Dedicated

by Clara Jenkins

  “Kayley?” he said, thinking he was seeing things. He didn’t believe she was here. He knew that the girl wanted to go into nursing, but a nurse at a military hospital? He didn’t know if she could take it.

  “Hey there Norman. Been a while,” she said.

  “Oh it sure has. It’s great to see you again,” he said.

  He patted the area next to him, and when she looked at the other nurses, they backed away. They knew that Kayley knew this man, so they’d let her take care of him for the duration of his hospital stay.

  “Well, looks like you got yourself into some trouble,” she pointed out.

  “That’s putting it nicely. Accidentally fell off a cliff during a scuffle. Fucking hurt when I hit the ground. I’m surprised I didn’t die, let alone break my back. By the way, how bad is the damage? I would love to go back to the front lines again,” he said.

  She looked. This hospital was for the ones that wouldn’t be seeing action again. He probably wouldn’t be heading back.

  “I don’t know if you will get to go to the front lines again Norman. Usually, if someone comes in here, they’re here until they’re healed and then transferred to non-combat positions,” she said.

  The look on his face said it all. He felt dismayed.

  “Oh. This was the only thing I looked forward to. Guess it’s time to rethink my decisions in life,” he said.

  “Well, you don’t have to worry about that right away Norman. Truthfully, you’ll be here for a bit. The injuries are pretty bad, and they want to make sure that you’re able to handle surgery beforehand,” Kayley explained.

  Norman looked frustrated.

  “Guess my dad won’t be too happy,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” she asked. Why would he be upset?

  “Well, he married this new woman, and I mean, I didn’t get a chance to go to the wedding, but I promised I’d make him proud. Now look at me. I’m a mess. I’m in a goddamn hospital because of everything, and I feel like a failure,” he said.

  She pitied him. But there was something else on my mind that bothered her far more.

  “Wait a second… did you just say your father got remarried?” she asked him.

  “Yeah. To some woman named Sandra. Why?” he asked.

  She paused, looking at him with a glance. She thought her hunch was correct.

  “Sandra Keenly? That’s my mother,” she said.

  The sudden realization that they were not only good friends, but stepsiblings started to flood in, and soon, Kayley realized that while the feelings were there, it did manage to make everything far messier than she cared to believe.

  Chapter 2

  Kayley looked at him with a shocked expression.

  “Wow. Just wow,” I said.

  “Yeah. I never imagined that the girl I used to hang out with and had a huge crush on back in high school would turn out to be my stepsister. What a coincidence. I didn’t want to believe that this was actually real, until my father sent me pics of the wedding. Did you hear that they went to some island to get married, and they didn’t even really care that we weren’t there? Unless you went or something,” he said.

  “I didn’t. I couldn’t get the time off. When I told my mom, she didn’t seem to care. I guess she just thought that it would all be some sort of show, mostly because I never saw them except on special occasions and the like,” she replied. She did feel slightly hurt she wasn’t able to attend, but at the same time, it made her feel less attached to the marriage. Which made the feelings she had for Norman a bit easier on her.

  When she looked at Norman, in essence, nothing changed. He was still a handsome brunette man with piercing blue eyes, a toned and muscular body that only hardened with time. He was the same man as in high school. He always worked to impress his father, which was something Kayley admired all that time. It made sense that he’d be devastated hearing he might not see action ever again, but Kayley didn’t want him to despair. She wanted him to be happy.

  “Listen Norman. I may not be able to get you back to the front lines, but I’ll be here to help you. That’s my job now. I mean, even though we’re technically stepsiblings, you were my friend first and that second. That’s honestly how I’m going to treat the marriage my mother and your father are in. My mother stopped really caring what I did once I got a job. She doesn’t really like the military, but if needed, I can always leave,” she said.

  “That’s good. Yeah, it just sucks that my dad will probably give me shit for this. Oh well, you win some and you lose some,” he said.

  “Let’s talk about something else. How about how you’ve been since high school? I mean, I just went into nursing and the like,” I said.

  “I’ve been okay. Got an education after joining the military and serving for two years. After that, I felt like the military was my calling, so I went back in. I know I’m getting there, and I probably didn’t have much time left, but still sucks I’ll probably be transferred and shit. But, I’ve mostly been alone. Kind of felt lonely,” he said.

  She felt the same way. Kayley never had the time to date due to her job. Working as a nurse meant she had to be on call all the time, and if it was an emergency, she would have to drop everything. Most people weren’t too keen on hanging out, let alone dating her with that kind of schedule.

  “I feel you on that. Kind of been on the same boat. But, I’m sure we’ll keep each other company, and I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other sooner rather than later,” I told him.

  “Yeah for sure. You know, having you around will make the idea of staying in this goddamn place so much more tolerable,” he said with a joking laugh.

  However, those words hit her hard. She didn’t know she had so much bearing on the man’s sanity. He seemed brighter already, even from just having her in the room. She smiled, holding his hand and squeezing it.

  “We’ll get through this. I’ll help nurse you back to health,” she told him.

  “Thank you,” he replied.

  Kayley didn’t take any other patients, spending her time with Norman. She explained that he was her stepbrother, and most of the practitioners got that. Her boss seemed a bit flustered considering all the men they were getting, but he allowed her to take care of him and be his personal nurse. She felt happy to be taking care of the guy.

  Truthfully, she didn’t feel like his stepsister. It felt more like they were just close friends, seeing each other after all that time. It was almost exhilarating seeing him now, especially since she could tell he would get better.

  The first few days were her mostly getting the guy stabilized. Most of the time, it was getting food and fluids into him, changing sheets, getting rid of the bedpan and helping him go to the bathroom. The two of them talked, and Kayley felt a weird sense of intimacy with the guy. He seemed so real, so logical, and Kayley wanted nothing more than to spend her time with him.

  The first surgery he would have done was for his ribs, which was done almost immediately. They didn’t want to leave him like that for too long, and Kayley felt relieved by that. He did have trouble walking and getting around, so seeing him being carted off to surgery after all this time felt almost relieving in a way. She had a feeling of giddiness that made her start to wonder what her feelings for Norman were.

  Did she like him as more than just a friend? Or was this just her imagination? She didn’t really know. She never really indulged in the taboo thoughts that she had, especially for him. He being her stepbrother did make it a bit worse, and she was also his nurse too. She didn’t want to let these feelings go, but at the same time, she didn’t know what to do about them, other than to let them passed. She hoped they would go away, but as she moved on, she realized that this wasn’t going to get any better.

  Chapter 3

  For the next week or so, Kayley stayed with Norman. Even during her off times, she stayed in his room. She started to spend most of her days there, but it wasn’t boring. In fact, it was almost like old times.

>   “Man, I can’t believe you’re still into that!” she cried out, seeing that he kept some of his Monsterman cards on hand.

  “Hey, Monsterman is a great game, and I was actually one of the best players in my platoon. I taught some of the others to play, and we even get care packages from some of the people that support us that have them in there. It’s pretty awesome,” he said.

  “Yeah, it is cool. I’m glad you get help,” I said.

  “I mean, you’re way more helpful than any care package, I’ll say that,” he said with a glint in his eyes. The blush on her face said it all, and the two of them sat there almost awkwardly, trying their best to not fall victim to their feelings at the moment.

  “Say, uh, Kayley, I have a question for you,” he said.

  She looked at him, wondering just what in the world might happen next.

  “Sure. What is it?” I asked.

  “Did you go into military medicine because of me? Did you know that I was here?” he asked.

  She tensed. She honestly didn’t, but finding him here was an extra bonus.

  “No. I love being here and all, but I actually went in initially because I wanted to help people. The hospital that I originally applied to was full, so they referred me here. I’ve seen a lot, but I’ve also worked miracles in a sense. I’ve helped some men get back on their feet, getting them to function in their daily lives even with two strikes against them. It’s hard, but I’m know that the work I’m doing is satisfying,” I said to them.

  “But do you feel like you can take more of this? I mean, I know that it’s definitely hard on you, but how can you really be here all the time, seeing all of this sadness?” he asked.

  She felt a pause start to form in her mouth. She didn’t know what to say.

  “I hate how sad it is. I really would love to transfer, but I don’t have a reason to. Here, I get to work alone, spend time with fewer people, and it’s actually not that bad. This is the life that I’ve been living for the longest time, and it’s definitely a nice one,” I said.

  “I see. I’m just thinking because you’re an amazing woman. You’ve done so much work for yourself that it hurts to see you sad like this,” he said, blushing madly.

  She tensed, looking up at him, seeing that she saw the glint in his eyes.

  “Do you think I should leave?” she asked.

  “I think eventually you should do what you feel is right. I’m honored to have you here with me, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he said, smiling excitedly as he looked at her.

  The look he gave her made her heart thump, her body start to ache for him, and in truth, the crush that she had on him seemed to not go away at all.

  “You know, being around you hasn’t changed anything, really,” I said.

  “I know. It feels really nice. I’m glad that things haven’t changed either. I’ve feared that,” he said.

  The two of them shared another awkward pause, and that’s when she sighed.

  “I don’t want it to change. Finding you again is almost magical, like there is some god up there wanting to shine down on us. I don’t believe in religion, but it is nice to know that maybe, just maybe, someone is out there watching us,” she said.

  “Indeed. But yeah, it seems most hasn’t changed since high school. You’re honestly still as cute as I remember you to be,” he said.

  She blushed, pushing her hands through her red hair, trying her best to awkwardly straighten up her skirt and the like.

  “I’m surprised that you I was cute and such,” she told him.

  “What, you are. I mean, I have to admit, I’ve had a major crush on you. It’s been there for a good while,” he told her.

  The two of them awkwardly tried their best to hold back the feelings. She would love to kiss him right then and there, and she was sure that he wanted to as well, but she shook her head.

  “I’m not sure Norman. I want to, but it’s not just our parents. I mean, I could probably try to shield them from this, but it’s also the entire base. They’re still looking at us with suspicion, so they’re definitely keeping a good eye on me,” she admitted.

  He seemed to understand, slightly depressed by that.

  “I see. Well, let’s see where this goes. I know that the base does frown upon relationships like this, and I get that, but honestly, I’m really happy to have you around. Nothing has changed, and the fact that you’re here, taking care of me, is enough. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to figure it all out when the time is right,” he said.

  She then started to blush again, thinking about the potential this had. She could stay with him, she could finally indulge in the feelings she had during high school, with the man that she’s always thought about. She never did find anyone else that made her feel the way that he did, and as she sat there, she flushed.

  “I’ll think about it. For now, we will need to keep this under the radar, away from the people here. They know about me, so it’s obvious that I don’t want to bring too much attention to myself,” she said.

  “I get that. I’ll keep my hands to myself as well,” he replied.

  She left the room, feeling flushed and sweaty. She so badly wanted to act on these feelings, but she knew that she couldn’t. It would ruin everything, and she didn’t know what to do if she gave in. She wanted to, but she was still torn.

  Chapter 4

  About three weeks passed, and soon, he went in for another surgery. He was a trooper, and when they popped everything back in place, she knew that he would be leaving soon.

  It felt like no time at all. She wanted to spend more time with him, to be with him no matter the odds, but she knew that he would have to move on. It wouldn’t be right away, but once he got the medical clearance and he could walk again, they might bring him away.

  However, he was sitting and moving around in bed like a normal man. He did some physical therapy, but he would need a lot more since it did throw his spine slightly out of whack. But one night, when everyone else was asleep, the two of them sat there, looking at one another.

  She could feel the thump in her heart. She didn’t want to leave, and neither did he. The two of them looked at each other, and soon, she spoke.

  “I’m going to miss you,” she said.

  “I am as well. You know, you’ve awakened something in me, something that I thought wasn’t there before. These last few weeks with you, hell these last two months we’ve spent together, they’ve been almost magical. You’ve helped me so much, both mentally and physically, that I honestly can’t thank you enough,” he said.

  She nodded, feeling her heart skip a beat.

  “I don’t want to leave you,” she finally said.

  He looked at her with an incredulous gaze, and then finally, she felt the tears dot her eyes.

  “I don’t want to leave you Norman. I’ve already left you once. We haven’t seen each other for years. But it feels like only yesterday. When I was with you in high school, I know I was young and my hormones were out of control, but I was happy. I wanted to express those feelings to you for a long time, and I know that I’m bad with them, but I want to be with you. once again,” she finally said.

  Kayley knew that her blundering hormones and awkwardness in the past stopped her from truly expressing herself. She would be a damn liar if that wasn’t the case. He looked at her, seeing the slight agony on her face. He wiped the tears from her eyes, seeing how they gazed upon her.

  “You don’t want to leave this, do you? You want to act on the feelings you’ve held on to for a long time, don’t you?” he said.

  She looked at this man, this goddamn attractive man that was mere inches from her face. She’d be a damn fool to give this up, that’s for sure.

  “I don’t want to leave this. I know that if I do, I may never get a second chance. You’re perfect for me. It’s weird to say that I’ve fallen for you, but I’ve realized that since nothing has changed, all of the feelings that I have are still there. I’ll figure everything out e
ventually, especially in regards to my own future, but there is one stable force there that I don’t want to go away. I want you to stay. I want you to be a part of my life,” she admitted to him with a flush.

  He leaned in, moving his body slightly, cupping her face in his hands, touching it there.

  “Then how about tonight we just let it all go. I mean, I can see right now that you’ve thought about this for a while,” he said.

  She nodded. “I have, but I’m scared,” she said.

  “Just relax. Let’s see where this takes you. I’ll tell you right now, that your feelings are valid, and in truth, I feel the same way,” he said with a smirk.

  Before she knew it, his face was inches away from hers. The fluttering in her heart, the fact that these feelings might finally be fulfilled, the fact that her dream of being with her best friend from back in the day, now her stepbrother that she harbored feelings for, it was all almost overwhelming. But she wanted this, and she knew that he did as well. Before she knew it, he pressed his lips to her own, giving her the kiss that he knew they both wanted.

  It was amazing, it was tantalizing, and for Kayley, she knew this was right. Of course, she knew that she couldn’t let these feelings go. She tried too many times in the past, but she knew it was foolish and impossible.

  When they pulled away from one another, Kayley flushed, feeling her heart skip a beat.

  “I want this. I want you. I know that it’s wrong, but I’ve seen my share of death, dying, and moments where men wished they could do something more. I don’t want to live my life like that. I want to seize the moment, to indulge in the feelings that I know I possess. I’m nervous, but I want to do this,” she said.

  He pulled her closer until she was on top of him. She was happy that she locked the door, just in case someone heard them.

  “Then allow me to take care of you tonight. You can lie right next to me, and I’ll show you everything I’ve wanted to show you since we left high school,” he said.

  She did, moving next to him and feeling her body heat up. This was it. This was what she had been waiting for. When she looked at him, she could see the determination in his eyes, the desire to have her, to take her, and to make sure the was kept the perfect woman that he knew she was to him.