Holding the phone to my heart, I sighed. No point in hanging onto that feeling. Jack was thousands of miles away and one semi make-out session didn't count as true love. When I composed myself and left the restroom, I found Ben waiting.
"I thought you fell in. I was going to send help," he said.
"I didn't rush. You said it would be a while," I responded.
"They were surprisingly efficient," Ben said. "I think I found your luggage."
"How did you know these were mine?"
"Not many people have such fancy luggage when they come to visit. Plus, it had your name on it." Ben grinned.
Unable to resist, I laughed.
"Well, come on. Miss Vivian will be waiting for you." Ben led me to a black pick-up truck.
"This is what we are riding in?" I asked, eyeing the mud covered vehicle.
"We could walk but I think Miss Vivian would be impatient if we took that long to get you there." He chuckled and held the door open.
Sighing, I pulled myself up into the high truck. Inside, it had the smell of gasoline and Fritos. When we began to drive, I felt a chill run through my body.
"Can we turn on the heat?" I asked.
"Did Miss Vivian not warn you about where you were coming? I hope you have some warmer clothes."
"Where are we going, Ben?"
"Miss Vivian's property is about thirty minutes this way," he said, pointing toward the mountains in the distance. "Lucky for us, there hasn't been a big snowfall."
"What would snow mean?"
"That no one would be going out and you wouldn't be going in." He chuckled.
"So, I am going to be trapped up there?"
"I promise you won't feel trapped when you see Miss Vivian's home."
"What do you do for Miss Vivian?" I asked.
"I’ve been working for her about forty years now. I take care of the property and her horses. We’ve been through a lot together. I’m sure she’ll let you know all about that. Do me a favor and paint her in a good light."
"Of course. This is her story," I said.
"Well, what do you think?" We pulled through iron gates and he drove down a cement path. The property was even more spectacular than the pictures showed. Standing in the doorway was Vivian Wolf. I had been right about her height.
When Ben opened the door and helped me out of the truck, she called to us. "I was wondering if you would make it to us before the storm hit."
"Bah," Ben said, "There is not a cloud in the sky. You better stop watching that channel. You mark my words, no storm is comin' tonight."
She had the brightest green eyes I had ever seen. "I’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about you, Caitlyn. I’m so excited for you to tell my story but, of course, I insist my name is on it."
"Of course," I said. "I couldn't imagine it any other way."
There was something so welcoming about her presence. She was so alive that you just got swept up in her presence.
"Well, I gave Sofia the day off, so I’ve just made us a lunch. Let’s see if Ben can bring your bags up before we eat. He moved the rest up to your suite. I would have unpacked for you but I thought that would be a bit brazen."
"It took everything in you to not go through her bags, didn't it, Viv?" Ben said, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
Swatting him, she said, "Go on. You know I would never go through someone's bags."
She smiled at him and he looked back at her adoringly. As I watched their brief interaction, I thought, Now that's probably part of the story.
"Get her things up to her suite, love," Vivian said, giving Ben a big smile.
"Already on my way," he said.
"Well, hurry up then. I made lunch for us. My famous chicken salad."
He grinned and imitated preparing for a race. With his arms back and his body lunged forward, it looked like he was waiting for the starter gun to go off.
"You, old fool. Go on." She chuckled. "All right, come on in. You must be freezing. You don't even have a jacket. I really didn't prepare you for where you were coming, did I? I’ll get you some warm clothes ordered."
"Well, it’s not that cold yet in California," I said.
"You thought you were coming to the warm weather of California?"
I laughed. "Yes, it’s easy to live in the world of no seasons when you are there."
"Delicious, isn't it? But I think you will grow to love seeing the four seasons here," Vivian said.
"Will I be here long enough to see them all?" I questioned.
"That depends on how good my story is, I guess." Hooking her arm in mine, she said, "I have been waiting ages to meet the famous Caitlyn Chase Whitaker."
"Just Chase, I corrected. "Whitaker was my married name."
"Oh, I know all about married names. As long as they ended with a healthy number of dollar signs after them, I will smile at the sound of their names. Did you see dollar bills at the end of your marriage?"
"Papers have just been sent but I have taken care of myself," I answered.
"That sounds like a story. A lunch conversation or best saved for a nightcap?"
"Definitely a nightcap." I laughed.
Chapter 15
Taking this chance was exactly what I needed. My new life was off to a perfect start. The lunch Vivian made was delicious.
"My boy, Grant, insisted I make my famous chicken salad every Tuesday when he was growing up," Vivian said. I could understand why her son said it was the best. It definitely was the best I had ever had.
"Is he your only child?"
Vivian's eyes grew sad. "Yes, I was blessed to be able to carry him to full-term. The gods had been cruel to me over bringing children into this world but I have my baby boy out of my fourth marriage. The one that I can truly say broke my heart when it ended. Burying Jackson almost killed me until I found out I was pregnant. When my blue eyed baby arrived, I vowed I wouldn't marry again. I had the money I needed to live a rich life and I would never need another man to take care of me again. Now, don't get me wrong, there have been men in my life to satisfy a need or two." Her eyes met Ben's and I, once again, saw something unspoken between them.
"Will I get to meet any of these men?" I asked coyly.
"Oh my, no. There will not be any strange men coming in and out of my sanctuary."
I wondered if she would confide in me later about Ben. For now, I just wanted to enjoy her company and share the story she wanted to tell. My curiosity would need to be on the back burner.
After lunch, Vivian told Ben to bring me to my suite, since she had an appointment with her hairstylist followed by her daily massage.
"I’ll see you for dinner, honey. Make yourself at home and let me know if you need anything," she said.
The room that would be mine was beautiful. It was colorful and bright. Pictures hung on the walls. It was warm and inviting, unlike the home I had come from.
When Ben put down the bags, I decided to cut to the chase. "Are you and Vivian a couple? Watching you, it seems like there’s something there."
His eyes narrowed. "The stories Miss Vivian wants to share are her’s and her’s alone."
"Ben, this isn't for the book. I just saw love between you two. It is clear there’s something there," I said gently.
His face softened. "I love Viv and that is all you need to know."
"I understand. Maybe, one day, you will feel comfortable enough to confide in me?"
Humph was the only thing he said before turning and leaving.
Caitlyn: I am in
Thomas: So glad. That dick, Jeremy, showed up threatening to beat my queer ass if I didn't tell him where you went. Who talks like that nowadays!! Jacob was there to scare the shit out of him.
Caitlyn: OMFG. I am so so sorry!
Thomas: No worries, Cait. Has he contacted you?
Jeremy had sent several text messages I had not read. Thankfully, I had been smart enough to transfer my phone number onto my own plan. He couldn't disconnect my service or use it t
o find me.
Caitlyn: There are messages but I am not answering. TTYL K?
Thomas: xoxo
I sat down on one of the lounge chairs by the window and stared at the mountains. It was peaceful here. I understood why Vivian called it her sanctuary. My mind felt clear. Clear enough to acknowledge I had left a mess that I needed to fix. As much as Jeremy deserved to be hurt, I wasn't a better person for trying to ruin his life.
Caitlyn: Tad, I need you to stop slandering Jeremy's name. If he has to take you to court, I will have to be honest about everything, including your size and stamina. I am not sure you want court documents to be available with that kind of information. It was a mistake and you need to just leave it alone.
Tad: The whole thing was a mess. You’re right. I overreacted. I’ll fix it.
Caitlyn: I’m sorry I dragged you into my sick marriage but it’s over now.
Tad: I want to see you again, Caitlyn. I haven't felt so alive in a very long time. I don't want you to be just a cheap fling. I need to see you again.
Caitlyn: Sorry, Tad. I’m out of the game now. I’m a new woman.
Setting the phone down, I stared again at the clouds floating in the blue sky over the mountain range. There was nothing I could do to change what I had done. I didn't owe Jeremy anything else and revenge left a sour taste in my mouth. One I would never want to try again.
Chapter 16
October flew by. My first fall was truly magic. Trees shed their leaves in California, but it felt different here. It was like the season slowly turned for me. I hoped I would be here for my first winter.
My days were filled. Vivian would only allow one on hour a day to talk about her life and one hour a day for writing. I confessed what I had done to Vivian. She listened without judgement. One day, while I was finishing typing up the chapter about her second husband, she came bouncing in the room. Yes, Vivian was so full of energy that when she was excited, it was like talking to a teenager.
"Do I have a surprise for you," she said dramatically. "A Thanksgiving present."
"It is that time already?"
"Can you guess what your present is?"
"We will be eating turkey," I smirked.
Vivian threw back her head and laughed. "Yes, we’re having turkey and the rest of the spread. Your surprise is that Thomas and Jacob will be joining us."
My heart fell. That meant my mother would be alone on the holiday.
"You don't look pleased. Did you not want to see them?" she asked, patting my hand.
"No, I want to see them. It is just my mom will be . . . "
"Oh honey, did I forget to say your mom was coming with them? What a scatterbrain I am. Grant always said I was the worst at surprises. Who makes such an announcement and forgets to tell the details? I've been talking with Hillary and she is a delight."
Hugging Vivian, I said, "You’re too good to me."
"It has been a blessing to have you here. You brought more life to my home than it has had for such a long time," she said, kissing me on the cheek. "I almost forgot you will finally get to meet my baby boy. He’s flying your family here."
"You didn't mention he was a pilot," I said.
"My boy has many talents, like his mother. He’s a true man of mystery. You’ll love him. We won't be having a Charlie Brown event in my home. Get some sleep and I’ll wake you bright and early."
We called it an early night. Vivian had big plans of baking and prepping for our Thanksgiving feast over the next two days. I knew she would because Vivian had such a big heart and she put it into everything she did. When I first moved in, Vivian had checked on me in the night, tucking the covers around me and even adding another blanket on the really chilly evenings. She had such a sweet soul that I couldn't view her actions as weird.
For some reason, Jeremy filled my mind tonight. I had avoided looking at his text messages, afraid of what he had said and how I would respond. When I last checked, my lawyer said the papers had not been returned yet. Avoiding the issue seemed the best way but I needed to deal with him one day. It might as well be right now. Pulling out my phone, I slowly began to go through the messages.
Jeremy: WTF Caitlin. How long have you been planning this? Was San Diego part of your plan? Fuck up my life and dump me? When did you become such a bitch?
Jeremy: You are crazy if you think you are getting a dime of my money. Tell your lawyer, I have dirt on you, too.
Jeremy: Answer me!!!!
The texts went on several times daily, threatening me and calling me every crude thing he could think of. He even sent pictures of him holding his penis as if that would make me come running home. Sliding through the texts, I stopped on a series of them that started six days ago. These had a different tone.
Jeremy: Babe, I am sorry. I need help. I need you. Please, Cait, come home to me. I will stop it all. No more women. Only you. I'm dying inside without you.
Jeremy: Cait, answer me. Please. I love you.
Jeremy: Fine, you bitch. I signed your papers. Don't try to come crawling back to me. I hope you enjoy your new life. When I’m done telling them what you’ve done, no one will want anything to do with you.
Jeremy: Oh God. I didn't mean those words. It was the booze. I'm a fucking mess without you. I signed the papers but you can come home, babe. Remember our last night? Remember how good we are together.
Setting the phone down, I stared out at the night sky. How do you respond to someone who’s such a narcissist? I had been at peace. I shouldn't have read his messages. It really just reopened my old wounds. I had been so broken for so long. I had always felt I had to be the perfect woman, when in reality, I was far from that. For the past year, I had denied the fact that I had once loved Jeremy. There had, at one time, been something good in him that made me want to be with him. What had changed, sending us off into this spiral? How could you love someone so much one moment and then forget they existed the next?
Caitlyn: You know we’re NOT good together. There has been too much damage done by both of us. You have a family to take care of now, Jeremy. You have a chance to be a good man. Invest your energy in Ginger and your child. She loves you even though you probably don't deserve her love. You don't have to break someone you love to keep them. I want to forget the last five years. I want to remember the Jeremy I met in San Diego. The man I fell in love with. The man who left my heart a long time ago. Goodbye, Jeremy.
Checking my email, I smiled as I saw the confirmation I needed. The lawyer wrote, "Jeremy Whitaker has agreed to all terms of the divorce papers. The papers were filed on November 13."
I would be a free woman in April. California's six-month waiting period meant the divorce would be final in the spring. A perfect time for a new life to begin. I slept like a baby that night. I didn't even wake when Vivian came in to add another blanket.
Chapter 17
As promised, Vivian woke me up bright and early. "Come on, sleepyhead. We have a lot of baking to do this morning before our guests arrive.” She insisted I get ready before joining her. By the time I made it to the kitchen, Vivian and her housekeeper, Sofia were mixing, rolling and chopping.
"Sorry, I took so long. Where do I start?" I asked.
"Grab an apron and start coring and peeling apples," Vivian said, beaming brightly at me. "You look very pretty today, Caitlyn."
"Thank you, Vivian," I smiled back. "You look lovely, as always."
She was so excited about everything we were cooking and made sure to tell me how much her son loved each recipe. "With our head start on the feast, we will be able to enjoy the day tomorrow."
I was intrigued to meet this man she spoke so highly of. I couldn't imagine a son of Vivian's not being as great as she described. "I can't wait. My mother hasn't been on a trip since my father died," I said.
"That’s so sad. She’s so full of life and has more to experience," Vivian said.
"I can't imagine having any more life than you, Vivian," I said, kissing her on the cheek and steal
ing one of the raspberries she had just washed.
"Save those for my cheesecake," she complained.
Laughing, I began chopping the pecans she insisted we needed for her crumble cake. "The nuts are chopped. What is my next task?"
"Flour, brown sugar, butter and some more brown sugar and butter and then the recipe will be great," she chuckled. "If we have time, I want to make a coconut cake. No holiday is complete without coconut."
She was a baking whirlwind. The rich aromas of cinnamon, vanilla and spices filled the air. It smelled like the holidays. I truly had so much to be thankful for this year. Sofia started prepping the various salads Vivian insisted were necessary.
"Sofia's potato salad is the best!" Vivian declared.
"We’re going to have so much food you’ll have to roll us out of here," I said. "There’s so much food for just us."
"I was thinking we need to bake a few more things," Vivian said seriously.
"Really? There are only nine of us." Counting off on my fingers, I said, "Thomas, Jacob, Mom, me, your son, Ben, Sofia and her husband. Am I counting wrong?" I counted again.
"Sweetie, Thanksgiving is more than our small group. Last count we were at thirty-six," Vivian said.
"Thirty-nine," Sofia corrected.
"Right, thirty-nine. We might need to invite one more to make it an even number," she said. "Sweet-n-sassy, I almost forgot the chocolate chip cookies. Those are Grant's favorites."
"I can't wait to meet your son. You have so many nice things to say about him and I can't imagine how a son of yours would be anything but amazing," I said.
"He is pretty special. He’s a lot like his father. I think he has the best of both of us inside him," she said, as she mixed the cookie dough.
As the cookies baked, we sipped coffee and talked. Vivian told me stories about her last husband, Jackson but I didn't take notes. This felt like it was too special to write about. It didn't feel like it was for the world to hear. Maybe, later, she would share it again and it would be recorded but for now, it was just between friends.
Flawed Perfection: A Collection of Winter Wishes Page 46