Crave

by Karen E. Taylor

  He took my hands and pressed them up against his temples, then put his hands on mine. “Here,” he said, “relax a bit. Open your mind and I will show you his.”

  It was like the experience I’d had with the woman on the bus, but much more intense. And Victor knew exactly where to go. He had indeed already planted the dream, my dream, the one of my grave and death and the hatred of one woman. “Pour yourself into him, Lily,” Victor whispered. “Take all your hate and all your anger and make him feel it.”

  We both felt his panic, his fear. When he woke the contact was broken, but Victor smiled. “Well done, Lily. You are a natural.”

  I’d brought my entire stock of Angelo’s medicines with me one day and we tested them on Victor. Some turned out to be totally useless, but others worked well enough to be added to my arsenal. We already knew that the disguise potion worked fairly well, and the scent-killing one was determined a success when a blindfolded Victor couldn’t detect me. And I’d done some of my own testing, sneaking a few drops of the control liquid into his wine. He’d sipped and smiled. “But I have already agreed to help you, Lily. Surely this kind of coercion is unnecessary.”

  Victor thought, and I agreed, that the best route to my mother was through Mitchell Greer. He laughed about this. “Love is one of the most dangerous emotions a vampire can permit herself. It gives your enemies power over you. And no matter what you may say of her, your mother loves. Not wisely, perhaps, but with her whole being. It is, to be honest, an emotion that has mostly evaded me. With one or two exceptions.” Victor’s eyes clouded over, as they often did when he would allow himself to think of the past. His pain in this became my pain. I had lost so many people I had loved, and somehow the blame for them all ended up transferred to my mother.

  At the end of the two weeks, I knew much of her life and hated her more than I ever had. Victor admitted that I was probably as well prepared as I would ever be. He’d managed to work a little financial magic as well, by arranging to have all of my mother’s accounts transferred to accounts that I could access. “In some cases,” he said, “this would have been impossible. But your mother has never been cautious with her money; it was never an obsession with her. Max had been involved in so many of her financial deals, and therefore the Cadre had full access as well. And I am not without friends outside these hallowed halls; I was able to call in a few old debts. As a result, you are now an extremely rich young lady and your mother is totally destitute. For some, this would be revenge enough.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. It was my final test.

  “For some, yeah. But if money doesn’t matter to her, I haven’t accomplished anything, have I?”

  He smiled. “I think you are ready, Lily. I am, in a way, rather disappointed that you proved such a good student. I will miss our meetings. You have brought renewed life to this old man.”

  I looked at him. “Old?” As ever, he was impeccably dressed and exuded a power that was almost palpable. I crossed the room and stood in front of him. “You aren’t old, Victor. You’re just temporally challenged, like me.”

  He laughed at this. “Oh, such a politically correct answer from my young rebel.” He kissed my forehead and on impulse, I threw my arms around him and kissed him on the mouth.

  I was unprepared for his reaction. And mine. During the time we’d gotten to know each other, he had been teacher and I had been student and there was no crossing that line. We’d had no physical contact past that first time when I was pretending to be my mother.

  But now, there was no pretending, no mistaking the complicated emotions of the two people caught in this kiss. Now, no obstacles stood between us, for he had been inside my mind as I had been inside his. I pressed myself closer to him and deepened the kiss, uncaring of the fact that his canines had grown, caring only that I was here and with him. A rush of hunger emanated from him. And something else, something more important, something I didn’t understand.

  Then he slammed a wall over his mind and the kiss ended. I staggered back from him, breathing heavily, wiping my bloody lips with my hand.

  “Damn it, Lily, why did you do that?”

  “I wanted to, Victor. Besides, you wanted it too. You can’t deny it; I felt it.”

  “Forget about it, Lily. It didn’t happen. I can’t allow it. What we have is nothing more than a business deal. I’ve helped you and you’ve helped me. Don’t expect anything else.”

  “But . . .”

  “No. Listen to me. Go and do what you have to do. Just don’t get yourself killed, little one. For that death would be on my shoulders and I couldn’t bear it.”

  “I won’t die, Victor. I promise. Besides, I’m not sure I can.”

  He pushed me away gruffly. “Don’t get too self-assured, Miss. Everyone can die.”

  I began to walk away. “Wait, Lily,” he called after me. “I almost forgot to give you these.”

  He held out his hand, showing me two small capsules.

  “What is it?”

  “Amitriptyline. It’ll stop any vampire cold. But don’t use it unless you need to, emergencies only. I’d rather no one knew that I knew about its effects.” He smiled as I took the pills and stashed them in my pocket. “Remember, it doesn’t pay to reveal all your secrets. Ever.”

  “Good-bye, Victor.” I kissed him on the cheek. “And thanks.”

  Chapter 19

  I didn’t bother to pack any of my new clothes; instead I had the hotel box and ship them to New Orleans. If all went as Victor and I had planned, I wouldn’t need them. All I needed was what I’d brought with me. And two sets of plane tickets. One to get from here to Maine. And two seats on the privately chartered jet from Maine to New Orleans.

  As I settled into the seat in the first-class cabin, I sighed and smiled. This flight was a far cry from the bus trip to New York. I owed Victor a great debt of thanks for all of this. That he insisted his motives were not out of care for me, but out of hate for my mother, didn’t bother me. He’d been useful and I was thankful.

  I wrapped myself up in the airline blanket, leaned back against my pillows, closed my eyes and attempted to touch Victor’s mind, as he had taught me to touch Mitch’s. Contact was made almost immediately. He was sleeping and I smiled. Our two weeks together had been incredibly intense, and I realized now that he had come to mean a great deal to me. I was more than just a little bit infatuated with him, and still rather annoyed at his brusque dismissal of me our last night together. I wanted to prove that I could move him, that I’d been worthy of his attentions.

  So I entered his mind. It was easy. I knew him.

  I wake him with soft kisses on his face and mouth. His eyes open and fasten on me, first in shock and then in understanding. “Yeah,” I whisper, “it’s only me.” I put my hand to his mouth. “No talking,” I say. I feel his smile under my fingers and I crawl under the covers with him. He’s totally naked, his skin flawless and smooth. I don’t mind the coldness too much; I’m warm enough for both of us. I cover him with my body and give him my warmth, with my mouth and my hands and my soul, until he cries out my name and rolls me over onto my back. He straddles me then, staring at me with those deep fathomless eyes. Quickly shifting the lower half of his body, he enters me without hesitation and I gasp. Victor smiles and shakes his head, working his way deep inside me, filling me completely. He is so cold and Iamso hot and we fit together perfectly, just as I’d imagined we would.

  And when he bends his head down to pierce my flesh with his teeth and drink at my breast, I shudder as the orgasm shakes my body. Victor laughs, blood dripping out of his mouth as wave after wave of ecstacy washes over me.

  And I woke.

  “Damn it, Victor, don’t do that.” I said it out loud, getting a few curious glances from the other passengers. “Who the hell cares,” I said to the closest passenger. “It’s none of your damned business anyway.” I threw off the blankets in a huff and went into the rest room. Bending over the sink, I splashed cold water on my face, then stood up and looked
in the mirror. I was flushed and looked dazed, I’d been sweating profusely and the hair was matted around my neck. My hands shook, and I lifted up my shirt to see where Victor had fed during the dream; there was nothing there, of course. It had only been a dream. But it felt so real.

  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard his laughter, blushed and then smiled. On impulse, I kissed my reflection in the mirror. “For you, Victor,” I whispered. “Thank you.”

  By all accounts, my mother and her husband were living in relative seclusion in a fairly small town northwest of Portland. I’d arranged for a rental car to be waiting at the airport; thanks to Victor’s financial arrangements, there was no problem with credit or cash. I simply signed the forms and they handed me the keys.

  I showed the young man behind the counter the paper Betsy had given me with my mother’s address. “Can you tell me how to get to here?”

  “Yeah, that’s right easy,” he said. “It’s about sixty-five miles or so. Maybe take you an hour and a half. Nice drive, too. Scenic. Just take 495 to 95—there’s signs when you leave the airport for these—and follow that until you get to 202. From 202 you go, oh, I dunno, maybe about twenty miles or so, and then you turn on to . . .” He stopped a minute. “No, wait, I think it’s more like thirty miles. And then you . . .”

  “Right easy?” I smiled as I interrupted him. “Do you have any maps?”

  He did and I thanked him. The car was waiting at the curb, and I put my bags in the back and got in behind the wheel. It had been a while since I’d been able to drive, but I had countless years of high school and driver’s education training. “Nice to know,” I said with a laugh as I pulled into traffic and turned on the radio, “that some of that uselessness is finally paying off.”

  It was a pleasant ride, and I only got lost twice. The town itself wasn’t quite as small as I’d imagined it would be. There were even a couple of different motels to choose from. I checked into the one closest to the road I’d need to take to my mother’s cabin. Once again there was no problem with credit, and in no time at all I had my room. I stayed long enough to use the bathroom, and then went back into the car and got back onto the road.

  The cabin was not nearly as easy to find as the town. I hadn’t wanted to ask for directions, even had the motel desk clerk been able to give them. After driving past the road about four times, I finally glimpsed the small sign that announced their road. Parking the car on the side of the main road, I walked down the dirt road, looking at the few cabins that lined it. The first three were easy to eliminate; two had children playing outside and one was completely boarded over.

  I walked further in, deeper into the woods. The road was overgrown now with weeds and was getting rougher. I spotted one cabin, way back into the woods, and followed the path until I saw a woman picking something out of a garden. Not this one, I thought, but from there I saw the roof of another cabin, in a much more secluded area.

  I approached it warily, looking for signs of life. That it was occupied was obvious, but either the inhabitants weren’t home or they were sleeping. As I moved closer, I saw the name on the mailbox. And smiled. “Bingo. I’ve found you.”

  I used the ointment Victor had suggested to hide my natural body scent, smearing it over my skin and clothes. Then I found a tall sturdy tree and climbed up as far as I could and still keep under the cover of the leaves. I settled my back into the tree trunk, straddling a large branch, and swung my legs back and forth. All I had to do now was wait for the sun to set.

  While I waited, I concentrated on the cabin, searching, as Victor had taught me, for the minds of the two inside. And there they were, sleeping, entangled in each other. I probed a little harder until I could distinguish between the two and separated them slightly. The obviously feminine one I pushed aside. The masculine one I surrounded with a feeling of discontentment. Even from this distance, I could sense his small insecurities and past disagreements that could be fueled and fired. Mitch’s mind was much less protected than I’d expected, his thoughts more chaotic, and the seeds that Victor and I had endeavored to plant during our training had grown and twisted.

  Then the sun set, he awoke and I was instantly thrown out of his mind. It felt like I’d been doused with cold water; I shivered and renewed my grip on the branches of the tree.

  About an hour later, just as I thought they weren’t going to leave the cabin that night and I’d resigned myself to sleeping in my tree instead of a nice comfortable motel bed, the door opened.

  Holding my breath, not daring to move, I watched them come out of the cabin. I caught a flash of pale naked skin and then saw them transform. It was not the painful transformation I’d seen countless times in movies and on television, but a quick and sharp change, a rapid casting off of one garment in favor of another. It was beautiful in a way, beautiful and terrifying. Although Victor had warned me, I was still unprepared for the sight of a silver wolf and a large tawny feline where their human forms had been.

  As they loped under my tree, the cat form hesitated. I saw the twitch of her tail, the gleam of her eyes. Huge paws with tearing claws caught at the base of the tree, a tremor seemed to run under her skin and I feared she had scented me. But she merely shook herself and ran out into the woods to follow the wolf.

  I gave them time to get far enough away and then I breathed. “She didn’t notice me,” I whispered to the trees. “She couldn’t smell me, she didn’t know I was here.”

  I allowed myself a victorious smile, and quietly climbed down out of the tree. Walking lightly on the grass growing alongside the gravel driveway, jumping at every sound in the woods, I found my car where I’d left it and drove back to my motel. Tomorrow morning I would be back.

  On the way back to the hotel, I stopped off at a fast-food drive-through and took the bag back to my room. It wouldn’t do to show my face around town too much. Someone might recognize me. And for all I knew, they could be in town as well, scouring the streets for victims for their inhuman hunger.

  Victor had explained to me that vampires did not need to kill for blood. “A small amount will do just fine,” he’d said. “Only the very newest and most inexperienced of us kill. And those that do, do not survive long. The rest of us have learned that moderation is the key to long life.” Even knowing that, I couldn’t get away from the image of my mother as murderer. She had worn that title for as long as I’d known of her.

  “She’s evil,” I’d said to Victor once, and he’d laughed.

  “Evil is in the eye of the beholder, my dear. And I doubt that you would find too many people who would agree with you. But have it your way. She’s certainly caused me enough grief for me not to dispute you.”

  I made a few phone calls before I got ready for bed. One to the moving company to make sure that they were set up and ready to go for the day after tomorrow. And one to Angelo to tell him that I’d be arriving tomorrow night. No one picked up at my house. Moon’s voice was still on the greeting of the answering machine and when I heard it, I felt my mouth tighten in anger. I left a short message, hoping Angelo would get it in time.

  Then I set the motel alarm clock for four in the morning and lay down to sleep, trying to calm myself by counting off the red beads on my necklace.

  I burst through the cemetery dirt. All around me lie the bodies of people I have known who have died. They are laid out in a straight line, the feet of the first corpse close to the head of the next. I follow the trail of loved ones and acquaintances, all dead. Some I have all but forgotten, but seeing their quiet pale faces brings them back to me. And with each new face and each new body, I grow angrier. I can’t cry, I can’t turn away. All I can do is follow the path. And look at their faces. I begin to walk faster, then run, but the supply of bodies seems endless. I have quit looking at their faces; I have quit counting them; they seem to stretch on past the horizon.

  But suddenly, the line is ended with the body of Hyde. And just past him, in a clearing, is my mother’s cabin. I can hear her insid
e with Mitch. They are laughing, they are talking and laughing. And they are making love. I hate her. And I will make her pay.

  Chapter 20

  I woke with the alarm, determined to do whatever I needed to do to drive my mother and her lover apart. I showered, covered my body with the scent-disguise ointment and dressed once again in black jeans and shirt. I rubbed my hands over my clothes as well, in case they had picked up what Victor’d referred to as “human scent.” Lacing up my boots I felt a rush of excitement. Today was the day. “Wish me luck, Victor,” I whispered to him.

  I almost heard his mocking laughter. “You will need it, my girl. But hold to the plan and you can’t fail.”

  I tossed the leather jacket over my shoulder, collected my bags and checked out of the hotel. “I want to get an early start.” I smiled at the tired desk clerk, who’d been sleeping when I showed up.

  “Early?” He pushed a receipt to me to sign. “It’s not early, it’s too early for that. It’s late.”

  “Whatever. Thanks.”

  I dropped the car off at the rental agency’s office in town, pushing the keys into the night slot. Then, because I found one open, I stopped at a convenience store and purchased two large thermal jugs. After filling them with coffee, I was ready.

  Even with all the errands, even after walking to the cabin, dawn was still an hour or so away. And although I could see the light of a fire inside and seemed to see movement, I decided I would be safer if I hid my bags and climbed the tree again.

  Not more than two or three minutes after I’d settled into the same branches I’d occupied the previous morning, the cat form that was my mother ran past. She didn’t stop this time, but raced for the front door. There she phased back into human form. I held back a small gasp; even though I couldn’t see her face, I could see that she and I could be twins. Her skin was probably slightly paler than mine, her breasts a little more full, but I could pass for her. I was sure of it.