by lanie love
“Maybe we are onto something then.”
“Maybe we are.”
I kiss her goodnight, waiting for her to get in safely before reluctantly heading home with a smile on my face from the feel of her soft lips still lingering on mine.
Later, as a lay awake in my bed, I answer the phone on my nightstand.
Jane says she’s cuddling up in bed with Mr. Mason.
Lucky Elephant!
Chapter Eight
Beth
I wipe at my tears, closing the diary, and hugging it like it was Grandma Jane. She has never said a word to me about her childhood. It was just always known that it was something she didn’t talk about. Even Dad never mentioned it. I would have never imagined such awful things were the reason why.
“Oh, thank God.” I say to myself seeing Island’s Escalade pull up behind me. I pop open my tank and I’m about to get out, but he stops me.
“Slide over.” He says, bending down to talk to me in the driver’s side window.
He uses that same voice he did in the playroom that makes my heart skip a beat and my spit catch in my throat. I lift myself over the gear shift and plant my ass in the passenger seat. Once I’m over, he swings open the driver’s door and gets in.
“What are you doing?”
“Driving you to work.”
“But how are you going to drive…” Before I can even voice the complete question, another face appears in the window.
“All done, Mr. Lowe. You should have enough gas to get you where you need to go.”
“Thanks, Jason.” Island says before turning to me. “Ready?” I look back in time enough to see this Jason guy hopping in Island’s SUV.
“Yes.” I say, nestling down in my seat. I wonder if this is what it’s like to have a Dom. The sub just sits back while he takes care of everything. I’m hit with a wave of jealousy, wondering if he has a sub right now. He said he wouldn’t fuck Kim, but he never made any mention of subs. I look over at him with the thought in my mind, but I dare not ask the question. “Thanks for coming.” I say to him instead.
“Have you been crying?” He’s ready to fight with whatever the reason is for my tears.
“Oh, I was just crying because of my grandmother.”
“Is she alright?”
“She’s fine. I was just reading a part in the diary she gave me. It was just a sad moment that I had no idea she’d experienced.” He glances at the diary in my lap. “She and my grandfather are here celebrating the summer they met. It was an Indian Summer back then too.” I know I’m over-explaining, but I just can’t seem to shut my mouth.
“They say people go crazy during Indian Summers.”
“I thought that was the Santa Ana winds.” I say. He lifts his eyes to the top of his head in thought.
“Right.” He says. I laugh at his really bad attempt to figure out the actual saying. “And of course, I came to get you. Did you really think I wouldn’t?”
“Well, I’m not really your responsibility. It’s not like I’m your sub or anything.” I said it before I could help myself.
“And whose fault is that?” His hands grip the steering wheel tighter, so I’m guessing he thinks it’s mine.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. Let’s just drop it.”
“Fine.” He shakes his head. “Besides allowing yourself to run out of gas, how have you been?”
“Okay, I guess.” I laugh. “And I didn’t ‘run out of gas,’ you know. I just forgot that I need to fill up more often now.”
“Right. You’ve moved.”
“Yup.”
“There are dental offices down here too. Or you can always manage the board of your hotels.”
“How do you know about that?”
“Beau talks. I listen.”
“How very boring that must be.”
“Hardly. Nothing about you is boring, Bethy.”
“Oh my God. Please, never call me Bethy.”
“Why not? It’s cute.”
“My dad calls me Bethy.”
“So does Beau.”
“Exactly.” I roll my eyes. Beau still thinks I’m the little Resident he had to train. “They both treat me like a kid.”
“And they are both dead wrong. Trust me, you are all woman.”
“Tell that to Beau and Dad.”
“I don’t think they’d want to hear it from me.” He says with a smirk.
“Right.” I laugh. “That would be awkward.”
“You’ve changed lipsticks.” He glances over at me before turning his eyes back on the freeway.
“Oh, yeah.” I say, forgetting I’d put it on. “It’s… I was just in the mood for something different. I’m surprised you noticed.”
“Absolutely, I notice. Even when you dress up, you keep your lipstick light.” He does notice. I should be ashamed at how happy that makes me.
“You don’t like the red?”
“No, I love it.” He glances at me with a smile. “It fits you.” I squint my eyes at him, not believing a word he says. I turn down the car visor to look in the mirror. “You’re beautiful.” He assures me and I actually blush.
The air becomes thick and the space between us crackles. I feel a shock when my elbow touches his on the armrest between us. I quickly move my arm away, sliding over closer to my side of the car.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. But do you want the whole truth?”
“Please.”
“I imagine those lips wrapped around my dick every damn night.” I look over at him with my mouth agape at the confession. “So, that’s why I noticed.” He says with a shrug. “But let’s not overlook the fact that you’re so fucking hot you command all of my attention when you’re near me, or the fact that I want you so damn much.”
“Don’t.”
“Baby.” My heart skips a beat when he calls me that. His closest hand leaves the steering wheel to touch my closed legs, sliding my skirt up against my thigh. My legs must have a mind of their own because they open for him. My breath hitches at the feel of his fingers caressing my inner thigh, inching their way between my legs. “Sssss.” He hisses, running his fingers up the crotch of my lace panties. “You’re so wet. You want me too. I know you do. Tell me.”
“Yes. I want you.” My eyes flutter closed and my head drops back on the headrest. His fingers push my panties aside, exposing my ripened clit, just waiting to be plucked.
“Shit.” He slams on the breaks, putting his arm across me to stop me thrusting forward. The car in front of us has come to a complete stop, nearly driving past his freeway transition. “How the fuck did you miss all the damn signs telling you to get over two miles back?” Island yells at the offending car as it gets over and speeds out of sight. “Fucking idiot.”
I laugh, pulling down my skirt. Thanking God, the ‘fucking idiot’ missed the signs. I would be coming all over Island’s hand if he hadn’t and that is the last thing we need right now.
“You have great reflexes.” I say. He regards me, his eyes locking with mine briefly before refocusing on the freeway.
“How long are we going to pretend that this isn’t happening between us?” He sighs heavily, running the hand that was just at my entrance through his hair. “I care about Beau too, but this shit isn’t doing anybody any good.”
“You just want me because you can’t have me, or because you can’t have me the way you want me. It’s the conquest and the taboo factor of me being your best friend’s girl. It makes it all the more tempting. Once you get me, you won’t want me.”
“Damn, you’re good.”
“So, I’m right.”
“No, you’re full of shit, but you have that making excuses thing down so perfect I almost believed you. I had to check myself after that little read and now that I can assure you that none of the above mentioned is the case, I’ll ask you again. How long are we going to keep pretending?”
I pick up the diary I dropped between my legs. I wish I had an answer for him. I wish I
was brave enough, or sure enough in myself to give him an answer. I put on this damn lipstick this morning thinking it would help. It’s Grandma Jane’s go-to color when she needs a boost of confidence. I’m not sure how well it’s working for me right now though. I hope it yielded better results for her and grandpa.
Indian Summer of 1968
Michael
Since our first date at the Carnival, Jane and I have become closer than I ever imagined. We’ve been going out every weekend for the last month and every Wednesday, she joins me and my family for dinner. She invited me to join her and Kyle for lunch at work, but Kyle quickly found himself another lunch group to hang with. We’re too “lovey dovey,” as he calls it, and it makes him uncomfortable. So now, instead of going out for lunch we just order in and eat in my office, that is, when she’s not being stolen away by Mom, or worse, Betty and Donna. Those two always have their heads together with her and I plan on getting to the bottom of it sometime soon.
Estabrook is abuzz with gossip about us. Betty let it slip that the staff is taking bets on our wedding date. The pool was quite large, last I checked. Normally, all this hoopla would make me balk, but Jane and I even slipped our own wedding date into the pool. All in good fun, of course.
Tonight, I’ve invited her over to my place for dinner. I need to explain to her about my past with Bernadette and put everything out on the table. I’m nervous. I don’t know how she is going to react. This could all blow up in my face, but if I’m going to have any kind of future with her, I’m going to have to come clean about my past. And to be perfectly honest with myself, I really do want a future with her.
Her gentle knock on my door signals her arrival. She insisted on driving herself over.
“Jane, you look beautiful.” She truly is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
“Thank you.” She turns around to show off her white cotton dress that’s perfect for my rustic three-bedroom hide-a-way in Laurel Canyon. California Dreaming is playing low on the record player. The casement windows are all swung open, letting the breeze that’s rustling through the trees in. “I love this place. Being up here is so beautiful.” The light wind has picked up her hair and the setting sun has caught her eye.
“Breathtaking.” I say to her, and it’s true. She has completely taken my breath away. She catches my stare and I have to think of something as to cover me wearing my heart on my sleeve. “I hope you don’t mind. I ordered in. Karen is off today and you know I can’t cook to save my life.”
“I don’t mind at all.” We walk hand in hand to the dining table. “And it looks delicious.”
We keep the conversation light as we enjoy our meal, but I can’t seem to keep my eyes off her. She is mesmerizing, by far the most enchanting woman I’ve ever met and having her here is doing things to me. It’s like this place was made for her.
“So.” She says as we sit in the living room sipping wine. “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
“You always cut right to it.” I say, laughing slightly, trying to massage the strain in the back of my neck.
“I know you, and it’s hard for me to sit here when you’re this nervous. Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as all that.”
“Oh, it’s bad as all that.” I whisper more to myself than to her.
“Michael, just tell me.”
“We’re at a good place finally. I don’t want to mess anything up.”
“Okay, then if it helps, you should know that I like you. I really do. The reason I kept my distance before was because I was afraid that you wouldn’t want me. It’s not every day a girl has to tell the guy she likes that she spent a big chunk of her life in the loony bin and he sticks around.”
“Is that why you were so put off the week before I asked you to the carnival?”
“I was trying to make it easy for you to walk away. The day you came to the library, Norma told me she was sending you over to talk to me. She told me I should stop getting in the way of myself and let good things happen. So, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.”
“I had an affair with Bernadette.” The words come tumbling out. She stares at me for a moment, rapidly blinking her eyes. Her wine glass shakes in her trembling hand as she picks it up from the coffee table and downs it in one gulp. “Jane, just hear me out, okay?” I beg her.
“I’m here. I’m listening.”
“You know about the kidnapping, but what you don’t know is that I kept it from my family for years after. I never told them it was Bernadette that took me.”
“Then, how did they find you?”
“She let me go. She told me not to tell anyone and she just let me go. I walked right up to my front door and Mom opened it. Everything after that was a blur. I remember the police asking me questions, but I clammed up. I never said a word. Mom was very protective of me, she didn’t want them to upset me. Dad wanted answers, though. He wanted to make my kidnappers pay, which only made me clam up more. I didn’t want to get her in trouble. She was nice to me for the most part. When she was done doing the parts I didn’t like, she fed me ice cream. She seemed so sorry and I believed her. God, how sick is that?”
“You were just a little boy.”
“But I would go to her willingly, every time she called. I was faithful to her long after. I haven’t been with anyone since she... stopped calling me.”
“Bernadette is the only woman you’ve ever been with?”
“This is so hard to explain.” I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. She takes my hands in hers to stop them from being busy.
“I think the best way is to just say it.”
“I fell in love with her. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.”
“She was your abuser. She used you to satisfy her sickness. When did she finally stop?”
“Your dad came home early from a business trip and caught us in his bed. It didn’t take long for my family to find out. Richard made sure of that. My parents were devastated. My dad threatened to disown me if I didn’t stop seeing her, but I didn’t care. I professed my love for her. I swore I would never betray her. God, I was such an idiot.”
“You weren’t an idiot. She is just very manipulative. Your parents still didn’t know that she was the one that took you?”
“No. Your father conveniently left that part out. I think because he didn’t want to implicate himself.”
“Maybe he didn’t know.”
“He had to have known. I was there in the house with the two of them for days. I think he may have even helped her. Jane?” I say. She’s gone ghastly pale.
“My father, did he hurt you?”
“No. No, I don’t think so. I just remember him mentioning me in an argument I overheard between them. He was ticked that she was cheating on him with another man. He threatened to expose her to my parents.”
“Man, that bitch really gets around town, doesn’t she?”
“She did until I ran her off. My father finally got through to me. He showed me proof of the ransom he’d paid to get me back. I had no idea they had paid anything. It nearly wiped them out. He sold off everything he and Mom had. He was in the process of selling the house when I showed up at the front door. I’d always assumed she’d just let me go because she felt bad. I told him it was Bernadette. He went after her and your father, but legally, there was nothing he could do. The statute of limitations had run out by then.
“I’m so sorry, Michael.”
“I got so angry at her and Dick. I was going to ruin them financially. I was going to take the business that I’m sure they started with the money they got for taking me. They were tipped off and they quickly left LA.”
“And ended up in San Francisco.” She whispers to herself.
“I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I never meant to send her back to you.”
“Please, don’t feel bad.” She climbs on my lap and straddles me. She means it as a way to comfort me, but I can’t help circling
my arms around her. “You couldn’t have known. Besides, if they would have stayed in LA, I would still be in San Francisco right now.” I smile, seeing her point.
“You’re right. At least one good thing came out of it.”
“Maybe. But maybe it would have been better if we didn’t meet considering the paths we had to take to get us here.” Her eyes glaze over making me wonder where her mind has gone. The miserable expression on her face tells me it’s no place good.
“Hey? I lift her chin to make her look at me. “I would give anything to take away the pain of what happened to you, but I would live through mine all over again if it meant having you.”
“Having me. Having me how? What do you want from me, Michael?”
“Nothing more than you’re willing to give me. I want you, all of you. But, if you’re not ready, I can wait. As long as I know you’re mine.”
“I want you too, but I’m not very good at this type of stuff. Are you sure you want me to be yours? There are a lot of girls out there who would probably be better at all of this.”
“I want you. No one else will do. I want to be with you. I want to make love to you, Jane.”
“I want that too then. Please, make love to me, Michael.” I hold her in my arms as I lift us off the couch and head to my bedroom. I sit her on the edge of the bed and kneel down between her legs to look up at her.
“Are you sure? We don’t have to do this, we could just...” She ends my train of thought by pulling me into a kiss.
“Make love to me, Michael.”
I quickly undress down to my boxers.
“How far have you gone with a boy?” I ask her, standing her up to help her undress.
“Not far, well, nowhere really, but I’ve read a lot about it. It doesn’t look that hard to do.” She says. She is dead serious, so I stifle a laugh.
“Okay.” I simply say. I untie her dress and watch as it falls in a soft heap at her ankles. She steps out of it. I bend down to remove her sandals. I slowly slide her panties down her legs and toss them to the side. “You are so beautiful.” I whisper to her as I kiss my way back up her body. I turn the covers back on the bed, lift her up, and place her gently in the center. I take my time exploring every inch of her with my mouth as she whimpers and writhes underneath me. My hand moves down between her legs, making sure she is ready for me and I nearly come at the feel of her soaking wet and dripping into the palm of my hand.