The Sound of Freedom

by Kathy Kacer

  blurted this question out.

  Papa had returned to reading his newspaper.

  Now, he lowered the paper and stared at Anna. He

  looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

  he asked.

  “The orchestra that Bronislaw Huberman is put-

  ting together in Palestine. Don’t you see? If you get into this orchestra—I mean when you get in—then we’ll be able to leave here, and we’ll have a place

  to go.”

  The Sound of Freedom

  55

  “Annichka, where is this coming from? I have no

  intention of leaving Krakow.”

  “Papa, please just listen to me. And don’t say

  anything until I’m finished talking. You too, Baba,”

  she added when her grandmother made a move to

  leave the sitting room. Baba sank back in her chair.

  Her face grew pale. And with that, Anna spoke. The

  words poured out of her in a rush, like a balloon

  releasing all of its air. She reminded her father and Baba about everything she had read in the newspapers and heard on the radio about Jewish people

  who had been targeted in Poland. She reminded

  him about Mr. Kaplansky’s store, this time empha-

  sizing the part about police chief Zabek. She told

  them both about Sabina’s warning that she and her

  Jewish friends would have to leave school. Finally,

  she told her father that Renata and her family

  were going.

  By the time she was finished talking, Papa had

  removed his glasses and closed his eyes, pinching

  the bridge of his nose with his fingers as if he were in pain. Baba’s eyes were wide open, darting furiously from Anna to her father and back again. The silence

  continued for several seconds while Anna tried to

  control her breathing and the pounding of her heart.

  She had said everything she wanted to say.

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  Finally, Papa straightened up and opened his

  eyes. He gazed at his daughter. He looked tired.

  “Annichka,” he began, “l will not lie to you. I have been worried about some of the things you mentioned.”

  There! He finally said it! This admission was enormous.

  “But ...”

  Oh no, Anna thought, her heart sinking into her stomach.

  “But,” he said again, “what you are suggesting is

  simply impossible. We cannot abandon our lives and

  leave.”

  “Why not?” Anna jumped in. “Renata’s family is

  going. I know it won’t be easy,” she added.

  “Impossible!” Papa repeated, more forcefully. “Our

  home is here. My work is here. Your mother is even

  buried here.” At that last part, his voice caught in his throat. Baba sniffled and blew loudly into a handkerchief. Papa continued. “I will not uproot our lives for something that is completely uncertain. I understand that things are perhaps feeling desperate for you,

  but I need you to try and keep a level head about all of this.”

  What does that even mean? Anna wondered. As far as she was concerned, she was being completely

  sensible. If things were dangerous, and Papa knew it, then leaving was the only option.

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  “I’m going to say this to you again, Annichka,”

  Papa said, leaning forward. “So please listen to me.

  We are not in any danger.”

  “Then why is Renata leaving?” Anna asked.

  Papa took a deep breath and stared at his daugh-

  ter. “Some people have become overly fearful and feel they need to get away. But I’m not afraid.” He said

  this last part even before Anna had a chance to ask

  him anything. “And you should not be afraid either.

  Besides,” he added, “even if something worse were to happen to the Jews of Krakow, I am protected. I’m a

  member of the orchestra. Poland loves its musicians.

  So we are safe staying right here.”

  Anna stared evenly at her father. “I know about

  the ghetto chairs,” she said. “Baba told me. And I

  saw you the last time I came to the academy for my

  lesson.”

  Papa glanced over at Anna’s grandmother, who

  quickly averted her eyes. “I can live with being in a different seat in the orchestra,” he said. “And no one has hurt us.” Papa avoided Anna’s stare when he said this last part.

  “Not yet!” Anna blurted out.

  Papa straightened up in his seat and put his glasses back on. “Nothing worse will happen here,” he said.

  “But how do you—”

  Papa raised his hand and Anna stopped.

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  “Nothing worse,” he repeated.

  Anna looked away, not wanting to meet her

  father’s eyes.

  “Please, Annichka,” he insisted. “You must trust

  me when I say this.”

  Anna turned to her grandmother. “If you had the

  chance to leave Poland today, Baba, would you do it?”

  Baba, who had been rocking nervously in her

  seat, raised her head. “Why are you asking me these

  questions, Annichka?”

  “Please answer me, Baba.”

  Baba hesitated and then said, “I can’t imagine my

  life anywhere but here.”

  Anna persisted. “But given everything we know

  and everything I’ve said, would you go now if you

  had the chance?”

  In Baba’s eyes, Anna could see a flicker of some-

  thing different—a seed of agreement even as she

  stammered out a response. “I-I think—I mean, I don’t think …” And then her voice trailed off.

  Just then, Papa jumped in again. “Annichka,” he

  said, sounding even more tired than before. “We’ve

  all said enough. I think it’s time for you to go to bed.”

  Anna felt the weight of failure on her shoulders.

  But as she rose from the table and left the sitting

  room, she realized that Baba had never answered

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  her question about leaving. And in not answer ing,

  Baba had made her response to Anna loud and clear.

  z

  Before reaching her bedroom, Anna paused in the

  hallway to listen in on what was happening back in

  the sitting room. Baba, who had been silent during

  Anna’s exchange with Papa, suddenly began to talk.

  “I also think you should go to this audition,” Baba

  was saying.

  “There’s no point,” Anna heard her father reply.

  “He’s providing travel papers for the people he

  chooses for this orchestra, isn’t he?” Baba asked.

  “That’s why Jewish musicians are being invited to

  try out.”

  Anna strained to hear what her father would

  say, but he did not reply. Finally, Baba continued.

  “Families like ours would be able to leave here with papers. That’s more valuable than gold these days.”

  “I just don’t know,” Papa replied. And then he said

  something that Anna had never heard him say before.

  “It frightens me to think about leaving here. We have built our whole lives here in Poland. How can I start again somewhere else?”

  “Well, it frightens me to stay!” her grandmother

  exclaimed. Then there was another long silence before

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  Ba
ba spoke again. “When Anna asked me if I would

  leave Poland if I had the chance, I avoided the

  question. I can’t even face her and tell her what I’m really thinking. Neither can you.”

  So there it was! Papa was afraid to leave. And Baba

  wanted to go.

  “I’m not going to leave our city,” Papa said, raising his voice and then quickly lowering it. “I’m not going to pull Anna away from here and take her halfway

  across the world to some place that is not our home.”

  Anna pressed herself closer to the wall, eager to

  hear how her grandmother would reply to this. When

  Baba finally spoke, her voice was thick with emotion.

  And the woman who was usually so quiet suddenly

  found her strong voice.

  “What is a home?” Baba asked. “Isn’t it just a place where you feel safe? Tell me, my dear son, when was

  the last time you really felt safe here in Krakow?”

  Anna had heard enough. She quickly retreated to

  her bedroom and closed the door softly be hind her.

  Chapter

  9

  In the wake of Papa’s firm pronouncement that they

  would not leave Poland, a dark cloud descended on

  Anna. She felt as if all hope had been sucked away

  from her. Baba tried her best to brighten Anna’s

  mood in the only way she knew—she prepared

  Anna’s favorite desserts: thin and light-as-air crepes stuffed with jam, and moist apple cake. But not even those sweet treats could lift Anna’s spirits.

  What saddened her even more was that, as

  Renata’s departure loomed nearer, Anna had been

  avoiding her friend: departing early for school so

  they wouldn’t meet at the corner, dodging her in the playground or pulling Stefan into every conversation, and rushing out after school was done. Anna knew

  it wasn’t fair for her to do that. But she just couldn’t 61

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  face Renata. She didn’t know how to say good-bye.

  Well, there was no avoiding it any longer. Renata was leaving in a few days.

  On Saturday morning, Anna made her way over

  to Renata’s house. The wind that day was biting, but the sun shone so brightly that Anna had to shield

  her eyes from its glare. She trudged up the path to

  Renata’s house and knocked on the door. Renata’s

  mother answered a moment later.

  “Anna, come in. Get out of that wind,” Renata’s

  mother exclaimed, pulling Anna by the arm into the

  front hallway of the house. “Please excuse this terrible mess. As Renata told you, we’re leaving in two days

  and we’re still sorting through everything to figure out what to take with us.”

  Anna glanced around the living room. It looked as

  if a cyclone had hit. Clothes were thrown over the couch and chairs, books were spread out across the floor and tables, and boxes were piled on top of one another.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Renata’s mother

  continued before Anna had a chance to say anything.

  “Chaos, right? But I know where everything is, and

  we just need to organize it and start to pack. But what am I babbling about? You’re here to see Renata.” Then she lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Anna’s face. “The thing that saddens me the most is separating the two of you. I wish there was something we

  The Sound of Freedom

  63

  could do about that. And I wish most of all that you were leaving too. But …”

  Anna gulped. She wished that as well.

  “But,” Renata’s mother continued, “that’s not my

  decision to make.” Then she straightened. “Go to

  Renata. I know she’s eager to see you.”

  Renata’s room was as cluttered as the rest of the

  house. Renata stood in the middle of her floor, trying to sort through a mountain of dresses that was so

  high it threatened to topple over. Anna picked her

  way over sweaters and blouses. She was about to push a box aside when she heard a muffled noise coming

  from inside. She knelt down and opened the box,

  and there was Renata’s dog staring up at her and

  whimpering softly.

  “Bestia,” Anna cried. “Have you found a new spot

  to hide?” She reached down and scratched under

  the dog’s chin and it perked up its ears. The dog had come into Renata’s life when it was a puppy and she

  was an infant. They had grown up together. But it was the name that always made Anna smile. Bestia meant the beast. This dog was anything but ferocious. It was about as cowardly as any animal could be. It didn’t

  surprise Anna to see Bestia hiding in this dark place.

  “He knows something is going on,” Renata said,

  coming to stand next to Anna. “And he knows he’s

  not part of it.”

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  “What’s going to happen to him?”

  “Our neighbor is taking him. I know she loves

  him almost as much as I do. And I know he’ll be

  fine. But it’s something else that I can’t bear to think about.” Then she turned to face Anna. “You’ve been

  avoiding me.”

  Anna nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to

  say. I’m just so sad that you’re going.”

  “Me too.”

  “I have something for you,” Anna said. She had

  thought long and hard about what she wanted to give

  Renata when she left. And that morning, she had

  come up with the perfect gift. She reached into her

  pocket, pulled out one of the dried red poppies that was part of her pressed flower collection, and held it out to Renata.

  “But it’s your favorite!”

  “And that’s why I want you to have it,” Anna re-

  plied. “Not that you’ll need anything to remember

  me, because we’ll always be friends no matter where

  we are. But I want you to hang this on your wall in

  your new home and think of me.”

  Renata held the framed flower in her hands as if

  it were a fragile piece of china. “Do you remember

  when you tried to get me interested in making these?

  What a mess I made.”

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  65

  “Art was never your thing,” Anna said.

  “And math was never yours.”

  “But together, we’re a perfect team.” They chanted

  that last line in unison, like a hymn.

  “What am I going to do without you?” Anna began

  to cry.

  “I’ll write. I promise. And you have to swear you’ll do the same.”

  It would have to do, Anna thought, gulping back

  tears and nodding. “And who knows?” Renata con-

  tinued. “Maybe we’ll end up in the same place at

  some point.”

  It was then that Anna told her friend about the

  orchestra being formed in Palestine by the famous

  violinist.

  “You have to convince your father to go,” Renata

  said. “I would feel so much better about leaving if I knew you were also going somewhere safer.”

  “I don’t know what it’s going to take. Right now,

  he’s determined to stay.”

  The silence that filled the room was heavy. Anna

  knew that there was nothing Renata could say that

  would help her. Convincing her father to leave seemed to be resting on her shoulders alone.

  “I have something for you, as well,” Renata
said.

  She spun around and began to rummage through

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  another pile of clothing. When she turned back to

  Anna, she was holding a scarf in her hands—the

  green silk one she had been wearing the day the girls had witnessed Mr. Kaplansky’s store being vandalized. “I told you it would look good with anything

  you wear. I want you to have it.”

  Anna took the scarf from Renata’s hands and

  wrapped it slowly around her neck. “How does it

  look?”

  “Perfect.” And then Renata’s voice broke and she

  turned away again. “My mother is limiting the number of dresses I can take,” she said. Anna could see her furiously brushing away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. “But how will I ever choose?”

  “I’ll help you,” Anna replied. “We’re still a team.

  Don’t forget that.”

  Chapter

  10

  How was it possible to go from seeing her best friend every day to not seeing her at all, and maybe never

  seeing her again? Renata’s empty desk was a constant reminder of her absence. Anna became even quieter

  over the next days and weeks, and not even Stefan

  with his jokes and smiles could pull Anna’s low

  spirits up. It didn’t help that Sabina had started to taunt her again whenever they saw each other on the

  playground. Even without her goons to protect her,

  Sabina would hurl threats at Anna.

  “Your days at school are numbered,” she said one

  day.

  “That friend of yours may have gotten out, but you

  won’t be so lucky,” she said another time. One day,

  she even said that it wouldn’t be long before Papa lost 67

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  all his students. Anna tried to stay as far away from her as possible, but it wasn’t always easy.

  Several days later, as Anna was walking home

  from school, she could hear the sounds of a brawl

  nearby, even before she could see what was happen-

  ing. Angry voices rose and dropped in a unified swell.

  Here and there, a solitary outburst cut through the

  crowd. “Get him!” someone shouted. “Don’t stop,”

  another echoed. And then the others joined in to

  cheer once more.

  She knew she shouldn’t get any closer. She was

  already late getting home and Baba would start to

  worry. But something inside of her was propelling