of,” I said.

  “But she is not in your care, nor with her brother, and I apologize for that.”

  I was silent as I digested her words. “Thank you,” I finally said in reply. “But it’s better this way. I would not wish the court life on her.” After a few moments, I turned at looked at Epona. Her hands, which had alw
ays looked so smooth, were wrinkled and covered in spots. “You’re aging,” I said simply.

  Epona nodded. “My time is coming to an end.”

  “How soon?”

  “I will wait until Crearwy is ready. You can measure time with that knowledge.”

  “You riddle like Andraste.”

  Epona laughed. “Someday you too will riddle.”

  “If I live that long.”

  “What a thing to say.”

  She was right. What a thing to say. Why had I said that?

  Outside, I heard Uald and Madelaine talking. The jingle of rigging told me that the horses had already been saddled.

  “I fear it will be awhile before I can return,” I told Epona.

  She nodded. “Change is in the wind. “

  We sat in silence until the children finished eating. Once they were done, Epona and I washed their hands and faces. I picked up Crearwy while Epona held Lulach.

  “Lulach, you must say goodbye to Crearwy. We have to leave now,” I told him. “Can you give her a kiss?” Epona brought him close, and Lulach pressed his face—more smashing than kissing—against his sister’s cheek.

  Crearwy let out the softest of giggles.

  “Well, that’s a first,” Epona said.

  I looked at my daughter. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Be a good girl, Crearwy. Listen to Epona,” I said.

  The little girl stared at me, her dark blue eyes meeting mine.

  A tear rolled down my cheek.

  Crearwy scowled when she saw it, her lower lip trembling. She reached out and wiped it off.

  “Sweet baby,” I whispered, pressing her against me.

  “Mum,” she said.

  Swallowing hard, I kissed my daughter then went back outside where the others waited.

  “Come to me,” Sid told Crearwy, taking her from my arms.

  I leaned in and kissed Sid on the cheek. “I’ll miss you.”

  “No, you’ll forget me. Like always.”

  “Sid!”

  She laughed. “I’ll miss you too.”

  I kissed Crearwy once more then turned to go.

  Druanne nodded to me, Juno smiling in farewell. Uald and Aridmis both embraced me, then Uald helped me mount then lashed Lulach securely onto the saddle and against me.

  “I’ll have to find him a pony. When you come next time, we’ll teach him how to ride,” she said.

  I smiled at her. Though tears threatened, I held them back.

  Madelaine was already ahorse, and Thora was waiting by the exit.

  “Until next time,” Epona called, lifting her hand in farewell.

  I inclined my head to her then turned and looked at Crearwy once more. I waved goodbye and turned Kelpie toward the exit.

  I had no words.

  “Lulu!” Crearwy called.

  I turned Kelpie once more so we could look back.

  “Wave goodbye,” I told Lulach who waved.

  Sid held Crearwy, bouncing her in her arms, but Crearwy simply stared at us.

  Waving goodbye once more, I turned, and we rode away from the coven.

  I’d have to go back north now, back to Macbeth, away from Crearwy and Madelaine. Epona was right. The future was coming into the present, and I would have to be ready for what would come next. Even if I wanted nothing to do with it.

  Chapter 30

  In the days that followed, I prepared to leave Madelaine. I tried not to mope, especially when I realized that Ute looked even more distressed than me. I was just finishing up packing the last of my new dresses—another haul of gifts from Madelaine—when Ute finally said what she’d been dancing around for days.

  “My lady,” she began, her voice cracking. “I…have something to ask of you.”

  She had just closed the bag containing Lulach’s belongings.

  I turned and looked at her. Huge tears hung on her lower lids.

  “What is it, Ute? What’s the matter?”

  “My lady, if she will have me, I would like to stay on with Lady Madelaine. The staff here is all very kind, and they speak well of your aunt and the Thane of Fife.”

  I stared at her.

  “It’s not anything against you, Gruoch. God knows I will miss Lulach more than I can stand. I just… I don’t want to return to Inverness.”

  I crossed the room and took her hand. “Some ill deed was done to you in my house, wasn’t it? The child? Is that why?”

  “I don’t want to discuss it. I beg you to forgive me, but please, let me stay.”

  “Ute,” I said, feeling my heart beat hard. Unbidden, I heard the beating wings of the raven. I closed my eyes, seeking to control the rage. “You must tell me who harmed you. They must pay for what they’ve done.”

  Ute turned away. “My lady, I am sorry, but I will not name the man. Perhaps there was some misunderstanding between us. I… I’m not sure. My mind is so confused about it. Please forgive me, but I would like to stay here, if you will allow it.”

  I reined in my anger. It would not serve me here, especially if Ute had chosen not to speak of it. “Lulach will miss you terribly.”

  “I know. And I him.”

  I sighed. “Madelaine will treat you well. I’ll talk to her.”

  “Thank you, Gruoch,” Ute said, wiping her cheeks.

  I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her from behind. I left her then to seek out Madelaine who was in her own chambers playing with Lulach. The moment I walked into the room, Madelaine’s cheerful expression faded.

  “What’s wrong, Corbie?”

  “Ute would like to stay with you. Will that be all right?”

  Madelaine scrunched up her face. “Did you quarrel?”

  “No. There has been some trouble with a man at court. She won’t name him, but she doesn’t want to return.”

  “I see,” Madelaine said, and there was an edge to Madelaine’s voice. Given the way Allister kept his household, I was sure Madelaine understood very well.

  “She is a very loyal and skilled maid. Gillacoemgain employed her for me. She’ll serve you well, if you’ll have her.”

  “Of course. I always liked the girl.”

  I smiled at Madelaine. “I’ll let her know.”

  “And what will you do now?”

  “I’ll return north. To Cawdor.”

  “To Cawdor?”

  I nodded. “Macbeth and I cannot find our way together. He’s a complicated man. I excused his roughness at first, thinking he was just courtly in his manner, but no more.”

  “Roughness? Has he harmed you?”

  What Madelaine was really asking as if he had struck me, hurt me. He had not, but every time I left my marriage bed, I felt ill-used. Was a woman supposed to feel like that after making love to her husband? It had not been that way with Gillacoemgain. Suddenly, I felt ashamed. How could I explain such a thing to Madelaine?

  “No. But he’s ill-tempered in a way that is unbearable. Sunshine in the morning and thunderstorms by nightfall. When he remembers I exist.”

  Madelaine pursed her lips together as she mused over the problem. “A streak of madness?” she finally asked.

  I looked toward the fireplace. The small flames inside burned cheerfully, the wood crackling. I had given Macbeth a chance. I had opened my heart to him all based on some visions. But Epona was right. Andraste liked to play. Maybe I should not have been so generous toward Macbeth. Macbeth’s distempers did smack of madness. “Perhaps.”

  She frowned. “And they called Gillacoemgain the mad one, but I think you loved him.”

  “I did. He was not mad. He was a good man.”

  “And made such a beautiful child,” she said, lifting Lulach. “Children.”

  “Children.”

  “Go to Cawdor then. Perhaps Macbeth needs a reminder of who you are. We are the blood of MacAlpin’s line and not to be trifled with. Macbeth must learn to control himself. Given his whispered aspirations, he’s going to need your help.”

  “Yes.”

 
Madelaine kissed Lulach. “And you, my boy, will one day be King of Scotland. You will rule well and treat your wife kindly. Do you understand?”

  Lulach nodded then giggled.

  I smiled at them, my heart filled with joy at the sight.

  But also sorrow.

  It was time to go.

  Chapter 31

  Lulach and I rode north the next morning under heavy guard. With Madelaine’s many gifts, it was necessary to take a wagon. Madelaine had the foresight to pack some household supplies as well. Cawdor would not be expecting me. It might take time to get everything back in order. As we rode, I saw that the harvest season had arrived once more, and the farmers were working their fields, busy with ensuring the safety of their families in the winter months that would soon come.

  My heart set on a new course, I rode back to Cawdor. As I passed through the gate and into the walls of the citadel, I felt at ease once more. Cawdor had come to feel like home. I was safe here.

  “My lady?” Standish called, crossing the quiet courtyard to greet me. He helped me and Lulach down.

  “Standish,” I said, hugging him gently.

  “We weren’t expecting you, my lady. We’ll get a room ready for you to rest for the night.”

  I shook my head. “Will you please provision the Thane of Fife’s men so they can return when they are ready? Afterward, I will reopen the castle. I am returning to take up residence once more.”

  “We had no word from Lord Macbeth about it, Lady Gruoch. There are but a dozen servants here, Macbeth’s sentinel, and a handful of men—Macbeth’s men.”

  “Send Macbeth’s men back to Inverness. I want the sentinel gone by nightfall.”

  Standish smirked but quickly tried to hide the expression. “As you wish, my lady. Rhona and Tira are within. I’m sure they will be happy to see you since your maid isn’t here.”

  “Very well. And I need to send a rider to Inverness,” I said, pulling a scroll from my bag. I had written Macbeth a very formal letter informing him that the Lord of Moray was returning to Cawdor. I outlined the supplies I needed to be sent from Inverness for the winter.

  Standish took the scroll from my hand then nodded. “I’ll arrange everything, my lady.”