Yours, Mine and Ours (Second Chances)

by Daley, Margaret

  "Beth Linden from work is attending the conference the last two days. I can get a ride back with her," Tess answered as they entered the restaurant.

  After placing their orders, he studied Tess over the rim of his coffee cup while he took several sips. "You know we should talk about Saturday night."

  Tess dropped her gaze to the wooden tabletop. "I'm not sure I'm ready to."

  "What? Talk or take the next step?"

  When she looked up at him, she was reminded of the man's power and strength, etched into his hard features. She was reminded of the fact that she had almost made love to him right in her grandmother's living room with two children in the house. He obliterated any common sense she thought she had with merely his touch. "Both."

  "Then let me have my say and you listen. We're attracted to each other. No amount of running away from that truth or denying it will change it. I want you, Tess. I care about you. I would like us to spend some time alone together without the children."

  "We are now."

  His look seared through her defenses. "I have a cabin on Grand Lake. I'd like to take you down there one weekend before winter sets in."

  "Oh." Tess fidgeted with her fork, turning it over and over. A picture of them alone at the lake, cuddled together before a roaring fire, his arms about her, snatched the very breath from her lungs.

  "Think about it while you're here. We'll resume this conversation when you return to Crystal City."

  He couldn't have gotten her attention more effectively with that statement if he had tried. For the rest of the meal and the ride to the hotel, Tess thought about nothing else but his invitation. If she committed to him, she would be opening herself and her family up to being hurt again.

  At the hotel after stowing her luggage until her room was ready, Tess swung around to thank Zachariah for the ride and found him gone. She scanned the lobby and saw him standing in an alcove, staring out a large picture window with his hands clasped behind his back. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him so alone.

  As she strode toward him, he faced her, his gaze joined with hers. Now the beat of her heart slammed against her breast in an ever increasing rate. Memories of Saturday night inundated her and her step faltered. She could again feel his hand exploring her sensitive skin; she could again taste his mouth against hers, his tongue deep inside seeking the hidden recesses within. His scent invaded the memories, sharpening them even more as she closed the distance between them.

  When she came to a halt in front of him, he grasped her hands and held them between their bodies. "I know we're standing in a lobby of a busy hotel with people coming and going, but I want to kiss you, Tess. Badly."

  The anticipation of that kiss created a tingling throughout her. "What's stopping you?"

  He chuckled and tugged her closer. "Nothing," he murmured and crushed her lips beneath his.

  The mating of their mouths was hot, quick and hard. Before Tess had time to wind her arms around his neck, to flatten herself against him completely, he stepped back, gave her a look that curled her insides, and turned to leave.

  He paused and glanced back, the silver glints in his eyes offering a promise. "We'll have that talk when you come home."

  Tess sank into a nearby chair as Zachariah left the hotel. She still felt the pressure of his mouth on hers and realized she wanted much more. Dissatisfied, she brought her fingers up to graze across her lips. The thought of having to listen to lectures for the next four days made her groan. She was afraid her employer wasn't going to get his money's worth because she didn't know how she wasn't going to be thinking about Zachariah and his invitation.

  * * *

  As Beth turned on Oakcrest Drive, Tess rummaged around in her big purse for her keys. "I know I brought them."

  "Won't someone be home?"

  "Hopefully since I—" Tess latched onto her set of keys and produced them with a flourish. "I've got them." She stared out the windshield and noticed they were in her driveway. "Thanks, Beth. I really appreciate the ride. One of these days I'll be able to afford a car that actually can go more than ten miles from home."

  "No problem. I enjoyed the company. The drive from Oklahoma City can be a lonely one."

  "Yeah," Tess agreed, remembering her own trip on Monday. Most of all she remembered what Zachariah had asked her to think about. Now that she was finally home, she wasn't sure she could take that next step with him. She needed to feel that she could stand alone, that she didn't have to be tied to a man to be complete. After four days she still was undecided what she should do.

  Tess slipped from the car, retrieved her bag from the back seat and started for the porch. The front door flew open, and Katie raced down the steps, launching herself at Tess just as she set her piece of luggage on the ground.

  "I missed ya, Mommie."

  Tess knelt in front of Katie and hugged her daughter to her. "I missed you, too, sweetheart. Talking on the phone at night just isn't the same thing as holding you."

  "Pick me up." When Tess started to swung Katie up into her arms, her daughter shook her head. "No. No. Better not. I'm a big girl now. Zach says I am when I help him."

  "Help him?" Suddenly Tess heard the sound of hammering and it seemed to be coming from her backyard. "Doing what, Katie?"

  "We're building a fence. I hold the nails for him."

  "A fence! Where?" A finely honed tension hummed through Tess's veins.

  "I'll show ya." Katie took her mother's hand and began to drag her around the side of the house.

  Tess barely had enough time to grab the handle of her luggage before she found herself facing the gaping hole where it was obvious a gate would soon be. Anger began to simmer in her. How dare he do something like this without talking it over with her first! Even though this was her grandmother's house, he was putting the fence up because of her dog. She should have a say in that. Granny didn't have the money to build one and neither did she.

  All at once a memory of the time Brad had brought Bruce home without consulting her and had left her to deal with the day to day upkeep of a very large dog swept into her mind. Then another memory assailed her. She would never forget when Brad had taken their lifesavings to buy a speedboat without her even knowing about it until the craft was sitting in their driveway.

  Tess dropped her bag by the gaping hole and marched around the side of the house and over to where Zachariah was pounding a nail into a slat of wood. "May I ask what you think you're doing?"

  He threw her a glance over his shoulder, then resumed hammering. "Putting up a fence," he mumbled around several nails in his mouth.

  Tess turned to her daughter. "Sweetheart, why don't you go inside and keep Granny Kime company?"

  "Don't wanna." Katie's lower lip stuck out. "I wanna stay out here wif you and Zach."

  "When I get through talking with Mr. Smith, I'll give you the present I got you in Oklahoma City."

  "What?"

  "It's a surprise. I won't be very long."

  Katie put her thumb in her mouth and stared up at her mother then at Zachariah for a long moment. "Okay." She whirled and ran for the house.

  "So we're back to Mr. Smith," Zachariah said after removing the nails from his mouth and carefully placing his hammer on the ground next to the pile of wooden slats.

  "Who gave you the right to come into my backyard and put up a fence?"

  "Your grandmother."

  Tess blinked, for some reason not expecting that answer. "Why?"

  "Because Bruce needed a place to stay."

  Tension whipped down the length of her body. She again experienced the feeling of being circumvented, of her wishes being ignored. "I didn't realize Bruce was your concern. It wasn't your place to take matters into your own hands. This is none of your business."

  "Look, Tess. I only wanted to help you out. Some of my buddies have been helping me put up the fence. I'd hope to surprise you and have it completed by the time you got home, but Robert and Ned were called away on an emergenc
y this afternoon."

  "You waited until the first time I was out of town and then you went behind my back. Maybe I like things just the way they are."

  "Yeah, that's your problem. You won't take a risk."

  "This isn't about taking a risk." Tess waved her hand toward the unfinished fence. "This is about you doing something supposedly for me and yet you weren't really sure I wanted it or you would have asked me. Brad used to do that. According to him I wanted a Great Dane. Then I wanted a speedboat so he could go to the lake every weekend and leave me alone with the children and the dog." Her voice rose with her anger. All the times Brad had not consulted her swamped her with feelings she thought she had been slowly working through.

  "It always comes back to Brad. Are you going to let that man rule your life forever?"

  Tess sucked in a deep breath and held it until her lungs ached. "I can't afford a fence," she said, refusing to answer his question.

  His eyes narrowed for a few seconds as though debating whether to pursue the subject of Brad or not. "I got the neighbors to pitch in with the cost of the lumber so it won't be much. Labor is free. You can pay me back later when you have the money."

  "You've overstepped your bounds as my friend."

  "I thought we were more than friends. What did you think was happening?"

  "I don't need your help in taking care of my dog," she said in a forceful tone, realizing she was ignoring his comment about their developing relationship. She couldn't answer him on that; she couldn't think about that at the moment.

  He took a step closer to her. "Listen, you told me you didn't like putting Bruce on a rope when he went outside. Now you don't have to."

  "What else have you decided about my family since I've been gone? Have you mapped out Wesley's career as a soccer player? Will it be more than insisting he play goalie?"

  "This has nothing to do with Wesley."

  "Doesn't it? You're always there ready to help, ready to take over. Will I have a say in anything having to do with my children?"

  Anger hardened the planes of his face. A nerve jerked in his jaw. "Tess, you're blowing this all out of proportion."

  "Am I?" She raised one brow in a mocking gesture, intense feelings snapping her body taut.

  "What are you really afraid of? What I asked you to think about? Becoming intimate with me? What?" He started to reach for her, but she backed away. With teeth clenched, he fisted his hands at his sides and inhaled in a deep breath.

  She watched him struggle to gain control, but she didn't care. Days of contending with an internal clash played havoc with her raw emotions. She felt sapped of energy, tired of not knowing what to do, of seesawing between her vow to herself and her blossoming feelings concerning Zachariah. Her life wasn't hers any longer. She felt like a puppet with someone else pulling the strings.

  "Let's talk some place less public," he said, a neutral expression descending over his features.

  "Why should we? You chose to go behind my back and decide for me what was best," she goaded, upset that he could get a grip on his emotions while inside she was shredding, piece by piece.

  This time he moved with lightning quick speed and grabbed her upper arms. He pulled her close against his body. "I'll take this fence down if that's what you want."

  The words exploded from his mouth, bathing her in his hot fury. But she wouldn't back down. She thrust her face close to his and said in a equally forceful voice, "Yes, that's what I want."

  "Stop it. Stop it," Wesley shouted from behind Tess.

  Time paused for a few seconds as her son's plea penetrated her anger. Zachariah released her, and she stumbled backward. When she spun toward Wesley, she saw the tears streaming down his face, the hurt etched into his expression as though it had come from the depths of his soul. But for the life of her, her parched throat captured her words and held them tightly inside.

  "Why are you two fighting? It's just like Dad and you," her son said, then spun about and ran from the backyard.

  Wesley's flight set her in motion. She raced after her son, her heart pounding as quickly as her feet She couldn't think beyond the fact she had to reach him, hold him and explain to him.

  He kept running across the front yard and toward the street. Tess saw the car coming as though it were moving in slow motion, as though the scene were painted in tones of gray, surrealistic, nightmarish. Yards away from Wesley, all she could do was shout for him to stop. He didn't for several more feet, then suddenly he came to a halt in the middle of the street, as if he finally realized something was wrong, and whirled about as the car slammed into his body, tossing him up into the air and onto the hood. The thud reverberated through her mind, replaying continuously like a stuck record on a stereo.

  Tess screamed, over and over.

  The screech of the tires coalesced with her outcries to blend into one horrendous sound. Tess was a few feet away when her son rolled from the hood and struck the pavement near the left front tire.

  "Oh, my God. Oh, my God," she said as she reached Wesley, lying in the street, his right leg bent at an odd angle, his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling rapidly with shallow breaths.

  Mustn't move him, she thought while frantically trying to remember her first aid course in high school. But she desperately wanted to scoop him up into her arms and absorb all his pain into her own body. She desperately wanted to take back the past ten minutes and redo the terrible scene all over. And most of all, she desperately wanted to change places with her son. He should never have to suffer because of her.

  "This should be me. Never Wesley. Not my baby," she cried as she felt his thready pulse beat beneath her fingertips at his neck. She brushed the wet tracks from her son's cheeks while her own tears flowed down her face. Around her she heard voices, urgent ones, upset ones, but she didn't have time to listen. She must help Wesley.

  Strong hands clasped her arms and began to lift her away from her son. "No!" She tried to wrench free, but the strength of the grip only increased. "I have to help him."

  "Tess, let me," Zachariah said in a voice demanding she obey.

  "No, you've helped enough." She had an overriding urge to hold her son, to cling to him. She was so afraid it would be the last time.

  Zachariah knelt down next to her. "Listen, Tess." He waited until she looked up into his face. "I've been trained in emergency care."

  His soothing voice, with a hint of gravity, pierced through the haze that clouded her mind. Wesley lay so still, his skin clammy to the touch. Panic began to take hold and weave its way through her as she acknowledged she might lose her son. "I'm his mother. He needs me."

  "Tess." Zachariah's fingers dug into her upper arms as he dragged her toward him and away from Wesley. "Someone has called for an ambulance, but I want to check him."

  She stared into Zachariah's storm dark eyes, then scooted a few inches away so that he could tend to Wesley. Her heart felt as if it were breaking into a thousand pieces as she watched through the sheen of her tears as Zachariah examined her son. She saw the pool of blood on the pavement where his head had hit and bit her lower lips until she tasted her own. She heard in the distance the ambulance's siren and the sound brought home to her the fragility of the situation. Would it arrive in time? Would she hold Wesley again in her arms?

  * * *

  "Here's some coffee," Zachariah said when he reentered the hospital waiting room and placed a Styrofoam cup into Tess's hand.

  Automatically, without a thought, Tess lifted the hot drink to her mouth and sipped. She winced and put the cup on the table next to her chair. "I don't like coffee."

  "I know but I thought you might need the stimulant."

  "I couldn't sleep if my life depended…" Her words faded into the silence. Her son was this very moment on an operating table fighting for his life and there was nothing she could do but sit and pray. And wait

  Tears, ever quick to return, sprang into her eyes. She jumped to her feet and began to pace, thankful that no one els
e was in the room. She was afraid at any moment she would fall apart.

  "Tess, I called your grandmother to check on Shaun and Katie. They are finally in bed asleep."

  Zachariah's words registered in her thoughts, but their meaning was fleeting as if an idea just within grasp kept teasing her then fading away into the blankness of her mind. She couldn't concentrate long on anything except putting one foot in front of the other.

  Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; all the King's horses and all the King's men, couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.

  One of Katie's favorite nursery rhymes played over and over in Tess's numbed mind as she walked from one end of the small waiting room to the other. She felt the cracks in her facade as if she had fallen from a high place. If Wesley didn't make it, she didn't know if she would be able to pull herself together for her other two children.