Crave

by Karen E. Taylor

  “Good evening, ladies.” Dressed in a tuxedo, he looked incredibly handsome, a fact not lost on Vivienne, whose face lit up.

  “Oh, mon beau morceau! It has been too long.” She threw herself into his arms and seemed to melt all over him. I got up from the couch as they kissed, and walked over to look out the office window, feeling totally unnecessary and out of place. I’d have been better off had I never left this city, had I stayed with Max and never met Mitchell Greer. But even as I thought it, I knew that last was a lie. I might have to choose to never see Mitch again, but I was glad he had been in my life.

  “Deirdre?” Sam stood next to me. “Vivienne tells me congratulations are needed.”

  “Yes. ‘Congratulations, you have a daughter. And condolences, she hates you and has done everything within her power to make you miserable.’ ”

  Sam laughed. “From what my friends with children tell me, this is not very unusual. Although I see what you mean. And what will you do?”

  “I have to find her. I will leave for New Orleans tomorrow evening, I suppose, provided arrangements can be made in time.”

  I glanced at Vivienne, and she nodded. “Time is no problem. I have asked Claude to take care of everything, Deirdre. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not at all.”

  “And what about Mitch?” Sam asked. “What will you do about him? It’s entirely possible, you know, that he left with her believing she was you. That seems to have been her plan. In that case, it was not a betrayal of you. I told you there had to be a good explanation, and there it is.”

  I nodded, agreeing. “And I can accept that, Sam. Understand it, almost. But the Cat is not so forgiving.”

  “The cat again? You take it so literally, Deirdre. This cat creature is merely a subconscious expression of the anger and the instincts with which your human side can’t deal.”

  “You think so?” I knew there was only one way to win this argument. But I hadn’t the strength to transform and control the Cat this evening.

  Vivienne began to laugh. “Sam, darling, you aren’t listening. I’m crazy about you, mon cher, you know that, but sometimes you can be so—oh, how do they say it now?—yes, clueless. Deirdre’s cat is real.”

  “I know she sees it as real. As I know you talk about your alternate forms as being real. But it’s impossible for a human body to transform into another creature.”

  Vivienne threw her hands up into the air. “Sam, we have been over this ground a thousand times. Perhaps I will just show you.”

  “But you always said you couldn’t show me. Now you can?”

  “No, I said I preferred not to show you. There is a difference. And so”—she began to undress, right there in the office—“I will change my preference. And my form. Voilà!”

  When she stood naked in front of us, she closed her eyes and clasped her arms around her shoulders. A shadow seemed to come up from the floor to cover her pale skin as she crouched down. Her neck craned out from her body; as it thinned and lengthened, she shivered. The shadow continued to grow and become more substantial, until her body was completely covered in black lustrous feathers. Her human face disappeared, she stretched her arms out and wings developed.

  Sam gasped. I smiled. And in less than a minute, the transformation was complete. Where Vivienne had stood, now was a huge, beautiful black swan. She made a crooning noise and walked over to Sam, rubbing her head against his leg, stretching her beak up until it touched his lips. Then she shivered again, spread her massive wings and dropped them back down. The feathers seemed to flow back into the floor and the human Vivienne was back.

  She held on to Sam for just a minute, wearied by the rapid transformations. Then she laughed and started to put her clothes back on. “Here, after all this time, Sam, you thought I had run out of surprises.”

  He had backed off from her slightly. “I should have known better. And I should have believed you. How many more forms do you have?”

  She shrugged as she fastened her bustier. “Two more, but I choose not to show them. To you or to anyone. The swan is at least reasonably attractive. I am so vain, don’t you think?” She smiled shyly and fluffed her hair. “And you must understand our alternate forms are private things, Sam. We keep them secret if we can. Except from those who train us and from those whom we train.”

  “And Deirdre’s cat?”

  Vivienne finished his sentence. “Is just as real as she is. And more dangerous, for a variety of reasons. But enough of the serious for tonight. I am ready for some play. And Deirdre must have something to eat before her trip.”

  The club had filled up while we’d been in the office. It was not as crowded as the Ballroom would be, but then, it was quite obviously not the same place. I looked around me in disbelief. It was like I had landed on a distant planet. The people seemed to be dressed in costumes, some even wearing masks and capes. There were women and men wearing collars and cuffs being led around like trained animals, people wrapped up in what looked like cellophane, people in various forms of disarray with just scraps of clothing covering their genitalia. Others were completely dressed from head to toe, except for cut-out portions over their private areas. I saw tattoos and piercings in places I could not even begin to consider. Some people were being waited on by slaves; others were being whipped or spanked or tickled. I had never even imagined that this scene existed so openly, and breathed a silent thanks that Vivienne had made me wear this ridiculous bodysuit. I would have been appalled and embarrassed in any case, but at least my dress conformed.

  That Vivienne found the entire situation amusing was not surprising. When we had emerged from the back rooms, she’d been greeted with a small burst of applause. Everyone knew who she was; everyone wanted to be with her. As we walked through the crowd, hands reached out to touch her, faces leaned over to kiss her. They adored her.

  I looked at Sam and raised an eyebrow. He smiled at me, put an arm around my shoulder and whispered, “I don’t mind. She enjoys this so. And it’s certainly more enjoyable than Cadre functions. Once we get to the table, they all pretty much go about their business and leave us alone.”

  “Doesn’t she worry about people finding out who she is?”

  Sam laughed. “Vivienne doesn’t worry about anything. You should know that by now. She’s like a child, accepting all that life gives her with wonder and delight. To worry would detract from the enjoyment. And it seems to work for her.”

  Our table was situated on a high platform, roped off from the rest of the area. Facing the club, three chairs were set up behind a long narrow table. On the wall behind us hung a large tapestry depicting the symbol of the house of Courbet. I felt hideously conspicuous, seated between Sam and Vivienne, my every movement on display for the crowd. But Sam was right, we were ignored for the most part, except for occasional glances and whispers.

  Vivienne poured us each a glass of champagne from the setup to her right and giggled. “Isn’t this fun?” she whispered to me as a man dressed in a black leather jumpsuit and chains called her name from below the platform and threw her one red rose. She caught it, sniffed it and smiled her thanks. “I always wanted to be royalty,” she confided, “and this is as close as I’ve ever been.”

  “The problem with playing Marie Antoinette, though, is that one often loses one’s head.”

  “It is sweet of you to worry about me, little sister. But my head is firmly fastened on, merci.”

  Sam cleared his throat and smiled. “In other words, Deirdre, stay the hell out of it.”

  I nodded. “I am sorry, Vivienne. That was inappropriate.”

  “No need for apologies. We are family.”

  Halfway through our bottle of champagne, a waiter came to the edge of the platform. “Miss Courbet?”

  “Yes, Jules? What is it?”

  “All is ready.”

  Vivienne jumped up and clapped her hands together. “Marvelous. Please see that Doctor Samuels has everything he needs while we are away.” She reached down
and pulled me to my feet. “Come, Deirdre. Here is the best part.”

  Chapter 28

  “How many, Jules?” Vivienne asked as we went back into the private area.

  “Full house, Miss Courbet. All eight rooms are occupied.”

  “And how are they?”

  Jules smiled. “The same crop as always. Room Five is a bigger tipper than most. And Room Seven seems to have changed his mind.”

  “Ah, poor little lamb. He should have thought longer before allowing himself to be led to the slaughter.”

  I stiffened at the word. “No, Deirdre, I did not mean it that way. There is no harm here. No one dies. No one even gets hurt. They wish to give their blood, they want the danger and the excitement and they pay well for it. And we take so very little. Isn’t that right, Jules?”

  “Oui, Miss Courbet.” He laughed, and I caught the glimpse of growing canines.

  “Another one, Vivienne?” I said. “My, my, you really have been busy, haven’t you?”

  She stuck her tongue out at me. “Don’t be such a pig, Deirdre. There is Claude for the Cadre and Jules for the club. Do not ever think me so much a fool to live the life I do without protection.”

  I nodded. “I see. And now what?”

  She laughed. “And now we play. Loosen up a bit, sister. It’s only life.”

  The whole thing was more than surreal. Eight dungeon rooms with eight men, blindfolded and chained to the walls, in various modes of dress and undress. The doors were open, and as we walked down the hall and peered inside, Vivienne made suggestive comments about each. When they heard her voice, they stood up a bit straighter and smiled. “It is apparently an honor to be chosen,” she whispered to me. “I do not understand it, but I do not complain. And neither do they.”

  “All right, Vivienne. You’ve convinced me. My life has certainly been dreary enough for all of us recently; for tonight, I will try to play.”

  She deposited a long kiss on my lips. “Your problems will still be there tomorrow and you will face them then. And, I have no doubt, conquer them, as you conquer everything. Forget Mitch, forget Lily and just be yourself tonight.”

  Once I relaxed and cleared my mind of tomorrow’s journey, I realized that Vivienne was right. There was no harm in the situation, and its very ridiculousness lightened my spirits.

  “It is rather like a smorgasbord, isn’t it?” I said with a laugh as we inspected each man closely.

  “Just so,” said Vivienne, “and so very difficult to choose.” She hesitated outside Room Seven. “This one, I think . . .” she began, and the man trembled visibly. She winked at me and put her finger to her lips, silently walking up to his side, laying her hand gently on his chest. He jumped and bit his bottom lip. “This one, I think, can go now.” The man relaxed, then flinched when she touched her tongue to his neck and ran her hand along the lower part of his face. “Words to the wise, mon chou. One must not offer what one does not wish to part with.”

  “Yes, Mistress,” he said, his voice cracking slightly on the words. “I’ll remember. Thank you.”

  She slapped him lightly on the face with both of her hands and giggled. “Jules,” she called, “let this one go. He is unworthy of our attentions.”

  We walked back out into the hallway.

  “And now, sweet sister, we must choose.”

  I shrugged. They all seemed the same to me. “Pick one for me, Vivienne.”

  “You take all the fun out of it, Deirdre. But if you insist.” She closed her eyes and spun around, pointing her arm, stopping eventually at Room Three. “Dinner is served, Madame Greer.”

  She gave me a little push into the room and shut the door behind me.

  “Hello?” The man chained to the wall craned his head forward a bit, attempting to see beyond the blindfold. “Vivienne?” He was wearing a suit and tie, but the tie had been loosened and his neck was exposed.

  “No, I am not Vivienne.” I walked toward him, feeling incredibly stupid and awkward.

  “Then you are the one with the red hair. I am pleased to meet you. And serve you.”

  “Why?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Why? Why would you allow this? Chained like a prisoner, blindfolded, waiting for someone to choose you and take your blood?”

  He seemed confused. “It’s just a game, isn’t it? They told me it wouldn’t hurt.”

  I laughed. “And what if they lied?”

  “But they wouldn’t lie. This place would have to close down.”

  “Ah. And so here you are. And here I am. Now, what do we do? I could unchain you and take off your blindfold and we could talk. Or I could drink your blood.” He gave a sharp intake of breath at that. “I am very hungry,” I confessed, moving closer to him and breathing the words into his neck. “I am also very angry, not at you, of course, but you are here. And those that I am angry with are not. What is your name?”

  “Um, they told me there would be no names.”

  I reached up and grasped his throat. “I asked your name, human. Do not make me angrier.”

  “Kevin,” he blurted out. His fear was intoxicating and I felt my hunger grow. The Cat purred deep within me. “I like this game,” it said. “Let us play some more.”

  “So what is it going to be, Kevin?” I took my hand from his throat and ran my nails down his neck and chest. “Talk? Or blood?”

  “I paid extra for the vampire scene, didn’t I?”

  “I suppose you did. And I promise you I will not disappoint you.” I stood there silently for a minute, scenting his flesh and his sweat and his blood. Then I laid my hands on the wall on either side of him, holding him firmly in place with my body. “Turn your head,” I said to him, and he did so with no questions. I could feel him tremble next to me; his hands opened and closed uselessly in their shackles; he swallowed hard and gave a small smile.

  “When?” he asked, trying to move his head.

  I grasped his chin and pushed the side of his head to the wall. “Now.”

  He jumped when the tips of my fangs grazed his neck, gasped as my teeth penetrated his skin. We both moaned as his blood began to flow. I drew on him slowly, savoring him, enjoying the stolen warmth that rushed through my body. Every mouthful was ecstasy, the shared experience more intensely sensual than any act of sex or love. Each successive sip tasted better than the last, urging me to take it all, drink it all, swallow it all. Drain him dry.

  “No.” I pulled my mouth away from him and stepped back, wiping my bloody lips on my hand.

  Kevin groaned and moved his hands feebly. “Are you done?”

  I laughed. “Yes, thank you. I am finished. Was it worth what you paid?”

  The mouth under the blindfold smiled. “Yeah. Oh, yeah.” He was silent for a while, still smiling. “Thank you. It was incredible. Like someone was dragging my soul through a velvet tunnel. I felt like I could die and not care. How’d you do that?”

  I reached up and patted his cheek. “Trade secret, Kevin. I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

  “What do I do now?”

  “Oh, I expect Jules will be along soon to release you. Perhaps he will even bring you a drink.”

  I opened the door and walked out into the hallway. All of the rooms but one were empty now. I chuckled as I walked past Room Five hearing deep laughter and higher-pitched giggling from behind the closed door. Trust Vivienne to keep the big spenders happy.

  Jules met me at the door to the club. “Everything satisfactory, Miss Griffin?”

  “Fine, Jules, thank you. Take him a drink, please, I suspect he is quite thirsty.”

  He nodded. “But of course. For the rest of the night he can drink as much as he likes for free. It’s part of the package.”

  I shook my head. None of this made any sense to me at all. Not for the first time, I wished I was back in the cabin in Maine. But the cabin lay in ashes, along with the shreds of my relationship with Mitch, and no amount of wishing could make life different. I sighed. “Tell Sam and Vivi
enne that I needed to take a walk. I will see them later back at headquarters.”

  “As you wish.”

  I walked the city streets until it was close to dawn searching for what I had lost. It was a futile endeavor; what I had lost seemed unrecoverable. Mitch had gone and I was alone. I had a daughter, true, but she had been instrumental in taking from me what I most valued. Perhaps it was fitting. I had left her for dead. Poor little one, never having a chance for a normal life. My daughter, blood of my blood, closer blood and dearer than any lover I had ever had. Had I but known, I’d have sacrificed everything to have her with me.

  But I had not known and I had left her, chasing down love and blood for so many years, finally finding all I had ever wanted in Mitch. And now? Now I had lost everything. I had neither of them. She hated me. And he had destroyed my love by his leaving. It mattered little that he might have left believing her to be me. I condemned him for the same reasons I condemned myself. He should have known.

  I sat on the steps outside his old apartment for some time, hoping for a miracle. Hoping that all I had been through was nothing but a bad dream. And that he would come out of the door and smile at me, his eyes glowing with love and promise. I closed my eyes and pretended that all of that was true. That Mitch was only a flight of stairs away. That he would come and call me inside to bed.

  Then this would be a perfect world. One in which the Cat’s instincts had not been aroused. One in which I didn’t have to fear the killing of one I loved. Or fear his killing me.

  I sighed and opened my eyes. It was not a perfect world, nor would it ever be.

  But there is an easy solution, I thought. I can sit here until dawn. I closed my eyes again, and this time imagined the lovely heat of the sun’s rays caressing my upturned face. After all the long, cold and dark years, I yearned for the sunshine almost as much as I feared it. Perhaps it was time. And it would not hurt for too long, I thought, and, oh, the warmth would be heaven.

  “Miss Griffin?”

  I opened my eyes not to the sun, but to Claude’s wide face. He looked distressed and anxious.