"Cramp," I said, nonchalantly.
The driver met my eyes and I licked my lips seductively. He quickly looked back at the road and I smiled.
"Damn it, you tore me up."
"Cat scratches," I said, looking at the deep wounds as they bled. I hope that scars. "They’ll heal. I’ll put something on them when we get home."
Pretending to fall asleep, I rested my head on Jeremy's shoulder. Faking soft breathing, I waited for him to pull out his phone. As if it was in the script, he finally lived up to my expectations of him.
Jeremy: Crazy bitch ruined the trip. Huge mess to clean up. See you tomorrow. Early. I don't need any drama. Be sexy and waiting.
Ginger: I will, babe. Xoxo
Any guilt I felt lifted. Jeremy would have to deal with the consequences of his choices, as I would deal with mine.
Chapter 10
By the time we arrived home, it was four in the morning. My fake sleep turned real and I slept until we pulled up to our building. Jeremy woke me and I silently followed him through the lobby. It felt like the walk of shame. Safe in our home, we slipped out of our clothes and climbed into bed. We slept on opposite sides of the bed. I didn't want to be with Jeremy anymore but he had never given me space like this before. It hurt even though I didn't want him.
After lying in bed for the longest hour of silence I had ever felt, Jeremy got up and grabbed some clothes from his drawer. I didn't watch to see what else he grabbed. I knew where he was going. I knew he probably had clothes at her condo. I didn't care. When he left the penthouse early in the morning without a word, I quickly showered and dressed. I brought the bag with my disguise with me. I would still go to the gym and wait for Ginger but first, I needed to see Thomas.
Thomas greeted me with open arms and a cup of coffee. "Jacob has just baked some muffins. Come sit and tell me everything." What is it with everyone baking muffins?
At age fifty, Thomas was five feet, nine inches and about forty pounds overweight and complete opposite of Jacob, who was thirty-two, six feet, two inches and lean but no one could argue that they weren't a perfect couple.
As I told the men what had happened this weekend, they listened patiently for me to finish.
"Caitlyn, I can't believe you did that. You vixen," Jacob laughed.
"I know. I have no idea what came over me. Honestly, it was like a house of horror in his pants. I was afraid what I was going to find," I sighed. "Vicki got the better deal with Jeremy as a lover."
"Well, I have a way to speed up your plans of getting out. What would you say to writing a book? This would be a unique opportunity. A wealthy old lady has reached out to me. She wants someone to pen her memoirs of her salacious life. She wants it to be a ghost writer who tells the story. She wants to get credit for being the author. The catch is that she wants you to come to her home and be her scribe," Thomas informed me.
"Why me? I haven't written anything," I questioned.
"She asked for a female. Check. Someone that had a strong publishing career. Check. And someone who didn't have a husband and kids to distract her. Check. Check," Thomas said, dramatically checking his points off in the air.
"What about…?" I began to argue why I was not qualified.
"Stop. You are my best editor. I know you can finish the two manuscripts you have left and be ready to head off to The Big Sky Country," Thomas said with a fake cowboy accent.
"You know they don't speak like that in Montana. Your Texas accent is way off," I laughed.
"Caitlyn, Vivian Wolf is a character. She had made her fortune as a burlesque dancer, a stage actress and from her many marriages. She said she left each marriage by burying and inheriting or by divorcing and collecting enormous cash settlements. She’s a delight. If I could write, I would be there in a hot minute." Thomas grinned.
"It sounds like the perfect arrangement, Cait," Jacob said buttering a muffin and handing it to me. "Picture it. You’ll live in a beautiful home in the mountains of Montana. Show her the pictures, honey."
Thomas handed me his phone and I scanned through the screen. The house was a large white house with circular accents. The green property, mountain backdrop and the sparkling pond were tempting. Each photo had a silver haired woman posing. Standing by a chestnut-colored horse, I guessed she was just over five feet tall and it was clear she was a force to be reckoned with. There was something about her green eyes that made me trust her.
When I handed the phone back to Thomas, he smiled. "She wants her ghost writer to come live with her and record her story before she’s taken from this world. You know you’re the perfect person to tell her story. This is your chance for a clean slate."
"You’re right. Tell her I’ll come," I said.
"Can you be ready in one week?" Thomas took my hand and smiled.
"I can. One week, twelve hours, three minutes. Then, I will be free," I said. "I guess I need to tell the lawyer I want him to rush the paperwork."
Chapter 11
I changed into my Justice wardrobe for my last time to perform as the best friend of my husband's mistress'. When I arrived at the gym, I found Ginger running on the treadmill. Her eyes were dark and puffy.
Stepping on the machine next to her, I said, "Hey, Ginger, how was the weekend?"
"Fine."
One-word response? That wasn’t like her. Reaching over the bar, I pushed the buttons to turn her machine to a slower pace. "Come on. Tell me what is up."
Tears began to flow down her face. "It was horrible. He cancelled on me to take his wife on a business trip. He came home early because she had a meltdown and embarrassed him in front of one of his very important contacts. You wouldn't believe what she did."
"I wouldn't?" I asked. Goodie, there is a story. I wonder what I did.
"She jumped up on the table of a nightclub and began taking her clothes off. She tried to get his business friend to have sex with her right there and then. Jeremy was mortified. He had to lead her out of the club half naked. When they were in the cab, she tried to climb over the seat to attack the cabbie. She clawed and scratched poor Jeremy. It was horrible for him and now, his business might be in trouble. He told me I might have to give up my condo and move to a cheaper apartment. He said I might even have to go back to work."
"Oh, Ginger, that is horrible. He really should leave her," I said.
"He won't. He feels responsible. But, J, there’s something even worse I have to tell you," Ginger said, stopping the treadmill and reaching in her bag. She pulled out a manila envelope. The same kind that I had seen showing all of Jeremy's affairs. I held my breath.
"Here, look, it's horrible," she cried. Some women truly were ugly criers.
Slipping the photos out, I forced a gasp of surprise. Flipping through another set of pictures, I saw different women and this time the pictures had a dominatrix. One picture even had two women in it.
"See this?" she said, holding up the photo of him being spanked with a whip. “See the newspaper on the floor. It was two weeks ago. That means he has been with her recently."
Sinking to the floor, she began to sob. "I don't know what I should do. I should go back to Michigan but I love him. I can't leave him. I’m the only good thing in his life. You know, one day, she might even end up killing him."
"I doubt it. Sometimes angry sex gets out of control."
"Oh, no, they weren't having sex."
"Did she scratch his face?"
"Well, no," Ginger paused.
"Oh, honey, a cheat will always be a cheat. You really should get out of that relationship. You deserve better than him," I said. I sincerely meant every word I spoke. "I don't have much money but I have five thousand saved. I would give it to you if that would help you get a fresh start."
"I couldn't take your money," Ginger said, wiping her tears. "Anyway, Jeremy will have to pay for his mistakes and in nine months, he’ll have no choice but to support me."
Stunned, I couldn't even respond. Jeremy had gotten someone pregnant. My
husband was going to be a father and it was not my baby. An odd feeling of anger, relief and pain filled me. In my wallet, I had two thousand dollars. Money I hadn't added to my stash.
"Here. Do yourself a favor. Get on a plane far from here. Meet a nice man and raise your child with him. You don't want to be miserable for the rest of your life," I said, handing her the bills.
"I can't take your money," she argued.
"No, take it as a thank you. You reminded me what’s important to me," I said, hugging her. I hugged Ginger tighter than I thought I would. I really wished a better life for her than with Jeremy.
When I left the gym that day, I hoped Ginger would take the money and run. A part of me knew she would stay and fight for Jeremy. I saw the text messages he had sent. I knew she would never leave him willingly. Maybe I could find a way to help persuade her?
Chapter 12
I returned my costume to Jacob and never went back to the gym. There was no need to for more information. I had all I could handle and more. I didn't need to see Ginger.
Caitlyn: Thank you for sending the pics.
Jack: What pics?
Caitlyn: You know which ones. Thank you.
Jack: She needed to know.
Caitlyn: It doesn't matter anymore. She’s pregnant.
Jack: Poor girl
Caitlyn: I can't worry about her. I am leaving in 7 days.
Jack: Where are you going?
Caitlyn: Montana. I’m going to write a book. Don't worry. I will still be able to edit for you.
Jack: No one would be able to fill your spot. I would quit writing.
Caitlyn: lol :) so hasty. I’ll let you know when I return. Maybe we can pick up where we left off on my tour of Hollywood.
Jack: I would like to see you again. Dinner and dancing. Sweet dreams, Caitlyn.
It made me sad that there was one man that I wanted to spend time with and it was not my husband. Maybe one day, the stars would align and I would get the chance to explore my relationship with Jack. But not this time. Maybe not ever.
Chapter 13
Today was the day. Every day for a week, I had left the house with a gym bag or a dry cleaning bag full of my clothing and valuables. If Jeremy would have looked in my closet, he would have known something was up. Thomas let me put my money in his safe. I trusted my friend to hold my money. I set twenty thousand aside in an envelope and asked Thomas to deliver it to my mom. I set another twenty thousand aside for Thomas and Jacob and told them it was their babysitting fee. Thomas argued that I needed to keep my money but I insisted.
"Bring me the rest when you come visit me," I laughed.
When Jeremy left for work, I didn't ask about his plans for the day. I served him the last breakfast I would ever make him. I made sure to make it the best meal I had ever cooked for him. I had succeeded. He commented on how good the meal was and then, kissed me goodbye.
Stopping with his hand on the doorknob, he said, "Sorry, I’ve been an ass. None of this was your fault. I let my other head get in the way. I’m not sure I will be able to fix the mess I made with Charleston but there are other contacts. Other investors. Can you forgive me?"
"Of course, Jeremy," I lied. "I didn't really want to sleep with Tad. He’s so gross. I just wanted to make you happy. I haven't felt like I have been enough for you for many years."
"You’re more than enough for me, babe," Jeremy said. "I love you."
As the door closed, I stared at the door in shock. Once again, too little, too late. I was not falling for his words. It was just another instance of Jeremy playing with my emotions. I was going to start my new life. Sitting at the table, I knew I had one last loose end to tie up.
Hello Ginger,
We have not been formally introduced. I am the crazy bitch you’ve heard so many wonderful things about. I know you won't believe me but I am; in fact, quite sane. I promise you I have no violent episodes or rages. I have just been in a loveless marriage with a cheater for a very long time.
Do you know what Jeremy does if you confront him about cheating? He throws you away. He cuts off all of your money. He does this to control you. He has set the stage for this punishment by insisting, early in the relationship, that you don't need to have a job. He needs you to be there for him anytime he wants you. Do you know that even as a married woman with no prenuptial agreement, I had to live with my mother for two months until I was willing to apologize to him for confronting him on his adultery?
I spoke to your friend, Justice. She told me about your pregnancy. You and your child deserve better than Jeremy Whitaker. I know what I am giving you is not enough to set you up for the rest of your life but I want you to take it. I can't force you to stay away from Jeremy and start again. However, I encourage you to have a life with someone who loves you and makes you feel proud of yourself. Not a life of Jeremy's domination and second thoughts.
The pictures I sent you were just a taste of my dear husband's flings. You received three months. I could only imagine the album I could put together of all of his affairs. Memories that should be buried and forgotten. Looking back when I am old and gray, I don't want to think I stayed around pretending his wasn't a cheat.
From your pregnancy, it is apparent that Jeremy has become a little sloppy with practicing safe sex. As of today, I can confirm he has not passed on any STDs to me. Today. Let's hope that stays true.
This letter has become a little preachier than I had hoped. I just wanted to send you a friendly warning. No, not a threat. Not a leave my husband alone. Because if you want him, he's yours. But I would say that no amount of money is worth what Jeremy will put you through. I wish you the best, Ginger. Really.
~ Caitlin Chase
I would have the letter and the cash brought to her. The choice she made was now all hers.
This was it. Time was up. I was going to be free. One last letter and I would go. I wasn't going to pretend I had been kidnapped or missing. I was going to leave him a note.
I placed a vase of black roses on the counter with a note below it.
Hey Babe,
I have been waiting for a year to say these words to you. It has been a painful twelve months, knowing the man you really are. I can't wait until I’m no longer connected to a womanizing, business cheat and basically horrible person. The misery you put me through was not worth any of the fine things we had in life. I hope you treat the next one you catch with more respect and love.
The divorce papers are on their way. I didn't want anything from you but my lawyer pointed out that I deserved something for my years with you. You didn't make it to the top alone. Pay me in a lump sum or monthly payments – your choice. This time, I am leaving on my terms.
~ I would sign off "Love, Caitlyn" but that would be damn lie.
I left my wedding band, checkbook, credit cards and the keys on the counter next to the copies of the pictures Jack had taken for me. Of course, my lawyer had a set to help with the settlement but I had no need for them anymore. Today, I was going to put Step 4 into action. I was going to find Caitlyn Chase.
Chapter 14
As the plane lifted off, I felt a sense of relief. I was going to be free. No, I wasn't going to be – I was free. I had flown into a tiny airport on the smallest plane I could imagine. I stepped off the plane onto a tarmac, not to the comfort of a large terminal. The crisp air burned my nose. When I arrived inside the airport, a sign with the words ‘Caitlyn Chase’ scribbled on it was held by a tan, rugged cowboy. He had to be over seventy years old.
Looking around, I felt overdressed in my designer clothing. I had not considered where I was going.
"Are you Miss Whitaker?" the man asked.
"I am," I said, more coldly than I planned. I was not going to tell him that I had a name change.
"I’m Ben Carver. Miss Vivian said you would be staying with us for a while," he explained, warmly. "Do you have any luggage?"
"I do have several bags," I answered. "And there should have been quite a few boxes
sent through the mail."
"Yep, those arrived two days ago. I tucked them safe and sound in your room," he said. "Do you want a cup of coffee or anything while we wait? God only knows how long it will take these guys to get your luggage. Slower than molasses on a good day."
"No thanks. I’ll just go powder my nose."
"Alright then. The bathroom is right over there," he said, pointing. "I’ll get your bags and wait right here for you."
In the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror. I didn't look like a woman who had just left her husband. Fixing my hair and touching up my makeup, I tried to put on a bright smile. Picking up my phone, I sent my first text message to Thomas.
Caitlyn: Where did you send me?
Thomas: To the promised land, dear friend.
Caitlyn: If I go missing, look for a cowboy.
Thomas: Cowboy? How delicious. Let me know if he’s a good lover.
Caitlyn: I am not looking for anything like that T. Besides, he has to be 100!!!
Thomas: Purrfect. =^.^= Old cowboys make excellent lovers but they refuse to take off their boots.
Caitlyn: No thank you. You’re impossible.
Thomas: Pity about the cowboy. There’s something so sexy about spurs. TTFN. Authors are calling.
Shaking my head, I laughed. There was no one in the world who could replace Thomas. I hesitated but sent the next text. It wasn't wise but I couldn't help myself.
Caitlyn: I made it.
Jack: Did you get your honorary cowboy hat? Boots?
Caitlyn: Not yet. I think I’ll be riding in a truck with a real cowboy soon.
Jack: I'm jealous.
Caitlyn: I just wanted to tell you I’m ok and thank you again for everything.
Jack: Anytime, Caitlyn. I am one text away, always.
Caitlyn: :)
Flawed Perfection: A Collection of Winter Wishes Page 45