Flawed Perfection: A Collection of Winter Wishes

by Ouvrard, Jude

  Three doesn’t sound so bad… I hope. Aubree shivered. Without the heater, the cold had begun to permeate the room.

  “Come here,” Rick urged, grasping her hand and pulling her close, turning her so she sat with her back against his front, right between his legs. He reached around her to unzip her jacket.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded.

  “Sharing body heat,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Turn your jacket backwards.”

  Thinking on his suggestion, Aubree realized he had a point. Working quickly, she stripped off her warm winter coat and dragged it around her body, sticking her arms through the sleeves so its uninterrupted back covered her front. Rick’s marvelous warmth sank through the back of her sweater, and now she bathed in his enticing scent to the point where it almost completely obliterated coherent thought. She stroked her fingers down his arm and touched the strange shapes. “These look like they were made by a paintbrush.”

  “That was the intention,” he replied. “So, if you want to hear my sad life story, settle in. Good thing we have nowhere to go. But get your hands inside the sleeves, Aubree. You lose body heat quickly through your fingers.”

  Obediently she withdrew into the enveloping warmth. He laid the two throw blankets over their laps. “I met Liz’s mother Melinda when I was a kid. We were high school sweethearts. Not sure how we managed not to get pregnant until senior year, but that’s how it worked out. We married just after graduation, and then I went off to the Marines to earn a living.”

  “So it’s a military tattoo?” Aubree guessed.

  “Wrong.” He made a sound like a game show buzzer. “I have the Marine Corps insignia on my upper arm, but visible tattoos are not allowed so these…” he wiggled his fingers before burrowing them under the blankets, “would have gotten me into a lot of trouble.”

  “Ah, okay,” she agreed. “Did you like the Marine Corps?”

  He inhaled and then released the air. “It’s not an easy question to answer. Like war? No, and of course Marine Corps basic training has earned its reputation. But… it’s not about liking after a while. It’s a lifestyle, a mindset. I felt at home there, even when home was a tent on a mountain in Kuwait. I also learned to fix vehicles, and that has been a very important skill. One night, a missile hit the camp, and one of my friends didn’t make it. That’s when I got my second tattoo… the rifle, boots and helmet with his dog tags, on my other arm.”

  Aubree considered the information. When I understand what it’s about, it seems less troublesome. Those are normal ones anybody with his history might have. “Okay, makes sense,” she said, her voice neutral though her busy mind kept processing the information.

  “Then, one day, I got a ‘Dear John’ email.”

  Aubree tensed. “Oh, Lord. She dumped you by computer? That’s low.”

  “I think so too. I was completely blindsided. Apparently she’d met someone – a professor who wanted her to ‘explore her potential.’ I had like a week to arrange care for Liz.”

  “She dumped her daughter?” Aubree’s fingers fluttered to her mouth.

  “Keep those hands covered,” Rick urged mildly, tugging the fabric over her exposed digits. “Yeah, luckily, my parents were willing. I realized I couldn’t be in the military and be a single parent at the same time, so I made my way out of the Marine Corps – which took forever – and began working as a mechanic.”

  He sagged back against the side of the desk.

  “How sad,” Aubree commented. “You must have been devastated.”

  She felt his nod. “It was like getting hit by a rocket. First the impact, then the pain. I felt like I was floating in an ocean of it. No shore in sight. No lifeboat. The whole word went to pieces around me. In the midst of it all, I was desperate for something to cling to. Something real. The only thing I could think of was the Ten Commandments. People might not agree with them, but in themselves they allow no interpretation, no argument, no backpedaling. They’re absolute, and I needed that, and I wanted them on my hands where I could see them every day and remember that there are things that stay the same.” He blew another lungful of hot breath around Aubree’s neck. “I didn’t want to put regular old numbers there, and Roman Numerals might make me look like a gangster, so I asked for the Hebrew numbers.” He pulled his hand out from under the blanket and examined the marks again.

  Aubree traced the elegant brush marks, seeing them in a whole new light. “I understand.”

  “I’m glad you do.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “And I have one more, but it’s huge. I imagine it won’t thrill you, but I don’t regret it.”

  “Tell me,” Aubree begged.

  “It’s a phoenix,” he explained. “Red and gold with purple wings. It looks like a medieval crest, and it takes up most of my upper back. I got that one when Liz graduated from high school. Things were really tough for us both, but we survived. I felt like, my daughter succeeding – with honors, mind you – at such an important life event meant I hadn’t failed. Maybe a phoenix is cliché, but I don’t care.”

  “It’s not a cliché,” Aubree protested. “It’s an archetype. It means something universal about the resiliency of the human spirit. Sounds like a work of art.”

  “I think it is. I went to the best artist I could afford and it looks really professional. They all do. I insisted on it. No getting hammered and sneaking out to some half-bit operation that uses an electric toothbrush.”

  “Smart man,” Aubree murmured. In the drowsy warmth of the dark room, she relaxed, her body sinking into Rick’s. A deep secret even her mother didn’t know slipped from her without her full consent. “I have a tattoo,” she admitted.

  “You do?” Rick straightened. “You, Aubree?”

  “Yes,” she told him. “I got it just after graduation. It’s on my lower back. A ‘tramp stamp’ as they say. Just a tiny rose. It’s my deepest secret.”

  “Interesting, though not true.”

  “Oh?” She glanced over her shoulder.

  “Your deepest secret is that even though you think I’m Mr. Wrong, you can’t resist me.” His hand slid over her breast.

  Her mind urged her to protest, but her needy body leaned into the caress, offering her fullness to his touch. “You’re mighty sure of yourself,” she commented tartly.

  He wriggled his fingers under her sweater and into her bra. She made no move to stop him. “What’s this? A hard nipple? Why Ms. Melville, I’m shocked.”

  “Why?” she demanded. “I already told you I want to sleep with you.” He tugged the tender bud and she moaned. “Are you planning to put out after all?”

  “Nope,” he said cheerfully. “I haven’t changed my mind. I’m not saying I’ve been celibate since my wife left me, but I’ve never done casual, and I don’t aim to start with the most promising woman I’ve met in years. If we’re a couple, then yes. If not, you’ll have to find your own satisfaction.”

  “What makes you think you can satisfy me?” Aubree shot back, even as she wriggled against the delicious pressure he was exerting on the tip of her breast.

  “You wound me, madam,” he intoned, teasing her with flippant comments even as he teased her body with enticing touches. “Hot as you are for it, Ms. Melville, I think satisfying you is a foregone conclusion, even if it is too damn cold to get naked.” He released her nipple and stroked down her belly, until he finally found the waistband of her trousers.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, even as she unfastened the button, giving him access to her more delicate parts.

  “Giving you something else to think about,” he replied succinctly. “You can’t make a decision without all the facts.” His fingers invaded her underpants. “It seems to me there’s some information you seriously need to know.”

  Aubree considered asking what that might be, but then he found her arousal-slicked folds and stroked his way over them, and she decided that banter could take a break for the moment. “So you’re going to show me how good we ca
n be together, but not have sex with me?” she guessed.

  “You’ve got it,” he replied cheerfully as he eased between the outer lips and quickly found her engorged clitoris. “If you want me, you’re going to have to date me, honey, but since we’re here alone in the dark, with nowhere to go, I’m going to give you a reason to think beyond your aversion and consider why I might just be a boyfriend worth making an exception for.”

  The word boyfriend jangled her nerves, but his fingers circled with confident firmness on her needy button and words died completely. Leaning her head back against Rick’s shoulder, bathing in his compelling scent, she received his pleasuring without further comment. The skill in his fingers nearly had her drooling in moments. He knew just where to touch, with how much pressure, and how fast. Aubree bucked her hips and squirmed.

  “Stay still,” he urged. “I don’t want to lose the spot. Is it… here?”

  “Ungh,” Aubree replied in an inarticulate grunt.

  “I’ll take it that’s a yes.” His thumb took over, strumming her clit while two fingers snaked lower. Aubree slumped down and lifted her hips, silently begging him to hurry. His fingers surged into her. Despite the restrictive confines of her pants and undies, Rick managed to penetrate her right to her fullest depth. And then – heavens – he didn’t surge in and out in imitation of intercourse. Instead he homed in on a spot exquisite in its sensitivity, which he stimulated with slow, tickling pressure, never easing up on her clit.

  Wild cries battered against the back of Aubree’s teeth, but emerged as squeaks and whines as Rick urged her closer to her orgasm. A soft, wet touch on her temple barely registered, even as it repeated along her cheek, ear and jaw. He’s kissing me, she realized at last, though her brain fought rational thought, preferring to focus on the wild pleasure Rick elicited from her body. He wants me to know that he cares for me, and this touch is part of that caring. If we have sex, that will be part of his caring too. Not just a means to scratch and itch.

  Overwhelmed, Aubree tensed as pleasure coiled tight inside her belly. Her knees locked. Her teeth clenched. “That’s it, baby,” he whispered, tracing the edge of her ear with his tongue. “So close. Fly, Aubree. Let go.”

  Ecstasy radiated outward into wild spasms that rocked her head back, surged her hips forward. She shuddered and squealed. Rick showed no mercy, but continued to stimulate her until he had wrung every last drop of pleasure from her and reduced her to a boneless heap.

  She waited for him to make another comment, to push his point about their irresistible chemistry, but he merely kissed her cheek and then urged her down, rearranging the blankets and jackets so they lay cradled in one another’s arms in a cocoon of delicious, weather-defying warmth and satisfaction. As she drifted toward slumber, Aubree asked, “Shouldn’t I return the favor?”

  “Soon,” Rick promised. “Sleep, Ms. Melville. Tomorrow is a new day.”

  Chapter 4

  As soon as Aubree began to charge her dead cell phone, and before she could even get coffee brewed, message after message began pinging. She sighed, left the Mr. Coffee to do its thing, and hopped in for a quick shower.

  “I’m so glad to be home,” she sang tunelessly, inventing an aimless little melody as she went along. “The night with Rick was too much fun for my peace of mind. What shall I do about that man?” After a quick scrub with soap and shampoo and a much longer date with her toothbrush, she felt restored enough to return to the kitchen and deal with the life that had been put on hold since the previous night.

  “Aubree, call me, please,” her mother’s voice spoke into her voicemail. Next, Michelle, “Where are you? I need to know you’re all right.” They’re only asking because they care, she reminded herself, so don’t be a grouch. She sent a group text to the two of them.

  HOME SAFE AFTER STORM. STUCK AT WORK OVERNIGHT. EVERYTHING IS OKAY. PHONE BATTERY DIED. SORRY FOR NO CALL.

  “Whew,” she sighed, pressing the ‘send’ button. “That’s all they need to know for now.” She grinned, thinking of how she’d passed the time. “I’m so bad. So bad.” Then, as she realized what the next step would have to be, her smile faded. So now what? Do I give up on being single, try being a couple again? I mean, Rick really proved to me last night that he’s a good candidate for it. He’s nice, easy to talk to, and we have similar goals. Damn it, why is this so hard?

  Frustrated with herself, Aubree retrieved a mug from the cabinet, filled it with coffee, and settled in on a kitchen stool, regarding her phone. “I should call someone… but who? I’d call Michelle, but I know what she’d say. Damn it, I hate doubting my sister’s motives.” Aubree thought of her mother and rolled her eyes. “No help there.” As the caffeine permeated her brain, at last she realized the most balanced person she knew was only a phone call away. A quick glance at the clock revealed Nancy was likely on her lunch break, and took a chance on dialing the number.

  “Yo,” her friend said, pretending to sound like New York.

  “Hiya, Nance,” Aubree replied, faking a bumpkin accent. “How’s life in the big city?”

  “Oh, Aubree, Aubree,” she could practically hear her friend shaking her head. “Never come here, country mouse. You’ll be eaten alive.”

  “Sounds like fun,” Aubree shot back, her synapses finally firing.

  “Dirty girl.” Nancy giggled. “But seriously, are you okay? I heard about the storm out your way and I bet ten to one you did not open your office.”

  “And you would win that bet,” Aubree agreed. “It’s still below freezing, and most of the roads are not safe to drive, at least, not unless you have a friend with a big, heavy truck.” I hope Rick got home okay. I should call him next, but first I need to know what to say.

  “I’m not following,” Nancy complained. “What has a truck got to do with anything? Aren’t you at home?”

  “Yeah,” Aubree said, “but I only got here about an hour ago. I was stuck overnight with a certain sexy, tattooed mechanic who recently moved to town and saved my ass when my car finally crapped out for good.”

  “Oh, dang,” Nancy breathed. A soft slapping sound suggested she’d hit herself on the forehead. “Did you hit that, you tart?”

  “No.” Aubree pouted. “I offered, but he refused. Apparently, Mr. Sexy isn’t into casual. I can only get into his pants if I agree to date him, publicly. At least give a relationship a chance.”

  “Ouch. Is he pressuring you?” Nancy demanded. “I know you’re not keen on dating at the moment.”

  “I don’t think he is,” Aubree said slowly, thinking out loud. “I mean, he didn’t try any pressure tactics. We talked, that’s all. He said if we did the ‘friends with benefits’ thing he’d feel like a dirty secret, and he didn’t like that.”

  “Huh.” Nancy grunted into the phone. “Unusual fellow.”

  “That’s for sure,” Aubree agreed. “Now I don’t know what to do.”

  “And so you called you friend for advice? I’m touched. Just call me the relationship fairy.” Nancy giggled.

  “All right, fairy, what the hell do I do? I’m so confused. I mean, he’s nice to talk to, friendly and smart, and a self-starter and business owner. But he reminds me so much of my dad, and that confuses my senses. When I look at him, I want to run away, but when I touch him… smell him. God, he’s a good kisser….”

  “Whoa there, girl,” Nancy interrupted. “I thought you said you didn’t get any.”

  “I didn’t get any intercourse,” Aubree explained. “I got plenty of other goodies. Enough to confuse the issue even further. He said he wanted me to have enough information to make a decision.”

  “So he cheated,” Nancy snarked. “Bastard.”

  “Well, hey, though,” Aubree cut in. “If the kisses… and the rest sucked, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, now would we? So what do I do with a man who’s all wrong for me… except that he feels and smells and tastes totally right?”

  “You know, he doesn’t actually sound wrong for you,�
� Nancy said, thoughtful again. “You’ve admitted as much. You said he was friendly, nice and a business owner, which shows a certain ambition. What more are you looking for? And don’t say a sharp look. Do you think Javier impressed me with his undeniable sexiness right out of the gate? Honey, he’s a nerd. I almost didn’t notice him until he made it impossible for me to ignore the attraction between us. A person’s looks grow on you if their behavior and character make you want to be around them. I’m sure you’re a big enough girl to look beyond a beard and some tattoos and see the man inside, if he’s a man worth seeing.”

  “I think I already did,” Aubree admitted, pouting. “Damn it, why isn’t this simple?”

  “Maybe it is, and you’re just complicating it in your mind,” Nancy suggested. “Maybe if you get out of your head, out of being hung up in your mother’s expectations and your father’s passive ways, it will become totally obvious what you’re supposed to do. Can you try that?”

  Aubree tried, but her mother’s gloating face would not leave her mind. “I can’t,” she wailed.

  Nancy sighed. “Maybe moving home wasn’t a great idea for you. I know it’s easy to start a business where everyone knows you, but now you have to listen to your family way too often. Tell you what, here’s another idea. Just date the guy. It’s not like you’re marrying him tomorrow – or ever. Let the future bring what it will. It’s a test to see if you can stand it. If you can’t, at least you gave a really promising guy a fair shot.” Nancy paused, then added, “And before you say anything, no, you don’t owe anyone a shot just because he’s nice or whatever. I’m suggesting it because you don’t know what you want, but if you push him away too much, you won’t have the opportunity to find out.”

  Aubree blew out between her lips. “I see the value in that. I still cringe at the thought of being out on a date with a hipster, but then I feel like a silly bitch.”

  “Well, if you feel like one, you’re probably acting like one,” Nancy pointed out. “Is he gross? Smelly? Has rotten teeth? Oh, wait, you said he smells good and is a good kisser, so I’m guessing he’s got decent hygiene.”