The Mommy Proposal

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  “While I don’t agree with your actions today—and for the record, if you ever pull a stunt like this again, you’re going to be grounded within an inch of your life.” He shot a warning look in Landry’s direction. “But that being said…your actions did serve a purpose. And that was to get my attention.”

  Nate held up a staying hand when Landry started to object. “Let me get this off my chest, okay?” He sighed. “The truth is, you were right—the DNA test does matter. I wanted us to be linked that way. In fact, I felt sure we were, because over the last few weeks I feel like we’ve truly become father and son. So it sure would have been nice to know we shared the same chromosomes.” He paused for a long moment. “But even though the test didn’t turn out the way we’d hoped, it will not ever change the way I feel about you.”

  “How can you say that?” Landry lamented, tears welling in his eyes.

  “Because I love you, Landry. You are my family,” Nate said emphatically. “We’re father and son in every way that matters. And to make it real—to make it lasting—all we have to do is take the next step and make it legal.” He paused, his heart in his throat. “So what do you say? I want to be your father from now on. But the question is do you want to be my son?”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Brooke could not stop crying and Landry hadn’t even answered yet.

  Nate was the best man—the best dad—she had ever had the privilege to know. Landry was one lucky kid. The question was, did he know it yet? Judging from the unchecked tears pouring down his face—and Nate’s—they were both beginning to grasp the importance of this link they shared.

  “Well, heck,” Landry mumbled, crying openly now, “if you put it that way.” The lanky teen stood and threw himself into Nate’s arms. The lump in Brooke’s throat grew, along with the joy in her heart.

  “I’ll call Ms. Tanous and get the legal stuff going first thing tomorrow morning,” Nate said thickly, holding the boy tightly.

  Landry nodded, and continued to weep, in joy and relief, while Cole watched with tearful longing.

  Nate finally clapped Landry on the back. Dabbing their eyes, appearing a little embarrassed, the two stepped apart. Cole sat there, waiting. Obviously happy for his friend, yet more bereft than ever for himself. And Brooke knew it was time she stepped up to the challenge, too. In a way she had been avoiding.

  She brought a chair over and sat opposite Cole, the way Nate had done with Landry. Gently, she reached out and took her son’s hand. She hated the resistance she felt from him, but she understood, and knew she deserved it. “You’re right to be upset with me, Cole. I haven’t been honest with you about what is going on, either.”

  “Why not?” he challenged, clearly angry now.

  Brooke gulped and kept her gaze on him steady. “Because I was trying to protect you,” she explained gently.

  Cole’s lip thrust out mutinously. “From what?” he demanded.

  “The truth.”

  Silence fell between them. “This has something to do with that Iris Lomax person, doesn’t it?” Cole asked emotionally.

  It was Brooke’s turn to be taken aback. “What do you know about that?”

  “She was Dad’s teaching assistant. She used to come over to the house sometimes when you weren’t there.” Cole explained. “They were writing poetry together—the poetry that was in Dad’s new book.”

  Poetry that had detailed the suffocating confinement of marriage…countered by the joyous rebirth of passion. Her heart sank. Unsure whether she felt more humiliated or foolish, she asked, “You’re sure they were doing it together?”

  Cole shrugged, looking unbearably young again. “Well…from what I overheard…Ms. Lomax was coming up with most of the stuff, but Dad was the one who was saying it was either okay or not.” Cole frowned. “You know how picky he was about words and stuff.”

  Yes, Brooke had known. Up to now, she had only thought that impacted Cole because his father had been too impatient and overbearingly critical to help his son with his homework. Had she been more attuned to what was going on, she surely would have seen Cole was upset about much more than that with his dad, in the months leading up to Seamus’s untimely death. Instead, she had naively chalked it up to father-son angst.

  Aware that Cole was waiting for her to explain, she forged on. “Well, that’s been part of the problem that I didn’t want you to know about. Ms. Lomax claims that your father stole that work from her. She says he wasn’t the author of the poetry, that she was. As a result, the publisher had no choice but to stop publication of the book.” Brooke exhaled softly. “If your dad was still here with us, it would be different. Because he isn’t here to defend himself or explain whatever the writing process was that he and Ms. Lomax used, they can’t be sure he didn’t plagiarize her writing.”

  A cynical expression crossed Cole’s face. He sat back in his chair with a disillusioned but accepting sigh. “I think he did, Mom. At least a little bit.”

  Given the extent of Seamus’s writer’s block, so did Brooke. “I’ve been thinking we may want to turn the rights for the material over to Iris Lomax, let her publish it under her name, or her name and Dad’s,” Brooke said.

  “I think we ought to just give the stuff to her, Mom, and leave Dad out of it,” Cole said.

  “I think you’re right,” Brooke agreed. It would make so many of their problems go away. “Morally, it’s the right thing to do.” And legally, and financially… “Anyway, that is why the university canceled the party—because there is no new book to celebrate,” she finished.

  Cole looked her in the eye. Something still seemed to be troubling him, she noted, and the continued wariness in his expression made her heart sink. He was still looking at her as if he thought she had betrayed him on some level. Obviously, they hadn’t aired all their troubles yet. She waited for him to tell her what was on his mind.

  Finally, Cole blurted, “Did Dad have an affair with Ms. Lomax?”

  Another stab to the heart. Not for the infidelity—Brooke had long ago come to terms with that—but for the fact that her son had to suffer the pain of the betrayal, too. Careful only to deal with what her son was old enough to handle, she asked, “Do you even know what that is?” She hadn’t covered it in her sex talk with him, and neither had the school….

  Cole rolled his eyes, then sighed. “Mom, I’m thirteen, not ten! Yes, I know what that is! It’s when two people who aren’t married sleep together and stuff.”

  Brooke’s defenses went up. Apparently she wasn’t as good at this truth-telling as Nate was yet. She studied her son. “Why would you think they had an affair?” It broke her heart that she and Cole were forced to have this conversation.

  He shoved his chair back several inches and stared at her with adolescent angst, commanding her to treat him like the adult he deemed himself to be. “Because that night at the hospital, when I went there to see Dad in the CCU, I heard some of the nurses talking about how horrible it was that he’d been with that grad student when he died, instead of his wife. It sounded like…” Cole choked.

  “He and that Iris lady were in bed,” Landry interjected for him.

  Cole sent him a grateful glance, then turned back to his mom.

  She didn’t know what to say.

  Cole continued, more composed now. He seemed determined to get this all out. “And that wasn’t really a big surprise, because he was always flirting with Iris Lomax when she came to the house.” He gulped. “And I saw him kissing her a few times.” Bitterness mingled with the confusion and hurt on Cole’s young face. “He told me not to tell you, and I didn’t because I didn’t want to hurt you, but…it made me mad, seeing him do that with her. It wasn’t right for him to cheat on you like that….”

  No, it hadn’t been.

  The worse thing, Brooke thought with a stab of guilt that went soul-deep, was that Cole had been forced to carry this burden alone for several years. Her own body sagged miserably before she reached out to touch his arm. “You
should have told me what you’d seen.”

  Visibly confused, he shrank from her touch. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  And yet, Brooke thought, even more miserably, they had both done that anyway, despite their best intentions.

  Cole sized her up. “But you were already hurt, weren’t you?”

  “Yes,” Brooke noted sadly. “As were you.”

  Cole waited. Brooke knew she had to say something that would help her son put this all in perspective. But what? She turned to Nate. He gave her an encouraging glance, and suddenly she knew what she had to do was put it all out there, and let the chips fall where they may.

  “Yes, your father had an affair with Ms. Lomax. I didn’t know about it until the night he died, and I found out then by accident, same as you.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to go on. “I had hoped you would never learn about it. I didn’t want you to think less of your father….” But instead you ended up thinking less of me. Brooke felt like a total failure as a mother. “So I covered for him.”

  This, Cole already knew.

  His jaw clenched. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  The fifty-million-dollar question. Once again, she forced herself to dig deep and answer honestly. “I don’t know. But I should have told you at least the part you could handle at the time. Because if I had done that it would have opened the door for you to confess to me all you had seen and heard.” She sighed with regret. “You wouldn’t have had to carry these secrets for all these years, and neither would I. And that would have been better for both of us, I think.”

  Cole relaxed, at ease once again. He regarded her with forgiveness in his eyes. “Yeah,” he told her gravely, “it would have.”

  Brooke reached across and clasped both his hands in hers. “I’m sorry I made a mistake.” She squeezed his palms with all the mother love she had to offer and looked him straight in the eye. “I promise you I won’t do it again. If something bad happens, I’ll tell you right away. And I want you to do the same with me.”

  Cole’s eyes welled, even as the love poured out of him. “I will…I promise,” he said thickly.

  Her own eyes misting over, even as relief poured through her, Brooke stood and held out her arms. Cole went into them, and they hugged each other fiercely.

  Finally, Cole stepped back. “There’s only one more thing we want to know,” he told his mother bluntly. He turned and looked at Landry.

  Whatever the two young men were thinking, Brooke noted, they were totally on the same page.

  Landry nodded, and Cole pivoted back to Brooke and Nate. He took a deep breath and said, “Me and Landry want to know what’s going on with the two of you.”

  Cole paused a beat, and wordlessly, Landry urged him on, as only an older brother could. Then Cole demanded even more bluntly, “Do you love Nate, Mom? And does Nate love you?”

  OUT OF THE MOUTHS of teens, Brooke thought, as her heart kicked inside her chest.

  Did they love each other? Brooke knew how she felt, notwithstanding their recent disagreement. But how did he feel? Was it enough? Should they even be discussing this? Especially now, when so much had already been disclosed.

  With a mixture of relief and apprehension, she realized that Nate apparently thought so. His posture CEO-confident, he closed the distance between them and took her hand. She searched his eyes, still not knowing what lay ahead, almost afraid to wish….

  His expression inscrutable, Nate spoke to Cole, Landry and Jessalyn. “It’s a good question. And I’m going to answer it, but I need a moment to speak with your mother privately first.”

  Jessalyn smiled, a matchmaker’s gleam in her eyes.

  Cole’s glance narrowed speculatively, as did Landry’s.

  The next thing Brooke knew, Nate had placed a cordial hand beneath her elbow. Gallantly, he escorted her from the room and down the hall, past the groups gathered in the solarium, to the deserted patio outside. As she swung around to face him, her heart rate kicked up another notch. Never had she hoped for so much.

  “First, I owe you an apology,” Nate said.

  Was that all this was? A chance to clear the air before going back to tell everyone that although they had briefly tested the waters, they were going to be “just friends”?

  Brooke knew only that she didn’t want to squander what chance of happiness she had left. Still holding Nate’s steady gaze, she swallowed the knot of emotion in her throat. “I owe you one, too.”

  A corner of his mouth kicked up ruefully. “You knew the whole DNA thing was more emotionally complicated than I was willing to let it be.”

  She nodded. “And you knew I should have leveled with Cole all along, that pain is as much a part of life as joy. And as much as we want to, we can’t shield our children from pain.” Feeling as if her whole soul had been laid bare, Brooke joked nervously, “Put our two methods together and we would almost be the perfect parent.”

  Nate chuckled, and she continued self-effacingly, “Minus another half-million mistakes along the way.”

  He sobered, suddenly looking as if his whole future was on the line, too. “I’m beginning to think it might be okay to let this idea of perfectionism go, at least when it comes to families and relationships.”

  Praying this wasn’t a prelude to his giving up on them, Brooke went very still. She swallowed. “What are you saying?”

  “My family was run like a business commodity when I was growing up.”

  Brooke knew Nate was insecure in his ability to connect with family the way loved ones should. He wasn’t the only one who had come up missing. “I never had a dad.” Never knew what a male role model in the home should be…until she’d seen Nate in action.

  He compressed his lips together ruefully. “When it comes to relationships—the idea of marriage…kids—I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.”

  At last, something in common, something to build on again. She took in a nervous breath, stepped closer and splayed her hands across the solid warmth of his chest. “Here’s a secret. A lot of times I don’t, either.”

  His hands settled around her waist. “But I know one thing, Brooke.”

  Beneath her fingertips, his heart was beating very hard and fast. Almost as quickly as her own, in fact.

  “My life is better and a heck of a lot more satisfying with you in it.”

  Hope rushed through her, followed swiftly by an overwhelming tide of emotion. “My life is better, too,” she whispered, misting up. “Way better, as Cole and Landry would say.”

  Nate nodded, ever so solemn and truthful and determined. “And that’s why we have to throw in the towel, surrender our pride and admit we both lost the battle to keep it casual days ago,” he finished in a rusty-sounding voice.

  Brooke took a deep breath, braced herself. More nervous than ever, she asked, “You want to tell the boys we’re dating?” She realized she was finally sure enough of her own feelings to take that leap.

  “No,” Nate said, in the flat decisive voice that said his mind was already made up. “We should have done that a while ago. Since we didn’t…” He paused and searched her eyes. “Cole and Landry have been very clear that they want more than that from us. They want us to be a family.”

  Brooke’s heart sank as the declaration she had been hoping to hear fell short. “I know that,” she replied quietly. I want that, too. “But we can’t continue to join forces just to fulfill some sort of fantasy the boys have of what their life would be like if we all stay together. Especially when we just promised them they would have the whole truth from both of us from here on out.” Although what that was, on Nate’s part, she still didn’t know.

  His grip on her tightened. “And it’s a vow I mean to deliver on,” he said in a tone that made her feel safe and protected.

  The pulse in his throat was throbbing.

  “Which is why I have to tell you what I should have told you days ago.” Nate paused again and looked deep into her eyes, his expression ra
w, and filled with the longing she harbored deep inside. “I don’t just want you or need you or want to spend every waking minute with you.” He paused, then continued thickly, “Although for the record, all of that is true.”

  “For me, too.” Brooke’s own voice broke slightly.

  Nate flashed a crooked smile. “That’s good to hear,” he told her reverently. “Because I love you, Brooke, with everything I am and everything I have. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”

  Relief filtered through her, followed swiftly by joy. She threw her arms around his neck, brought him close and whispered tenderly, “Oh, Nate!” She was thrilled to realize she was finally getting everything she had ever dreamed. “I love you, too,” she cried, trembling. She drew back and looked deep into his eyes. “So very much.”

  He gathered her even closer, bent his head and kissed her with the promise of all the days and nights to come.

  Finally, he bussed her on the forehead and declared with typical CEO efficiency, “Then there is only one thing for us to do.”

  Epilogue

  One year later…

  “What did you say to the boys?” Brooke emerged from the bedroom dressed in a knee-length white silk dress. She watched as Landry and Cole raced away from the caretaker’s cottage, showing the same energy and excitement with which they had dashed in.

  “My credo, since I met you.” Nate strode toward her, looking resplendent in his own light summer suit and tie. He took her hands in his and leaned forward to tenderly kiss her lips. “Slow and steady wins the race every time.”

  Brooke tingled from the caress. Holding on to Nate, she gazed up at him affectionately. The last year had been the happiest of her life, and the future looked even brighter. “Did they listen?”

  His eyes sparkled with merriment. “Let’s just say they’re still intent on making a few ‘miracles’ of their own, via a surprise or two.”