by lanie love
“I need to be inside you.” I tell her, desperate to make love to her.
“Yes.” She says.
“Jane, are you sure?” I ask her again.
“Yes, I’m sure. Please, I want you inside me, Michael.” She reassures me.
I hover for as long as I can at her entrance just in case she changes her mind, but I lose my resolve when she cradles my face in her hands and pulls me down for a kiss. She plunges her tongue in my mouth as she lifts her hips up to help guide me in.
I enter her.
“Jane, you feel so good.” I pant out. So tight. So warm. So wet. I stop myself to gain control and to allow her time to adjust to me being inside of her. I’m not sure how long I can last.
“Oh, Michael.” She begins to pant breathlessly as she raises her hips up and down off the bed pushing me deeper into her.
“So good... Jane… so good.” Is all I can pant out as we come together.
Chapter Nine
Indian Summer of 1968
Michael
A painful smack to my face awakens me. I come out of my sleepy haze confused as to what’s going on, until I see Jane in the midst of a nightmare. She’s thrashing her arms and yelling out incoherently. I remember how she reacted the last time I touched her when she was like this, but if she keeps this up she’s going to hurt herself. I call out her name, grabbing for her arms, but she lashes out and scratches me hard on the face.
“Jane, wake up. It’s Michael, Sweetheart. You’re safe. Can you hear me?”
“Michael?” She says my name, looking around in the dark, unsure if she can trust that I’m here with her.
“It’s me. I’m here. You’re safe with me now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I turn on my lamp.
“You’re hurt.” Her eyes adjust to the light, allowing her to see the welt marks on my cheek. “I hurt you?”
“It’s okay. It’s not that bad. Come here.” I call to her as I get back in bed and pull her close to me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I just want to forget about it. But I can’t. She won’t let me. I think Bernadette’s some evil sorcerer. As soon as she senses that I’ve found some happiness, she swoops in and invades my dreams to let me know that I’m not supposed to ever have it.”
“Don’t say that. She can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”
I want to say more, but she drifts back to sleep. Her body is curled into a ball as she hugs herself and I am desperate to soothe her fears. I slip my arm around her and hold her close to me silently vowing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
****
I don’t remember falling asleep, but I wake again to Jane at the foot of the bed getting dressed. The sun isn’t even all the way up yet.
“Jane, it’s early.” I say, my voice still deep from sleep. “Where are you going?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just going to go home.” That statement wakes me up.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” She comes over to kiss me goodbye. “Go back to sleep.” Before she can make it to my bedroom door, I’m up out of bed, grabbing for my boxers, trying to talk her out of leaving.
“I thought we could have breakfast.”
“Yeah, I guess, if you want.” She says, biting her nail.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No. Why?”
“You were practically sneaking out of here before I woke up. And now, you still can’t get away from me fast enough. Are you trying to duck out on me?”
“No, that’s not what I was trying to do.” She laughs a little at the thought.
“Did I just blow it? Did I just push you into sleeping with me?” I run my hand over my face. “I knew you weren’t ready. Man, are you even on the pill?”
“What! Michael, you didn’t push me and I was ready. I am ready. And yes, I’m on the pill. I just don’t want you to think that you’re obligated to see me again after last night.”
“Wait a second, Jane, that wasn’t a one night stand we just had last night. Is that why you’re running out of here?”
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to act now. I don’t want to be too needy, but honestly, I really don’t want to leave either. I just don’t know how this part is supposed to go. No one ever writes about it. What’s supposed to happen the morning after?”
“I don’t know how it’s supposed to go either, but I think we can start by being honest with each other.” I pull her back in the room to sit with me on the bed. “I have feelings for you, strong feelings. Everything in me is telling me to get closer to you, not keep my distance.”
“Me too. I like who I am when I’m with you. I can be myself without feeling that I’m different or strange, but I know I’m a lot to take on though. I come with a lot of baggage.”
“I’m not exactly weightless myself. Look, the way I see it is, we can let our past tear us down until there’s nothing left for our future or…” I pause for thought.
“Or what?”
“Or we can go for it.” I say. “We can just jump in and see where this goes.”
“You’re saying be together? You and me?”
“Yes.” I tell her. “I love you, Jane. Let’s just go for it. All or nothing.” I hold my breath waiting for her to answer. The seconds seem like ages and I just might lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. She smiles, putting me out of my misery and I can breathe again
“I love you too, Michael. All or nothing.” She repeats.
Four Months later
“Jimmy, what is this meeting about?” I ask him for the second time in as many minutes, as I sit impatiently waiting in my conference room. I swivel around in my chair to look over at him when he fails to answer me.
“We’re waiting for Jane, Betty, and their team. Once they get here, we’ll explain everything. Be patient. We’ve only been waiting two minutes.”
“This is a Triple H meeting? Do I really need to be here for this?” Ever since I promoted Jane to head up Triple H, I haven’t needed to attend a single meeting. She has proven herself more than capable of running the program.
“No, this is not a Triple H meeting. This is a PR meeting. That’s why Larry is here.” I look over at Larry Dawson, our head of Public Relations and he shrugs as if to say he has no idea what’s going on.
“Jane is not in PR.” I say to Jimmy, ticked off that he’s pulled not only me, but Jane away from our jobs for this meeting. “Why are we being bothered to attend and how long has she known about this meeting?”
I am surprised she didn’t mention it to me last night or this morning before we came to work. She and I have been living together for the last four months now. In fact, we haven’t spent a night apart, unless I was away on business, since we first decided to go for it in our relationship. She still has her apartment, though, if only to put a limit on the rumor mill here at work. Hopefully, that will change after tonight.
“I just told her about it this morning, when I asked her to assemble the team that’s agreed to work with us.”
“Jimmy—" I am about to go off on him because he knows I don’t like being kept in the dark about this kind of shit, when the conference room door opens.
In walks Jane, looking just as decadent as when I kissed her goodbye in the elevator this morning. She’s recently upgraded her work wardrobe. One day I asked her why she dressed down at work. It took her a while to admit not only to me, but to herself that it was a habit left over from her childhood, where she would be left neglected and filthy all day but made to dress up at night. Once she recognized it for what it was, she grabbed Donna and off they went shopping for new work clothes.
Following closely behind her as she enters the conference room is Bob, my IBM technician, Kyle, my driver, Karen, my housekeeper, Betty, my personal assistant, and Donna, of all people. They all take a seat around the conference table. I look at Jimmy to hurry it alo
ng. I am very curious about this motley crew that has been assembled.
“I’m sure Jane has filled you in as to the reason she’s assembled you all here this afternoon, so I will turn the floor over to her.” He says, taking a seat. We all turn our attention to Jane. I try and hide my grin, as she now has that look she gets every time the spotlight is thrust upon her. She composes herself and stands to speak.
“Bob, will you help me with the projector, please?”
“Of course.” He gets up so quickly, his chair nearly falls backwards. I roll my eyes at his over-eagerness to help her. He turns on the projector and The Estabrook emblem comes on the large screen mounted on the wall.
“Now, imagine you were a recent college graduate looking for a job and you’ve heard about Estabrook. Well, naturally, you would want to research the company.” She glances at me and smiles. I know she is thinking about the first day we met and how I questioned her on the subject. “So, you would most likely go to your library or look at the business section of your local paper, and this is what you would see?” She clicks the button to turn the slide. With a ding, it shows a random man dressed in a business suit going into the library. Another click of the button shows the same man seemingly reading the newspaper. I’m sure we are to assume he is researching our company because it’s what shows up on the next slide.
“Betty, what do you think of this information we’ve put out about Estabrook?” Jane points at the screen.
“Well, nothing really.” Betty says, looking up at it. “There really isn’t anything there.”
“Exactly.” Jane says. “All you’ll be looking at is our company logo next to a bunch of generic people, doing boring office things, in boring fake office poses, much like you see in these slides. It’s like a really bad brochure you’d be forced to read at your doctor’s office.”
The room erupts with laughter.
“I’ll have you all know I put out that information myself.” Larry jabs the desk with his finger. He crosses his arms, rearing back in his chair seething at being made a fool of by two women. He’s already made it clear he feels they are overstepping their boundaries the last we spoke.
“I apologize.” Jane says, mortified that she had to prove a point at Larry’s expense. “I’m sure it was amazing in its day.” She starts, but stops again when he huffs at her unintended insult. He lights a cigarette and drags on it hard.
“It is a bit outdated, Larry.” I say, coming to her rescue, taking out my own cigarette and lighting it.
I nod for Jane to continue and to not give a shit about Larry’s sensitive ego. Instead, Jimmy takes over, not caring if he hurts feelings or not.
“Our popularity is at an all-time low,” He says. “Even though we have a chairman whose is not even thirty yet, we’re considered a grandfather company. No up-and-comer with new ideas is knocking down our door. Do you realize that we had that internship position available for six months and only two applicants took an interest? And one of them came here because of her charity work. Hell, she rammed her car into the chairman and didn’t even know who he was.” Everyone laughs while Jane blushes.
“Your point has been made very clear, Jimmy.” I tell him, rolling my eyes at his antics. “We need to reach out to the potential new hires.”
“Yes, we need to let them know that this is the company to be in.” Jimmy agrees. “That it’s not just run by some uptight guy who—”
“Obviously, we are here because you all have ideas on how to do that.” I interrupt him, looking at each person at the table for one of them to answer me. They all turn to Jane for the honor. She clears her throat to cover the anxiety of having to speak for everyone.
“Donna, Betty, and I came up with some ideas, yes.” She says. I realize this must be the reason their heads were always together. “We want to start by revamping the information, making it friendlier and more entertaining.”
“Friendly and entertaining.” Larry laughs. I have to refrain from smacking the condescending look off his face. “What is it going to be now, some tutti frutti ladies home journal?”
“Well, in a way.” Jane says. Every man at the table groans, as cigarettes get passed around and lighters start going on. She watches them shake their heads, disapprovingly while Betty scurries around, pouring them the coffee she brought in earlier. Jane’s eyes land on mine. I desperately want to rescue her, but she has to prove herself. My eyes lock with hers, urging her to keep it together. She takes a breath and squares her shoulders. That’s my girl. “What I meant to say was, that will be only one aspect of it. We want to appeal to women as more are graduating college and joining the workforce, but it will also be a how-to for anyone who is just venturing into the business world. People can not only learn all about Estabrook, but find other useful tools as well. That’s where we all come in. We’re going to create a monthly newsletter. Each person here will be responsible for a certain section.”
“Newsletter.” Larry says, crushing the butt of his cigarette and lighting another. “How is that going to work? Who reads those sorts of things? Next, they’ll be wanting us to take out ads in supermarket coupon sections.”
“Aw, come off it, Larry.” Jimmy says.
“I mean it. What kind of business are we running here, anyway? We’re letting women take over. Who reads Newsletters? That’s what I want to know? Who?”
“It’s all the rage in New York.” Betty says. “The Wall Street Journal—”
“Mr. Mason, are you listening to this? We are a hotel chain. We want to get people to stay at Estabrook, not invest. We are not playing in the stock market.”
“Of course, we are playing in the stock market, Larry.” I say. “But that is beside the point. What Betty is trying to say is that the Wall Street Journal has a newsletter. If they can get on board with this, we surely should consider it. Now quiet down, so we can hear the proposal. Go ahead, Jane.”
“Thank you, Michael, or um... Mr. Mason. As I was saying, everyone here will contribute. Betty, wants to give advice on how to go after a job. She’ll cover everything from how to have a standout resume to how to ace the interview process.”
“Betty knows nothing about that.” Larry turns to me to object.
“Seeing as how she does all of my employee screening, I’d say she’s very qualified. Please continue, Jane.”
“Karen will give suggestions on how to live on a budget. She can give recipes for tasty and inexpensive food that’s quick and easy to prepare. It’s aimed at young adults no longer living with their parents. You can have a dish of the month club if you want.” She says to Karen. “And give tips on proper dining etiquette for when you have to have those god-awful lunch meetings with your boss.” She smiles at me. “Donna, you’ll focus on fashion.”
“Yayyy.” Donna says, clapping her hands, causing the ladies to laugh and the men to shake their heads in annoyance.
“It will be for both men and women, showing them how to dress appropriately for work, giving advice on how to look good and save money.” Jane tells her.
“What are we now, parents or employers?” Larry says. “I ask you again, Mr. Mason, what kind of a business are we running here? You start this up and we’ll be bringing in a bunch of bosom suckers who still need their noses wiped.”
“Enough, Larry.” I am a second away from canning his ass.
“Mr. Dawson, it will be up to you to make sure that whatever we put in the newsletter doesn’t alienate the more… seasoned people that may want to read it.” Jane says, purposely getting to his contribution. “This all has to be approved by you, of course.”
“I should hope so.” He says. His chest swelling with the pride of importance in getting to approve the whole thing.”
Damn, she’s good.
“Kyle, you can also include a section on workplace security and uh… safe driving.” Jane says, with a laugh. “And Finally, Bob will take all of our ideas and information and put it together on a simple format that we can all work from.”
“Michael, what do you think?” Jimmy asks for my opinion and approval of the newsletter. I look around the table at the expectant faces.
“Larry, I want you on every inch of this. I want you to make sure it appropriately reflects what Estabrook is about at all times.” I tell him and he agrees, now all of a sudden on board with the whole idea. “And as long as it doesn’t interfere with the duties you all already have, I think it’s an excellent idea.”
“Great.” Jimmy says, smacking the table. “I want to launch this as quickly as possible. Jane and Betty will go around and give you more details on what’s actually expected of each of you in the next few days. Why don’t we all meet again in a week to see where we are? And if this works, we can talk about using it as a presentation when Larry’s team goes out and speaks to colleges.”
Betty informs me that Karen’s paperwork is on my desk for review since she is now to be employed at Estabrook. I tell her to just run it through. I adjourn the meeting and everyone exits the room chatting over ideas with one another, with the exception of Bob, who is lingering around chatting with Jane.
“Thank you, Bob.” I say to him and he takes it as his cue to leave. I lock the door behind him.
“Michael, this is very inappropriate.” Jane says when I lift her up and sit her on the conference table.
“I can’t help myself. Watching you lead meetings turns me on.”
“What if someone’s wondering where we are?” She says as I nip at her neck. She moans as she leans her head back to give me better access.
“Mmmm, two minutes, Sweetheart. That’s all I need.” My confession makes her laugh as she swats my roaming hands and pushes me away.
“I’m not going to get my underwear in a bunch for a measly two minutes.” She teases me as she hops off the conference table and heads toward the door. “Oh, I’ve scheduled your photo shoot for first thing in the morning. Your blue suit just came back from the cleaners. It brings out your eyes.” I must have missed this part of the presentation. “All of the departments and their heads will have pictures to go along with an explanation of who they are and what they do for the company.” She explains. “Bob will be taking the pictures.”